Tips:
1. ?Tell someone you trust.
For me, it was one of my closest friends. She happened to already know about the eating disorder as she had confronted me about my eating habbits a few months earlier. However, she didn't know about the self injury and I had actually lied to her about scars about a month earlier. I trusted her implicetly. ?Since that time, I've told others. All have been close friends and family members.
2. Invite questions
This might be hard and uncomfortable, but it is also important. It is very likely that the person you are telling has never known someone with an eating disorder or self injurous behavior. You need to be prepared to answer questions. From my own experience, questions that are often asked are, "When did all this start?" "How often do you (cut, binge, purge, fast, etc.)?" "Does anyone else know?" "Why do you do this to yourself?" "How can I help you?" I think all of those deserve an answer. Ones that I think you should feel free to say "I'd rather not..." are along the line of, "Can I see your scars?" "How much do you weigh?" etc.
3. Set aside a time and place to talk where both of you are free from distractions.
Expect tears. Expect hugs. Expect it to take ?you a long time to say the words. The first time I told someone about the self injury, it took fifteen minutes for me to just get out the words, "I...I...sometimes...when life gets overwhelming...I hurt myself. On purpose."
Possible Reactions
1. Ignoring the problem.
This happened twice with me. Once when I told my therapist that I self injured. I now think that she simply wanted to work on underlying issues. The other time was when I told my parents. That, too, makes sense. After all, I was graduating from high school at the time. They didn't know how to reapproach the subject with me after I told them. I also didn't tell them much other than "sometimes I hurt myself." If I'd done more of the above, they might have felt more willing to be open about it with me.
2. Distancing themselves/ignoring you.
For me, this happened with a friend who I told over email (DON'T tell people personal stuff like that over email). She lived a thousand miles away from me and simply didn't email me back for months. It hurt, but I broke rules number #1, 2, and 3.
3. Concern ("What can I do to help?")
Sometimes this is helpful, sometimes it isn't. You need to speak up and use your voice here. If it is helpful for the person you told to ask you what you've eaten or if you've hurt yourself, let them know. If you'd rather them not, let them know too. If they try to coerce you into eating and you aren't ready for that kind of help, let them know. They are being "smothering" out of concern for you, not because they hate you and want to force you to do things you don't want to do. For me, sometimes my friends got a little smothering, but it was also helpful to have someone I could say, "I haven't eaten today." to and they would take me to the cafeteria and help me find something I could eat, talk with me, etc, so I woudln't feel so guilty.
4. Gratitude ("Thank you for telling me.")
This was by far the most often seen response and the one I expected the least. People, believe it or not, know that you're telling them because you trust them (though it never hurts to say so) and that it's very hard to tell someone something this personal. Accept their gratitude as genuine and be grateful for it. It's a precious gift!
5. Unconditional Love
This response also baffled me. I thought for sure if anyone found out, they would hate me. To my surprise, the one response I NEVER got was hate. No one ever screamed or ran away in disgust. They may not have known how to respond, but no one hated me for it. Most loved me unconditionally.
6. Confusion ("You what?")
This is where you need to be willing to answer questions. Be prepared with printouts from websites or other information if need be. They are likely quesitoning you because they care and want to understand.