Aimless Rambling Number 1: Hunting (October 13, 2002)
How can anyone find hunting to be a sport? The whole purpose of a sport is two teams or people competing to finish a certain goal better than your opponent. Like in soccer, the idea is to score more goals than your opponent, or in volleyball, the first team to score a certain number of points.In hunting, the hunter and the deer have totally different objectives. The hunter's goal is to bag a deer while the deer's goal is not to get his fucking head blown off with a semi-automatic rifle. Now that's a sport.

Plus it's not even a real challenge any more. It used to be that hunting took skill. Now all you do is lie in a trench with a grenade launcher, bundled in nice warm clothing, and toting a six pack of beer. The athlete that is the hunter.

The deer must be really pissed off by the whole hunting thing. Before North America was settled by Europeans, the Indians and the deer had a great relationship. They hunted select deer for food, and in return the deer stayed out of their way. Now the deer are being shot because they are "overpopulated." The deer are overpopulated? Have you been to New Jersey? We're the ones who are fucking overpopulated here.

And let's just reverse positions on this whole issue too. Let's say that a bunch of deer came in, tore down your town and put in a forest. Then when you're just hanging around, minding your own business, they gore you with their antlers and then say it's for your own good. Yeah, I'd be pissed too.
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