Thoughts on the Weekend
All Nations Bible Fellowship Mission Trip
God answers prayers. Yep, he does. I knew this. I told others this who were curious. I truly believed this. But I wondered. I sometimes thought that maybe my answers were just coincidences. How is it God keeps proving me wrong? This weekend was 1)Life Changing; 2)Challenging; 3) A great experience and a lot of fun. I hit my very low the previous Saturday when I became suicidal. I really cried out to God that I needed help. I needed some concrete answers from Him. And low behold he answered me in a very direct and personal way.
I thought that answer came solely in beginning to go and see a counsolor. Wrong. God used this weekend in a very dramatic way. I expected something different from this new church and was prepared for something different. But not in any way was I prepared for something life changing. Pastor Mann at All Nations Bible Fellowship stretched me in ways I have never been stretched before. And even though I don�t agree with all of his methods, through him God showed me in a direct way that I was not doing my Christian duty in the great commission. I also saw for the first time a truly joyful church. Bethlehem is a drag and North Park is sleepy compared to ANBF. They were praising God with everything they had in them. 5am prayer meeting, 9:30 Sunday school, 11am service (2 � hours long), evening service (2 � hours long). Of course this impressive list would be meaningless except for the fact that all of these hours of worship were filled with the same level of joy and exhuberance. Most if not all of these people have seen grace in a dramatic way in their lives. So many of them fit so perfectly the situations we see in the New Testament of sinners coming to Christ. There are many people in this church who are now saved that were once prostitutes and drug users. I had to ask myself- how often do members of Bethlehem or North Park walk around the city evangelizing to the lowest of society. Or do we sit on lofty perches occasionally yelling down to the lost expecting them to listen?
Pastor Mann knows his place well. He is a saved sinner and a message boy for God. He doesn�t save people and he is saved himself. Thus he knows that there is no cause for fear. While we may be afraid of walking up to �just anyone� on the street and talking to them about Jesus Christ, he is not. Even parking attendants aren�t safe. Pastor Mann sees lost sinners, whom he was once, and knows that if God does not reach these people and change there hearts they will be punished eternally by seperation from Him. It is much like the old story of a man who sees great suffering in the world and the man cries up to God �why won�t you send someone to help these people� only to have God call back �I sent you�.
This weekend God shoved me forward. I know that I am way too comfortable as a Christian. I really hated being put on the spot and shoved forward, but I realize now that it was needed. If I am not dragged out of my comfort zone I will naturally stay there. But Christians were never meant to be comfortable. Comfort turns to tolerance and tolerance turns to sin (i.e. practicing lesbians being ordained).
God also finally completely crushed the doctrine that I have clinged to for a long time. A doctrine of tolerance. I could not sleep this Saturday night. So I got up and I prayed and I argued with God. And believe me I really put up a fight that lasted through out the night. And God showed me that I had been following some false doctrine. I hated being shown that I was wrong, but the fact is I was wrong and I needed to submit myself to His righteousness.
By allowing myself to fully submit to him I knew it was his will that I had submitted to because a nearly miraculous change has taken place. I am finding myself much more gracious and I am finding it easy to submit myself in other areas of my life. I think my mom has already noticed the change. I got home and what would have normally turned into a usual fight did not. Within the few minutes I was awake she suddenly saw me submitting to rules I normally don�t submit to. Because of this wonderful life change I know that it is God whom I am submitting myself to.
So what is this area in my life that God got me to submit to him in? Baptism. He has shown me that it is important for me to be baptized to show Him (and everyone else) that I am fully submitting myself to him, even when it makes me very uncomfortable. I have heard every argument in the book against anabaptism many times over and then some, yet none hold up against the Truth of God�s Word. I could probably argue for and against it for the next 20 years, but I would be in the wrong. It is really tough because I know that my parents will not understand and they will believe that I am wrong and doing a terrible thing. I hope they will find it in their heart to forgive me though. As my psychologist put it- I could be joining a Satanist cult and moving to south America, but instead I am simply changing churches and choosing to fully submit to God- how could my parents be anything but proud, even if it meant that I had a different doctrine then they did?
As you can see I have not offered any intellectual arguments here. I am content with what God has revealed to me and will follow. I have to remember it is intellectual arguments that lead Charles Templeton, one of the nations greatest preachers to become an atheist.
Besides all of this I was so thrilled that I was welcome in the group and they did not make me feel like an outsider. They were actually really glad to have me there. I am so glad to be here and hope I can befriend those who I am not friends with yet. So thank you Eric, Dan, Suzanna, Missy, and Erin.
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