"Life is Just a Fantasy"
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In 1998, the inaugural season of the National E-mail Fantasy Football League, I had been playing fantasy football for a few years and had some down time at work to hone my skills with some mock drafts on-line. I got together with eleven other guys from all over the United States to perform a series of these mock drafts to get a good idea of who would be drafted and where...this is the key to a successful draft and a successful fantasy football season. From these mock drafts, we decided to start a league of a dozen teams and I was appointed the commissioner. Over the years, some of the guys have come and gone in our league, but a few of the originals still remain. So to celebrate our tenth season in the league, we decided to meet in Vegas for our first "live draft". Most of the guys in the league have not met, while some have, so this would be interesting in two ways...one, how would a live draft differ from our normal "over the internet" draft and two, how would these personalities (and believe me, some personalities are strong) would differ from those that normally communicate over e-mail and how would the league website interact in person for the first time. Not all the teams sent representatives, but this is the story of the guys that did show and the subsequent trip for Amy and Dan with special guest appearance by Matty Rust and friends.
Day 1 (Tuesday): A Chance Meeting.
After US Airways changed our plans by cancelling our straight flight to Las Vegas and forcing us to travel through Charlotte, we arrived in Vegas with about 10-hours of time logged in at airports and on airplanes. We then jumped off our plane and went straight to the check-in counter at the airport for all Harrah�s properties including the Flamingo were Amy and I will be spending the next two days rent-free. After a quick check-in and room key exchange, I was on the horn to Don, one of the guys from fantasy football that kindly offered to meet us with his rental car and save us the extra expense and time of riding in a cab to the hotel. This was our first time to meet Don and only the second fantasy football player that I have met. It is funny how you have a picture of these guys that I have known for 10 seasons and none of them seemed to match up directly with my mind�s eye. Don is the elder in the league in his 50s and very nice, as you can easily tell from the suggestion to chauffeur us around Vegas at one of the world�s busiest airports. Soon Don dropped us off and called it a night as he was also tired from traveling most of the day. We then headed to our room, which was as advertised, ADA-accessible. This means that all amenities in the room had access for wheelchairs including the peepholes, which was not a big deal until we tried to take a shower without flooding the bathroom the next day. We didn�t really care since the room was free and we were in town to win money not bathe. We spent a little time in the room before we went out on the town.
Tommy was the next guy from the league we contacted and met in the hotel lobby. Amy was excited to also meet and exchange stories with another fantasy football wife, but due to Gina�s newly achieved pregnancy she was not up to the visit and stayed in the room. Tommy, one of the loud-mouths of the group, was also not as advertised over the internet, but instead the shy, accountant look came shining through. We quickly left his side so he could tend to his drained wife and moved on to Margaritaville to catch-up with the only participant in the league that I have already met, Eddie. We found Eddie and his wife Gulianna sitting at a table finishing their meal. We did our introductions and soon we were on our way to Caesar�s Palace to check things out. They wanted to get into one of the fashionable clubs, PURE, but Amy and I looked at the line and the clientele and deserted them on our way to Bill�s Gambling Hall (formally the Barbary Coast). Once in our old, comfy place, we finally did some gambling, but with no luck. First we couldn�t find the advertised $5 blackjack table, next we lost at video poker and video blackjack, and finally we lost at Wheel-of-Fortune, so we headed back to the Flamingo dejected. While traveling threw the Flamingo casino, I did get some luck at Crazy-4-Poker at the last minute, but nothing to off-set the loses before it was time to call it quits after a long day of travel and meeting new people.
Day 2 (Wednesday): Does Anyone Else Feel a Draft?
We did plan to sleep most of the morning away, but the time difference caught up with us and instead of trying to force sleep, we decided to use a complimentary coupon we received upon check-in. We got dressed and headed down to the Paradise Garden Buffet for a nice, relaxing breakfast. We sat along the picturesque window from ceiling to floor right next to the coy pond and all the other wildlife in the habitat like true tourists, picture-taking and all. A tranquil meal was an understatement and it was the perfect way to kick-off our first full day in Vegas.
