Harpo's House Rules


Life has been created for you to enjoy, but you won't
enjoy it unless you pay for it with some good, hard work.
This is one price that will never be marked down.

You can work at whatever you want to as long as you do
it as well as you can and clean up afterwards and you're
at the table at mealtimes and in bed at bedtime.

Respect what the others do. Respect Dad's harp, Mom's
paints, Billy's piano, Alex's set of tools, Jimmy's
designs, and Minnie's menagerie.

If anything makes you sore, come out with it. Maybe the
rest of us are itching for a fight too.

If anything strikes you funny, out with that too. Let's
all the rest of us have a laugh.

If you have an impulse to do something you're not sure is
right, go ahead and do it. Take a chance. Chances are, if
you don't you'll regret it unless you break the rules
about mealtime or bedtime, in which case, you'll sure as
hell regret it.

If it's a question of whether to do what's fun or what is
supposed to be good for you, and nobody is hurt by which-
ever you do, always do what's fun.

If things get too much for you and you feel the whole
world's against you, go stand on your head. If you can
think of anything crazier to do, do it.

Don't worry about what other people think. The only
person in the world important enough to conform to is
yourself.

Anybody who mistreats a pet or breaks a pool cue is
docked a month's pay.


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