The amount of time needed for this torture depends on the type of girl. It can take anywhere from an hour to an eternal amount of time to get ready. The more prissy type takes longer than the girl who leans more towards the tomboy side. I have friend who takes forever and a day to get ready for something as trivial as school. On the other hand, I am ready to leave for school within thirty minutes of waking up. For a date, it takes infinitely longer, even for me.
First, and definitely the most important, is the shower. Unlike the usual fifteen minute shower where it's just the normal routine, the time is taken to wash every square inch twice, if not more. I scrub my skin so hard that instead of its normal brown skin tone, it turns to that rash-red hue. Hair is shampooed countless times and conditioned even more. More hair is lost as a result of that than the stress of midterms and finals put together. Then comes my least favorite thing to do: shave.
The legs are lathered up and are painstakingly shaved. This takes an incredible amount of skill and effort. Each square inch of the leg has to be shaved from the top of the thigh to the curve of the ankle. Every single hair has to be shaved off for that pristine smoothness that girls rarely take the time to achieve.
If I had neglected to do so previously, I have to pluck the stray eyebrow hairs. If I ever do a paper on female masochism, this would most definitely be the largest chunk. On the face, the area around the eye is the most sensitive. If there are only one or two hairs that need to be plucked, it's not too bad. However, if there are a lot, I want to weep like a little child. Plucking eyebrows is like consistently being poked by a fine needle over and over in the same general area. Each hair follicle is ripped out one at a time by use of miniature forceps of pain. I am very clumsy and don't do well with small objects. Often times I'll grab at the skin instead of the hair resulting in small painful gashes or miniature welts.
Picking out an outfit is my favorite part because it?s the most fun and takes the least amount of time. I have to contemplate on the kind of date it is. The fancier the date the longer it takes to pick the outfit. When it's something fun and simple, it's a no brainer. I pick my favorite pair of jeans and a nice shirt or sweater. If it's a fancier date, I ransack my closet, grab every article of clothing that may possibly make a good outfit and go to the room with the full size mirror. One by one each outfit possibility is tried on and criticized. It really doesn't take that long as everyone makes it out to be. When the perfect, or rather the almost-but-not-quite-as-perfect-as-I-want outfit is chosen, it is taken off and carefully ironed and left alone until the last minute.
I have the wonderful blessing of having thick hair and way too much. The hair is worn either half down or completely down on dates. If the hair is still wet, it is blow dried until it's one giant frizz ball. Gallons of anti-frizz serum is brushed through the hair to make it lie flat and look nice, shiny and somewhat presentable. This is the one time my hair ever looks pretty.
On to makeup. Foundation and blush is cake, no real effort is needed for that part. Lipstick on the other hand, is a different story. I don't think there is a single woman in the world who has the one perfect color and doesn't have to mix and match various shades of lipstick. If there is, then she is lucky. If I'm going for a natural look, it's no problem. A little Blistex DCT and I'm set. Unfortunately, I like going the full nine yards if I'm exerting this much effort into getting ready for something. So to avoid the puffy clown lip look, three or four shades of lipstick are mixed to get the perfect color. Continual trial and error until voila: the lips look impeccable!
With five minutes to go the outfit is put back on and a purse is grabbed and overstuffed with the feminine essentials for emergencies and the "what if" scenarios such as: A) "What if he doesn't pay for my dinner? I better bring some money." B) "What I start my period while on this date? I better bring Midol and some tampons." C) "Oh no, what if my breath is really bad? I better bring gum and mints. Or maybe I should just bring a toothbrush and tooth paste. No, I'll just bring everything." Alright, I exaggerated a little, but my point is made. One last look in the full size mirror to make sure everything is right, and it is. So right that I can't help but sing, "I feel pretty, oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity any girl who isn't me tonight!" The doorbell is rung and the door is opened and instead of any complimentary words, there is a surprised look and an inaudible, "Wow."
As much as I don't like getting dressed up, it's all worth it in the end, even if the only compliment is a surprised look. Going through a trial always makes the reward more worthwhile.