You don't have to speak to be heard. Always answer the important question first. Really important people never have anything really important to say. The best thing to do in a difficult situation is to make an ugly face or offer someone your leg. Puncture a windbag whenever possible. Whatever it is I'm against it. 101 uses for scissors, glue and a blow torch. Beware of strangers selling Tootsie-Frootsie Ice Cream. One properly executed HONK! is worth a thousand words. Never confuse a flash with a fish or a flitz or a flush or a flute. Your Breeder's Guide...Don't leave home without it! Why a duck. When her husband shows up you should lodge with your fleas in the hills. There ain't no Sanity Clause. People are honest but you've got to watch them. There's nothing wrong with lying if it will get you somewhere. If someone gets you down, stick your feet in their lemonade. Sometimes fighting for someone ELSE'S honor is probably more than they will ever do. When in doubt, the password is "Swordfish" Too many codebooks spoil the horse race. You CAN burn the candle at both ends. Take time to have a strange interlude. When making any sort of request, it doesn't hurt to add "And two hard boiled eggs". The Lord Alps those who Alp themselves. Outside of a dog a book is Man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. First there's a Captain, then there's a Lieutenant, then there's a Corpuscle. The Ace of Spades is the most valuable card in a bridge game; it may be played repeatedly, and relied upon to take every trick. Don't pester a man leaning against a building -- he may be the only thing holding it up. Eating too many radishes can make you full of whimsy. Any time you got a lot you gotta too much. You gotta get up early if you wanna get out of bed. When negotiating a contract, don't spoil a friendship over which party is which or whose word is good enough for whom. The straight man may actually be the funniest one. The fifth wheel is not always useless. Never underestimate the baby of the family. If you're going to be funny, do it onscreen. Big brothers don't always know best. Some nicknames don't need explaining. Always say, "yes, sir" and "no, sir." Omit things that you don't think are important. Twelve years is not too long to be in one college. Those who can't do, agent. If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. "Remember that art is art...but then again, water is water." This would be a better world for children if their parents had to eat the spinach. There's nothing like Liberty, except Collier's and the Saturday Evening Post. Wages makes wage slaves. In Alabama, the tusk are loosa. Marriage is impossible only after you're married! Your retirement is the greatest contribution to your field that you can make!
Press the Back button to return.