they all were so tall and looked so scary, so muscular, so strong.
The dancing lights of countless torches illuminated the black kitty, a poor little creature
walking slowly through the crowd... jeering, insults, screams of glory and triumph... so
many satyrs, so many of them.
Asslan arrived, finally, at the feet of a very tall woman who laughed with cruelty at
him... and said something in Romanian, and no one understood a single word.
"Shut up and do it, be quick" Asslan said.
The Red Gypsy kept laughing, and then a powerful sound, perhaps coming from distant, giant
drums, shook the very ground and grew louder and louder...
A huge satyr came, bringing a little, cat-sized wooden cross... the Red Gypsy picked up
the poor kitty, carried him around and laughter exploded all over the army.
She put the kitty on the cross, another satyr came with a hammer and some iron nails and
then...
Wails of horror from a kitty, blood flying through the air... he died very quickly amid
horrible pain, and then the laughing woman pierced his side with a silvery dagger.
And the army kept advancing...
___________
Pewter Lascivious, wearing his impressive armour and his cloak, was walking in circles
inside Asslan's tent.
He had his sword in his hand, and looked very pale... Crooky came in, happy and excited,
and Pewter stopped at once.
"So, what news Crooky?" he asked, his eyes still very red- "Any information about the
enemy army?"
"Yes, Sir... and I'm afraid I have some bad news, sorry!"
"Speak!"
"The Red Gypsy's Army is now advancing through the desert" Crooky said- "They are deadly
satyrs, and so many... Sir, we are exactly nineteen hundred and thirty five crusader
gnomes and we're ready to die in your service!"
"Very well" Pewter said- "I hope Asslan had given me more troops anyway... tell me,
how many are they?"
"Er..." said the gnome, hoping he could somehow avoid this little, meaningless question-
"We... we don't know Sir, too many to count them..."
"WHAT?" Pewter yelled- "Are they more than us?"
"Oh yes, I'm afraid they are many more, Sir... don't worry, we shall fight with faith"
"But exactly how many?"
"They look like a sea of torches Sir... the ground is shaking Sir..."
Pewter went even more pale and now he started trembling...
"Pewter!" yelled Zuz Ann's voice, somewhere out there- "Damn it, come here and watch
this... oh my, they're so many! They are half the way now!"
"Wait..." Pewter said- "Crooky, are you telling me I have nineteen hundred and thirty five
crusader gnomes, two sisters, an idiot in underpants wielding a wooden stick, an anemic
horse and myself, to fight against... against... what?"
"Seven hundred million vicious, violent, blood-thirsty, flame-breathing, seven feet tall,
scimitar-wielding killer satyrs, yes... and an almighty Red Gypsy"
"Oh God, oh my God, ohhhh GOD!"
_____________
Asslan's pathetic army had taken positions on a hill overlooking the desert... the gnomes
were anxious and desperate, and Crooky, at the front of them all, was holding high a
huge golden cross adorned with diamonds and jewels.
Pewter, fully equipped for battle, was mounting his skinny white horse just beside the
excited and happy-looking Crooky... he looked so scared, so pale.
Zuz Ann, Ed Mort and Lust were a few feet behind them, and they all were staring,
horrified, at the huge, monstrous army that kept drawing closer and closer...
____________
They were overlooking an army that looked like a vast sea of torches, like countless
creatures advancing like one, like a single savage, wild animal that covered over seven
hundred square miles...
The evil, nasty black satyrs were clearly visible now, and they all were roaring with
courage and wielding their awful scimitars... these creatures had fire in their mouths,
and a cold fury could be seen in their dazzling black eyes.
They were around seven feet tall, but many were as big as a hundred feet high... and these
giants were carrying huge, black drums... and the sound coming from them, together with the
weight of the army, was shaking the ground all over Narfia.
Thousands of creatures, each the size of an airliner and as black as the sky above them,
were flying all over the army like blood-thirsty wasps... they had huge scaly wings like
those of a bat, looked like demons from a nightmare and had great flaming lashes that
kept fluttering in the darkness of the night.
Dragons... the Army also had a thousand of those huge, black, fat and murderous-looking
dragons the size of large stadiums, and the blasts of fire coming from their mouths
reached as high as a mile into the sky.
Goth and creepy chants coming from the Army could be heard all over the world...
_______________
Pewter Lascivious was gaping at this, pretty sure he was fucked.
"Looks tough, eh?" Crooky said, looking up happily at him- "Faith, faith, faith!"
Pewter inhaled a good dose from his glass pipe, his eyes went even more red, he took out
his sword and rised it high above his head...
"Now it's time..." he screamed, turning around to look at his own army- "And I see a whole
army of Narfians, here in defiance of tyranny!!!"
Crooky was still holding high his big golden cross, and the rest of the gnomes, looking
scared and pale, were listening to Pewter and staring foolishly at him.
"What will you do without freedom?" Pewter screamed, riding his anemic horse around and
wielding his sword with courage- "Will you fight? Will you FIGHT???"