Our next stop in Relaxville, NV was the famous Flamingo pool. We found a place to sit fairly close to the pool so we could cool off as we needed�as fate would have it, we needed to many times with the temperature at or near 100 degrees. We were soon joined by Eddie and Gulianna and then by Tommy and Gina. Because of the eminence of this swimming hole, the Flamingo pool can very crowded and this day was no exception, so we were forced to sit only in close proximity to each other and not next to each other. We overcame this impedance by meeting in the pool to talk and get to know each other. The guys started talking about fantasy football, the common denominator, and I was not �in the know� to what the ladies talked about, but I�m sure it was all about how handsome us men looked (or some men at that pool). After a few drinks and hours in the sun and the pool to cool off, the fantasy football guys started beckoning and getting ready for the draft. Some, like David, even showed up early to meet the commish and get the lowdown on the draft action. David was probably the closest to what I imaged would be like in person�about my age, taller, which goes without saying as a fairly short man, but maybe a little thinner than expected, but basically what I imagined. The draft officially started at 4 PM Vegas time, but because history proved that something always goes astray, we agreed to meet at 2:30 to work out any kinks that would arise. This meant that Tommy, Eddie, and I all left the pool area earlier than the wives to get ready for the big draft.
When 2:30 arrived, the draft participants started to show up�first it was David and his buddy, then Tommy, and then Don. This left just two other stragglers, Scott who no one had met just yet and Eddie who had the computer we were planning on using. Eventually, Scott showed and was definitely the youngest player in the league. He was very quiet and a bit of a loner, but a nice guy. Scott was in the middle of two-week run in Vegas playing nothing but poker tournaments and trying to build a bank-roll�ahhhh, to be young again. After many failed attempts at communication, Eddie and the computer showed soon, but that story�s for another show. We moved down the hall where we planned to do the draft, found a perfect spot with tables and chairs, turned on the computer, and made our first effort to connect to the internet, but found no wireless connectivity. As it turns out in this age of wireless, the hotels are finding new ways of making money and since they can charge your room for the connection, they block out connections at all other areas including this one. As we talked about earlier, here was our first test and we were all happy that we convened early as we walked down the street to Don�s room at the hotel directly behind the Flamingo. Along the long walk (these hotels look closer together than they really are), we talked and got to know each other and stopped to get some libations for the draft party at a convenience store. When we reached the lobby of the Westin, we found an empty Starbucks with many comfy seats. We asked permission to park there for a few hours, but we soon found that there was again no connection and moved to the only spot in Vegas where we knew there would be service because Don already paid for the wireless connection in his room. Once in the room, we were on our way to drafting with time to spare.
The draft was a blast! We had 6 of us in the room and 2 or 3 more on a conference call, so the jokes were flying and the beer flowed like wine. It was like a real, live fantasy football draft. The only complaint was, the draft went slower than we normally go. The entire draft took over 3 hours and it wasn�t because of the on-line drafters, but more because of us in the room. Maybe it was because we just weren�t used to the personal interaction or maybe because we were all drinking, but we were sluggish. We did ultimately finish and the wives and friends awaited our arrival for the after-draft party/dinner in the hotel casino. All three wives showed up dressed to the nines and we came out of the room not looking half as good as we went into the room. I, for one, felt a little bad because Amy looked smashing and I was wearing my Hines Ward jersey and stinking of New Castle Ale, but she didn�t seem to mind too much because she was more concerned with getting something to eat, just like everyone else in the crew.
Don recommended a small, Italian restaurant, called Battista's Hole In The Wall that he heard that was good from a friend in the airport before he left Montana. It was close by and we actually passed it up on our way over to the Westin, so the group all agreed this was the best place to eat. When we got there, we were immediately seated, which was good with one pregnant lady in the group, and found the menu on the wall and complementary house wines and garlic bread on the table. There was also a boisterous wedding reception seated next to us in the restaurant, so we didn�t have to worry about making too much noise. The meal was excellent and had very large portions for all the hungry ladies and gentlemen, but the conversation was really starting to fly now that we all spent some significant time with each other�the guys in the draft and the ladies by the pool while the draft was taking place. All-in-all it was a very nice time and a great place to eat and socialize, but it was time to get back to the gambling.
