** I don’t own the Troopers, so don’t sue me, besides I’m broke due to the DJ‘s I keep buying ... WARNING! This may contain any of the following: Adult themes/Yaoi/Graphic Sex/Strong Language/Violence/Non Consensual Sex. (Did I hit them all?) **

By Wildefyre

>>>>> The words are to a song called “Just One Smile” by Sheena Easton. <<<<<

Separate Lives

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“Moshi moshi, Date residence.”

[“Seiji? Please don’t hang up, give me a chance to speak...”] Touma held his breath hoping that this time Seiji would actually talk to him. He had called many times over the past few weeks and it always yielded the same results. Seiji hanging up on him as soon as he heard his voice.

“Touma you have got to stop calling here all the time. My grandfather is starting to question the nature of these phone calls. If he knew they were from you, he would be furious and you know that.” Seiji sighed knowing full well that Touma wasn’t about to listen to reason. This was why he would always hang up on the archer as soon as he heard his voice. He hated doing it, but for his own sanity he had to. Not to mention he still had to win his grandfather’s respect back and this was not the way to do it.

[“Jeez Seiji you’re a big boy now or did you forget? Your family is treating you like a child and you are allowing it to continue. You have the right to make decisions about your own life without their interference yet you choose not to. Why?] As soon as the words left his lips he regretted saying them. He just couldn’t help the sarcasm lately. Shutting his eyes tightly he waited for the sound he had come to know so well. The familiar click of the phone being hung up rather harshly. When it didn’t come he let the breath he had been holding in one quick whoosh.

“Listen Touma if you called just to make smart assed remarks, then I may as well hang up rather then waste my time like this.” Seiji was agitated and in the past he would have done just that... Hang up. This time though he remained on the phone and he knew all too well why. He missed Touma.

He missed the archer’s voice but most of all he missed that gentle touch, the soft kisses and the passion they always shared during lovemaking. No baka! It’s over stop doing this to yourself! You can’t turn back time. Life will never be as it once was and that’s that. Get over it and move on. He tried to remind himself.

[“I’m sorry Seiji just please don’t hang-up. Don’t hang up on me again... I can’t take that anymore. It tears my heart out every time you do that. Don’t you care at all? Do you hate me that much Seiji?”] Touma’s voice cracked and he knew Seiji had to know he was crying.

Sighing softly he winced at Touma‘s words. How he wanted to just tell the archer that his heart was being torn out as well, but he didn‘t dare. To do that would only make matters worse. “Of course I care Touma, don’t be foolish. You’re my best friend and I care about all my friends. What did you call about anyway?”

Seiji pinched the bridge of his nose he was getting a headache and his heart sank at the sound of Touma’s voice, it sounded so much sadder then he had ever remembered. I’m sorry Touma but this is how it must be for now on. He thought to himself.

[“I need to see you Seiji. Please? It’s been too long and I miss you.”] He had lost his battle with the tears right from the start and still they slid down his cheeks. Was that all he was to Seiji now? A friend? No it couldn’t be, Seiji may be good at hiding emotions, but he couldn’t just wipe them out of his heart so easily and so quickly. He had to be hiding behind his wall that was all there was to it.

“Touma, I don’t think that’s such a good idea and you know it. In fact I know it’s not. It would be a mistake for you and for me. I‘m sorry.” Seiji knew Touma was crying he could feel the tears even though he had severed their link quite a while ago. Don’t cry Touma. Please don’t cry. I know you’re hurting but so am I Touma... So am I.

[“Please Seiji. I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss seeing your eyes and hearing you laugh. I miss what we had I can’t help it Seiji. I love you and I will always love you.”] Touma had tried to hide the fact that he was crying, but he knew Seiji could tell and that angered him.

He didn’t like showing his weaknesses especially now, and to Seiji of all people. Damn it I sound like such a weakling. I’m telling Seiji to grow up and I’m the one acting like the baby.

“God Touma why are you doing this? I know it’s been hard on you and all because it hasn’t been easy for me but this is the way it must be now. You have got to stop doing this to yourself; it’s not healthy.“ Seiji paused a moment to collect his thoughts. “Listen, I think I hear my grandfather coming back from the Dojo, (he lied) I really should hang up before he sees me on the phone.”

Seiji felt his own eyes watering up and that was the real reason he needed to end this conversation and soon. No I promised myself that the crying was over with. I can’t change the past. I can’t make it all better now.

[“Seiji, do me this one favor? Please? Meet me in that park you like near the Dojo, tomorrow night at nine, okay? I’ll meet you at that spot where we would always hang out at, where all the Sakura trees are. I’m sure you remember that place. I’m drive up tomorrow afternoon. Please Seiji?”] His heart was racing as fast as his tears fell.

“Touma you have got to stop this, you need to get over me and move on with your life. I’m sorry but I have a responsibility to my family now. Please try and understand. I‘m sorry that things turned out this way, I truly am. Let go of the past Touma-san... It‘s time.” Tears began to fall down the swordsman’s cheeks.

Glancing around the room quickly, he saw that he was alone and so he didn’t even bother to wipe them away, rather he allowed them the freedom to fall. So much for that promise...

[“I do understand Seiji, I really do. I just need to see you, it‘s been so long. Please let me see you one last time Seiji? Please? I’m begging you! I’ll be there at nine and I pray that you will too. Seiji? Before I go I just want you to know that I’ll always love you no matter what.”] Touma couldn’t take the silence coming from the other end any longer so he softly placed the phone back on the receiver. He couldn’t bear to hear Seiji turn him down, not now. Just be there Seiji, please don’t hurt me anymore.

Lying down on the bed, Touma reached for the picture sitting on the nightstand, which happened to be one of his favorites. “God Seiji, we were so happy then, we had our new home and our love. We thought it would get us through what ever came our way. You said that that was all you needed. You said your love for me was strong enough to withstand any test life threw our way. What happened? All I know now is that I miss you so much Seiji... My life is meaningless without you in it.”

Tears stung his eyes as he cried. Once again he was alone and he wasn’t so sure he could live like this for much longer. Holding the photo to his heart he cried like he had done every night since Seiji had left. Closing his eyes he allowed his tears to lull him to sleep as his thoughts drifted to the blond swordsman he had given all those years of his life to.

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“Touma? TOUMA! Oh god don’t do anything stupid! I’ll be there Touma... I promise, I’ll be there. Even though it goes against my better judgment, I’ll be there.” Seiji hung up the phone and walked sadly up to his bedroom. Reaching into his pillowcase he pulled out the photo he had tucked inside and his fingers began to lightly trace the faces that smiled back at him.

The photo was one that Nasuti had taken of Touma and him on the day they had moved into their home. That in itself had been a major advancement in their relationship... Buying a house together.

//They had looked at quite a few before finally seeing that one and as soon as they drove up to it, he and Touma knew immediately that that was it... The house of their dreams. It had felt so right to both of them, and this was before they had even stepped into the interior of the place.//

Glancing back at the picture, he sighed. They had been so happy back then, so very happy. I’m so sorry Touma... I wish it could be different, I really do. As much as it pains me to know you’re hurting, this is where my life is now. It’s where it has to be. Tightly clutching the photo he fell down onto his bed and cried softly.

He knew he would always love Touma. Forever would the archer retain a major part of his heart and his soul but he had made a promise to his family and he had to honor that now. Rolling onto his side, Seiji curled himself into a tight ball and wept. No one was home yet, no one would see his tears as they fell, no one would see the pain his broken heart inflicted on him and no one would know how much he regretted this decision. No one but himself that is and he had to live with it now. He had to endure the pain and heartache he could feel weighing heavy on his soul... Alone.

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“Come on man, please show up.... Don’t do this to me Seiji.” Touma paced nervously up and down the path, checking his watch and noting that his and Seiji’s appointed meeting time was over a half-hour ago. “Damn! Seiji is always prompt.” Giving a quick glance in all directions Touma plopped solemnly down on a bench, pulling his coat tighter around him and hoping Seiji would show up.