"Fight?" Ed Mort asked, grasping the little wooden stick Crooky had given to him- "Against
THAT? No! We will run, and we will live!"
"Fight and you may die! Run and you will live, at least a while- And dying in your beds,
many years from now..."
"Pewter what the heck are you saying?!?" Zuz Ann yelled, suddenly realizing, horrified,
that she had never received archery lessons.
"Won't you be willing to trade all days, from this day to that, for one chance, just ONE
CHANCE, to come back Here, and tell our enemies that they may take our lives but they'll
never take our Freedom! Yeaahhhh!!!"
The gnomes screamed and raised their little swords with great pride and joy, suddenly
inspired by Pewter's glorious speech... and then, something terrible happened not so
faraway from them...
________________________
The Red Gypsy's Army, all together as one, spotted them at last and suddenly charged amid
great screams of victory and war... the ground was shaking even more, the roars were
deafening now and the drums began beating much harder than before.
"Wait!" Pewter yelled, his sword high above the army, when he saw that the inspired gnomes
wanted to charge- "Wait, steady... STEADY!"
"Open your eyes, Pewter!" said Zuz Ann, trying to find out how to put an arrow in her bow-
"Have you seen our army? We have GNOMES!!!"
"HOLD...!"
The satyrs were wielding their scimitars like crazy, the Red Gypsy could be seen leading
the attack with a great flaming sword in her hand, the flying black demons were now
plummeting like arrows toward Pewter and the gnomes...
"HOLD...!"
The huge fat dragons were charging together with the satyrs, their eyes gleaming with fury
and their blasts of dazzling fire illuminating the dark night...
"HOLD...!"
"Oh God, what on Earth are we doing?" screamed Zuz Ann, trembling together with Lust,
Ed Mort and the crusader gnomes- "For heaven's sake!"
Ed Mort was still in underpants and had nothing but a wooden stick, Lust was in pajamas
and had just a dagger... the gnomes were utterly ridiculous, and there they were,
standing against such a thing just because a selfish kitty had told them to do so.
Pewter still held his sword high above his head, Zuz Ann kept darting scared looks at him,
the huge monstrous army was just about to hit them and then...
"NOOOWWW!!!" Pewter yelled, his eyes all bloodshot and his voice like a howl.
"Now WHAT???" Zuz Ann screamed, but it was already too late...
The satyrs reached them and crashed.
_____________
It was a massacre, pure and horrible slaughter... a few seconds after the crash, over a
thousand gnomes had been slain in undescribable ways.
Heads of gnomes flying through the air, blood flying too, pieces of meat falling like
rain... the rest of them tried to fight, but were easily wiped out amid ghastly cries and
awful yells of agony and pain.
Ed Mort ran away as soon as he faced a satyr, but they got him from behind and a deadly,
blood-covered scimitar emerged from his chest... he squeaked like a mouse and fell, dead,
into a pool of his own blood.
Lust was wielding her dagger like a lunatic, but soon enough a scimitar sent her head
flying away in a shower of blood...
Zuz Ann shot a few arrows -all missed- and then a quick scimitar blow opened her belly,
her intestines falling to the ground...
"Oh God...!" she whispered, squirming in agony on the ground... and died slowly a painful,
horrible death.
Asslan's army had been annihilated in seven bloody seconds, not a single satyr had been
hurt and now only Pewter was fighting...
_______________
His horse had been slain, he was on his feet and was being forced to retreat while fighting
for his life...
Pewter turned out to be a competent swordsman, and was blocking every single scimitar
blow coming from three satyrs at the same time... but this was too much, he wasn't going
to survive.
He knew they would get him from behind if he tried to run for it... and then, in the last
seconds of his life, he heard a thunderous voice coming from behind.
"Fight with faith, Pewter!"
Asslan was standing proudly on a rock, safe and unscathed, and it seemed he wasn't worried
at all about Pewter and the now pretty clear result of the battle.
"To hell with faith, they are too many!" Pewter screamed, retreating and fighting.
"Have faith!"
"TOO MANY, DAMN IT!"
"FAAAAAAAIIIITTTTHHHH!"
"TAKE YOUR FAITH AND STICK IT UP YOUR...!"
"FAITH WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS...!"
Pewter could not believe this! Was he supposed to defeat single-handedly an Army that was
thirty miles wide? Now, Asslan was quickly rising to the sky through a ray of white light.
"YOU KITTY SON OF A BITCH!"
A female voice nearby screamed something in Romanian, and Pewter saw the Red Gypsy
throwing a green, dazzling fireball to the sky... it hit Asslan directly, and the kitty
was blown up in a thousand pieces and reduced to ashes.
Pewter's last and desperate sword blow was blocked, and a satyr kicked his chest... he
staggered backwards and fell, gasping, to the blood-covered ground.
He saw the stars in the sky, he tried to get up... Pewter briefly glimpsed a satyr ready
to deliver a terrible scimitar blow...
It hit, everything went black and Pewter knew no more.
THE END!!!!!!!