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����������� Idle Thoughts--Bittersweet Remembrances |
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I thought that "we" would last forever. |
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I was wrong. |
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Four years may not be long in an eternity, |
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but it was a fifth of my life. |
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I saw a card the other day.�� It said: |
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"Whenever I am alone, I find my thoughts drifting to you." |
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I bought it with you in mind.�� (I bought it because it is true.) |
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I wanted to give it to you. |
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But you are gone. |
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So, of course, you will never know, |
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that my thoughts are always of you. |
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��Sometimes I wear your old shirt, |
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on cold winter nights. |
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it wraps around my body,� |
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�making me feel warm and safe. |
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�. . . much as your arms used to do, |
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on cold winter nights. |
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Tear stains on your pictures, |
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mark the times that I have cried, |
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��A salt streak runs along your cheek-- |
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Was that your tear or mine? |
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Today was my first birthday without you. |
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Everyone was cheerful, and I smiled with them. |
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But the best present in the world was not mine to unwrap. |
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And when I blew out the candles, the wish that I made |
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was for the gift that I cannot have. |
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I wanted to lie in your arms tonight. |
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Tonight I looked up at a star-- |
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� a star that somewhere shines on you. |
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� I closed my eyes and sighed. |
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Stars are eternal. |
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It is odd, really.� I cannot even remember the date |
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that you came into my life.� But one thing is certain-- |
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I will never forget the date that you left. |
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March 8--I have now survived a whole year without you.� |
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�One down.� Sixty more to go. |
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Your portrait smiles at me,��������������� |
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but the light in your eyes is gone. |
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I smile at the world, |
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but the light in my life is gone.�� |
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Sunlight on leaves, and I think of you, |
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The blue sky mirrors your eyes, |
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The golden wheat tousles like your tresses,���� |
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The music of water mimics your voice, |
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The wind in the grass whispers your name. |
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I did not think of you once yesterday, |
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for the first time in the year that you've been gone. |
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It was a sweet respite from heartache.�� (Ah, well.) |
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Perhaps a year from now, |
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a whole day will pass again, |
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in which I do not miss you.� |
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I had a lovely dream, |
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in which we laughed and loved, |
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It was so fair that I forgot, |
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Dreams do not last. |
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