Pretty Woman; Chapter TWO
By Wildefyre & Hiruma
Done as an Email RPG
This was written in answer to the challenge put forth by Djinn and hence it’s dedicated to Djinn.
We do not own the troopers or anything affiliated with them so please don’t sue us... We’re broke!
BOLD TEXT- was written by Hiruma
REGULAR TEXT-was written by Wildefyre
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Seiji Meets his future
“Hey Touma! We’re all going to the movies. Why don’t you come with us?” Ryo leaned over the back of the sofa as Touma lay there reading. He smiled down at the archer when Touma looked up at him.
“Eh thanks Ryo but I really don’t feel like going anywhere tonight. I have this book I want to finish and a paper I need to work on.” Touma turned his gaze back to the book. He hadn’t been able to get off the page he was at, his thoughts were on the heartache he was still feeling.
“Listen Touma it’s been 3 weeks now, don’t you think it’s time you got on with your life? You have to believe that Seiji isn’t laying around moping.” Ryo sighed. “He’s moved on and so must you.”
Touma shot up and off the sofa, his book tumbling to the floor and his eyes darkening as he looked at his friend and brother in arms. “Do you think it’s that easy Ryo? Really what do you take me for?”
Touma was steaming as his fists clenched and unclenched. “Do you honestly think that in 3 weeks I can forget Seiji, forget the love we had, forget how much I love him and just move on as though I haven’t a care in the world?”
“Touma I didn’t mean it like that!” Ryo tried to explain as the others walked into the living room to check on the commotion.
“I loved Seiji! I still love him and nothing you say or do is going to change that!” Touma headed for the stairs. “Just leave me the hell alone! What would you know anyway? You have never been in love this deep to know what I’m going through... Until you do... Stay out of my fucking life!”
Touma raced up the stairs before any of them could see the tears that started forming in his eyes. He still had some pride left and was not about to lose that by crying in front of them anymore.
Ryo just stood there shocked. I do understand Touma. I do know what it’s like to love someone only to have that person not return that love. I do know what it’s like to have my heart breaking because of a love that can never be fulfilled. He sighed as he looked to the stairs and worked feverishly to hide his tears from the others.
Reaching the room he once shared with his best friend and lover; Touma walked over to the desk, pulling out some stationary and an envelope, he began to write.
Dear Seiji,
Hello koi. I hope that this letter finds you healthy and happy. I wish I could say the same but I can’t. I miss you so much Seiji. Since you left, my life has been so lonely. The past 3 weeks have been nothing short of miserable for me. I know I promised you that I would try and go on but I find that I can’t. I am not ashamed to say that I have cried myself to sleep every night since your departure.
I find my days just dragging by and the nights are the worse. I miss not having you beside me in this now too empty bed. I miss the warmth of your body spooned against mine. I miss the sound of your steady breathing as you sleep. I miss your scent, your smile, you laughter.
I can’t do this Seiji. I’m sorry. Without you in my life, there is no meaning, no purpose. You were everything to me and now that you are gone, I have nothing. My heart is slowly dying without you to breath life into it. I know you had to leave, you had a responsibility to fulfill but it still doesn’t help me.
Memories are not enough comfort for me. I need your arms Seiji. My heart feels so empty now and I’m not so sure I can go on like this. You may think I’m strong, but without you in my life I’m weak.
Touma stopped writing and looked down at the words he had written as he wiped away the tears with the back of his hand. “Jeez I sound like a sniveling idiot! Seiji would hate me if he read this. I can’t help it though, this is how I feel, this is what’s in my heart.”
Picking up the paper he crumbled it up and tossed it towards the wastebasket but missed as the crumbled ball skittered across the floor. “Damn you Seiji! Damn you!” He cried out, pressing the heels of his palms onto his eyes.
Getting up he walked over to his bed and collapsed onto it in a heap as the sobs became more forceful. “I love you so much Seiji. I can’t forget you, I can’t just go on. I’d do anything to have you back in my life, in my arms and in my bed.” He stared at the photo of Seiji and himself that sat on the night stand.
“We were so happy then Seiji, we had each other and nothing else mattered. Why have you allowed this to break us up? Could it be you didn’t love me as much as I thought? As cruel as it may sound... If I knew you were hurting just as much then maybe I could go on.” He laid there crying, clinging to the pillow that Seiji’s head once graced, his scent still imprinted within its fabric.
Ryo listened from just outside the door until he could no longer take the pained sounds of his friend’s sobs. Slowly he opened the door, not even bothering to knock. When he saw Touma on the bed, curled into a ball, clutching the pillow and sobbing, his heart sank and he raced over to him.
“T... Touma?” He said softly as he sat beside the archer. Reaching out, Ryo brushed the sweat soaked bangs from Touma’s face.
“What are you doing here? Aren’t you going to miss the movie?” Touma spoke into the pillow, trying to hide his face and the tears he was shedding.
“I told the others to go on without me. I figured you needed a friend more then I needed to see that movie.” Ryo replied. “Touma? I know that this may be hard to hear, but you have to face the fact that Seiji is gone and will most likely marry within the next few months.” He hated saying it but he had to speak the truth.
“I know Ryo and that’s what hurts the most. He’s going to commit his life to someone else. I’d do anything to have Seiji as my life mate, but I know that can never be.” Touma finally looked up at Ryo, his eyes red from crying.
“You’re right Touma and that’s why you have to move on.” Ryo’s heart was breaking, he knew Touma loved Seiji but to hear him wish he could be Seiji’s mate for life was more then he had wanted to hear.
“I’m trying Ryo! It isn’t easy. You don’t just fall out of love at the snap of a finger!” Touma was hurt by what he saw as an insensitivity on Ryo’s part. “I love Seiji and to think that in 3 weeks I could just move on as though he meant nothing to me is just plain stupid! Not to mention insensitive!”
“I realize that Touma but you can’t begin to move on if all you do is sit up here and sulk.” Ryo reached out to touch Touma’s cheek. “You should be amongst people, amongst your friends.”
“What would you know? You have no idea of the pain that’s in my heart! You don’t know what it’s like to love someone so much that you would gladly die for them. You don’t know what it’s like to miss someone so much that you would do anything you can to preserve their essence within your life.” Touma hiccupped and then looked at the pillow he was holding.
Holding the pillow up, he stared at Ryo. “This pillow Ryo! Seiji laid his head on it every night, it still smells like him and I fear the day when I will no longer be able to detect his scent on this.” Touma’s tears began falling again. “I fear the day when I will forget what it’s like having his arms around me or his lips on mine. Every day that goes by I lose a little of that and each time that happens, a part of myself dies as well.”
“You still have your letters, the phone, pictures and memories Touma. And I’m sure we’ll be seeing him very soon.” Ryo choked back the tears that were so close to falling.
“Yeah as we’re introduced to the woman who will forever get to share the things I once shared with Seiji.” Touma looked away from Ryo. “He has yet to call, and I’m afraid that if I call him I’ll wind up sounding like a sniveling idiot. Pictures remind me of what will never be again and memories can‘t keep you warm at night.”
“As for letters, well you may as well know that I have written to Seiji every day since he left except for today; he has yet to answer.” Touma spoke softly. “Twenty-one letters Ryo! Twenty-one times I have poured out my heart and soul and not once has he written back.” Touma’s eyes held a profound sadness that nearly shattered Ryo’s heart.
Ryo sat there stunned. “Touma I am so sorry. If there was a way to make things better, I would.” He felt the first of his tears slide from his tiger blue eyes. “I hate to say this Touma, but maybe it’s Seiji’s way of telling you to move on.” He was angry that Seiji could be this insensitive to Touma’s feelings especially with the way the swordsman had acted prior to leaving. “Maybe... Maybe Seiji just didn’t love you the way you loved him.”
“That’s what scares me Ryo... Oh God did I give him everything I had when it meant nothing to him? If so what am I going to do now? I don’t know if I can ever love anyone that way ever again!” Touma sobbed into the pillow he still clutched tightly.
“I know Touma, but we’re here to help you. Just give us a chance.” Ryo realized that it was now or never for him. “If it helps, there is someone who loves you, someone who cares enough to wait until you can return that love.” His voice was but a whisper.
“Nani?” Touma looked up at Ryo confused by what he had just said.
“Oh hell Touma...” Ryo could no longer hold back his feelings and quickly placed his hands on either side of Touma’s face as his lips captured and crushed the archer’s. To Ryo it was like heaven as he felt the softness of Touma’s lips next to his. It was all he had ever dreamt about and so much more, yet he could sense that Touma had no intentions of returning the kiss that burned with Ryo’s desire.
