Set after 'Resolutions', they've just returned to the ship.

'I want a full report in the morning, Commander.' 'Aye Ma'am.' He sounds so cool, so harsh. Maybe this is what I deserve. I told him to keep his distance and that's just what he's doing. I don't like it any more than he does, but I know this is the only way we're getting this ship home.

The Thing That Goes Unnoticed.

Ch.1

Beep-beep. I sit in my ready room, waiting for Chakotay to bring me his report. 'Come in.' He enters the room, carrying two PADDs. He hands me one. 'Here's the report you asked for, Captain.' He turnes to leave. 'Chakotay, wait.' He turns back and I don't know what to say. 'Is there anything else, Captain?' I pause, slowly shake my head and watch him walk out of my door. When I said 'we have to keep a distance' I didn't mean we have to destroy our friendship. It seems that that is what I've done. I've destroyed a deep friendship with the man I care so deeply for.

The Doctor calls me to his office, he has the results of a blood test he did after we got the medication. 'It seems that all signs of the disease have gone, Captain. You're back at your always healthy self, I'd say.' 'Thank you, doctor.' I can read from his holographic face that there's something else. 'What's on your mind, doctor?' 'Commander Chakotay. He's not recovered as fast as you have. As a matter of fact, I think the medication wasn't strong enough for him.' 'But.. we don't have anything left, do we?' The doctor shakes his head. 'That's what I'm worried about.' Oh god. He's still carrying the deadly disease. 'Will he.. die if we can't help him?' 'I'm afraid so, yes. The disease has diminished, though. It can't affect other crewmembers. It's just him, I'd say.' 'Is there anything else, anything at all we can do to help him?' Judging from the doctors face, I'd say he's not very positive. 'I don't think so, but I'll keep doing research.' I sigh and smile weakly. 'Thank you. Contact me the second you have something.' I start walking to the door. 'Captain?...' 'Yes, doctor?' The doctor pauses and looks at the floor. 'I haven't had a chance to tell the Commander, yet. I think it's best if you tell him.' I nod. 'I will.' Leaving Sickbay, I know it'll be hard. We have barely spoken to each other the past week, and now I have to tell him he's dying. I hit my comm-badge. 'Janeway to Chakotay.' 'Chakotay here Captain. What can I do for you?' 'I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner together.' We've done that before, it shouldn't mean too much to him. 'Sure, Captain.' '1800h, my quarters. I'll see you then. Janeway out.'

I take a long bath and dress casually in jeans and the blue Starfleet issue shirt. When I close my closet, I notice the blue dress I used to wear on New Earth. I smile and think back two weeks earlier. Those were the days. Chakotay and me, alone on the most beautiful planet in the Delta Quadrant.

He comes to my quarters at exactly 1800h. He's never late. I'm ready for him, and I personally open the door to invite him in. 'It's good to see you, Chakotay. We haven't talked much since..' 'I know,' he says. I'm glad he's interrupted me, I really don't want to say New Earth again. 'Dinner is ready, replicated, but ready,' I smile. He smiles back. 'You know, next time we do this, we do it in my quarters. And I'll cook for you.' If there ever comes a next time. Oh, Chakotay if only you knew. I suddenly realise it's partially because of me that he doesn't know. I'm supposed to tell him this. Dinner first, I decide.

During dinner, he's quiet and I talk. I talk about Neelix, how he almost set my chair on fire last afternoon. I talk to him, about going to the doctor to get the results on my blood test. I also tell him I'm cured. 'Good, that's good.' He doesn't even ask about his test. 'Chakotay, we have to talk about this.' 'About what? We're talking, Kathryn.' 'Well, yes I know but we have to talk about the blood test,' I try. He has finished his dinner and I put the plates back in the replicator. I gesture for him to sit down on the couch and I replicate two glasses of Bajoran ale. Bad stuff, the ale, but he'd better take the news with some alcohol in his blood.

'The doctor asked me to talk to you about this,' I start. 'About what?' 'The results of your test.' 'Why doesn't he just call me to Sickbay? I've been distant lately, but not that distant, have I?' 'No, of course not. It's just... Hell, there's no easy way to tell you this Chakotay.' 'Tell me.. what? It's not like I'm dying or something.' There, he's just made it a hell of a lot easier for me. 'It is.' The silence that follows makes us both think about the consequences of what has just been said. 'I'm dying.' I owe it to him to explain this more carefully. 'The disease hasn't left your system. Not yet. It's not dangerous to anyone or anything else, but the effects on you are still the same. I'm so sorry, Chakotay.' 'Can't the doctor prepare a medicine or something, something that will counteract the virus?' 'He's tried, but.. things look pretty dark. I told him to continue looking, hell I told him to tripple his efforts but right now we have to consider the worst case scenario.' 'How long do I have, considering the worst case scenario?' 'The doctor said two, three weeks. You won't feel it, only the last few days you'll probably be unable to move or speak.' We're both in tears, Chakotay mainly because of me. He's not afraid. Never.

'Kathryn, I have to ask you something.' 'Sure, go ahead.' We've both calmed down a bit and I've put the ale aside for a minute, I don't want him to get drunk knowing he's dying anyway. He looks at me, as if he's trying to see wether I'm ready or not. 'I don't want to be alone, for the last weeks of my life.' 'You're not alone, Chakotay. I'll stand by you, right until the very end.' I shouldn't have said that. 'But.. I'm alone, all day, knowing you're there but you're not really there.' I smile. 'This wall is only two centimeters thick. If you speak loudly, I can hear you. Every word. The door is only ten meters away. If you need me, I can be there in mere seconds.' Chakotay nods. 'Okay. Thanks.' He stands to go. It's already very late, or very early, we've been talking all night. 'I'll see you on the bridge, then.' I nod. 'Sweet dreams.' 'Well, I don't think they'll be so sweet, but thank you anyway.' I smile sadly and watch him leave. My first officer, friend, soulmate, and my dream is dying. And there's nothing I can do to help him.

>> on to Ch. 2 3

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