| Emotional Masochist You don't want me and no one else does either I'm a child and I've been abandoned affection lost me tenderness left me behind I've been exiled from the hand of love Tears are all that keep me company tears of generosity tears of sadness and betrayal tears that grace my face like diamonds they're so beautiful And I've begun to love depression and to crave hurt And I've become an emotional masochist sacrificing my happiness for pleasure I'm burned up by a fire that is fed by tears a rage I fear, as it draws near, will consume me with pain and suffering Isn't it terrible? Doesn't it make you cry to hear this? I'm a danger to myself and others Oh rapture! And yet I know myself so well as to know exactly what I want I'm miserable and I love it I'm depressed and I enjoy it I'm hurt and I hunger for more Fear and terror comfort me so sweet they are to me offering solace when no one else will All those terrible emotions of humanity make life so much more interesting make me so happy! My heart is diseased and my mind is confused the separation is pushing me to the brink of insanity I'm swimming in happy madness I'm drenched in sleepless nights And I cry and scream And I think through it all I love being hated! torn down and broken! frail and pitiful! miserable and lost! I love it! Cathy 2-12-04 |