The guys in the league decided long before we arrived in Vegas and after Eddie�s suggestion that it would be cool to all play in a poker tournament together. Since Scott seemed to be the expert, he picked the midnight tournament at the Stratosphere. We all piled into Don�s rental, which luckily was an eight seater, and went northward. We got there about 20 minutes early and Amy was not to happy to hear the news of the plans for the night, which put me in the doghouse, but I figured I would have company with the other husbands and the ladies could play while we were in the tournament. When Tommy and Eddie dropped out of the plans to be with their wives, it made it worse, but I already paid my $60 and fully expected to be knocked out of the tournament early to get back on Amy�s good side. There were 3 tables for this tournament and with buy-back-ins allowed, the total was about 40 people. After the first break, I was doing pretty well and only Don had gotten knocked out with Scott, David, and I left to win the prize for the league. Some time before the second break, Amy, Tommy, Gina, Gulianna, and Eddie decided to head back to the Flamingo, but I was still going strong. When it got down to the final table, Scott and I were the only ones left to represent the league and I was playing pretty darn good. Soon Scott had no chips remaining and it was down to just me to win it for the league when I ran into some bad luck for the first time. I was put �all in� with Ace-Queen against Ace-8 and was up pretty good until the river showed another 8. This knocked me out in 6th place with the top 4 places getting paid. The best part of the night besides my exceptional play in the tournament was that I played for 3 hours for only $60, but the worst part is I played for 3 hours and came away with nothing�so close! Even Scott congratulated me on a well-played tournament and the guy that knocked me out showed his sincere condolences for my bad beat. The next step was to walk away the table and out of the casino a loser as Don drove me, Scott, and David home to our hotels for the night�s rest.
Day 3 (Thursday): Moving Day
On this morning, I apologized to Amy for the night�s miscommunication, but Amy was not too upset because she caught up with some sleep while I played and we moved on, literally. We packed-up our suitcase and checked-out of the Flamingo. Our next move was to one of our favorite spots to visit on all of our trips to Vegas, the Cheesecake Factory. We walked over to Caesar�s Palace and did some gambling and window shopping along the way to satisfy our slight desires. After lunch, we went to the Mirage to pick-up our tickets for �LOVE�, a Cirque du Soleil show based on the Beatle�s music, which Amy and I were very excited about seeing on Friday. On the way back to the Flamingo to pick-up our bags, we stopped at Treasure Island for some expensive gambling and losing, Casino Royale for some cheap gambling and losing, and O�Shea�s to see Vince Neil�s tattoo parlor and even more losing. By the time we got back to Flamingo, it was almost time to check into the Excalibur so we jumped in a cab and in line to get our room key. After standing in line with all the Wisconsin fans west of the Mississippi (Wisconsin was in town to play UNLV on Saturday and the fans started to show in LARGE numbers with their red shirts everywhere!), we come to find out that we are VIPs and didn�t need to stand with the common-folk. Well, needless to say, this news came too late and after an enjoyable conversation with the desk clerk where Amy said something like, �You have to excuse my husband, he has been drinking all day� we were on our way to our new home for the next three nights.