Touma at first laid there stunned and shocked at Ryo’s boldness and the kiss that was still claiming his lips. Using his arms he finally freed himself as he pushed Ryo away. He could see that Ryo’s eyes seemed to be blazing with passion and desire, feelings he just could not return. “Ryo what the hell do you think you are doing?”
“Touma I know I shouldn’t have done that... But I’m not sorry either. I can’t hide this any more, I don’t want to.” Ryo looked at him, as he tasted Touma still fresh on his lips. “I love you.”
“WHAT?” Touma sat up and attempted to scoot away from him, shocked by his friend’s confession. Never would he have expected to hear this come from the one they called their leader.
At least now he knew why Ryo had acted so coldly towards Seiji, especially after Seiji announced that he had to go home and marry. Ryo was jealous, jealous of Seiji and the love Touma had for him. “T... Tell me you’re joking... R... Right?” Touma stumbled on his words.
“I have fallen in love with you Touma. I have loved you since that day we went to Arago’s world to rescue Shin, Shu and Seiji. I can’t help it.” Ryo looked down at his hands as they shook. “When you and Seiji announced that the two of you were an item, my whole world crumbled. I felt as though someone had tore out my heart and stomped on it. I wanted to be your lover, I wanted to share your kisses, I wanted to be the one you made love to and to be able to make love to you.” Ryo spoke with a quiver in his voice.
“I would never leave you Touma, I have no obligations to a family. I would always love you and cherish you... If you would just give me that chance.”
Touma could only sit there as Ryo made his confession. It took several minutes before Touma could find his voice and speak. “Ryo I’m flattered, but there’s something you must be made aware of. I’m not gay buddy!”
“Nani? I don’t understand?” Now it was Ryo’s turn to look stunned and slightly shocked.
“I’m not gay and neither is Seiji. I know that that’s hard to understand and all but if the truth be known, with the exception of what Seiji and I had... We’re both as straight as one of my arrows. Why do you think it’s no problem for Seiji to up and marry a girl?” Touma sighed as he pulled his knees to his chest. Resting his chin on his folded arms, he looked at Ryo.
“You’re right, I am confused.” Ryo could feel his heart slowly breaking but he tried to be strong. “You and Seiji loved each other, but you two aren’t gay? H... How can that be?”
“You see Seiji and I... Well we just sort of happened. Maybe it was the link with our armors, maybe it was the bond we developed as friends... I can’t say for sure. All I do know is that we found ourselves falling for one another even though we had tried to deny how we felt.” Touma sighed as he tried to explain.
“It was right after we brought Seiji home from New York, one night he awoke from a nightmare and as I held him we realized we couldn’t deny our feelings any longer. We kissed and as they say, the rest is history.” Touma sighed as the memories flooded his mind.
“Touma if it happened once, maybe it can happen again. Give me a chance, that’s all I ask.” Ryo leaned forward on the bed. “I can make you happy... I just know it.” He said, trying to keep Touma from scooting away again, wanting desperately to taste the lips of heaven once more.
“I can’t Ryo! Don’t you get it? Seiji is the only male I will ever love, the only man I will ever give myself to. Like Seiji, if I marry, it will be to a female now. Seiji is the only male I would even consider spending a lifetime with.” Touma tried to move away as Ryo advanced on him.
“You say that now, but I know that in time I could get you to feel differently. I could give you so much more then Seiji ever could. I can give you that lifetime of love.” Ryo’s eyes darkened as the passion once again blazed to life.
“NO RYO! This has to stop here and now!” Touma hissed. “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings but I can never love you like that... I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? Damn you sound just like Seiji!” Ryo spat back, hurt and dejected he sprang from the bed. His tears spilled down over his cheeks. “Well if you want to sit here in this room and pine away for a love you will never have, then be my guest! You seemed to have picked up many of Seiji’s traits... You’re acting just as cold and uncaring as he is! So what if my heart is shattered right?”
“That’s not true Ryo, I’m only trying to spare you... I know it hurts, damn it. You could never be happy loving someone who couldn’t really love you back, it would be too painful.” Touma tried to explain.
“Why not? You did!” Ryo stood with his back to Touma. “You loved Seiji and he never loved you back. Face it Touma! If he had loved you, he would have never left! You’re just as much of a bastard as he is.” With that Ryo raced out of the room, his tears clouding his vision as he made his way to his room, nearly knocking Nasutei over.
Reaching his room, Ryo quickly slammed the door shut then collapsed to his knees as he cried. He figured his confessions of love to the archer would produce some shock, but he really wasn’t prepared to be totally rejected as he had been.
“Ryo?” She stopped and looked at the closed door and then at Touma’s room. “I wonder what that was all about?” As much as she wanted to know, she had learned that the guys wouldn’t talk unless they were ready to and so she continued to her own room.
Touma just sat there, Ryo’s words rang in his ears and his mind. Could he be right? Could it be that Seiji never truly loved me? Was I just a convenience for him until the day he would take his place within the Date clan? Damn what if it is true? God Seiji I need to know! If you would just answer my letters then maybe I would know.
Touma crumbled back onto the bed as the sobs once again took hold of his body. I just wish I knew what you were doing now Seiji... Are you happy? Have you at least thought about me? Could it be that I became nothing more then a distant memory as soon as you left here? He cried hard and before he knew it his heavy and weary eyes closed as he fell into a fitful slumber.
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Seiji sat in his room going over the past 3 weeks in his mind... So much had occurred as he looked down at the blank journal Touma had given to him before he had left. He needed to get it all down, to get it straight in his mind.....
~For three whole weeks I’ve been away from my friends and the man I love, although it has felt like years to me, knowing that the next time I see them it’ll be to introduce to them the woman that my family has picked out for me to marry. It’s too much, I’ve been practically sold away to someone I don’t know just so there can be an heir for my family. I feel like I have been auctioned off to the highest bidder just for the amusement of others, because they like to watch me in such pain.
There is no way I can give someone else my heart and soul and confide in them like I did with Touma. No matter how long I’m with this woman, I won’t be able to love her with the same passion and affection (if I ever end up loving her at all) that I love Touma with. I regret that I won’t be able to be a good husband to the woman I’m getting married to, I regret far more that I left Touma...
My Touma... He’s written to me everyday since I left. I’ve made it a point to get the mail before anyone else can, just to see if I’ve gotten anything from him. I have twenty-one unopened letters from him. Though I long to open them and to read what he has written, just to see his hand writing or to smell the paper to see if it has the scent of his cologne on it, I can’t bring myself to doing it. I fear the heartache he might bear to me, something I cannot nor will I ever be able to fix.
Or it could be bearing the news that he’s already found someone new, even if I’d be pleased to know that Touma has found someone to love, I wouldn’t be able to handle knowing that it would be with someone other than me. That it would be a complete stranger who’d be holding my Touma, kissing him, touching him, making love to him... I wonder if Touma feels that way about my future wife?
I also fear that he might hate me now and I don’t think, no, I know I couldn’t take that, anything but that. Even if the letters are really something innocent, like what has been going on over there and the weather, I don’t want to be reminded of what I have lost.
But today I haven’t received a letter from Touma. He’s most likely given up, maybe even heart broken from my silence, he must be upset that I’ve failed to reply to him. I don’t deserve even a single letter from him after leaving him like this. I couldn’t believe how understanding he was when I left, I could hardly understand myself.
I should write back to him or even call him, to show that I haven’t forgotten about him and that I do still love him, that I always will. He doesn’t deserve the silence I’ve been giving him. Somehow, if I call him, I know I’m going to break down and if I were to write a letter, where do I begin? Do I tell Touma all that has been happening over here and risk hurting him even more?
My gods, I can’t believe what has been going on over the last three weeks. We’ve been preparing for this damn wedding and I haven’t even met this girl! I don’t even think my parents really know her, because they aren’t giving me many details about her! It’s driving me insane! I hate all of this, my mother has already decided where the wedding will be, but I failed to pay attention when she told me, all I could do was nod dumbly.
I think she even picked out the kimono I’ll be wearing for the ceremony. Hell, I probably could’ve gotten married already and not even remembered it because of the mood I’m in. I feel so numb, everyone around me is fussing over all of this and I can hardly hold a rational thought in my head. All I can think about is how miserable I am and that the only person I ever want to get married to is Touma.
For the first time in my life I find myself hating the mornings. Usually I’m eager to get up, my mind is most clear when the sun rises, but I don’t want to get out of bed anymore. My heart aches even more when I wake up alone and cold, not having my dear Touma next to me. What I wouldn’t give to have him laying next to me again, to have his warmth and love in my life once more. When I wake up without Touma, I feel like I wake up without a reason to go on.
