Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road to Baghdad?

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GEORGE W. BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just

want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The

chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle

ground here.

AL GORE

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken

crossing the road represented the application of these two different

functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring

greater services to the American people.

COLIN POWELL

Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of

the chicken crossing the road.

HANZ BLIX

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet

been allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)

The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication.

We don't even have a chicken.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified

in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been

polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach

the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was

crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was

getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone

out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with

crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more

of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid

for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking

about

your money, money the government took from you to build roads for

chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART

No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a

standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price

dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider

information.

DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,

The chicken crossed the road,

But why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads

without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.

Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was

good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the

chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it

experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its

life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was an historical inevitability.

VOLTAIRE

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the

death its right to do it.

CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more

chickens have to cross before you believe it?

BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,

but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your

checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath

the chicken?

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by

chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?