Why spend so much just for a stupid bumper??
I wanted to get a bumper that would accomodate a swing-out tire carrier that I could add later when I got my lift and bigger tires. So I chose the Bulletproof Mfg. FF1RS, based on the great reviews I have read about the quality of the product. Everyone said that these bumpers are expensive as hell, but you definitely get what you pay for. The design is sweet, it's a modular system that will accomodate a 42" tire, two 5 gal. jerry cans, a Hi-Lift, and an antenna mount. There are two tire different tire mounts available, (1) keeps the tire close for use when not carrying jerry cans, and (2) for use w/jerry cans that keeps the tire low so you can see out the back window, but also rotates 180 degrees to keep the tire high for increased departure angle while on the trail. There is even a rack system that you can bolt on to the swing out. There are optional clevis shackle mounts ($99) which I didn't order since I was going to use a shackle bracket in the class III receiver. I didn't want to have to drill into my frame and BP's was one of the few bumpers that didn't need drilling. When I checked out their homepage, I noticed that the bumper didn't quite cover the corners. I measured the width of my TJ and found out that it is 60", whereas the bumper is only 54". The site said that you could order the bumper longer or shorter for an additional charge. So I gave them a call to see how much this bad boy was going to cost. I was about to find out that although they make great products, their customer service sucks ass.
The first time I called and asked for a quote, they told me $309 for the bumper, $35 for the extra length to make the bumper 60" long, and $45 for shipping, a total of $389. I didn't have the money to order at the time, but when I called back 2 months later to order it, they told me that the extra length would be $55. Then I told them that I got a quote for less, they said sorry, but the price is still $55. Damn bitches!!! It's only $20, but shit, that's a half rack of some really good beer!!! They also told me that it would take 6 weeks since their factory was backed up. Oh well, fuck it, I ordered it anyway.
Finally, 7 weeks later, I got my bumper. I tore open the box and found the mounting instructions. They said to use the template to mark the holes for drilling. What the fuck?? Their site said "NO DRILLING" but the instructions said "no drilling for pre-'98 Wranglers only". Motherfuckers. So I looked for the template, but it wasn't there, and neither was the mounting hardware that they claimed to include. So I tore through the 10 lbs. of shredded paper that was packed in the box looking for the missing shit. Nada........these damn bitches were really starting to piss me off. So the next day I called and told them they forgot to include some stuff. So they sent it out and I got it a few days later, but they still forgot to include the drilling template. I didn't want to wait anymore so I started anyway.
Installation
Now I was ready to mount this fucker. I ripped off the stock bumper, measured the hole pattern on the new bumper, marked the holes, and drilled away. Then I started threading one of the bolts, but when I went to start the second one, the holes didn't quite line up since I didn't use the template. No problem, I busted out my rat-tail file and went to work trimming the holes. You have to remove the bolts near the rear of the gas tank skid and lower the gas tank to get the bolts in. This was a royal pain in the ass since my hands barely fit behind the gas tank. I got to the last of the 8 bolts but it didn't lign up so I couldn't get it threaded. I wasn't about to undo the rest of the bolts so I could file it out. Fuck it, good enough for now, I'll fix it later. I started tightening up the bolts but when I got to the driver's side, the weird angle wouldn't let me get the socket on the bolt. The only way to get to it was with a U-joint which I didn't have. I couldn't go buy one cause it was late at night so the damn auto parts store was closed. Fuck it, fix it later. I went to tighten the bolts on the gas tank, but when I lifted the Tomken gas tank skid up, the receiver on the bumper was in the way. This was really turning into a nightmare. I figured the only way to get it on was to cut a chunk out of the skid plate. Luckily my step-dad just bought a Sawzall which cut through the 1/8" thick skid plate like butter. Finally I was able to get one side of the bumper tightened all the way up and I could go to sleep since I had to work the next day.
The next day I went to pick up a U-joint but the were all sold out. Fuck. I went to another parts store and those bastards didn't have one either. But they did have a 5/8" socket with a U-joint. Fuck it, I'll give it a try, besides I didn't want to wait too long since I was worried that the loose bolts might fall out while I was driving. I got home and had to drop the gas tank again (dammit), but the U-joint socket was pretty long and didn't work well with the angles, so I only got the bolts half way in. I was just about ready to rip the fucker off and send it back. But I was too close to victory to quit now. So the next day I went to a 3rd parts store and finally found a U-joint. I didn't have to drop the gas skid now since I had the right tools and I was finally able to get the bolts tightened all the way. But I still haven't fixed the last hole so I can put the bolt in. Oh well, fuck it, I'll fix it later................finally fixed on 2-11-01 |