He had driven all the way to Sendai just for this visit, excited that after six weeks his former lover had finally caved in and agreed to meet with him. He had missed Seiji tremendously and wanted nothing more then to see him. Life was nothing short of miserable for him since that day Seiji walked out of his life. He never knew just why Seiji had left or what had really happened at Ryo and Nasuti’s to cause all of this... What hurt the most was that Seiji had never told him goodbye.

//He could still hear Ryo and Nasuti telling him Seiji had left him. Oh sure, they tried their best to break it to him gently, but how do you comfortably pad news like that? It was too much for his system to take. He knew he had collapsed and spent the next 3 days in the hospital, though a lot of it was a blur.

Seiji had been told about it but except for sending a Get Well Card... He never came to see him. That really hurt him and made him believe that Seiji never truly cared. He just couldn’t believe that his lover would turn his back on him like that but that is exactly what Seiji had done.

Sure the guys, Nasuti, Lorelei and Ming had rallied around him, helping him to get through it but it wasn’t working. His heart was broken and there was only one person, one man who could put it back together. Seiji no longer wanted him though; he had made that point clear enough to him.//

He felt the first few tears swell in his eyes and cursed himself for it. “Shit I cry more now as an adult then I ever did as a child.... What has gotten into me? Need I ask? Seiji... That’s what. Seiji brought this sensitive side out of me and now he’s abandon me so I can deal with it on my own. Thanks a lot Seiji.”

Still it didn’t stop him from wishing, hoping and pining for the man he so adored. How he longed for Seiji’s gentle touch and soothing words, they always seem to help him whenever he was sad. “Maybe if I concentrate real hard I can pretend he’s here helping me now... Soothing away the pain. Yeah right Touma, aren’t we the fool? Stubborn to the very end as usual.”

Bringing his knees up to his chest, he laid his head down and softly sobbed. Please don’t do this to me Seiji. Show me that you do care even if it’s just a little. Show me by showing up... I’ll be happy with that.

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“Shit! I’m over a half-hour late! Why did that class have to run so late!” Looking at his watch, Seiji rushed into the park, heading for the spot where he would find Touma. He shivered slightly in the cold night air. “Please still be there. I need to know that you‘re okay Touma. You scared the living daylights out of me last night. I just wish I could have driven down there to make sure you were okay, but my family came home before I could leave.

Even though he knew this was a mistake to be here, he couldn’t help himself. He missed his ex-lover very much and while he would never admit to it he was overjoyed to be seeing him again. “Six weeks Touma, that’s how long I have had to wait till I could talk to you face to face. I’m sorry but I had to get myself under control and get help for my problems before I could allow this meeting to happen. It’s the reason I didn’t come to see you in the hospital, I couldn’t koibito... I too was hospitalized; my mental health was in jeopardy. I just hope I’m strong enough now to face you and the many shared memories.”

Looking up ahead he saw the lone figure on the bench, knees up and head down. “Oh God he’s crying, he must think I’m not coming. What have I reduced him to? Touma was always so strong and now... How could I do that to him? He’s had to deal with so much lately. Me being abducted and then hospitalized, my horrible mood swings, then I go and rape him and to put the icing on the cake, I leave him. I have been so selfish putting my family and myself first and I am sorry for that.”

At that very moment Seiji wanted nothing more then to run up to the archer, pull him into his arms and kiss away his tears. “No Seiji, bad move... Save that for your dreams now... That pillow you hold each and every night is as close as you can come now to that reality, your family has seen to that.”

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“I may as well forget it and just go home, he’s not coming. I was a fool to think he would.” Touma wiped his eyes and stood to leave. He jumped when he felt a hand touch his shoulder, spinning around his eyes met soft violet ones that were filled with a deep sadness and Touma could see it came from the heart.

“Don’t leave. I’m sorry I was late.” Seiji had reached him just as Touma was getting up. His heart went out to Touma when he had seen him wiping at the tears. “Don’t cry Touma. Please?” Without realizing what he was doing, Seiji’s fingers reached out to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

“S... Seiji!” Touma couldn’t help but smile, it felt so good to see him. Finally he was standing in front of the man who captivated his heart. Despite everything, all the heartache, the tears, the pain and turmoil... Touma knew he still loved him and most likely, he always would. “Is everything okay? You’re usually on time, nothing is wrong with your family or the Dojo is there?” Worry creased his brow as he felt soft fingers on his cheeks. God how he had missed that and on impulse he leaned into the touch.

“No everything is okay. I’m sorry for being late, the last class I was teaching ran late and until I cleaned up the gear and grabbed a shower it was already past nine. I’m sorry if I worried you.” Seiji looked into his eyes even though he knew he shouldn’t, they were just too tempting. Oh god how I want him! To kiss him, to touch him, to make love to him... that’s the only time I have ever been truly happy. I can’t though, it wouldn’t be fair to him and I know that.

“Oh that’s okay, I’m just glad that you and your family are okay.” Touma swallowed hard, it wasn’t easy concentrating with Seiji this close and those eyes staring right into his soul; not to mention his fingers were still caressing his cheeks. “Want to sit down?” He asked finally as he pointed to the bench. This isn’t going to be easy... He’s too desirable.

“Uhm how about we walk instead.” Seiji suggested finally seeing that his hands were still touching and sliding over Touma‘s face. He didn’t trust himself to sit that close to him, look what standing near him did? Besides walking would give him other distractions. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea to come here. Just looking at him has got my pulse racing and I can feel that slow burn starting. I’m in trouble, I just know it.

“Sure, whatever you want Seiji.” Touma didn’t care what they did, he was just happy to be there and to have Seiji there with him. Maybe... Just maybe we can rekindle a small spark. If nothing else I can pretend, that’s better then nothing at all I guess. After all he showed up didn’t he? That’s got to mean something.

“Touma you know you are going to have to try and move on. ( Well so much for that flicker of hope I was just wishing for.) I’m sorry and all but I have to honor my commitment to my family now.” Seiji began, his stomach twisting in knots at the words coming from his lips. He saw Touma’s smile fade and wished he hadn’t of said it. You can’t allow him to be happy just for a few minutes, can you? You truly are selfish!

“Why Seiji? Why can’t we go back to what we had?” Touma stopped to face him. God how he wanted to just pull him close and kiss the lips he had been missing. What’s stopping me? Maybe I can kiss him into rethinking this whole family duty thing? Yeah right! He’ll probably push me away and then leave me here... No I have to pick the right moment.

“Touma, you know why... I can no longer love you in that way. I’m sorry, but this is how it must be now.” Seiji could feel the sorrow filling Touma’s heart but there wasn’t anything he could do. Coward!

“Is that what you want... or what your family wants? I know I said that if you ever decided to honor your duties I would give you up, and I meant that. I just don’t think it’s what you really want to do.” Touma looked right into his eyes, he could see the shock at his boldness registering on Seiji’s face and he gave the swordsman one of his patented smirks. Hit a nerve didn’t I Seiji?

“Touma it’s what I have to do, it’s what I want now. What else must I do to prove that to you?” Seiji stared out over the pond watching the moonlight dance off its surface.

“Look me in the eyes Seiji and tell me you don’t love me! Look me in the eyes and tell me that I no longer have a place in your heart. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you no longer miss me, miss what we had and that you no longer miss us as a couple.” Touma’s dark blue eyes stared into his.

“Tell me that you no longer desire me, that you no longer want to kiss me or touch me, that you no longer want to make love to me... Tell me that Seiji and if you can then I’ll believe you and quietly walk off into the sunset, as they say.” Touma almost wished he hadn’t made that challenge, unsure about how he would take it if Seiji did do all that. I asked for it, now wait for the answer and live with it... Baka!

“Don’t Touma... Please don’t ask me to do that?” (Ha he can’t do it! There’s still hope yet!) Seiji closed his eyes. Damn you! You know me too well... I could never tell you that I no longer love you, I’m having enough trouble just keeping myself from acting on this uncontrollable urge to kiss you.

