crap i wrote...

this was from an assignment in computer science I in high school.  we had to type up a
diary from our past week.  needless to say, we were allowed to just make stuff up.  
the first week is what i made up for a friend�s week.  the second week is what i made up
for my own. 

Sunday:  I counted the ceiling tiles in my house.  8,400.  Wow...if the tiles were cattle, I�d
have a lot of Cattle!
Monday:  I talked to myself on the phone today.  Sometimes I just like to hear that little
beeping noise that comes on when the receiver is off the hook for too long.  Anyway, I
had a lot to say.
Tuesday:  I painted the nails of every family member, including the animals.  Whoo-hoo!
Wednesday:  Today is Wednesday.  Hello?  Can anyone hear me?  I like colored chalk. 
:o)
Thursday:  I got gum stuck between my toes.  Don�t ask...  Also, don�t ask how we
removed it.
Friday:  I found a peanut today.  It was behind the dryer.  It looked okay, so I ate it.  Not
so bad...better than I�d expect, anyway.
Saturday:  Today I discovered something...Yogi Bear is smarter than the average
bear!

Sunday:  My parents, who are elves, completed our cabin in the Indian Ocean.
Monday:  My sister joined a cult, which none of my family approves up.  Our cow, Alex
Trebek, exploded because he wasn�t milked soon enough.  (They make a �sput� noise
before that happens, ya know.  If you hear that, you�d better run.)
Tuesday:  Ronald Reagan came to visit the new cabin.  He swam out there.  Powerful
swimmer, I guess.  Good for him.
Wednesday:  I shot Peter Jennings.  I don�t know why...he just bugged me.  I guess I feel
guilty...a little.  No one knows yet.  I hid his body in a tree trunk that I hollowed out. 
Sh-h-h...
Thursday:  I bought some drapes for the cabin.  I think Ronald will be coming back to visit
soon.  We hope he�ll approve.  His opinion is semi-important to my dad.  My father is
crazy, by the way.  He thinks his hat is trying to eat his head, and that�s why he won�t
wear it anymore.  He�s also afraid of his hands.  He thinks they�ll clasp his mouth and nose
some night while he�s sleeping, and they�ll suffocate him.
Friday:  We got a new cow today, since Alex Trebek blew up on Tuesday.  Our new
cow�s name is Simon.  We just need to remember to milk this one sometimes.
Saturday:  Ronald phoned and said he plans to visit again tomorrow.  That will please my
dad.  (He�s crazy, ya know.)  Ronald intends to travel here by boat this time, instead of
swimming over.  This is because he is bringing with him a golden retriever or five.

the rest of this stuff is stuff i had to write for a creative writing class i took in high school:

In My House
My parents are old,
and the house is cold.
There�s laundry to fold,
and insurance sold.

Angel
she�s cold where she lies
above us she flies

Sparkled clothing with
blue socks and Mickey Mouse ears
That�s Columbia
(of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"--the picture shows Columbia [on your left] painting Magenta's [on your right] toenails.)

Old MacDonald�s goat
was completely out of pants,
so he ate boxers.

Little Boat
it�s green, blue, and red
it has eyes and a big grin
it�s small--hence it�s name

� 1997 [email protected]