Once we got all cleaned-up, our next reservation was with the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino and Incubus. We arrived at the hotel a little early so we walked around the small casino once or twice and then stopped to watch a little of the opening game of the NFL season (New Orleans vs Indy) in the sports book to kill time. Once the show was about to begin, we headed back outside to the small arena in the parking lot of the Hard Rock. Surprisingly enough we blended in pretty well with the younger crowd including the hotel guests looking out their balconies barely dressed at times. We didn�t know much of the two opening acts, but the show was rockin�. Although we were mainly there because I love Incubus, Amy was really into the show and especially liked when they played Prince�s �Let�s Go Crazy�. The show lasted a good 3 or 4 hours and it was tough to catch a cab afterwards, but the only other thing to do was gamble and we were both too tired for that alternative. The line moved fast and we were soon on our way to Hooter�s Hotel and Casino for more scantily clad women. Once inside, we played a little Wheel of Fortune with no positive results. We then realized that our stomach�s were telling us it was time to eat and luckily enough the hotel and casino included a Hooter�s restaurant, but unluckily enough the food in the Hooter�s was the same as any other. With the food not quite as good as the view, it didn�t matter because we were hungry to eat anything and that was good enough for us. We finished our meal and walked to our new home at the Excalibur where we called it a night.
Day 4 (Friday): Drinking in the LOVE
One of the reasons we travel to Vegas as a couple in the warmer months, is so that Amy (and I at times) can enjoy just sitting by the pool and relaxing! This is why we enjoy the Flamingo and its famous pool, but the crowd, as I mentioned before, is a down-side to the fame. When we received the invitation to stay for free at the Excalibur via a mail flyer, we were hesitant because my memory of the pool was not that great when I visited it during Rich and Deni�s wedding. The good news came soon after some research over the internet to find that the pool was currently undergoing renovations. The bad news came at check-in that the renovations we not completed to date. As we left our room, walked down the hall, in the elevator, crossed the vast casino, and rounded the bend to the pool area, we anxiously awaited our fate as sun-worshiping guests only to find more good news. We opened the doors to the portion of the pool area that had been finished and perfectly fit the bill! The best part was the crowd, or lack there of, and the comfortable lounge chairs. We soon found out that that was not the best part, but instead the best part was the flowing drinks. Amy began to consume at a rate greater than her tolerance allowed and soon her alter-ego, Giddy-Amy, showed up poolside. We were having an entertaining time trying to balance between sobriety and public drunkenness, between the heat of the desert sun and the chill of the pool water. After a few hours of the balancing act, we took the fun inside to eat.
While I was researching the pool and other amenities at the Excalibur, I ran across a new restaurant in the casino area called Dick�s Last Resort and it looked like fun. When you approach the restaurant, it is easy to see that this in not your normal place to eat. Customers sit with paper hats formed in various shapes and sizes with hand-written insulting phrases on most hats. When you get closer, you can now hear the shouts of the wait-staff exclaiming derogatory statements about the patrons, the decor, the food, and just about anything else under the sun. Amy was inebriated enough to go for just about anything to eat and the normally shy and reserved Amy gave way to an Amy willing to try new things and new places as we walked in for lunch (don�t worry the menu included chicken�she wasn�t that drunk). We sat down at a table and were quickly called names and introduced to our neighboring �sluts� and �jackasses� seated at the surrounding tables. We ordered our food and drinks with extra spit and soon received our hats de jour ever so unsympathetically placed on our heads. Amy�s was in the shape of a Dutch girl with rigid pony-tails and mine was inscribed �Man Whore�. Our drinks soon slammed to the table with 2-foot drinking straws protruding out of the 2-gallon buckets filled just enough to make a splash on the table. As a gimmick, this was one of the most fun but strangest places to eat, however when the food arrived we were both very thrilled with our meals. We recommend and will absolutely come back to this place again, but the first time is definitely the best as you never know where the next insult or flying napkin will come from during this dining experience.
Once we were filled with food and verbal abuse, we returned to the pool for a few more rays and libations, but it wasn�t too long before we headed up to the room to get ready for the big Cirque du Soleil show, LOVE! We were both very eager to see this show�Amy because it was performed by Cirque du Soleil and me because it was based on Beatles music. We decided to take the tram and used our free tickets that Frank passed to us from his visit during the 7/7/7 (July 7, 2007) promotion. Eddie and Gulianna had tickets in the row directly behind ours and we met them at the venue, which was at the Mirage. The auditorium was small and intimate with not a bad seat in the house and we, of course, went the cheap route thanks to Dan so there was a bit of climbing involved. The show was everything we expected and more! The music was off the unreleased recorded tracks and remastered especially for the show. The performers/acrobats/dancers/actors are not as easy to describe and are able to do things not imagined by my little brain. We both went away happy�for our money, this is some best entertainment on the strip!