My grandfather isn’t pleased by how I’ve been acting, so he’s been having me train even longer than usual at the Dojo. He keeps telling me that I’ve gotten soft from living with my friends, little does he know that my reflexes have slowed for grief is weighing down my every movement. I wonder how he’d react if I told him that I was in love with another man? He’d either have a heart attack or try to beat some ‘sense’ into me.
When I was living with my friends, I trained just as much as I did when I was younger and living at home. Right now, however, I’m not into it, so I’m forced to stay up in the late hours of the night till my grandfather has called it a night. So now I go to bed half beaten up, lonely, cold and with tears of sorrow in my eyes. It’s times like that, that I do miss Touma the most.
When I used to train extra hard, Touma was always there to give me a good massage and help me relax. Those nights I’d sleep like a baby, with his strong arms protectively around me and his scent clouding my senses. He was always there to kiss my tears away and to tell me everything was all right. I was safe with him and I could let out my emotions, now that I’m back in Sendai, my mask has been put back in place. Once again I’m the cold, emotionless Seiji that I used to be, though this time I do have stronger emotions and they’re tearing me up inside.
What is it going to be like? Living the rest of my life with a woman my family has picked out for me and our children? Can we make the marriage work, even with me being in love with Touma? Or will it fail miserably? I beginning to hope that maybe it’ll fail and she’ll want a divorce, then I can go back to Touma, beg for forgiveness and another chance with him.~
“Seiji! You’ve been holed up in your room all day!” Satsuki bounced into the room, sitting down on the bed next to her older brother. She managed to get a peek at what he had been writing before he slammed his journal shut. Frowning, Satsuki wrapped an arm around her brother’s broad shoulders and whispered to him. “You miss him, don’t you?”
“With all of my heart and soul.” Was Seiji’s soft reply, tears shining in his eyes.
Satsuki knew of Seiji’s relationship with Touma and honestly, she thought it was the sweetest thing in the world. Only Touma could make her brother smile and laugh out loud, to let his guard down and his feelings out.
She could tell that it was true love the two shared. “If... If you two love each so deeply and truly, then in the end, you and Touma will be together again.”
“Do you really believe that?” Seiji asked, rather bitterly.
“Of course!” Satsuki said seriously. “Nothing can destroy the power of true love, not even the dumb traditions and honor that our family has.”
Sighing softly, Seiji muttered quietly. “I hope you’re right, Satsuki. Just don‘t let grandfather hear you talk like that.”
“I am right! You’ll see Ni-chan.” She smiled. “You and your koibito will be together again, just be patient.”
“Hai. I guess so.” Seiji tried to smile. Satsuki never did conform to the rigid regimen that he and Yayoi had been subjected to. In a way he admired her and her ability to pull away from the traditions his family had followed for so long. Of course being the youngest, and female, she could afford to be such, but he was the male and hence his family depended on him to continue the family lineage.
“In two days we’ll finally get to meet her. Are you nervous?” She asked as she picked at the bedspread. She knew this was not what her brother wanted and it hurt her tremendously to see him so sad.
“A little I guess. I just wish it wasn’t happening that’s all.” Seiji admitted. “I know mother and father aren’t pleased with the way I have been acting or that I spend so much time in here. I just need time to get myself together, to get it all straight in my head.” He explained. “I know I have to do this, It’s my responsibility, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I wish mother and father would see that.”
“I know!” She sympathized with him, hugging him tighter. “Seiji? I’ll tell the family that you’re writing letters to your friends, that should get mother and father off your tail for awhile.”
She watched as he nodded his head then allowed a small smile to play across his handsome features.
Satsuki giggled as she gave Seiji a quick kiss on the cheek and then bounced back out of the room.
Seiji sat there drawing his knees to his chest. “I know I should write back to him, but what do I say? How do I keep my hurt from making his heart ache even more?” Sighing he slipped off the bed and over to his desk. Pulling out a postcard he wrote a short message.
This way he felt better that he had written back but the small postcard kept him from writing too much. He knew he was putting off the inevitable and that a longer letter to his love would have to be written, but for now, this would have to do.
Touma,
All is well here. I apologize for not writing, but grandfather has been keeping me busy. I miss all of you. Please give my love to the guys and to Nasutei. I’ll try and write a longer letter for your eyes only, soon.
Love always,
Seiji
Seiji addressed the postcard and placed the postage on it then decided to mail it himself. He didn’t want his family to see it.
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“Touma! There’s a postcard here for you. It’s from Seiji.” Shin smiled and handed it to the archer who snatched it eagerly from Shin’s hand. Smiling he read it to himself and then his face changed as the heartache set back in.
“He’ll come back just you wait and see.” Shin patted him on the back.
“Yeah as a married man.” Touma said sadly. “He sends his love.” Touma said and then raced out the door. He couldn’t cry in front of Shin, bad enough he had broken down in front of Ryo. Running as fast as his legs would take him he rushed into the woods where he finally collapsed.
“Damn you Seiji! After all those letters I wrote, pouring my heart out to you and all you can send back is a postcard that says you miss us. What about me? Am I now just ‘One of the Guys’? Is that it? Has our love faded so much that you can’t even bother to write a personal letter to me?” Tears stung his eyes as he knelt on the cool ground.
“Could it be that your betrothed has somehow managed to capture your heart already? Why Seiji? Just one fucking letter... That’s all I ask for. I need to know if I’m just a memory or am I still present in your heart the way you are in mine.” Touma allowed the tears to flow. No one could see or hear him and so he was free to let it all out. All the heartache, the pain and the uncertainty.
Everything he had to hold in around the guys was now pouring out of him.
Finally after having exhausted himself, Touma made his way back home. The sun was setting and soon his element would come out to greet him but he didn’t care. The stars had lost their brilliance the day Seiji had left him.
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“Seiji may I introduce my daughter Tori Hane.” Sensei Hane smiled as his daughter walked into the room. Seiji’s grandfather had taught Sekai Hane many years ago and the two had remained in touch. The two had decided that when the time came, Tori would be the perfect wife for Seiji and so it was done.
Seiji bowed politely as Tori walked into the room. He had to admit that she was pretty, even beautiful but she couldn’t compare to the handsome features his former lover had. Tori’s long black hair flowed well down her back, her bright green eyes sparkled and her smile lit up the room as she gracefully made her way over to Seiji.
The robes she wore complimented her perfectly and seemed to make her eyes that much more vibrant. Seiji could tell just by her walk that she had been taught to be proper, to be poised and to be the ever graceful woman she was at that moment.
She stopped to stand before him as though she was awaiting his approval. Seiji’s eyes drank in the sight before him. She was like one of those porcelain dolls his sister use to play with, at least she seemed that way to him. For some reason that thought made him ill, she was the perfect little wife, delicate and proper, ready to be at her husband’s beck and call. God how he hated that!
“Konnichiwa Hane Tori.” Seiji bowed to her then smiled. He couldn’t help but blush as she smiled back at him. “You look quite lovely tonight.” He finally said.
“Konnichiwa Date Seiji.” She spoke softly and blushed slightly.
And so the introductions went, as Seiji and Tori who had hooked her arm into his, were led around to the rest of his and her family for proper greetings. It would be several more weeks before the formal announcement when Seiji and his betrothed would be introduced to the people the couple would choose to invite. That was one thing Seiji was not looking forward to, to be paraded around in front of Touma like that.
Surprisingly, as the night progressed, Seiji found himself enjoying her conversations as they took little breaks to get to know one another. She was very soft spoken and had many interests including Kendo and anything sword related.
Seiji did find out that her biggest hobby was raising and breeding birds, which was befitting of someone with name of Tori even her sir name was connected, hane meaning ‘feather’. She was an avid bird watcher as well and could mimic the calls of over 100 various species of birds which Seiji almost found himself chuckling over.
He also found her to be quite intelligent, which meant he could actually have a conversation with her, unlike some of his friends whose brides weren’t known for their ability to converse but more so for their ability to please.
Before too long, the evening was drawing to a close and the couple gathered at the door to bid farewell to family members before taking a few minutes to be by themselves to say goodnight.
“I thank you for a wonderful evening Date-san. My only wish is to be an honorable wife for you.” She bowed.
“Thank you very much as well Hane-san for allowing me to be your host this evening and I hope that I will be an honorable husband to you.” He said though it just didn’t feel right. In fact the whole thing left a bitter taste in his mouth.
“Is there something wrong? Did I do something that did not please you?” She asked when she saw his frown.
“No. Gomen Nasai. I was just lost in thought. You were fine this evening.” Seiji smiled and then leaned in to plant a soft kiss upon her cheek.
“Okay, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night, correct?” She smiled.
