| Hay, whatever.. |
| September 17, 2004 3:00 P.M. I think the pillows are crazy jealous now that you are here. July 22, 2004 1:54 P.M. I think of you and i feel like singing.. Soft as a rainbow like stardust and moonglow I see the love in your eyes. Like autumn leaves falling on the first light of morning It came to my surprise. True love calls just once in a lifetime why should we wait when now is the right time? Nothing can stop this love where making Nothing can stand in our way Nothing can block this road we've taken Nothing can stop us now. April 2, 2004 6:50 P.M. I guess the rose really describes love--the thorns, the fading and the bloom. - mark villones My whirling hands stay at noon Each cell of my body holds a heart And all my hearts in unison strike twelve. - stanley kunitz We love because it is the only true adventure - nikki giovanni March 21, 2004 Sunday 8:13 P.M. "Siguro pag magkasama na tayo, ikaw na ang una kong hahawakan at hahalikan sa umaga, bago lumapat ang aking mga labi sa tasa.." - Ann Magpantay March 20, 2004 Saturday 7:00 P.M. Friday and friendship blossomed Wednesday came my angel in disguise Amazing how it feels Like we've known each other forever With you there each day Who needs wings? March 11, 2004 10:18 P.M. I met the most incredible person in the world. February 27, 2004 12:18 A.M. Bittersweets by Rennie Lorca it was as if something died inside the loss of innocence, open wide the ripeness, newness of first love a lifelong ride in comfortable contentment turned into the most bitter disappointment no, left behind; never to have firsts again what a sin.. no, a shame, not mortal but the loss of the ability to begin we only manage later to simply "fall in" February 6, 2004 6:35 P.M. After a While by Veronica Shoffstall After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning And company doesn't mean security And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts And presents aren't promises And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes open With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child And you learn to build all your roads on today Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans And futures have a way of falling down in midflight And after a while you learn That even sunshine burns if you get too much So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers And you learn that you really can endure That you really are strong And that you really do have worth. * * * * * * "I'm an expert in romantic love. I've been falling in love since I was four years old. Don't kiss in a closet, kiss in front of your parents. It's worth all the ass beating. If someone doesn't love you back, leave them the hell alone. If you haven't outgrown unrequited love by age 30 there is no hope for you. Don't treat romantic love as your birthright. It's a blessing and a miracle. Don't shove someone screaming into your mold. If it isn't happening for you, love the fuck outta yourself and don't despair. Despair makes you ugly." -- Misti January 30, 2004 12:40 A.M. If death comes before you, I shall find you in another life, And if I find you before I die, Death won't make any difference. -by Akash January 29, 2004 12:30 A.M. The Big C. Nothing prepared us for this. So that October afternoon Mama told us she had cancer after a visit to the doctor, was one of the most quiet afternoons we've ever had. Sure, we've read about other people getting cancer. But it was other people, and it read like fiction. You can't imagine it ever hitting loved ones. But cancer is a thieff that creeps up on you, and you don't need a pinch to tell you that it is real. It's like a shot through the heart when it hits you. It was a trying few months for the entire family. My sister, my father, my aunts--we all tried our best to be there for Mama. It was difficult because we couldn't find the words to comfort her. If we did, the words would just leave a catch on the voice, or would remain a painful lump on the throat.. Our presence was our way of comforting her. Reassuring her that she's not alone and that we are making that fight with her. And Mama is truly a fighter. She had put on a very brave face although she couldn't see what she was fighting. She was fighting Cancer with a smile, and with her faith in God. "Let's all put it in God's hands," she'd reassure us. She was a model of strength. I am sure that throughout our waking day, before going to sleep, and even through dreamy nights we said our prayers for her recovery. Other people prayed, too. And God gave another miracle. "God must really love me because I thought I would only have one shot at a miracle, and that was when I had both of you," she said. My mom is recovering from the big C. Friends say she doesn't look like she had Cancer. I guess it's because she never truly let it take over her life. Now, she can go to the mall with us; she'd buy hair dye (yes, she still has a shockful of hair). She's always game for a stroll, smiling, never lacking the spring in her walk. We are grateful for the miracle of life. God has way of breaking us to make us whole again, a TV evangelist said. How true. * * * * * * Quote: "Time doesn't heal wounds. It just makes the heart numb so it won't hurt like the first time." - Chel. December 22, 2003 5:48 P.M. "At my wise and wizened age, I can already tell you that life will be a limping, constant country song of heartbreaker, heartbroken, heartbreaker, heartbroken, heart failure. If it were my birthday, I'd blow out my candles and wish for inner peace. As it is, I'll simply take some Advil and get on with my day. " - Brooke Tarnoff December 21, 2003 12:30 A.M. Its been drizzling in Cebu for the past two days. Wonderful soft rain outside. Me curled up in bed. Perfect. I had to grab a pen and start writing: After the rain the clouds do part to let the sun peek; warm rainbow smiles on a drenched soul. * * * * Yehey, four days before Christmas!!! Fuente is all lit up, even the pine trees lining the little islands on the road are going blink-blink. I'm pretty excited about this particular Christmas, it being my first Christmas after two years away from home. Nothing beats noche buena and gathering round the table with the family on Christmas eve. Enjoy the holidays, people. Did you ask Santa for anything special this year? : - ) * * * * Sometimes to surrender requires more strength than to fight. - sarasehee November 7, 2003 1:33 P.M. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. - ladyinwaiting. * * * I saw this episode over local tv about a week ago. I didn't quite catch the entire story (switched on the tv over half-way through the episode) . Anyway, it was a true-to-life drama about this blind girl who is suffering from some sort of sickness (I'm guessing a kidney disorder or leukemia) since she has to have dialysis five times a day. Then one day, she talks to this priest over the radiowaves. She tries to sound brave. He sounds supportive. She tells him she has to have dialysis five times. "A week?" he asks. "No, five times a day," she clarifies. While anyone else could have started on a tirade of technical, personal, insensitive queries, the priest asked instead, "Well, will you still have time to play, my child?" November 6, 2003 3:34 P.M. A nice entry lifted off someone's e-diary. The poetry of the heart always amazes me.. "I confess I love her so much I absolutely ache. I try to forget it, push it down around and away because in the world of logic, it makes absolutely no sense. She's too far away. I'm here, she's there. There's a world in between us. I've never really lived with her, how do I know I really love her? I've never been really alive without her, how could I not love her? I confess I'm having strong urges to run off to minneapolis and cook casseroles. I'm contemplating betty crocker. I'm pricing uhauls. I would very very much like to carve a pumpkin this weekend and make a nice fall table arrangement. I'm considering planting marigolds. I confess I love her. I confess I ache." October 11, 2003 12:10 A.M. Life isn't fair sometimes. Good people get cancer. Good intentions become warped. Love is lost over fear. Pride gets in the way. Words don't come out right or don't come out at all. Friendships wither away and die. Inspiration leaves you. You've fallen; your knees are bleeding and they've run out of Band-Aid , and other unthinkable calamities that seem to make it their mission to find their way into your life, thank you very much. Welcome to the bullpit. June 17, 2003 05:08 A.M. Writing poetry can make you feel better. I'm reading this boxed story in the tabloid and that's what it says. Apparently, researchers have been busy tagging cases, and they've found out that 70% of those who were feeling depressed felt better after writing poems. It has got to do with confronting emotions and all that stuff you have to sift through in life. Dr. Robin Philipp, of Bristol Royal Infirmary, commented on the 196 chronic depression sufferers he had studied for over six years: "Poetry helped them articulate disordered thoughts." June 6, 2003 11:09 A.M. My sister had her eyebrows shaped for my cousin's wedding two days ago. She said there was almost pandemonium at first (at the wedding and over the eyebrows). An hour before the wedding, they were whisked off to some beauty parlour. By the end of the beauty-makeover, she had on two super thin eyebrows-- the gay beautician got carried away, and they were running late. Luckily (or unluckily), the bride momentarily lost her way to the church, so the ceremony was delayed a bit. Weddings, weddings. Reminds me of this song by the Dixie Chics: When my momma says I look good in white, I'm gonna be.. ready to run! May 20, 2003 2:57 A.M. Aargh!!! I haven't been fast enough to dodge that dang writer's block! I've just been sitting in front of the PC all night, this week; doing nothing but staring at the monitor. Brain dead, and the deadlines are piling up. Gaaad!!! If only words could be willed to appear on the screen.. May 12, 2003 11:25 A.M. I overslept today, but I still feel groggy. I'm trying to think myself into bouncing back with energy. Somehow it's not working. Mr. Suneja, a yoga guru based in Sharjah, U.A.E., told me in an interview recently that you can actually "talk" your subconscious into achieving something. I think "Repetitive Suggestion" is the term. Focus on a single thought. Difficult, what with the phone setting off at random. Hmm.. let's try it anyway.. I'm awake. I'm awake. I'm awake.. I'm aw.. I wonder if someone has already invented prop sticks for eyelids. You know, when you can barely keep your eyelids open, you just put them on.. anyway, where were we? Arnold H. Glasow, this mysterious author of wonderful quotes, said this: Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." Can I just spontaneously combust for now? May 11, 2003 01:47 P.M. Mother's Day today! I called Mama on the cellular phone. She said was out enjoying a serving of halo-halo with Mommy. Mmm.. May 10, 2003 9:01 A.M. "Ron, broom, sacked, house-elf, new, teacher, dies, sorry." Can you figure it out? These are a series of one-word clues to the plot of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix . Author J.K. Rowling gave away the clues on a postcard. The book will be up for sale worldwide on June 21. Apparently, distribution has been so guarded because Rowling didn't want any leakage (suspense, suspense!). The orange-covered book runs up to 768 pages and 38 chapters, and weighs at around 0.92 kilos. It is the longest children's storybook in existence. 3:01 P.M. When I think of Latin, I remember Nang Senyang's incomprehensible babble. Incantations that are supposed to ward off evil spirits. Here's a Latin commentary on love. I wonder if this wards off heartaches? Poem 85 by Catullus Odi et amo quare id faciam fortasse requiris nescio sed fieri sentio et excrucior I hate and love Why I do this, perhaps you ask. I know not, but I feel it happening and I am tortured. April 21, 2003 11:36 A.M. Burning Stone is sheer poetry. From the first time I read it, until now, it still has the same effect on me. I wonder where Anne gets her inspiration.. Late Lament by Wolfscreamer. He really knows how to scream. Picked this up at loveblender.com. Lots of poetic people there, by the way. April 20, 2003 9:31 A.M. I remember when I was about five or six years old, Mommy, my aunt, bought me two pairs of Maya birds. I had always wanted a pair . They were in this small, wooden birdcage that I often see with vendors lining up outside the church in Sto. Rosario. I thought the birds were cute. Then, one of the seminarians, who were on some sort of retreat in her place (there were around 20 of them, and they'd stay in her house for a month or so), said he was going to show me magic. He took the birdcage and led me outside. We were standing under the Santol tree. "Look, I'm going to let them out the cage, and I'm going to catch them again," he said. I said okay. He opened the little door and out came the little brown birds. They just flew away. The seminarian just smiled at me. We didn't say a word. I knew it was impossible for him to catch them, but I thought it was a good magic to let them go anyway. �2003 Writer's Block. All rights reserved. |
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