Interview

EXCLUSIVE - Interview with the Clementine

The Clementines were granted an interview with its elusive and delicious elected leader.

The current reigning Clementine was elected in the fall of 1952 in the former U.S.S.R., her homeland. Before a Clementine is elected, they must pass a series of grueling tests to prove their worth. They must stand on the Rock of Vertigo in the Creek of Animosity for 36 hours. After succeeding the candidate must then capture the Sandal of Power. If a candidate captures the Sandal of Power then the candidate is anointed with Clementine juice and officially appointed THE CLEMENTINE.
(Note - The person who made up these questions is full of CRAP!)

The Clementine standing on the Rock of Vertigo in the Vladivostok

The Clementine proving her worth by capturing the sandal of power (Note: Frank can be seen in the pink shirt on the bridge)

WHY ARE THE CLEMENTINES SO STUPID?
Because Ryan Falk made up this question.

IS THERE A PURPOSE BEHIND THE CLEMENTINES?
To take over the world, to conquer the globe called Earth.

WHY IS RACHEL SO STUPID?
Because she has fine hair and worked at Subway.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SACRIFICED?
Can't say that I have, at least not to my knowledge.

SHOULD RABID ANIMALS BE RELEASED DOWNTOWN?
Of course.

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON MONKEYS MURDERING CHILDREN?
Go monkeys.

BOXERS/BRIEFS/COMMANDO?
Girdle.

IS THE WOLFMAN REAL AND IF SO, CAN HE BE KILLED BY A SILVER BULLET?
He is my father, no he cannot be killed by a silver bullet, only by a taco.

AIRBAGS OR CHILDREN SHOVED IN DASH?
Airbags...

SHOULD SUCCESSFUL SUICIDE BE ILLEGAL?
...Sure.

SHOULD NICK BUROKER BE KILLED?
All the way.

IS GETTING HIT BY A SEMI HILARIOUS?
Hilariously painful.

TO LYNCH OR NOT TO LYNCH?
To lynch.

CAN WAFFLES MAKE GOOD CLOTHING?
I guess.

WHY IS FRUITY NATHAN REES SO FRUITY?
Because he is Mr. Nate.

IF YOU WERE BLIND, WHAT WOULD YOU GO SEE ON VACATION?
Grand Canyon.

WHERE WOULD YOU RATHER TAKE A BULLET, CHEST OR HEAD?
Head.

DOES EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA SOUND FUN AND ENTERTAINING?
Yes... and delicious.

WILL A PLASTIC MAKE GOOD HEADGEAR?
Yes for braces.

HAVE YOU SEEN MY BASEBALL?
No. (Puzzled look)

WHAT ROMAN NUMERAL WOULD YOU BE?
X.

Now wasn't that unsettling... If you have any questions for the all-knowing Clementine, send them to [email protected]