“Hai.” Seiji said as he was reminded of the evening they had set up. Dinner and a show at the local Kabuki theater. Whether he liked it or not this woman would be his wife and he felt it was best to get to know her as much as he could so he could at least feel comfortable around her.
He smiled a bit more when the thought crossed his mind about how she would possibly react if she ever found out that he had laid with another man and was far from being a virgin. How would she deal with that knowledge, knowing that her husband to be once had a male lover? Touma... The name swept into his mind as his absence tore at his heart.
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The next morning Seiji was allowed the day off from the Dojo though it did not get him out of helping to decide on various things needed in preparation of his upcoming wedding. His mother kept his attention on her practically all morning and after lunch when he was finally freed, he escaped back to the safety of his room. Once making sure the door was locked he turned around and sighed.
He had put it off long enough, he knew that. So with a heavy heart he dug into his closet for the box which contained the unopened letters from his Touma-san. With shaky hands he slowly began to open them and read them... Knowing that today he would be finally writing that letter he had long promised his love.
As he read over each letter, Seiji soon found his vision blurred by tears. Reading these letters was like reading Touma’s heart and soul on paper. All of his emotions were poured out into each word, all of his love, sorrow and grief.
It was one of the things that Seiji had feared, it was Touma’s heartache and he knew he was the cause of it all. After all he had done, after walking out on the best thing that had ever happened to him, Seiji still had Touma‘s love. He felt that he didn’t even deserve Touma’s friendship, yet his love, still he would treasure it for the rest of his life.
Once he thoroughly read all twenty-one letters, Seiji picked one up and just stared at the handwriting. Usually Touma’s handwriting was hurried and somewhat sloppy, but in these letters, it was neat and each stroke of his pen was done with care, as if his very goal was to make it as perfect as possible.
The blond could imagine Touma sitting at his desk in the middle of the night, a small lamp providing the only light in a dark room, writing out his emotions on the sheet of paper in front of him. Then he’d read over what he had written, shake his head, crumple it up in frustration and start over again till he felt that it sounded right.
Holding the paper closer, Seiji could smell faint traces of Touma’s scent on it, the one he used to wake up to. He could feel himself melt at the simple reminder of his love. Getting up from where he was sitting at his desk, Seiji made his way to his bed and slipped his hand under his pillow, searching for the picture he had hidden under there.
Taking out the old photo, he looked down at it fondly, it was one of his favorite pictures out all of the many he had. It was an adorable picture of Touma when he was younger, a goofy grin on his face and his bright blue hair falling into his eyes, in his arms was a large, white teddy bear that Seiji had won for him. Behind him was Seiji, his arms wrapped around Touma’s waist and a small smile on his lips. The picture was taken by Shin about a couple months after they had gotten together, they were at a fair they had gone to with the guys.
Brushing his fingers on the glossy surface of the photo, over Touma’s face, Seiji remembered the fine details of the archer’s face. When he would lay in bed with the archer, sometimes he would lightly trace the features of his face, neck, shoulders, arms, chest, stomach... anywhere that he could get his hands on. Just gliding his fingers across that picture made him think of the feel of Touma’s face. The softness of his skin, each curve and crease, the texture of his pale pink lips that Seiji loved to kiss...
Quickly wiping away the tears forming in his eyes, he tried not to think of it, those thoughts only brought him more pain, knowing that he could be nothing more but a friend to Touma now. He was getting married, he would have to stay true to his wife and family. Seiji took the photo and went over to his desk, picking up a piece of paper and a pencil and making sure the picture was propped up so he could see it, Seiji started writing.
He spent about two hours just writing to his love, wanting to make up for the cold, impersonal postcard that he sent Touma. His hand ached from writing so much, but he knew it was nothing compared to the ache in his and Touma’s hearts.
Looking over the letter, he made a few corrections in his wordings and then quickly signed his name at the bottom and put the long letter in an envelope with the address and stamp already placed on it. Seiji was determined to go mail it off right at that moment, but he was interrupted by a light knocking at his door.
Unlocking the door, Seiji saw his younger sister standing there. “Hey, Ni-chan, locked up in your room pondering over Touma like usual?”
“Sounds about right. What do you want?” He smiled at the big grin her face held.
“Mother wants you to start helping her make the guest list.” She frowned slightly.
Rolling his eyes, Seiji let out a soft sigh. “Why can’t she do it herself? It’s not like I’m actually going to be of any help.”
“Seiji...” Satsuki said his name in a warning tone.
“Fine, tell her that I’ll be down in a bit. Oh and Satsuki, could you do me a favor?”
“Of course, that’s what I’m here for!” She smiled brightly, happy to help her brother in anyway possible, knowing that this had to be something about Touma.
“Could you mail this letter for me, please? Don’t open it or I will be most angry.” He grabbed the envelope off of his desk and held it out to her.
Satsuki snatched the letter from him and clutched it, a dreamy look in her eyes. “Oh, a secret letter to your love, it’s so romantic! And I’m the messenger that sends and brings these secret letters to the two lovers. It’s just like it came out of a movie or a romance novel.”
She began to set up the scene her mind conjured up. “I can imagine it now, the day of the wedding, you’re in the middle of taking your vows when Touma comes running down the aisle. He screams that he loves you and that he can’t let you go like this, with tears streaming down his eyes. You say that you love him too and that you can’t possibly live your life without him.” She looked at her brother dreamily.
“Then you fling yourself into his open arms and give him a big kiss on the lips with all of your friend applauding. And finally, you two run off together into the sunset, get married and spend the rest of your lives together.” Her rambling was sounding too much like a bad, low budget, American movie.
“Satsuki, you’ve been reading one too many romance novels.” Seiji patted her head and giving her a sympathetic smile, as though he pitied her for having such an extensive imagination.
Sticking her tongue out at him, Satsuki replied, “Well, I’m so sorry! I’ll go mail your secret love letter and you go help Mother.” With that, she ran off with his letter held firmly in her hand. She was so full of energy, hyper and carefree that he wondered if they were raised by two different sets of parents.
He then trudged down to the living where he knew his mother would be waiting for him. First she was going to talk about the guest list, then she was going to go on about another thing, then another. Seiji was not looking forward to this ...
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Touma laid on his bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling that was covered in glow in the dark stars. Shin had been up earlier, trying to get him to go somewhere with him, saying that he had been holed up in this room too long and that he needed some fresh air. But he just ignored his friend, and turned his back to him to look at the window.
Shin eventually got the message and decided just to wait till Touma got out of his depression. Ever since Touma received that post card from Seiji, he seemed to have gotten worse.
Even though he was alone, Touma couldn’t bring himself to cry anymore, his tears were gone for now, though he knew they’d be back. He felt numb inside and he didn’t have the will to get up and move from where he lay on Seiji’s side of the bed, or what used to be his side before he left.
Touma forgot how long he had been laying there, maybe for an entire day, he didn’t know and didn’t care. He found it too easy not to think and drown himself in a whirlpool of emotions.
This is dumb! Touma, you’re being so weak and helpless, Seiji has probably already moved on, fallen in love with that girl and has forgotten about you now. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go on with your damn life! He told himself.
“Easier said than done...” He whispered, burying his face in the pillow under his head.
“Touma?” Shu came into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking sadly at his friend. When he had gotten no response, he had decided to just go on in. “Uhm, you got something in the mail today, it’s from Seiji.” He was surprised when he got no reaction from that statement, he thought for sure that the archer would’ve pounced on it. “I’ll just leave you alone, okay? But you better come down for dinner, or I’m going to drag you down myself, you’re too skinny for your own good.” Waiting again for a response, he still got none.
Giving a thin shoulder a gentle squeeze, Shu spoke softly. “I hope that you get out of this depression soon, we all miss you. If you feel like talking, you know you can come to me. I might not be good with advice like Shin, but I’ll be there just to listen. I’ll just leave the letter right here next to you for now.” Slowly he got up, giving Touma one last look, he slipped out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
After he heard Shu leave the room and go back downstairs, Touma turned over to see if Seiji sent him another fucking postcard. His heart skipped a beat when he saw that there was an envelope next to him. Grabbing it, he torn it open and took out the letter inside of it.
Touma’s hands shook as he stared at the letter with its perfect penmanship and then his heart died several times over. A slim finger reached out to touch the stains that dotted the sheets of paper and he knew immediately what they were. “My God! Seiji’s tears.” He spoke softly. Clutching the letter tightly to his chest he allowed his own tears to fall helplessly down over his pale cheeks. Touma then held the letter out and began to read.
Touma,
Please forgive me for not writing any sooner but life here has been rather hectic. If I’m not being pulled away by mother to plan the... Well, you know... I have grandfather working me extra hard in the Dojo as though he‘s a man on a mission. I’m now teaching several classes and it is going quite well. My students are all under the age of 15 and they have been catching on quite fast, which is a good thing since my heart isn’t always in it.