After the show, Amy, Eddie, and Gulianna all were hungry so we went and caught a quick bit to eat. Our next venture on the agenda was to finally meet up with Tommy and Gina before they left the next day, but Gina was still not feeling well. We agreed to meet Tommy at his Casino, Tuscany Suites, which is off the strip a mile or two. We spent an hour or two talking and gambling with Tommy and lost some money to an all new casino via some bad beats�some by the casino and some brought on myself. This is somewhat complicated story that includes me taking a hit on 18 and 19 before busting and then taking my frustration out on Amy, which is always bad news. Not to worry Amy and I made up and continued playing blackjack with the group before Eddie got bored and wanted to go downtown. The rest of us agreed to get out of this bad luck situation and we said good-bye to Tommy and gave our best to Gina and the impending pregnancy. Once we found the proper place to catch a cab, we were on our way to old Las Vegas. We walked around and went to several of the old favorites like Four Queens, Binion�s Horseshoe, and Golden Nugget. At one point, Gulianna�s feet needed a change of scenery, so they went off to find a store to buy new, more comfortable shoes, but they were never to be found again. Amy and I sat in one section of the Four Queens casino for close to an hour waiting for Eddie, Gulianna, or good luck to emerge, but none of the above ever showed. After growing impatient and tired of waiting especially for luck, we jumped in a cab and received a call from Eddie telling us at least where they were�back at their hotel, but he couldn�t tell us where our luck was, so we went to bed.
Day 5 (Saturday): Walkin� and Talkin�
Amy kicked off the day poolside, while I took his first chance at the limit poker tables. I figured this would be a good way to make my money stretch the entire day and boy, was I wrong. After buying in for $100 and getting marginal cards - enough to make you stay in most hands, but not enough to win a single one - I busted out in less than an hour. For example, I was dealt a suited 10-9 with a flop of three cards of the same suit for an instant flush. After a round of max raising and scaring no one off their hands, another card of the same suit reared its ugly head and I lost to a guy with a king-high flush and that kind of action was typical for the morning. Because that exciting round of poker was half of my gambling allowance for the day and it was gone in an hour, I resigned to playing nickel video poker for the rest of the time until Amy was done sunbathing. This is when I realized that luck was not on my side for the day because even when I have good luck, I have bad luck as I hit for a royal flush worth 4000 credits. That would be $4000 on a dollar machine or $1000 on a quarter machine, but only $50 on my machine or exactly half of what I have already lost for the day. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, I cut my losses and dragged Amy away from the sun bath to start our day�s adventure.
In year�s past, Amy and I took a day to walk up and down the strip to do some window shopping/gambling, but this year we decided to throw in another achievement�drinking. We stopped by Dick�s Last Resort and purchased our extra large drinks of choice and soon on our way down the strip. We hit all the hot spots along the way from our current home, the Excalibur, to our former home, the Flamingo. During the day, the talk around town was the Penn State vs. Notre Dame game after the huge Irish loss to Georgia Tech the week before. Because I was wearing my Penn State shirt, I became the local expert and got asked my opinion of every gambler I ran into that day. Being the ever pessimistic Penn State fan and seeing the large point spread that PSU would have to overcome, I advised each and every person the same by saying, �That is too many points for any Penn State team against Notre Dame.�
By the time we reached the Flamingo, it was time to stop in at Jimmy Buffet�s Margaritaville for two reasons: 1. check the Penn State score and b. visit with my cousin Matty. The visit with Matty and his friends who got into town the night before went very well as we shared gambling stories, but the game was a different story. While it was a good ending for Penn State and the fans, my advice turned out wrong again�final score Penn State 33 � Notre Dame 10 and they easily overcame the large point spread while Notre Dame went the rest of the season and only won 3 games. Good thing I didn�t take my own advice and bet on the game. After hanging with Matt and the gang for a while and resting our weary feet, it was time to head back toward the Southern strip and the Excalibur. Along our travels, we accomplished many of our Vegas tasks: drinking out of a large container along the strip, buying all our souvenirs, seeing the Bellagio fountain show, but most importantly, I got my picture taken with not one, but two showgirls�now it was time get a bite to eat.