“Seiji if it’s about what happened, you have to know I forgive you. I forgave you as soon as it occurred. I begged for you to come back but you never heard me.” Touma blinked back the tears that were now wetting his eyes. He didn’t want Seiji to see him cry anymore, but it wasn’t easy.

“Maybe you never truly loved me in the first place; maybe I was just an easy lay for you. Sure let’s piss off mom, dad and grandpa by screwing the blue haired freak!” Ah hell the tears slipped past his guard and Touma quickly wiped them away.

“Touma, don’t say that... Don’t ever say that.” Seiji unconsciously reached out once again, to wipe away a tear that Touma’s hand missed. “I have a responsibility to the Dojo and to my family, you knew this day would come sooner or later.”

“I may have been able to accept it had it happened earlier in our relationship Seiji, but almost eight frigging years have passed. You have become so much a part of my life that I no longer know where I end and you begin. Doesn’t that account for something? WELL?” He choked back the sob and stared into violet eyes that were now misting over. He couldn’t help himself and leaned into the touch. Seiji’s touch was just as gentle and soft as he had remembered and it all felt too good to let go of.

“Oh god Touma why do you have to make this so damn difficult... I shouldn’t have come here. I can’t keep this up. Please just get on with your life and let me get on with mine. Please Touma I beg of you...” Seiji didn’t bother to hide the tears that slipped down over his cheeks, he didn’t want to anymore.

“If that’s what you want Seiji then I’ll do it for you and only you.” He couldn’t help himself as he reached out to swipe at the tears rolling down Seiji’s cheeks. “I’d do anything for you and you know that... I’d even die for you.” Touma said quickly before the flood gates opened and his tears flowed freely. He trembled slightly and watched as Seiji stepped closer. Touma’s thumbs kept up their light caresses. “Just give me something to cling to, something to get by with until I can stand on my own.”

“Touma listen to me right now... I don’t ever want to hear about you wanting to die! GOT THAT? I couldn’t live with myself if that happened. You have to be strong now... We both do. As for the something to cling to... I don’t know what I can do or what I could possibly give you...” Seiji hung his head, too afraid to look into his face any longer and unable to finish his thought.

“I do.” Touma closed the gap quickly before Seiji could react and pulled the swordsman into his arms and in one clean motion claimed his lips. Touma gently kissed him keeping his arms only lightly wrapped around Seiji’s waist, letting him know he was free to pull away at any time.

Seiji was completely caught off guard by Touma’s actions and at first was all set to push the archer away but the softness and warmth of the kiss felt too good to his hungry mouth. Without thinking Seiji found himself kissing Touma back with the same tenderness that Touma was showing him.

It was Touma who broke the kiss leaving Seiji breathless and without a voice. “I know I shouldn’t have done that, but I needed to Seiji, I needed to see for myself that despite everything you still cared. Now I know you do. Go home now, to your family and to your duties, forget about me and live the life your family expects from you.”

“Touma... I’m sorry... I truly am.” Seiji took a deep breath to steady himself.

“I know you are Seiji... I know.” Touma swept the hair out of Seiji’s face, tucking it behind his ear. “Now go before I find myself needing those lips of yours on mine again. Temptation is just too sweet.” Touma turned to walk away but Seiji grabbed his wrist.

“Touma? Give me something to cling to? A lasting memory of what our love was all about?” Seiji’s eyes seemed to change, the light violet became more vibrant and it just took Touma’s breath away.

“Like I said Seiji, I’d do anything for you.” Stepping back into the swordsman’s arms Touma slid his arms around Seiji’s waist as Seiji wrapped his around the archer’s waist. “A hundred years could go by Seiji and it wouldn’t change how I feel about you.” Touma whispered as their lips brushed before locking into a molten kiss.

Touma all to happily parted his lips slightly to invited Seiji in and was overjoyed when he felt the blonde’s tongue slip smoothly inside. He was slightly shocked when he felt Seiji closing all gaps between their bodies as they molded together; hungrily Seiji’s tongue explored the depth of his mouth and long skillful fingers slid slowly up and down the length of Touma’s back.

Touma didn’t want this moment to ever end, it had been too long and even though he knew in reality that it would all end soon, for now he was content to allow himself to pretend a little while longer.

Seiji’s head kept screaming to stop but his heart and body were unwilling to listen to his brain’s calling, too caught up in the heat of the moment. When Seiji felt his body responding to the kiss he pulled back and broke the kiss. Looking into Touma’s eyes he knew the signs all too well. “We have to stop this Touma-san, we can’t...” His voice was cut off as Touma devoured his mouth with his own once again.

Seiji felt his control slipping and soon he himself was kissing Touma with the same passion. Seiji reached lower to grasp Touma’s buttocks pulling him closer, afraid to let go, afraid to see the moment end. Seiji felt the old familiar spark as his and Touma’s arousals met through two layers of fabric.

Finally Touma broke off, brushing the hair from Seiji’s flushed face to plant small kisses over the exposed flesh. “I know we can’t go back.” A quick nibble on the ear produced a moan from Seiji’s throat. “ I know that Seiji, but god I want you so badly...” Touma’s lips trailed down to a smooth throat and on reflex Seiji threw his head back to allow Touma better access. “I want you in the worse possible way.” Touma’s breath heated his skin causing Seiji to shiver.

Boldly Touma pushed his hips against Seiji showing him how bad his desire had become. He knew Seiji was just as aroused, he could feel the swordsman‘s erection through his slacks. Slowly he rotated his hips in an erotic dance brushing arousal against arousal. “One last time Seiji... I know that sounds cheap, but I’d settle for that. We both want this, you can‘t deny it, I feel your desire just as you feel mine.” Touma listened as Seiji’s breathing became erratic and the swordsman started making the little noises that always signaled his growing need to be made love to.

Touma’s hands began to massage Seiji’s chest and he could sense Seiji was losing his battle to control his desire. “The last time we made love wasn’t even love, it was a rape Seiji and I don’t want that to be our last memory.” Touma reached down and stroked the bulge in the front of Seiji’s slacks, smiling when he heard Seiji gasp then moan into his blue hair. “Let me end the ache Seiji.” Touma cooed against Seiji’s neck. “We both can end our aches if you want...”

“God Touma don’t do this please don’t do this.” Seiji knew that if he didn’t get away soon he would cross that line. Touma’s ministrations were driving him closer to the edge; it all felt too good. Touma’s warm lips heated up his cool skin and when his hand touched his erection he thought for sure he would shoot his seed from it. “No, this isn’t right...” Seiji moaned. “Can’t let you... Uhnnn!”

Seiji ground his hips into Touma’s hand; he was losing the battle quickly. “God Touma stop!”

Calling upon every ounce of will power he could muster he managed to push Touma to arms length. “I’m sorry Touma... Please go home now and don’t come back.” He said breathlessly, his cheeks flushed from his desire.

“I need time before we can resume a friendship so please just leave me alone.” Seiji turned and took off down the path; his tears were whipping off his cheeks to be taken and carried off by the wind. “I love you Touma, God how I love you.”

Touma stood frozen in place tears slipped from his midnight blue eyes to caress his cheeks. “You baka! That was stupid! Damn why did I have to go and push him? I moved too damn fast! It was stupid, stupid, stupid!” Touma’s legs gave out and he fell to his knees. “I’m sorry Seiji, so sorry! Don’t leave me like this, don’t leave me...” It took several minutes before Touma had the strength to stand and finally head back to his car to begin the long lonely journey home.

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Once he was sure Touma wasn’t trying to follow him Seiji turned off the path and sat down under some trees, pulling his legs up to his chest he rested his head on them. “I wanted you too Touma, I truly did but I can’t... I can’t have you in that way any longer. It’s over... what we had is nothing more then memories now and it has to stay that way.” He started to cry again.

Seiji wasn’t sure just how long he sat there but it was long enough to allow the tears to fall and then subside. Slowly he stood and headed back to his home and the life he was now forced to live, a life that had no room for the one person who could fulfill him and make him whole. Walking into the house that sits next to the family Dojo Seiji tried to quietly make his way to his room after noticing his family had returned.