I wish to apologize for the post card I had sent a while back. It was cold and impersonal but I assure you, there was a reason for it. Until today I had not been able to bring myself to opening your letters for I feared reading one of two things. Either you had found someone new or that I had caused you more heartache then I could ever imagine. I see that the latter is true.
Oh God Touma I am so very sorry. I wish like hell that I was there with you my love. I miss you so much and each day that passes I find my heart breaking that much more.
My love for you will never die, I promise you that much. The past few weeks have been pure torture as I find myself missing you more and more. I spend most of my free time locked away in this small room wishing I was locked in your embrace instead. Though my days may be hectic, I still have time for you to fill my thoughts.
It’s nighttime that I dread the most, when I’m alone here without your arms around me. I miss the smell of your shampoo, the feel of your skin, the softness of your kiss and the passion you display when we make love. Why does fate have to be so mean? Why can I not have what my heart really desires, my only love, my star shine? It hurts Touma, knowing we can never be as we once were, it’s tearing me up inside the longer I go without you.
A few days ago while repairing a sword I realized how easy it would be to just plunge the blade through my shattered heart. There would be no pain for me since I already feel so numb. I couldn’t do it though. I couldn’t do that to you. The pain it would cause you would be more then I could bear and so I continue on as my heart slowly dies.
I gave up counting how many times my tears have fallen over the past few weeks, it doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore, darkness could wash over me and swallow me whole and I doubt I would care to fight it. I hate what my family is doing to me, forcing me to give up my only true love for a wife I will never love as much as I do you. I hate myself even more for being to weak and not standing up to them. The only thing that matters now is that you are okay. I need to know that you are coping okay with all this going on.
Please Touma, I can’t go on if I know that you are wasting away pining for me. You have to move forward just as I am forced to do so. I know this is hard on you and what I request will be practically impossible, but if you truly love me you will do it. Find someone new! A love that will encompass your heart the same way you have always done to mine. Find someone who will be there for you when you need to talk, who will hold you close when you need a hug and who will love you with everything they have. You, my love, deserve that much and so much more.
I can’t stand the thought of someone else loving you, but I can’t be selfish, I have to let you go to find the happiness that has been so cruelly taken from you and me. Know this Touma, I will understand if another love takes my place; I have to. I want you to be happy Touma and I know you may think you never will be, but if you allow another love into your life, you can be. As for me, I will continue playing the role I am now forced to play and hope that I can go on... knowing I will never know love like I knew with you.
I am sorry Touma but I must finish this up now, my tears blur the words and my heart is breaking... no shattering as I write this. I will be seeing you soon though since I have requested to my family that I be able to invite all of you up to Sendai a week prior to the formal introduction of my betrothed at an engagement party. I need to see for myself that you are okay before I can continue on with what I am being forced to do.
Formal invitations will be sent out within the next few weeks for that. I hope that you will come, for even though we cannot be together as a couple, I would love to see you again as my best friend.
My heart and soul will forever be with you,
Love,
Seiji
Touma finished reading the letter and collapsed down onto his bed, their bed, the one he shared for so many nights with his best friend and lover, crying harder then he ever imagined. “He does still love me... Oh God his heart is breaking as badly as mine.” Touma felt the pain in his heart as the floodgates opened and his tears feel in torrents down his cheeks. He was crying so hard that he never heard the soft knock nor the door opening...
“Oh Christ! Touma what is it? What happened?” Ryo’s heart was in his throat as he rushed over to Touma. He looked so fragile and lost at the moment and so Ryo scooped him into his arms and held him.
“He still loves me Ryo... Look, those stains, they’re his tears. He’s hurting so badly.” Touma sobbed and then hiccupped as he held up the letter for Ryo to see.
Ryo felt his own heart breaking as he stared at the letter. He still had not given up on the archer and hoped that as time went by and the pain of losing Seiji lessened that he could still have a chance. He also felt awkward about reading over something so personal as the letter appeared to be but his curiosity had gotten the better of him and so he read it.
“He wants you to move on Touma and I have to agree.” Ryo finally said.
“I don’t think I can Ryo, not without him, not without my Seiji.” The second wave of tears and sobs hit and Touma’s body shook from the force.
“You have to Touma. You need to find someone new, someone who can make you happy.” He brushed the dampened hair from Touma’s sweat and tear soaked face.
Shaking his head rapidly Touma’s tear glazed stormy eyes met Ryo’s tear filled light blue ones. “No I can’t. No one could ever love me or make me happy the way Seiji did. No one.” Touma found himself clinging to Ryo, needing the feel of human contact.
“Sure you can Touma. It’s as simple as this.” Ryo dipped his head down and softly kissed Touma. He felt the archer stiffen at first but then arms snaked their way up to wrap around his neck. Ryo parted his lips slightly to see if Touma would make an attempt at deepening the kiss and sure enough he did.
Moaning softly, Ryo relished the feel of Touma’s heated tongue as it explored and tasted him and he slowly lowered Touma and himself down onto the bed.
Touma at first couldn’t believe that Ryo was kissing him again, he had thought the swordsman had gotten the message the last time. This time it was different though, all the pain, sorrow and heartache was just too much for him and the need to love and be loved was far greater then his desire to remain faithful to Seiji. Breaking the kiss, Touma gasped for air as tiger blue eyes stared down at him.
“Ryo... I shouldn’t...” Two fingers covered his lips to silence him.
“Shhhhhh. Let me help you move forward Touma. I want to do this for you.” Ryo whispered as he began kissing along Touma’s jaw line.
“No Ryo, it wouldn’t be right. It would be fair to you.” Touma said yet still threw his head back as warm lips kissed and caressed his neck. It had been too long for him to go without the feel of another caressing his flesh. he had gotten too use to Seiji always touching him, caressing him, kissing him... It was a ritual for Seiji whenever they were alone. Coming back to his senses, Touma looked at Ryo. “I doubt I can ever love someone else the way I loved Seiji.”
“Well then don’t... I’ll take whatever you can give and nothing more.” Ryo began unbuttoning Touma’s shirt to kiss the tender flesh as it was exposed. Ryo felt light headed as he tasted the archer’s flesh and wondered if Seiji ever felt this intoxicated by it all.
Conflicting emotions began taking over Touma’s mind, part of him wanted this, wanted the contact of another human being. Ryo was willing to give him what he could no longer have with Seiji yet it still didn’t feel right. That part of him wrestled with feelings of guilt as if he were cheating on the man he loved. Touma felt confused and unsure about what was happening and knew he had to stop it.
“No Ryo... This isn’t right. Please stop?” He pleaded with him. “Please don’t do this...” Tears began making a track down over his cheeks as he struggled with his now raw emotions.
Feeling the body under him tremble as his pleas hit his ears, Ryo stopped. “Touma why? Why is this so wrong?” Ryo sat up and ran his hand through his hair. “Seiji is gone Touma, you have to realize that. He’s going to marry someone else now... You are a part of his past not his future.” Tiger blue eyes looked over at the archer, seeking answers.
“Don’t you think I know that? Damn you Ryo!” Touma got off the bed and sat on the ledge of the window. “I have had to let go of the most important person in my life, my heart is broken over this and that’s why I can’t allow you to continue. I am just not ready to let go all the way, I can’t... Don’t make me cut that last string just yet, please? Allow me to hold on to it for a little while longer.” Touma’s eyes glistened with his tears as he stared out the window.
“If that’s what you need to do, then go ahead Touma... Hold on to a false hope.” Ryo sighed and headed for the door. “You said Seiji was hurting just as badly, if that’s the case why hasn’t he made any effort to get out of marrying that girl? If he really loved you like he says he does, why can’t he push away like you just did? Is he that weak? That much of a coward? Or could it be that his love for you isn’t as deep as he says?” Ryo opened the door then paused as he listened to Touma’s sobs.
“Like I said Touma, I would never leave you nor would I break your heart the way Seiji has... But I won’t sit around and wait for you forever... You see I can move on if my love is rejected!” With that Ryo walked out, slamming the door as he did so, leaving Touma to his tears and feelings of loneliness.
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“Mother this list is ridiculous! We don’t need to invite casual acquaintances, it’s crazy.” Seiji slumped in his chair. For several days now his mother has been making him sit with her and go over detail of his up and coming wedding and he hated it. He could feel a headache beginning as he stared at the long list of names.
“Well it’s not everyday I get to see my son get married and I want to show off my new daughter-in-law. She is charming is she not? Beautiful as well.” His mother beamed.
