| SEX |
| I believe sex is a beauitful thing between two people. Between five its fantastic! (woody allen) Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. A husband was feeling randy one night, but his wife pushed him away. Sorry honey she said I have a gynaecologists appointment in the morning and I want to stay fresh. He nuzzled up to her again: Do you have a dental appointment? Pinnochio had been getting complaints from his girlfriend. Every time we make love, she said I get splinters. So Pinnochio went back to his maker, Gippetto the carpenter, for advice. Sandpaper said the carpenter. Thats what you need. So Pinnochio took some sheets of sandpaper and went home. A few weeks later, the carpenter bumped into Pinnochio again. How you getting on with the girls now? he asked Who needs girls? said Pinnochio Why is sex like a game of bridge? You dont need a partner if you have a good hand Whats the definition of trust? Two cannibals giving each other a blow job A man walked into a bar with an octopus. He perched the octpus on a stool and announced that it was the smartest octopus in the world. 'This octopus' he boasted 'is a musical genius. And I will give 50 dollars to anyone here who can find a musical instrument which my octopus cant play'. A man came forward with a guitar. The octopus picked it upand played better than Jimi Hendrix. Another man brought out a trumpet. The octopus played it better than Louis Armstrong. A third man handed the octopus a set of bagpipes. The octopus looked bemused. Ha! said the challenger. You play cant play it. Play it? said the octopus. I'm going to fuck it as soon as I get its pyjamas off! |