“Seiji is that you?” The sound of his grandfather’s voice called out from the living room.

“Yes grandfather, I was just going to get ready for bed. I’ll see you in the morning.” He hoped that would satisfy him.

“Seiji please come in here, I wish to speak to you.” He said. Seiji sighed knowing he would easily spot the red rimmed eyes and question him about it. Slowly walking in he saw that he was alone and he saw his eyes narrow. “Come here now!” He commanded.

“How was the tournament?” Seiji asked trying to keep his head down and avoid his gaze.

“We can talk about that in the morning. I think there’s something else that’s more important to talk about right now.” Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a photo, Seiji cringed when he recognized it. “What is the meaning of this?” He held out the photo. “I found this lying on your bed. Now explain yourself!”

“I was just looking at an old photo album, I guess that slipped out.” He didn’t like lying to his grandfather, but he couldn’t tell him the real reason it was on his bed. How could he? If his grandfather knew he slept with it tucked inside his pillowcase, there would be hell to pay and Seiji would be the one paying.

“I thought it was made clear that you were to break off all ties to this man?” He responded.

“I have grandfather.” Another lie. Damn I’m batting a thousand here. What is happening to me? I never lie to my grandfather... Have I gotten that horrible?

“Then you won’t need this anymore.” Seiji watched in shock as his grandfather tore the photo into tiny pieces. “Now we will go to your room and anything that has to do with Hashiba-san will be destroyed... After that you will meet me in the Dojo for it is obvious that you need a workout. You have become weak Seiji and we can’t have that. We can‘t have the next Date heir giving into sick desires... You will forget him and I will make sure of that.” Sensei Date spoke sternly. Seiji felt a pang of anger at his grandfather’s reference to his relationship with Touma as being sick.

“Grandfather that won’t be necessary a few pictures are all I have anymore... Please don’t do this?” Seiji stood obediently in front of him. God no don’t let this happen... Don’t take away my memories, you have taken so much all ready. Nothing has changed here, my grandfather still views me as a child, which I no longer am... Why is he doing this? I’m a grown man I shouldn’t be letting this happen. Why am I always so intimidated by him? Why?

“Are you defying me? Am I not your elder? What lessons have you been taught concerning your elders?” He stared at Seiji watching for signs he was breaking. “Answer me!”

“Yes Sir, you are my elder and I have been taught to obey my elders.” Seiji hated himself for sounding so weak.

“Very well then. Let’s go.” He made his way towards the bedrooms and Seiji followed. The next hour was spent going through everything in Seiji’s room and Seiji watched as his grandfather tore or broke anything that Seiji said was from or about Touma. Never before had Seiji felt so demeaned, he couldn’t believe that he was allowing his grandfather to do this, yet there he was.

Seiji could feel the tears welling up and had to use all his strength to keep them hidden, instead he allowed his heart to cry silently. “Maybe now you can concentrate on your duties here. I will not tolerate seeing anything further from Hashiba, is that understood?”

“Hai.” Seiji bowed to him. Seiji was shocked at the anger slowly rising within himself, anger at what his grandfather was doing, anger at how his family treated him, anger at allowing his feeling to be seen so easily. Why can’t I stand up to him? Why am I such a coward?

“Now get yourself ready and meet me in the Dojo... It’s going to be a long night Seiji-san, I hope that you’re ready.” He pushed past Seiji and left the room.

Seiji looked at the pile lying on the floor and fell to his knees, the tears he was trying so hard to control flowed freely down his cheeks. “Oh God look what he‘s done!” Seiji picked up the pieces of a figurine that Touma had given him of a Samurai Warrior in full battle gear. Seiji loved it and had cherished it immensely but now it was in pieces, shattered and broken. “Just like my heart.”

He cried for several minutes before cleaning up the mess and then slowly making his way to the Dojo. He would do what was asked of him, but he would also make sure his grandfather got no satisfaction at seeing him break. No his grandfather may have broken the things he loved, but he would not break his spirit... He would be strong now; after all he was a Date.

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Touma had begun the drive back home only after swinging by the Dojo, the lights were on and so he took the chance to look in and saw Seiji with his grandfather. It looked as though the elder Date was really putting Seiji through his paces and at such a late hour as well. Touma became worried. Could Seiji’s grandfather have found out about Seiji meeting him tonight? I’m really sorry Seiji. God I’m so sorry.

Part of Touma wanted to dash in there and make it stop, but he knew that would just make matters worse and so he got back into his car with tears in his eyes and drove away.

Touma drove about half way and had to pull over. He found himself remembering one too many memories and the tears that flowed from his eyes blurred his vision too much to see the road in front of him. Walking into a field Touma laid down and watched the stars as they danced above him. It was a cold clear night and while he was slightly chilled, he barely noticed the cold at all.

Shivering in the night air Touma got up and made his way back to his car. Hitting the road once again to eventually arrive back at a home that was empty and cold.

He wasn’t even sure why he kept the house, Seiji had already given him permission to put it up on the market after all it was he who had used money from a trust fund his parents had set up to put the down payment on the place. Seiji helped where he could but for a Doctor just starting out it wasn’t easy.

Touma wound up as the bigger breadwinner, what with his job for the observatory and his side work doing computer programs, he managed to pull in a pretty penny. He just couldn’t bring himself to sell the place, and maybe it was due to that small thread of hope he clung to... A small chance that maybe Seiji would find his way back to him and to the love they had shared for so long.

********************************************************************************

“Seiji-san that will be all for today! You have done well today and for that you may finish up early.”

“Arigato gozaimasu.” Seiji bowed to his grandfather then put away his practice sword.

“We will be having guests this evening so please look presentable.” Sensei Date instructed his grandson.

“Who Sir?” Seiji stood there with his hands at his sides as he looked at his grandfather.

“You will find out soon enough, now go and get cleaned up.”

“Hai.” Seiji bowed once more then left the Dojo for the living quarters, his mind a whirlwind as he wondered what his grandfather was up to. This had been the third day in a row that his grandfather had taken it easy on him and had even allowed him to finish practicing early. This shocked him since his grandfather hadn’t been very easy on him ever since that day he had found that photo.

“I get the feeling that whatever it is I’m not going to like it.” He said as he stepped into the shower. The heat of the water felt good as it washed over his tired muscles. Even with his grandfather going easy on him he still ached from the workout and the classes he taught.

“I never felt this sore after a day at the hospital and when I did Touma was always there to massage away the ache.” He winced at the sound of his former lover’s name as it left his lips. Even now 2 months later and his heart still ached for the blue-haired archer. “Forget it Seiji, what’s done is done.”

Still he couldn’t help it. Many times he thought about calling the archer and just letting his heart speak, but he would quickly perish the thoughts. Now he would simply write them down in a journal that he kept well hidden from the rest of the household.

********************************************************************************

“Aww come on Touma it’ll be fun!” Shu was telling his friend, trying to convince him to go to a party that Nasuti and Ryo was having in 2 weeks. “Don’t be such an old fart!”

“Shu I already told you I’m not in a partying mood. So just forget it.” Touma sighed and sat back in his chair. Bad enough Shu had drug him out of bed before noon to go to lunch, but now he was busting his hump about going to a party. A party that Seiji would be attending no less.

“It’s because Seiji is going to be there right?” Shu leaned into the table. “Maybe the party will be the kicker to get you two back together.”

“Yeah right! Not after the stupid shit I pulled that night I went up to Sendai!” He somehow got the feeling that the kiss he shared with his once upon a time lover that night was most likely his last.

“That’s just it man. Seiji knows you may be at this party yet he still told Ryo he’d be there. That tells me he may want to see you as well.” Shu was always the optimist and this drove Touma nuts. “Come on, if nothing else it’ll allow you two the chance to talk.”

“Maybe you’re right. I do love him you know. I’ve missed him so much and if I could just get him to see what I feel in my heart, maybe.... Oh who am I kidding!” Touma’s hands went up to cover his face. “It’s an illusion, he’s not mine anymore. Funny how someone who likes being in control so much is so submissive when it comes to his family.”