“Mother she’s a person not a trophy.” He snapped ever so slightly as he stared at his mother. Sighing loudly he looked away from her. “I guess she is okay.” Seiji rubbed his temples and sighed. It was hopeless and he really didn’t want to do this. His heart screamed for him to just confess everything but his respect for his family’s traditions stopped him.
“What is it Seiji? I thought you two seemed to get along just fine. Do you not find her to your liking?” She reached out to lay her hand on his.
No I actually prefer this wonderful blue haired archer, the man who has shared my bed for several years now, mother. He wanted to say but held his tongue. “I don’t know her well enough yet... I haven’t really formed an opinion of her.” He said instead.
“Well you will have plenty of time before the wedding and of course you two will learn many things about each other after you are wed.” She patted his hand. ‘I can see you will be no help with these preparations especially if you have a headache coming on. Go and lie down for awhile, I’ll get Satsuki to help me.” She smiled and gathered up the items that were spewed about the table.
Seiji nodded and quickly left before she had a chance to change her mind. Once back in his room, he let his emotions slide out, it was getting harder to keep the mask in place, they were becoming stronger then he was.
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Ryo stood on the porch watching as the sun slowly set, marveling in the many colors the horizon took on. His mind was filled with images of Touma and the look of bliss his face had held, though brief, as he had begun to kiss him.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Nasutei asked as she stepped onto the porch and stood beside him. “Is everything okay Ryo? Care to talk about it?” She swallowed hard. She wasn’t sure when it had happened but her feelings for Ryo had literally changed over night... She knew she falling in love with him but she was scared that he may have all ready given his heart to another....
Ryo jumped a bit, he wasn’t aware that he was no longer alone. Looking over at Nasutei, he gave her a sad little smile and shrugged. “Sorry, but I’d rather not talk about it... It’s... It’s kind of complicated. Not that I don’t think you’d understand, it’s just that...”
“Say no more, I think I know what you’re getting at. Can I ask though, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, is it about someone you ... um, love?” She held her breath, hoping that he’d say no and he was just upset about something small. Something like his favorite soccer team losing or that he can’t get the jeep to start up, though she knew that wasn’t the thing on his mind.
“You’re very observant.” Ryo commented softly. “Yeah, though I don’t know if I have a shot at them or not, I’m not really sure.”
Nasutei could feel her heart breaking, Ryo was in love with someone else ... Masking her emotions, she forced a smile onto her face and lightly rubbed Ryo’s back. “Then you’ve got to keep fighting, anyone would be honored to have you in their life, especially as a boyfriend. You can’t give up on that person just because you think that you don’t stand a chance.”
I KNOW that I don’t have a chance with you... “You’re a wonderful person, caring, passionate, brave, talented, I could go on for hours talking about your good qualities.”
If only Touma would agree with you, Nasutei. But he still has his mind on Seiji, even though that blond fool left him to get married. I wish he would see that I would never hurt him like that, that I could love him just as much as Seiji did. If only Touma would just give me that chance...
“It’s nice to hear that there’s something good about me. Thanks for the advise, Nasutei, I
hope that fighting for them will get me somewhere.”
“You have to try, it’s better than not doing anything at all.” She wanted to cry to get all of her emotions out, but she wouldn’t, not in front of Ryo. Though a bit of hope flickered inside of her, if things didn’t work out between Ryo and whoever he was in love with, then maybe she could convince Ryo to go out with her, even just once if that was what he wanted. Like what Ryo wanted with whomever, Nasutei just wanted a chance at the bearer of Rekka.
“You’re right, it is a lot better than doing nothing. Maybe things will work out. Thank you.” Giving Nasutei a quick hug, he started to go back inside.
“Ryo, hold on a sec...”
“Yes, Nasutei?” He turned around to look at her.
“I... I just wanted to let you know that I know what you’re going through, so if you need to talk about it or something like that, you can come to me.” At the cost of my shattering heart.
Even though she wanted to be with Ryo so much, she couldn’t stand to see him so upset. Nasutei was determined to help him find the person he’s supposed to be with in life, even if it wasn’t her.
“Thank you, again.” They stood there, just looking at each other for another minute in silence before Ryo slipped back inside the house.
Turning away from the house, Nasutei let the tears slip down her face. I truly know what you’re going through, Ryo, for I’m going through it right now...
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It was past midnight, yet Shu didn’t seem to care, he enjoyed sitting with Shin and talking to him. It wasn’t unusual for them to come down into the kitchen and to talk. Sometimes Shin would make them a snack to eat, but tonight he pulled up a bottle of vodka and started drinking.
First the older man started talking about how he was worried about Touma and Seiji, then he began to rant on about how life was unfair and finally he just started mumbling to himself.
“You know what really shucks?” Shin asked suddenly, his words lightly slurred as he put down his shot glass and filled it up with vodka again.
“What?” Shu watched in amazement, he had never seen Shin drink so much in his life.
“Everyone, exshept for ush, is all shad and heartbroken."
“They are?” Shu moved the bottle of vodka out of Shin’s reach.
“Y-Yeah ... Just think aboust it. Seiji’s upshet caush he can’t have Touma anymore... Touma’s shad since Seiji’s gone... Ryo’s shad caush he can’t have Touma and Nasutei’s shad caush she can’t have Ryo. Now they’re all pouting in their roomssssss and won’t come down for dinner.” He frowned.
“It’s a pattern, don’t you see!? Men are attracted to Touma and women are attracted to Ryo and this is all the blond guy’s family peoples’ fault! But we’re immune to it all, caush we’re neither men or women, we’re Shu and... and... um, Shin.” Shin rambled on while turning over his glass and peering into it, as if he was wondering why there wasn’t anything inside of it anymore.
Shu blinked a couple times, was that just Shin’s drunken rambling or was what he was true? Did Ryo really love Touma and did Nasuti love Ryo? It would make sense, both of them seemed rather down and Shin was usually the first one to know about these kinds of things, hell he even predicted Seiji and Touma. But one could never tell after he had a few drinks.
“We need to fix things... Ever shince the blond guy left, there’s been no sex in this house. We need to have a... you know, an affair.”
“W-We do?” Shu certainly didn’t expect this to come up. That’s it, he’s not allowed to drink anymore! Shin is WAY out of it.
“Yep, we need a secret, dirty, kinky affair and bring sex back to this place.”
“Are you sure?” He still couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“I am!” Shin began giggling and leaned closer to his friend and whispered to him. “Don’t tell Shu this... But I think you are one hot piece of Shu! I want you to take me and have your way with me... It’d be fun, we could do it all night...”
“Are you really serious?” Shu’s heart was in his throat, he had wanted Shin for sometime now, and here he was practically begging him to take him to bed. Of course there was one minor problem... Shin was drunk!
“Of course silly!” He then put his hand right over Shu’s crotch, a giant grin on his face.
“Maybe we should start our secret affair tonight.”
“B-But... You’re drunk... I can’t, I can’t take advantage of... OH GODS!” Shin had just slipped his hand into Shu’s pants and was doing some rather interesting things with his ever growing erection. Just where did this seemingly innocent man learn such things?! Maybe Touma and Seiji started teaching a class on that kind of stuff...
“Do you like that, Shu? Do you want me?” Shin started kissing up Shu’s neck, until he reached his ear and proceeded to nibble on sensitive flesh there.
“H-Hai!” Shu’s mind was in such a haze that he didn’t even notice that Shin wasn’t talking with a slur anymore.
“Then take me. You’ve shown me how you fight, now show me how you love.” His hands went under Shu’s shirt and traced the strong, firm muscles he found there, his fingers brushing against the other man’s nipples teasingly.
That was all Shu could take. In one fluid motion, he got up and picked Shin up, throwing him over one shoulder and ran upstairs to the room they shared. After dumping Shin on one of the two twin beds in the room, he ran out to look for something to use for lube. He was now wishing that he had kept that tube that Touma had bought him as a gag gift for his birthday.
Shin had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud, things worked out almost too perfectly, though he had the feeling that Shu would cave in. He wasn’t the least bit drunk, unless someone could get drunk off of water in a perfectly clean vodka bottle...
“And people think that I’m naive and innocent. Hmm, maybe I should become an actor one of these days.” He said to himself with a sly and almost evil smile (if Shin could pull off a fully evil smile), stripping himself of his clothing and getting into a more comfortable position on the bed, eagerly waiting for Shu to come back.
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Touma stumbled downstairs unnaturally early at nine o’clock in the morning. He got only a few hours of sleep, he hadn’t been getting the same large amount of sleep that he was used to getting for the last few weeks. Though he’d usually lay in bed till about noon or until someone came up to get him out of bed or he found that he was getting hungry.
