| Part V: The Golden Chair of the Teacher's Lounge |
 |
| Zullo, Ryan, and Nokuma were doggedly following the trail of Becky and Brad. That is to say, Ryan and Nokuma were following Zullo, who was running with his head down, periodically dropping to his knees and saying "Ah hah!" and then getting up again. Without warning, and because he was not watching where he was going, Zullo hit his head against the brick wall of the High School.
"Ouch!" he said, rubbing his head. "That doesn't make any sense - they'd have had to have gone into the building the way the tracks are, and there isn't a door here." "They met someone who took them away," said a voice next to him. "They are quite safe, I assure you, though for how long you can remain that way when you don't have anybody on lookout is quite another matter." "Witchery of Merrill!" gasped Ryan. All three whipped out their weapons and spun around, but were suddenly blinded by a flash of light and dropped them. As they fumbled in the grass for their fallen weapons, the voice spoke again. "You idiots," it said. "Can't you tell a man's voice from a woman's? It is I, Papa Resek." "But, but, you're dead," sputtered Zullo confusedly. Papa Resek chuckled. "Did that water look like it could possibly be deep enough to drown anyone over the age of four?" he asked. "But what about the Sebring?" asked Ryan. "It dove in right after you." "Yes, well," said Papa Resek, a shadow passing over his face. "Sebrings can jog like the devil, but they don't swim very well at all. I was able to outswim it and escape." "Oh," said Zullo slowly. "Well, we have to return these horses to the Teacher's Lounge. Someone's going to have to walk, because we only have three horses." "That doesn't matter," Zullo smiled drily. "I have my own transportation." He put his fingers to his lips and gave out a shrill whistle. As if in slow motion, they watched as a white shape came prancing quickly over the fields toward them. Ryan shielded his eyes and looked closely. "That is one of the greatest horses of all time, unless my eyes are cheated," he said wonderingly. Papa Resek slapped him on the head. "They are, you idiot," he said. "What are you, blind? That is an alpaca, which looks nothing like a horse, walks nothing like a horse, and," he lowered his voice, "smells nothing like a horse, either, let me tell you." The four of them mounted their horses (and alpaca) and headed off into the distance. * * * After a bit of hard travel, which involved taking horses up stairs (which was a lot harder than Zorro made it look in the movies, Ryan thought), the quartet of travellers reached a room. And not just any room, as Papa Resek pointed out. This was the fabled Teacher's Lounge. As they entered, they looked around and noticed the sorts of intricate drawings on the walls that only kindergarten children can make. As Ryan was about to comment on this, their eyes were drawn to a fabulous chair, wrapped all around with yellow construction paper. An old man in a tattered jumpsuit was sitting in the chair, nodding as if asleep. This, they realized, must be the well-known Golden Chair of the Teacher's lounge, and its occupant must be King Naples. "Begone!" a sinister, hissing voice said, and only then did they notice an older, and if possible more decrepit man standing behind the chair. He seemed cloaked in shadow, and if he stood still it was difficult to see him. "Can't you see that the King has no desire to listen to your war-mongering and troublesome talk?" "That's not very fair," said Zullo. "We haven't said a single word yet. Maybe we were coming to wish him a happy birthday." "You lie," said the man. Ryan and Nokuma had begun to lag, their eyes heavy with sleep, and Papa Resek realized that the man's voice must have some bizarre power to it that put people to sleep. He strode forward and grabbed the man by the throat, lifting him up and hurling him bodily to the side. "Keep your sleep-inducing tongue behind its teeth, Schrager Sleeptongue. I have not swam through the mud and bacteria of the school stream to bandy words with a witless idiot. How long has it been since Merrill bought your service? And what did she promise you? That once she had cleansed the history department you could rifle through their desks?" Schrager's eyes darted to a pretty young woman standing to the side, and Papa Resek angrily shoved him against a wall. "Ah, so that's it," he said. "that you would be able to have EoAverre substitute for your class whenever you wanted to go play tennis...you disgust me, Sleeptongue. I have lost valuable time because of your little games, and more still will be lost if I continue to beat you up, as entertaining as that is. Go back to your master, and see if she will have you as no one else wants you!" Papa Resek quickly smashed out one of the windows and threw Sleeptongue out of it. There was a long, fading cry, a thump, and then sudden silence. Within the room the silence pervaded for an awkward moment, and then all the history teachers broke out in spontaneous applause. Naples grunted, and shifted uncomfortably in his sleep, his hands batting the air as if trying to fend off unseen monsters. "Thank you, thank you," said Papa Resek, bowing modestly. "But the evils of Schrager Sleeptongue are not yet undone. With his aid, Merrill has broken the mind of King Naples and has been controlling him for sometime. Not content to chair the English department, she has long been seeking the chair of the History Department as well. But never fear, I'm a wizard, so I will cure him." He stepped forward and waved his staff under Naples' face. The king shivered, as if going into convulsions, then unexpectedly his eyes opened, clear and alert, and he laughed. Some of the teachers, not having seen Lord of the Rings, began to cheer prematurely; Zullo shushed them. "You have no power here, Papa Resek...this is the History Department, and you are a mere English teacher. Do not presume to meddle where you have no authority." Naples' voice was angry and defiant. "That might equally be said of you....Merrill," replied Papa Resek quietly. "Begone, and leave Naples in peace." "What do you mean?" asked Naples, but there was a familiar green glint in his eye. "I am Naples, and Naples is getting tired of your presence. Naples can think for himself, and Naples is certainly not under anyone's control except his own...certainly not mine..." Naples voice trailed off for a moment into an awkward silence, then came back again, noticeably more effeminate and evil. "I...I mean....I am getting tired of your presence!" he/she shrieked. "I am not under anyone's control but my own! Certainly not Merrill's! Yes...yes, that's what I meant!" His/her eyes darted around crazily, and then Naples' body began to spasm, as if someone were losing control. Papa Resek raised his staff again, and the spasming subsided. Naples looked up weakly, his eyes clear again, and then fell into the waiting arms of his niece, EoAverre, who had rushed forward at the onset of the seizure but been restrained by Zullo. Zullo now gave a subtle nod to the gathered teachers, and they broke into applause again. |