“Just come to the party. You owe it to Nasuti and to Ryo. Shin and Lorelei are going to be there ya know. Boy is she getting big! For someone that’s six almost seven months along she looks like she is over due by that much!” Shu gave Touma a grin that never failed to get a laugh out of the archer and true to form Touma began chuckling.

Okay...Okay you win. I’ll go but I’m only staying long enough to be polite.” Touma glared at Shu and then smiled. “Who knows maybe Seiji and I can at least reestablish our friendship? Right now I would settle for just that. Oh and Shu... I wouldn‘t talk that way around Lors unless you no longer have a need for your balls.” Touma laughed at the look Shu gave him.

“That’s the spirit.” Shu smiled. He and Ming had talked to Ryo and Nasuti earlier and then with Shin and Lorelei, all six were determined to bring sunlight back into the sky, and that could only be accomplished by getting the two in the same room.

********************************************************************************

Seiji tiredly sat down in the bench, rubbing his temples he cursed under his breath. “How can woman stand to do this so much!” He looked around at the hordes of people that filled the mall he was in. He had just spent the most of the day searching each store for a gift and now all he wanted to do was go home.

He rarely went shopping in fact his feet only stepped inside a mall on 2 occasions a year, to buy gifts for Christmas and New Years, and for birthdays. Usually he went to specialty shops not found in such a commercialized venue as this.

Seiji’s idea of shopping was to go to a store buy birthday gifts for the whole year and then hand them out as needed. Same with any other holiday. “This is a woman’s thing... It certainly isn’t mine!”

“Except for Touma.” He found himself saying. Seiji would always wait to get Touma a gift, using the time to think of something he knew would touch the archer. He frowned as he thought about the last gift that he had given him. The book of poetry. “God I’m so sorry Touma, I really meant ever word I wrote. You were so happy that day. I truly thought that you and I would be together for a lifetime.”

“Fancy meeting you here Blondie!” Seiji looked up to see Shu’s big grin sparkling down at him. Then his breath caught in his throat as Touma stepped forward and nodded at him.

“Shu, Touma... Konnichiwa.” Seiji felt himself tremble slightly as he recalled the last meeting he had had with Touma.

“So what brings you to the jungle? Stocking up on gifts for the year?” Touma asked hoping his excitement wouldn’t show in his voice. He did frown a little when he saw the tension in Seiji’s face.

“Yeah. You know me, get it all done at once. What are you two up to?” He asked. He was having a hard time avoiding Touma’s gaze. Even now his eyes reduce you to putty. Will it ever stop?

“Oh I decided to drag Touma out for the day.” Shu spoke up. “The guy has been hiding away in that house for too long!” He added.

“Oh so you decided to keep the house. That’s nice.” Seiji’s eyes locked on Touma’s. Damn that look! If only you knew what it does to me Touma.

“Yes I did. I guess I couldn’t bring myself to selling it....” His voice trailed off and Touma watched as a slight smile came to the blonde’s lips. How I have missed that smile Seiji... So warm. I wish I could tell you how I much I have missed you.

“Well if you ever do, don’t worry about me... It’s your house now Touma-san.” Seiji felt the tug at his heart. He was happy to know Touma hadn’t sold the house they had searched together for. Their dream home, the one they had hoped to build a lifetime of memories in. We even had hoped to raise kids in that house. His last thought made him frown and he looked at the bags that sat near his feet.

“So uhm Seiji, are you going to Ryo and Nasuti’s big blowout?” Shu asked and caught the look Touma sent him. He then got the mental thought Touma sent as well.

>> “Don’t even think about it Shu or I won’t go!” <<

( “ Relax Touma, I won’t embarrass you.” )

“Oh I don’t know Shu; maybe I should just cancel the invitation.” Seiji looked to the ground. I don’t know if I can handle the memories from that house. He thought.

“Oh come on man! Everyone is going to be there. Plus you don’t want to hurt Nasuti’s feelings now do you? Shin and Lorelei are going as well, and according to Shin, Lorelei is excited about it.” Shu was determined to change the swordsman’s mind. “She said she was really hoping to see you... She missed not hearing from you.”

Seiji winced at that. Thanks for the guilt trip Shu. Seiji knew he was intentionally avoiding Lorelei, and for good reason too. Lorelei was one of the few, besides Touma, who could see through his facade and he didn’t want her to see that he still had deep feelings for Touma. Damn... Now what?

“If it helps any, Shu has put me on the same guilt trip about Lors.” Touma smiled when he noticed the look on Seiji’s face. “It’ll be a blast! Bring a date if you want!” That got both men looking at Touma.

>> “Are you out of your fucking mind!” << Shu sent.

( “Maybe but it’s what Seiji wants... If this helps to ease the tension then so be it. I have to let go sometime.” ) Touma sent; then looked to Seiji. “So will ya be there buddy?” Touma reached out to touch his arm on reflex. God just to touch you is enough for me right now.

“Well I guess I shouldn’t disappoint anyone, besides it would be rude of me to back out now, considering I already told them that I would be there.” Seiji felt the warmth of Touma’s touch and wished he had kept his coat on. Oh to have those hands on me again, God Touma your touch is just as magical.

“Thanks Seiji.” Touma smiled then realized he still had a hold of Seiji’s arm and quickly released it. He could have sworn he heard a disappointing moan from Seiji when he did so, but shrugged it off as wishful thinking.

“I really must be going. It was nice seeing you again Touma... You too Shu.” Seiji felt so empty all of a sudden.

“Yeah it sure was.” Touma looked at him with eyes that bore the pain of another parting. Sure wish you would stay a little longer. I have so missed those eyes, that smile and your sweet touches, but those are a memory now. I’ll just take what you gave today and be happy with that.

Seiji picked up his bags and after saying his goodbyes headed for the closest exit. He needed to get to the safety of his car and quickly. Damn you Touma! Damn you heart! He said as a single tear slipped from his eye to cascade down his cheek.

“What the hell am I doing? I should just stay home and forget about this party!” Touma cursed as he pulled into the driveway leading to what was now the Sanada residence. “No then I would have everyone on my ass for weeks. A pissed off Nasuti is not a pretty sight, and I sure as hell don’t want to see it! Poor Ryo would have to endure her wrath and I can‘t put even wildfire through that.”

As he got closer he saw that there were quite a few cars parked around the grounds and it shocked him. “A small get together huh? What did they do...Invite the whole city of Toyama?”

Pulling into a space he scanned the cars looking for ones he knew. “Well Shin and Lorelei are here.” He couldn’t help but laugh at the hand painted wheel cover on the back of Shin’s vehicle. It had several fish as well a whale and a dolphin on and a few lines from some Disney movie Shin loved. “What was that movie again? ‘Little Mermaid’ that’s it!”

Touma smiled at the thought then noticed Shu’s van and he also recognized a few cars belonging to instructors from the University.

The one car he didn’t see was Seiji’s and he let out a disappointing sigh. “Well it’s early yet, and he does have a six-hour drive from Sendai.” Touma walked up to the door and rang the bell. It was Ryo who greeted him as he flung his arms around the archer and hugged him.

“Glad you could make it Touma. Come on it, Shin, Lorelei, Shu and Ming are already here.” Ryo stepped aside and then took Touma’s coat to hang up in the hall closet.

“Oh this is for you.” Touma handed him a bottle of wine that he knew Ryo and Nasuti loved.

“Hey thanks man, you didn’t have to you know.” Ryo smiled. “Wow it’s amazing how good you have gotten at choosing wines. Must have been Seiji’s doing.” Ryo winced as he realized what he had just said. Touma noticed this and smiled.

“Yeah Seiji did bring a little sophistication into my life, didn’t he?” Touma put his hand on Ryo’s shoulder. “I’m cool about it all, don’t act like you have to walk around on eggshells for fear of hurting my feelings. Time to move on as they say.”