He was shocked to see that the kitchen was empty, there was no Shin making breakfast or Shu hanging around him, begging for something to eat. Then he grinned to himself, he had heard Shin and Shu late last night, they were trying to be quiet and not wake up anyone, as if they didn’t want the others to know about their wild night. Touma had laid in bed, wondering if maybe it was a one night thing or if Shin and Shu were beginning a relationship.
Biting his lip, he had the urge to run upstairs, wake Shin up and ask him, but he resisted. He hoped that maybe his two friends had finally gotten together. Maybe they were going to try to hide the relationship and sneak around for awhile. He remembered that at the beginning of his and Seiji’s relationship, they would sneak around too, not knowing how their friends would react to them being together.
Sighing to himself, he pushed that thought out of his mind and started looking around for something to eat, he was on his own for breakfast. After searching for something quick to eat, he settled on some cereal and milk, not the healthiest thing to eat, but at the moment he’d eat just about anything.
While quietly munching on his now halfway soggy cereal, his mind began to wander to what had happened the day before with Ryo... It was like he was cheating on Seiji, but how could it be considered cheating if they weren’t even together anymore?
No, we might not be able to be spend the rest of our lives together, but he still has my heart and love. It WOULD be cheating on him. But he wants me to move on, how can I though? I don’t know if I can ever love someone like Seiji again, I don’t think that I can.
“Hey Touma! It’s good to see you out of your room for once!” Shu beamed down at his younger friend, a broad, cheerful smile on his face.
Yep, it’s for sure, Shu got laid and Shin won’t be able to sit down for the next few days. Perhaps I should have a little fun with him. “Hey Shu.” Touma gave him a small smile. “Where’s Shin? I thought he’d be up by now.”
“Oh, Shin isn’t feeling well, so he’s going to be in bed all day.” Shu answered without hesitation, not a sign of him fibbing on his face.
Hmm, you’re good Shu, but will you be able to avoid all of my questions? “I see. Well, I thought that I heard some sounds come from your room last night, almost sounded like you two were going at it like bunnies or something like that...”
“That must’ve been Shin’s dinner, lunch and breakfast coming up. I think he has a stomach flu.”
Not even a wince! Shu, I am impressed! “Really now? Cause I could’ve sworn that I heard your voice too and it didn’t sound like Shin was in any kind of misery. More like some moans and the squeaking of a bed, something along that line.” Touma said innocently.
Shu shrugged helplessly. “Then you must’ve been dreaming, my blue haired friend, cause I have no idea what you’re talking about. So, what brought you out of your room at this time of the morning? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
Even changing the subject with such ease. I’ll let you go this time. “Hunger made me get up, I guess there’s a point where you just have to eat. Of course you would know that, since it happens to you every hour or so.”
“Hey, I’m still a growing boy, I need my food. What’re you going to do today? Mope around your room? Go to the mall with Nasutei? Watch sports with Ryo? Or do you want me to take you somewhere?”
Touma frowned slightly at the mention of Ryo’s name, though Shu didn’t seem to notice that change in his expression. He needed to get out of the house so he could think without distraction. Normally, he’d just go out into the woods, but whenever he went there, it’d remind him of Seiji. That forest was practically the blonde’s sanctuary.
“I think I’ll get out of the house today...”
“Where are you going?”
“Good question.” Touma thought about it for a moment and then a look came across his face that Shu wasn’t sure he liked. “I know! Out to a club to get myself piss assed drunk! That’s what I want to do!” Touma beamed.
“Mind if I join you?” Touma jumped at the sound of Nasutei’s voice as she walked into the kitchen still clad in her pajamas and a robe.
“Boy this is a switch, you’re up early and Nasutei’s not even dressed yet.” Shu chuckled.
“Are you serious about going out clubbing?” Nasutei ignored Shu’s comments and looked at Touma. She needed to do something, anything to get her mind off Ryo and right now the thought of going out and having some fun, was as good as any.
“Sure am. There’s a new club that opened, ‘Scruples‘, that I have been wanting to check out and having some company would be great.” Touma sighed slightly, he wished it would be he and Seiji going, but Nasutei would have to do.
“I’ve heard that it’s a great place. Some girls I work with went there last week.” Her smiled broadened. “We’ll have a blast!”
“Okay it’s a date then! You, me, a wallet full of money and a need to dance the night away.” Touma smiled then looked down at his bowl of cereal which had gotten quite soggy now.
“Hey I know it hurts Touma but the pain will lessen with time.” Nasutei reached out and laid her hand over his. “I’m sure that if there had been any other way, Seiji would have found it.” She spoke softly as she watched the pain and sorrow spread across the archer’s face.
“I don’t know Sutei, it hurts like hell and I can’t see the pain ever dulling. I’d give up everything just to have him back.” Touma choked back the tears, he had cried enough of them to last a lifetime.
“Well you and I will make a promise right now, no talking about heartache tonight! We are on a mission to have a little fun and that’s what we shall do!” She smiled as Touma raised his head to look at her. “Just one thing... Let’s take a taxi because I have no intentions of leaving that place sober!” She giggled.
“It’s a deal!” Touma laughed a bit. Picking up his bowl and glass he dumped the rest of the cereal into the garbage, rinsing the dishes out he placed them into the dishwasher. “Guess I’ll go do a little reading and then take a nap. I want to be at full energy level for tonight. I’ve seen you dance Nasty and I know I’m going to need my strength.” He chuckled.
“Hey I’ve seen you as well and you have a few moves that even I haven’t mastered.” She walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. “We’ll dance away our pain and drown out the sorrows.”
“You’ve got it!” He kissed her cheek and headed back upstairs.
Shu looked at them both, ready to say something, but stopped when Nasutei just turned and looked at him... Oh well maybe it’ll do them both some good. He thought.
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Touma stretched as he got up, the nap had done him wonders and he felt a little more lively and refueled. Hearing his stomach growl he decided to go and pop into the kitchen for a light snack before grabbing a shower. He and Nasutei had decided to go to dinner prior to going clubbing but his stomach just couldn’t wait that long.
Touma glanced at the photo on his night stand and his heart sank, he and Seiji had been so happy then... They had felt almost indestructible at that time, little did they know just how frail they really were. No! Enough crying, tonight I’m going to have some fun and forget, even if it is only for a few hours.
Leaving his room quickly in hopes of fending off the sorrow that had threatened to ruin his mood, Touma spied Shin exiting his bedroom. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, he decided to test his theory and prove that Shin and Shu did indeed have sex last night.
“Good day Shin.” Touma smiled. We all know what a lousy liar you are Shin so let’s see you squirm.
“Oh hi Touma, I didn’t see you standing there.” Shin looked at the bathroom which was down the hall a bit. “I was just going to go to the bathroom, Shu is using the one in here.” He scrunched up his nose and Touma knew what he meant.
“Be my guest.” Touma said. Come on little fishy... Walk! “So uhm there was quite a bit of noise coming from your room last night... Is everything okay?” Touma smirked.
“Huh? Oh that? Yeah everything is okay, I was just sick that’s all.” He blushed. Shin began walking slowly towards the hall bathroom. Despite his best effort, there was no way he could walk normally.
Had he realized just how much it was going to hurt, considering Shu’s size? Maybe he would have been the one taking instead of being taken. God his ass hurt... But it had been worth while, Shu was a fantastic lover. Who knew that someone so big and strong could be so gentle and emotional while making love.
“Hey Shin? You okay there buddy?” Touma was moving in for the kill. “You seemed to be walking funny. Come to think of it, I walked that very same way the first time Seiji and I had sex...” Okay let’s see what kind of fish tale you give now?
“Oh that? I uhm... I pulled a muscle in the back of my leg racing to the bathroom last night, hurts like hell!” Shin blushed a deep crimson.
Oh you pulled a muscle all right but it wasn’t a leg muscle... More like an anal muscle. Touma had to look away for a moment to keep himself from laughing himself silly. “Maybe Shu should massage it for you.” Yeah in and out... In and out... Touma knew that if he didn’t stop this he was going to be on the floor laughing himself silly.
“Yeah maybe I’ll have him do that.” Shin was just about at the bathroom door and Touma knew it was time to make his move. Time to use the patented, tried and true way to tell if a man has had sex for the first time with another man!
“Well I hope ya feel better.” He said and started to walk away but just as he did he gave the bearer of Suiko a playful slap on the butt which had Shin yelping and grabbing his ass. “Hey! Gotta go!”
Touma laughed as he walked down the hall. Yup it’s official, Kongo and Suiko are lovers! Gottcha! Next time little fishy, try being on top... His laughter filled the house as headed down the stairs and then ran into Ryo who was coming from the kitchen.
“What’s so funny?” Ryo looked at him, puzzled. It had been quite some time since he had heard Touma laugh like that.
