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"CONDOM SLOGANS"
LIST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS
PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK
1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9 . If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your
trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!
Q: Why do some bald men have holes in their pockets?
A: So they can run their fingers through their hair.
For the horse lover in us all...
~~~Horses in the race are:~~~
1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Thighs
8. Big Dick
9. Heavy Bosom
10. Merry cherry
~~~At the Post:~~~
And they're off!
Conscience is left behind at the post.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick
is in a very dangerous spot.
~~~At the Halfway Mark:~~~
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is
pressed in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare
Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
~~~At The Stretch:~~~
Merry Cherry cracks under the strain.
Big Dick is making a final drive.
Bare Belly is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
~~~At The Finish:~~~
It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate
Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer.
It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes through
with one final thrust and wins by a head.
...Bare Belly shows.
...Thighs weakens.
...Heavy Bosom pulls up.
... & Clean Sheets never had a chance.
A man went to a plastic surgeon to get work done on his penis. The
doctor, curious, asked what had happened to it. "Well," the patient
said, "I live in a trailer camp. A gorgeous buxom creature lives in
the trailer next to mine.
I used to peek into her trailer and I saw that she had a habit. Each
afternoon she would take a hot dog from her refrigerator and put it
in a hole on her trailer floor. Then she'd sit on it and have a ball.
She nearly drove me crazy.
So I got a bright idea. One day I got under her trailer and when she
slid the hot dog in the hole, I slid it out and slipped my penis up
through the hole. She sat down on it and everything was going just
great until there was a knock at the door."
"And then?" said the doctor. "Aw he**," the patient explained,
"That's when she tried to kick it under the stove."