“God Touma I just wish there was more we could do... It’s so unfair.” Ryo frowned.

“Who said life is fair? We’re dealt a hand, we play it... sometimes we win... sometimes we lose. I lost, no biggie.” He was glad when Ryo finally broke into a smile.

“The others are in the living room. I’ll take this to the kitchen and let Nasuti know you are here.” Ryo’s whole face smiled as Touma walked into the living room. It felt so odd being here like this, without Seiji.

/// Memories seemed to flood his mind; so many were made in this place, some good, some not so good. He and Seiji’s first kiss, the first time they made love, the day they had finally told the others about their relationship. He frowned a little at that one.

Shu had had the hardest time accepting it, in fact he damn near broke Touma’s nose when he had punched him. “Faggot!” He had screamed before belting him. “You did this to him you blond headed bastard!” Shu got virtually nose to nose with Seiji who didn’t so much as flinch. No Seiji just stood his ground, violet eyes glaring and that smirk on his lips.

“Shu stop it! I’m sorry that this is such a shock to you, but I love Seiji and if you can’t accept him... Then I guess we don’t have as good of a friendship as I had suspected.” Touma yelled as Shin and Nasuti tried to stop the flow of blood from his nose. Ryo was trying to keep a fight from breaking out. “Please Shu!” Touma pleaded.

“Don’t worry I’m not about to touch him, I don’t want my hands tainted!” Shu said then ran out of the house. It took several weeks for Shu to start coming around. Later he had told Touma that he was sorry and that when he saw how happy Seiji made him, it had changed his whole attitude. Even so Shu was always keeping his eyes open, making sure that Seiji did nothing to hurt Touma. The few times that Seiji did make Touma cry... Seiji paid for it, big time. ///

“Earth to Touma... Come in Touma.” Touma shook himself out of the daydream to see Shu standing in front of him. “You okay buddy?” He asked as he put his arm around the archer’s shoulders.

“Huh? Oh yeah I’m fine. Guess I must have zoned out for a minute there. Sorry about that.” Touma smiled and walked with Shu to where the others were.

“That’s okay. Hey Ryo talked to Seiji this morning and he is indeed going to be here. He had just finished up with a morning workout in the Dojo and was heading in for shower. Ryo said he sounded kind of sad... Maybe you can help cheer him up?” Shu grinned and was rewarded with an elbow to his side. “What was that for?” He looked at his buddy.

“You just won’t let it rest will you.” Touma said, trying to look angry while holding back a smile that was starting to curl on the outside of his lips.

“Nope! I refuse to give up! By the end of the night Seiji is going to see just how much he needs you in his life or my name isn’t Shu Lei Fan.” Shu laughed and watched as Touma now sported a full smile.

“You are impossible!” Touma laughed and walked over to Ming, greeting her with a kiss to the cheek he smiled. “How do you put up with him all the time?” Touma reached down to kiss Lorelei and shake Shin’s hand. He patted Lorelei’s belly lightly and smiled.

“I don’t. If he gets too bad I go visit mom and dad.” She winked and then squealed when Shu grabbed her, dipped her down and kissed her. “Shu there are people watching!” She blushed a bright red and swatted at his arm.

“So?” He grinned. “Hey Touma remember when Seiji did that to you at that one New Years Eve party? The one where those girls were all hitting on Seiji. That was hilarious man.” He turned to Ming to explain.

“These four girls were clinging to Seiji almost all night. Poor Seiji, he was trying so hard to be polite but they were unrelenting. Seiji finally had had enough of their groupie antics and with a growl strode over to Touma, grabbed him, dipped him down and kissed him so passionately that it had everyone swooning!” Shu was laughing really hard. “Then he turned to them and said. ‘Meet my date ladies.’ It was unreal!”

“Those girls weren‘t swooning though.” Ryo laughed as he and Nasuti walked over to them. “The looks on their faces were priceless.”

“Ewwwww He’s gay! Ewwww!” Shu mocked placing his hands on his cheeks and dancing around in little circles. “He was so cute too! I think I’m going to faint!” His hand went up to his forehead and he fell back onto the sofa.

Everyone in the room burst into laughter including Touma. He remembered the incident well. It was the first time Seiji had ever kissed him in front of others and while it was meant to send a message to the girls, it had Touma’s knees feeling like jelly.

“Oh and how about the look on Touma’s face! God Touma you looked so stunned.” Shu said between fits of laughter.

“Stunned? I was in la la land. Then again Seiji could always do that to me! All I remember is thinking Shit he’s going to remember this tomorrow and kick himself for being so forward in public, then I’m going to have to deal with a moping blond all day.” Touma laughed. On the inside though his heart hurt. How can I forget you when there are so many memories you gave to me Seiji? I’m trying but it’s so hard especially when others recall them as well.

“You mean he was plastered?” It was Shin who looked at them shocked. “Our Seiji-san drunk? No frigging way!”

“Shin you watch your language!” Lorelei said then laughed when Shin gave her a sad sack look. “Oh what the hell! Go-ahead Touma enlighten us.” Shin looked at her and started to laugh.

“Well not totally plastered, but enough. We were finally all of legal drinking age. Seiji could have gone out drinking anytime but he later told me he never had the desire to do so. I guess those girls got to him and he started downing drinks, plus he had a lot on his mind then as well.” Touma told them. “He was set to leave for Sendai in a few days, remember? This was just after we hooked up so it had only been two months into our relationship.”

“Awww he was going to miss you? Wasn’t he? Seiji does have a soft side.” Ryo cooed and Nasuti punched him in the arm. “Youch! That hurt.”

“Serves you right Lava boy! Be nice to Touma-san or us women will make you guys pay!” Nasuti looked around the room; all the guys knew just what she meant by her statement. “You guys are too much! Listen I have other guests I should mingle with. Touma a lot of people are here from the university, wanna join me?” Nasuti smiled. “There’s food in the kitchen as well.”

“Now you’re speaking my language.” Touma laughed and took Nasuti’s arm. “I shall return!” He waved to them over the top of his head and headed off with Nasuti.

“Hmm food is good.” Shu rubbed his hands together and began to stand.

“Oh no you don’t! You just ate a few minutes ago. You can wait awhile.” Ming said as she pulled him back onto the sofa.

********************************************************************************

Touma found himself along with Nasuti engrossed in a complex conversation with some university professors several of which he knew quite well. Nasuti turned to a figure that entered the kitchen.

“Oh Keely come here a minute.” Nasuti smiled. Touma turned to see a woman walk into the kitchen with short blonde hair. Her eyes were a pale blue/gray almost violet in nature and her smile seemed to light up the room. He felt the color draining from his cheeks as he watched her.

Holy shit a female Seiji! Touma thought to himself and had he not known any better, would have thought it really was the swordsman in drag. Now that would be funny! Seiji in a dress. She was about his height and the hairstyles were very similar though hers wasn’t as full bodied. Touma felt his stomach twisting in knots and quickly downed his beer.

“Sorry I’m late but I got stuck with a flat tire. Luckily a nice gentleman and his wife helped me to change the tire. Poor guy. Looked like he was dressed to the nines too. I offered to pay for the dry cleaning but he just shrugged it off.” She smiled and then looked at Touma. “Wow love the hair!” She said. “Do tell me it’s natural?”

“Yup one hundred percent so. Kind of weird I know, but it’s hereditary so I’m stuck with it.” He couldn’t help but smile at her she seemed so easy going and well he couldn’t help but notice it, she was pretty. It’s just because she looks like Seiji so knock it off ding-a-ling. Hey if I can’t have the real thing... substitutions will have to do.

“Oh but it’s not weird, it’s very attractive! I adore it!” She smiled again and this time her eyes met his and locked. Touma swallowed hard. God that’s the same look Seiji would give me. This is just too weird I need another beer!

“Keely this is Hashiba Touma. Touma, this is Keely Maxwell. Keely just moved here from the states.” Nasuti said. She couldn’t help but notice the look Touma was giving her friend. Then it dawned on her... Oh my god, what am I thinking! It was Ryo who had pointed out to her that Keely looked an awful lot like Seiji. Oh Nasuti you are such a baka at times!

