| EPISODE XIX: A Fish Out of Water
Narrator: As a result of the last immunity challenge, Luke has won immunity. Sensing his vulnerable position, Lando has cornered Luke while the latter is collecting firewood. Lando: *Puts a friendly arm around Luke's shoulder* Hey, Luke, how's it goin' ? Luke: I still can't get over that Padme's my mother. I mean, my head hurts just thinking about all the crazy time paradoxes. Lando: Hey, relax, man - she already said Anakin's the father. Luke: Unless she's lying so that nobody's head will explode from thinking about it. Lando: Riiight. Well, listen, I've been thinking. You get to pick who goes home tonight. You know it'd be better to get rid of Dory. We gotta stick together, you know. Luke: Welll.... *the two of them start to approach the camp* Lando: I mean, look at her, you know she wouldn't care one way or the other. *Luke looks over at Dory's bowl. Dory is happily chasing her fin around the tank.* Lando: She's probably been doing that for hours, you know? Luke: Hmmm. Lando: I know you'll do the right thing, you old pirate. *as Lando walks away, he gives Luke a friendly slap on the back, and surreptitiously slips a bunch of credits into Luke's pocket.* *Luke deposits the firewood and sits down on a log near the fire, warming his hands.* Luke: Hi, Dory. Dory: Hi! I'm Dory! Who are you? Luke: *sighs* I'm Luke. Remember? Dory: Hi, Luke! Pleased to meet you! Luke: Dory, how many days have we been on this island together? Dory: Umm...umm...forty-....forty-two...42 Wallaby Lane! Luke: Close enough. So Dory, tell me why I should vote for Lando. Dory: Ooh, we're voting?? Who are we voting for, again? Luke: Well, I'm voting. And it either has to be you or Lando. So tell me why I should vote for Lando. Dory: You shouldn't! Pick me, pick me! I love to swim in circles! I'd do great in the Oval Office, don't you think? Luke: I'm not voting for President, Dory. I'm voting to kick one of you off the island. Dory: Great! I swim better in the ocean than this fishbowl anyway! Luke: Never mind. *Lando sits down next to Luke. He has overheard the conversation, and smiles smugly. He pulls out a deck of waterproof sabacc cards and begins "shuffling" them.* Lando: Hey, Dory, want to play a game? Dory: A game? I love games! What kind of game are we playing? Lando: It's called sabacc. I deal seven cards to each person, and you try to get a certain hand. Luke *interrupting* : It's like poker, Dory, except renamed to sound more exotic. Dory: Hey, don't poke me, mister! Luke: Never mind. Lando: So anyway, part of this game is that you can win stuff. Dory: Really? Lando: Yep. See, if you win, then you get something. But if you lose, then I get something. Dory: But I don't have anything...you could have some sand from my bowl, I guess. Lando: Well tell you what...because you're such a beautiful lady, *Dory blushes* Lando: I'll make you a deal. If I win, I'll make sure you get an all-expenses paid trip to a really nice reef back on Earth. If you win, I'll teach you an even better game. Dory: Wow, thanks! *Lando deals the sabacc hands, one to himself, and one face-down in the top of Dory's bowl so that she can see the cards. Also, not that she would notice this, but this way, Lando can also see the reflection of the cards in her fishbowl and, not surprisingly, quickly comes close to winning. Luke shakes his head in disgust.* Luke: Hey, Lando, you'll never guess who I saw in the forest just now. Lando: Who? Luke: It's Elizabeth. She snuck back onto the island and told me to come get you. She couldn't bear to live without seeing you again. Lando: Ooh, yeah, I'm gonna take her to cloud nine of Cloud City. *Lando winks broadly, then drops his cards and runs off into the woods. Luke quickly takes the best cards from both hands and puts them in Dory's bowl, putting the rest back in Lando's hand . Luke: OK, Dory, when Lando comes back, say 'I have an Idiot's Array!' Dory: What's an Idiot's Array? Luke: It's the winningest hand in sabacc. Just say it, and you win. *Lando comes out of the forest.* Lando: Hey, she wasn't there. Luke: Oh, that's too bad. The security must have picked her up before you got there. *Lando picks up his cards without looking at them.* Lando: It's your turn, princess. Dory: I have an, umm, I have an...Luke, what do I have again? Luke: An Idiot's Array. Dory: I have an Idiot's Array! Lando: No way! That's how I lost the Falcon! *checks Dory's hand* Lando: Well, I'll be Kesseled. But Lando Calrissian is a man of his word. Come on, Dory. *Lando picks up Dory's fishbowl and heads to the beach, with Luke trailing behind. A number of large orange balls are floating in the water. Lando: OK, Dory, this is the game. You have to get to the other side of the balls, but you can only touch the tops of the balls. The first one to the end wins. Dory: Oooh, like a race?! I love races! *Dory dives enthusiastically into the water and begins bouncing off the balls. She is quite talented, only stopping now and again to get a "breath" of water. Lando quickly falls behind. Seeing that he's about to lose, and to a fish no less, he picks up one of the balls near him and throws it at the ball Dory is on. It spins right as Dory lands on it, throwing her into the water, where she lays stunned for a moment. Luke runs into the water and grabs Dory, running back to her fishbowl. Dory: *groggily* Did I...win? Luke: Yes, Dory, you won. Just don't die. *Dory does not respond.* Luke: Dory, wake up! Narrator: But unfortunately Dory had suffered a damaging concussion from hitting the water so hard, and so she had to be airlifted off the island like that one guy on Survivor: Outback who fell into the fire and burned his arms so badly. And so now, only two remain. THE END |
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