“Oh nothing... Nothing at all.” Touma grinned and began whistling innocently as he went into the kitchen, leaving Ryo more then just a little confused.
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“Oh gosh Touma that was fun!” Nasutei swayed as they walked up the long driveway. It was uncertain as to who was holding who up but it was certain that they were both quite drunk. The tight black dress she had worn had more then just a few guys hitting on her at the club but Touma was there to rescue her whenever she gave the signal.
“Yeah... You are sooooo right. May I say that you looked very lovely tonight.” His eyes sparkled as he staggered a bit. He had decided on black slacks and a blue silk shirt for the night out, and the black sport coat fit right in. He even had several women coming on to him and two different guys, which just sent Nasutei into fits of laughter.
“Hey you looked lovely too... I mean pretty... I MEAN handsome as well.” She began giggling. “I think we’re a little drunk Touma...” She swayed some more and Touma had all he could do to stay on his own two feet.
“No? Do you think so? I think we’re just fine.” Touma tried to prove his point by touching his finger to his nose only to fail miserably. “Okay so maybe we’re just a tad drunk.” He finally said in defeat, which of course had Nasutei laughing even harder as she took out her keys. Just as Nasutei went to unlock the door it went flying open and Ryo was there to greet them.
“Just where the hell were you two?” He asked, standing there with his arms folded across his chest, acting more like Shin then anything. Touma couldn’t help but snicker at him, which got Nasutei into a silly mood.
“Hey pyro boy... We were out having a good time, drincing and danking...” Nasutei replied. “Did you miss me?” The alcohol made her bolder and she planted a kiss on his lips as she entered the house, giggling and humming. Ryo could do nothing but stand there stunned and before he could recover, Touma walked up to him.
“Ryo! So did ya miss me as well!” Touma placed his cold hands on either side of Ryo’s face and kissed him as well. “Ooooo HOT LIPS!” He laughed and joined Nasutei on the stairs as they sat there laughing.
“You two are drunk! Aren’t you?” Ryo blushed furiously from Touma’s kiss.
“Noooo? Whatever gave you that idea?” Touma’s eyes went wide and he grinned up at Ryo. “We’re not drunk... Right Suti?”
“Nope! Not drunk here.” She began shaking her head back and forth and when she didn’t stop Touma grabbed her head and stilled it. “Thanks... I couldn’t stop. I just kept going and going... Like the energizer bunny!” She began shaking her head again and once again Touma stopped it.
“Now don’t shake your head... You’re making me dizzy.” He tried to focus on her face but had trouble doing so. “Hey there are two of you.” He said and tried to put up two fingers, only three came up instead. Looking at his hand quizzically he pushed one finger down then proudly displayed the two remaining ones.
“That’s it! Up to bed! Both of you!” Ryo ordered them. He had to admit the whole thing was rather funny for they looked like two kids who had just gotten their hands caught in the cookie jar.
“Ooooo! He wants us in bed... Ooooo” Touma looked at Nasutei who broke into squeals of laughter. “I never figured you for kinky pyro”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it Touma.” Ryo blushed a deep red.
“Yeah... Right!” Nasutei grinned at him then stood and tried to walk seductively towards him though she practically fell into his arms. “Come on baby light my fire... Come on baby light my fire... Try and set the night on fire!” She began singing.
“Oh you go girl!” Touma started laughing and went to cross his legs only he couldn’t do it...
“Hey what’s going on down there?” Shu asked from the top of the stairs. “Some of us are trying to sleep ya know!”
“Ryo’s trying to take us to bed!” Touma stood up and grabbed the banister to keep from falling. “The little hentai!”
“TOUMA!!” Ryo felt as though his cheeks couldn’t get any redder. “Shu they are both drunk... Help me to get them up and into their rooms.” He finally sighed then yelped as Nasutei grabbed his crotch. “AND HURRY!”
“Is that a katana in your pocket or are you just excited to see me?” Nasutei purred against his ear.
“Shu you take Suti and I’ll take Touma, it’s better that way.” Ryo instructed as he handed off Nasutei to Shu.
“Gottcha.” Shu scooped the girl up and started up the stairs.
“Oooo Shu be careful or Shin may get jealous! How’s his ass anyway?” Touma staggered and grinned when he saw Shu’s face go white.
“Hey hot stuff join me later!” Nasutei winked at Ryo then rested her head in Shu’s shoulder. “Shu? I think I’m going to be sick!”
“Holy shit! SHIN!!” Shu shouted and raced up the stairs.
“Okay smurfy let’s go.” Ryo put Touma’s arm around his shoulder and grabbed his waist as the started up the stairs.
“You know you’re eyes are pretty when you’re angry.” Touma grinned and then grabbed Ryo’s ass, which cause Ryo to jump.
“Uh... Thanks. I think?” Ryo was trying his best to ignore the heat sweltering between his thighs but with Touma that was always hard to do especially feeling the heat of the archer’s hand through his sweats. He gasped when he felt Touma lean over and begin nibbling on his earlobe. “Uh Touma I don’t think....”
“Ryo? Don’t think then.” Touma said as he planted small kisses on the side of Ryo’s face. Finally reaching the bedroom, Ryo helped Touma over to the bed while trying his best to ignore the things the archer was doing to him...
“Touma, this isn’t a good idea... You’re drunk.” Ryo could feel his arousal stiffening and he felt guilty that he was getting turned on by his drunken friend’s affections.
“What’s wrong? Don’t you want me?” Touma looked up at him, his midnight blue eyes clearing as he held the bearer of Rekka’s gaze.
“It’s not that... It’s just that I...” Ryo never finished, Touma even in his drunken state was too fast as he pulled Ryo down on to the bed and the archer’s lips covered his in a sultry kiss. Ryo could taste the alcohol on his breath and while he knew it was wrong, he was just too weak to fight it.
“Have you ever had a man make love to you Ryo?” Touma asked, his mouth against Ryo’s ear. He could feel Ryo tremble so he began trailing kisses down over his jaw line and then pressed his groin against Ryo‘s thigh. “Mmmm you taste all spicy.”
“Touma... I don’t know if... Uhm... If we should be doing...THISSSSSS” He hissed as Touma’s hand snaked down to rub the bulge in his sweatpants.
“Shut up Ryo and enjoy.” Touma said and kissed him hard. Ryo tried to fight it, tried to push the archer away but his hormones won over and soon he was kissing Touma back with the same ferocity, moaning as Touma‘s heated tongue pushed past his lips, exploring and awakening new sensations within him.
Touma’s hands seemed to be everywhere, first brushing across a harden nipple then caressing the lean muscles of his stomach and finally back to the heat between his legs. Ryo’s conscious was getting the better of him, he knew that in the morning Touma was going to regret this... So would he, but he had wanted it for so long... What was he to do?
Maybe Touma has decided it is time to move on... For someone supposedly drunk he seems to have control over what he’s doing... Oh God what do I do?
“Okay Ryo... Time to take some of this clothing off... It’s getting in my way!” Touma stood up and started undoing his slacks while at the same time, never taking his eyes off of Ryo. “How about if I strip first, then I’ll strip you...” He smiled.
Ryo’s mouth hung open, it was now or never... Tonight could find him making love to Touma. Did he want this or not?
END OF CHAPTER 2
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Wildefyre: "Oh Gosh!" *Slaps cheek* "What will Ryo do? Will Touma continue? Oh the drama of it all!"
Seiji: "How could you stop there Wildefyre? Are Touma and Ryo going to make love or not? Will Ryo grow a conscious and stop it? Will Touma sober up in time? Better yet... Maybe he’ll just pass out." *Begins to bite his nails.* "You and Hiruma are just plain evil! The things you two have done to us should be against the law."
Wildefyre: "Oh stop your whining Blondie! Jeez you’re the one that dumped him! Why should he waste his life pining for you?" *Taps foot and waits for an answer.*
Seiji: "Cause I love him... I need him ... I want him... Oh what have I done?" *Slaps hands over his face*
Wildefyre: *Gives Seiji a hug.* "There, there... You poor baby. Let Wildefyre make it all better." *Gives everyone a big grin.* "Let’s uhm... Go into my office and we can talk." *Winks at readers as she leads Seiji away.*
Shin: "Talk my foot... We all know she has the hots for him!" *Goes over to door to listen.*
Hiruma: *Sneaks up to the door with a tape recorder*
Shin: What the hell are you doing with that??
Hiruma: I need some new good black mail material ... Ooooh, it sounds like things are getting interesting in there! *Glares at readers* Do you mind!? The chapter is over and this is a private moment between Liz and Seiji that I need to get on tape!
Shin: “Oh Brother! Hey guys don’t forget to leave a review! Thank you!”