“Konnichiwa Hashiba-san.” She extended her hand to him.

“Konnichiwa.” Touma bowed slightly then shook her hand.

“Keely is my new assistant and a blast to have around. I’m glad that someone came along to help you. You could have called here you know. Ryo would have come out to help you.” Nasuti said as she hugged her friend.

“Oh I was about to actually. I felt sorry for that guy though, his wife insisted they go find a place so he could change. He didn’t look too dirty though, just a few smudges here and there and one little one on his suit jacket.” She explained. The woman was a real nag too. “We’re going to be late dear. Let her call a tow truck dear. Now you’re dirty dear... This time I insist you wear the robes I bought you dear.” Honestly!” Her laugh was light and sweet. Touma found it very pleasing to say the least.

“Isn’t that the way wives are supposed to act?” Touma asked playfully. He cringed though when Nasuti shot daggers at him with her stare. “Uh no offense Nasuti.” He finished off his beer and grabbed another.

“No! Not at all! At least not the nice ones! I know I could never be like that.” She stood in front of him, hands on hips and stared him down. “Let me see your left hand!” She held out her hand.

“Nani?” Touma looked at her quite puzzled.

“Let me see your left hand.” She stated again. Touma lifted his left hand up and she took hold of it. “Just as I thought. Not married! You’ve been listening to too many myths my boy.” She studied his palm it was slightly callused but soft just the same. “You obviously use your hands quite a bit.” Her thumb rubbed a spot on his palm where a larger callus laid.

Touma shivered at her touch. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the fact that he was feeling a little lonely but whatever it was it felt good. His midnight blue eyes sparkled as he looked into her eyes.

“Touma does a lot of archery in fact he use to compete in tournaments.” Nasuti spoke up when she noticed Touma’s nervousness.

“Cool! I haven’t done any archery since I was a teen. So how well did you do in the tournaments?” She asked.

“I did pretty well I guess. I haven’t competed in years.” Touma smiled. He was surprised that he was enjoying the conversation, and her company. He especially enjoyed the way her touch was so soft and warm... Like Seiji’s.

Before he knew what was happening he and Keely were lost in conversation. Touma still wasn’t sure if it was due to her resemblance to Seiji or simply the fact that she was interesting. The conversation jumped to astronomy and Touma’s eyes lit up over her knowledge of the skies.

Nasuti just smiled at the two, they were talking like long lost friends but she did feel a little uneasy. My god it’s like Touma and Seiji sitting there! Put a suit on Keely and you have Seiji without a doubt! All of a sudden she regretted introducing the two. Touma wants to forget and here I am throwing him together with a Seiji look-a-like. Good one Nasuti! Oh well, what‘s done is done, I just hope Touma‘s okay with this, he had to have noticed the resemblance. I don’t want to see Keely hurt either... Maybe I should pull her aside later and explain things... Maybe I should talk to Touma and see what his intentions are... Maybe I should just butt out of other people’s lives.

Just then she heard the doorbell. “Hey Keely, Touma, excuse me please. I need to go and do some hostessing.” She flashed then a smile then darted out of the kitchen, leaving Touma and Keely to resume their talk.

After a few minutes Touma stood up and offered his arm. “Come on I want to introduce you to my friends.” He smiled. “We’re a rag tag bunch but we’re a happy group none the less.” He grinned at her causing her to giggle.

“If you are referring to crazy man Ryo...Well we’ve met already.” She giggled slightly.

“Crazy man huh?” Touma looked at her as he arched his eyebrow and Keely thought it was the cutest thing she had ever seen.

When Touma walked into the living room all eyes turned to him and none of them looked happy. Touma felt like he was about to be led to his execution with the way they were looking at him and it made him slightly uneasy.

“What? You would think someone has died with the looks you’re giving me.” That’s when Touma got the weirdest feeling that maybe he should have stayed in the kitchen.

“Hello Touma-san.” Touma stood in the doorway trembling slightly as Seiji stood up and began to walk towards him.

“S... Seiji glad to see that you made it.” Touma felt his heart fluttering. Seiji looked absolutely handsome dressed in a very traditional robe. The colors brought out the intensity of his eyes. It was then he noticed the woman who walked up to Seiji and took his arm. Oh this is just great he actually took me up on it! He brought a date with him!

Keely recognized the man immediately and was about to say something when he turned and looked at her and She got the strangest feeling that it was best if she kept her mouth shut for now.

“Yes Touma I did. How have you been my friend?” Seiji was acting very formal and Touma assumed it was because of the girl clinging to his arm. Turning his head to look at the woman Seiji smiled then frowned slightly. “Suzume I would like you to meet my oldest and dearest friend, Hashiba Touma.”

Seiji then looked at Touma almost sadly in fact. No turning back now. I know I’ll never forgive myself for this... But what’s done is done. Seiji thought to himself. “Touma... I would like to... Uh...” Seiji found it hard to speak. Finally he straightened up and took a deep breath. “Touma? I would like to introduce you to Date Suzume... my wife.” He sighed sadly as he watched Touma’s eyes grow bigger. Sorry Touma... God I hate myself for doing this. I shouldn’t have come here tonight... I’ve hurt him now more then I could ever have.

“I’m pleased to finally meet you Hashiba-san. Seiji-san has spoken quite highly about you and his other friends.” She bowed slightly to him.

Touma felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. His chest began to tighten and he fought to breathe. WIFE? MARRIED! Oh God no! NO NO NO NO NO! OH GOD Seiji NO you didn’t! It’s a joke right? Touma quickly glanced down at Seiji’s left hand and sure enough there adorning his ring finger was a shiny new golden band. He’s married... I have lost him forever...

“Touma are you okay? Touma?” Keely asked. The scene confused her but she knew it wasn’t good. “Touma please! You’re like scaring me here.” Touma had gone white in the face and she could hear him gasping for air.

Touma turned his head in her direction though his eyes couldn’t focus. “I need to get a drink and some air. Excuse me.” He said quickly then left the room, just as fast. No sooner did he turn his back than the tears began flowing rapidly down over his cheeks.

“Suzume, I’ll be right back. I need to speak to Touma.” Seiji kissed the top of her head then dashed out to the kitchen. Touma was no where to be seen. “Excuse me but did you see where Touma went?” He asked a few people mingling around out there. They pointed to the back door and Seiji was out it in a flash. His own tears were beginning to fall; the look on Touma’s face was one he would never forget.

Seiji tried to get his eyes to focus in the darkness, scanning the area for any signs of the archer. He knew he could be pretty far by now since Touma was always quite fast. Movement down near the docks caught his eye and he quickly headed for it.

Touma sensed Seiji’s approach and while a part of him wanted to just run, he knew that eventually he would have to face him and so he stayed put. Seiji was in his bare feet and Touma listened to the footsteps, counting them. He knew exactly how many it would take for Seiji to cover the distance. Three, four, five, six...Damn why couldn’t this be a longer dock! Seven, eight and nine. Ding-Dong!

“Touma? Touma please look at me?” Seiji’s heart was beating madly. He could sense the anger mingling with the hurt, emanating from the archer.

“Fuck you Seiji!” Touma said as he kept his back to him. “Uh check that... You’re a married man now... I couldn’t do that even if I wanted to, not that I would want to anymore. Go back to your wife and leave me the hell alone!”

“Touma I’m sorry... I should have told you sooner. I just didn’t know how.” Seiji walked up beside him and placed his hand on Touma’s shoulder.

“Get your fucking hands off of me!” He slapped Seiji’s hand away. “You’re a complete bastard Seiji! You‘re not sorry... Not in the slightest!” Touma turned to stare him in the eyes. “How long Seiji? Were you already married that night you met me in the park?” Touma held his hands by his sides his fists balled so tightly that his nails dug into his palms.

Seiji shook his head no. “We got married a little over a week ago. Grandfather introduced her to me about three weeks ago. How do you think I felt? I didn’t expect my family would choose a wife for me so soon. I especially didn’t think they would have me marry her so quickly. Guess they didn’t want to risk me backing out of it. I had to honor their decision... It’s my duty as the Date heir.” Seiji could feel his heart slowly dying as he looked into Touma’s eyes and saw nothing but hatred.

Seiji really thought he could get out of the proposed marriage but his family had covered all bases quite well including not mentioning anything about his past... Especially about Touma and the relationship they once shared and then the quickie wedding sealed his fate.

“Oh shove your duties up your ass Seiji! I’m so sick and tired of it. I was your best friend you asshole and at one time your lover... Yet you didn’t have the balls to tell me you were getting married! You could have at least called! What? To chicken for that? What about a letter then? Huh Seiji? A Postcard maybe? Still not good enough? Well then how about a Small note written on a piece of toilet paper. Anything!”

Touma was building steam and Seiji knew it was best to just allow him to finish. “With so many forms of communications you could have found a way had you really wanted to!” Touma hissed.

“You spineless wimp! You couldn’t tell me could you? Oh what the fuck you didn’t even have the fucking balls to tell me that we were through... You left that to Ryo and Nasuti! You‘re chicken shit Seiji!” Touma stood there just staring at Seiji. “ Am I the only one who didn’t know? WELL? God I’m so pissed right now I could slug you!”

Touma could feel his anger rising up and took a few deep breaths. He also felt the tears readying themselves for a water show and he was determined not to give Seiji the satisfaction of seeing him break.

“No one knew until tonight. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you... I really am. After Suzume and I were introduced we were whisked away to a retreat so we could get to know each other and before I knew it we were married.” This was one thing Seiji hated more then anything... God Touma was right, he was spineless.... He hurt the one person he loved more then anything in this world, yet again.

“Hold it a fucking moment! Shu and I saw you at the mall about two weeks ago... Why didn’t you say anything then? Too much of a coward Seiji? Oh let me guess you didn’t want to shatter me, right?”

Touma got into his face. “News flash Date-san I’m not porcelain I won’t break! What the hell if I was breakable don’t you think raping me would have done that? Considering you left me after that... Left me to deal with a rape on my fucking own while you had your family to help you through it all. No Seiji what it comes down to is this... You have no backbone! You worthless piece of shit!”

Seiji was stunned, while he had seen Touma angry before he had never seen it this badly. He winced at the remark about the rape knowing full well how Touma had handled it... A lot better then he did that was for sure. At least that was the impression he had gotten.

Touma was right though, he did have his family helping him, but as far as he knew the guys were told about what happened to Touma and no one else. At Touma’s request they were asked to put it behind them and forget about it. “I couldn’t Touma... I was there to buy a gift for Suzume. You seemed happy and I didn’t want to spoil that.” Seiji hung his head too ashamed to look at Touma.

“Oh god how noble of you! Mr. Prim and Proper strikes again!” Touma screamed at him. “Do me a favor Seiji... Don’t ever talk to me again... As far as I’m concerned you never existed!”

Touma started to walk away from him, he had to.... He no longer had the strength to hold back the tears that were now staining his cheeks. “I hate you Seiji Date! You’re a gutless, bastard! God I hate you!”

“No Touma, don’t say that.... Say anything but that, please.” Seiji choked back the tears as he reached out to grab Touma’s arm. “I will always love you Touma... That’ll never change.”

“I SAID GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME!” Touma’s anger went over the edge and so did Seiji. Touma swung around and connected with Seiji‘s jaw sending the swordsman backwards and into the lake.

Touma stood on the edge of the dock looking into the cold waters as Seiji surfaced; his robe floated around him making him look like a human lily pad. Seeing he wasn’t knocked out Touma was satisfied. “Next time listen! Oh and Seiji... You wouldn’t know love even if it slapped you in the face. You’re the biggest son-of-bitch I have ever known!”

Touma started to walk away then shouted over his shoulder. “What totally sucks Seiji is the frigging fact that I will always keep you in my heart! No matter how hard I try I won‘t be able to forget you. In my own sick way I will always love you and I hate you for that!”

Touma took his time heading back to the house, he needed time to stop the tears and calm the shaking his whole body was feeling. His mind felt so numb. Never again would Seiji be his...

That revelation was just too much for him to bear. He felt like his whole world was crumbling around him, piece after piece was breaking off to float away with the wind. What was left was a shell, a cold lifeless shell.

Finally he was able to walk into the house the only ones there were Shin, Lorelei, Shu, Ming, Nasuti and Ryo and Suzume Date of course. God how that name felt so bitter on his tongue.

Hmmm Keely is still here as well. Oh well no time like the present to begin forgetting. He grabbed a beer from the ice bucket sitting on a table in the living room and quickly downed it. Setting the empty aside he grabbed another.

“Touma are you okay man? We were just about to come looking for you.” Shu ran over to him. “Touma talk to me... What happened?”

“Nothing... Nothing at all.” Touma said coldly, shoving Shu out of the way and walking over to Keely. “Hey Keely looks like this party is over with here, I know this great club in town. Want to go?” Touma smiled. The others just looked at him stunned into silence.

“Ah Touma... Where’s Seiji?” Shin asked timidly... He could sense a deep anger in Touma and didn’t want to set the archer off.

“Down by the lake.” Touma answered not taking his eyes off of Keely. God you look so much like him. He smiled at her then traced her jaw line with his fingers; the beers were hitting him hard and he was getting nicely buzzed. “We had a little talk and that’s that.” Touma nuzzled his face into Keely’s hair. “Let’s blow this joint.” He suggested.

“Is he okay Hashiba-san?” Suzume asked shyly.

“Oh don’t worry your hubby is just fine.” Touma smirked and managed to down his beer in record time. Getting drunk will certainly numb the pain in my heart and Keely would be a nice compliment to my night even if she does remind me of Seiji. “So how about it Keely? I want to celebrate.” He smiled and leaned his face into her hair again.

“Okay. Sure I’d love to go.” She was going to turn him down but she could sense a deep sadness in him and with the way he was downing those beers she thought it best that he have someone to take him home. “So what are we celebrating anyway?” She asked as he helped her with her coat.

“My freedom.” The others could hear him say as he started out the door. They jumped when Touma popped his head back into the room. “Oh someone may want to go get Seiji. And... Take a towel with you.... He’s going to need it. Seems Seiji decided to go for a late night swim!” They listened to him laugh as he went out the door.

“Oh shit!” Ryo and Shin said at the same time. “Nasuti get some dry clothes or a robe and I’ll grab towels from the laundry room. They raced around while Suzume continued to sit there confused by the whole thing before it all finally sunk in and her eyes went wide.

What happened between them? Why did her husband seem so upset when he introduced her to his friends, especially Touma? Suzume knew that she needed answers and was going to get them, one way or another but first she had to see what Touma had done to her husband.

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Touma stirred as his head throbbed violently and his stomach felt slightly queasy. He could feel sunlight hitting his face and tried to will it away. When that didn’t work he pulled the covers up over his head. “Damn Hangovers!”

The sound of movement in the room caused him to slowly lower the blanket and open his eyes. Peeking over them, ever so cautiously, he looked in the direction the noise came from. Touma saw a tall blond-silhouetted figure standing by the window wearing nothing but the dress shirt Touma had worn the night before. Touma’s heart started pounding in time with the throbbing in his head. He couldn’t remember much of anything past his arrival at the club.

“Seiji?” He said softly as he sat up slowly and tried to clear his vision. The figure slowly turned to face him. Touma’s eyes widened and he felt the blood rushing to his head. Oh my God... What have I done? Touma flopped back down and shut his eyes tightly, then pulled the blankets back over his head. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I’m dreaming, that’s all. I’ll wake up and everything will be back to the way it was. I hope? Oh God I have really screwed up this time!”

The figure stared at Touma and smiled as Touma quickly ducked back under the blankets. “How cute!” Then turned back to the window to take in the morning sunshine.

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