We quickly freshened-up in the room and went to the Luxor and Mandalay Bay to look for a good place to eat. I have chronicled this fact in past writings many times, but this end of the strip seems to attract the �pretty people� and this evening was no exception. One of the new things in Vegas is a prime example of this�it seems that there are areas in the casinos popping up everywhere where scantily clad women dance on miniature stages and stripper poles in the pit while the gamblers dribble on the tables. With the Mtv Music Award Show in town, the prettiness of the normal crowd doubled or tripled. Amy and I also had fun watching some of the most attractive people acting like the most important people, not knowing that there is a distinction between the two. Following them around the casino where they walk with such determination to get to the next club or just to be seen is entertainment in itself. When we got to our proposed dinning spot, the House of Blues, we found that there was a show and we were unable to eat there that night. Dejected as we saw the line filled with the enchanted, we looked for another place to eat and found more entertainment along the way. Although we enjoyed the show, we needed to nourish ourselves. Bistro after caf� we found nothing that we sparked our palate, so we abandoned the idea of dining at either of these resorts and went to New York, New York. This is where we found a place right down our alley�a traditional Mexican Restaurant. We were very happy with our choice as they filled our plates with more food than we could eat. After dinner we called it quits and retired to our room.
Day 6 (Sunday): Are You Ready for Some Football!
One thing I was very excited about for this trip was the opportunity to watch all the NFL games with a vested interest in the games while holding betting receipts. This day was going to be all about the games both betting on them and watching them. The plan was to watch with who ever were left from the draft in the fantasy football league and to also try to meet up with Matt and his friends. Unfortunately, those plans failed miserably. I could not get in touch with anyone until finally Don called me back. He was the one with the transportation, so we were happy to hear from him. We made plans to check-out and have him pick us up to watch the games. The next step was to find a place to watch the games. This is easier said than done because every place was crowded. We first endured Bally�s, but we stood for the first half of the early games. Don suggested that we try his casino, South Point, which was miles south of the strip, but we hoped it would be less crowded. So at half-time we jumped in the car and drove for miles. This place was definitely off the beaten path, but was huge and when we arrived at the sport�s book, there were actually places to sit and they were comfortable! This was a good place to nest for the afternoon with beers, sammiches, and football.
During the games, I tried all the contacts interested in watching football with us. Matt had too much fun the night before and used this time to catch up on slumber, and Eddie was shopping with Gulianna. Once the late afternoon games started, we decided to meet up with them at the Venetian. On the way back onto the Las Vegas strip, we stopped to check another Vegas accomplishment off the list�a picture with the famous �Welcome to Las Vegas� sign. We pulled over in the median and Don was gracious enough to take Amy and mine picture in front of the sign. We offered to return the favor, but Don refused and we were back in the car riding toward the Venetian. After calls back-and-forth for what seemed hours, we finally found them and we were all on our way. While everyone else was hungry, Amy and I were not, but we joined them for a bite to eat at the Venetian food court. After completing the dining experience, Don was on his way back to his hotel for the night. The couples went on to check off another important Vegas activity from the list�a Gondola ride on the outdoor canals. Once the romance of the gondola calmed, we decided to also part ways and walk back to the Excalibur to wind down the trip. When we arrived at the Excalibur, we had a few hours to reflect and watch the night game (Giants vs Dallas). This was a good time to start calculating the wins and losses of the day. Just like everything else in Vegas, beginner�s luck ruled and I won more than I lost and came home with money in my pocket for the first time in a long while. That was as good as any to end yet another wonderful trip to Vegas�we can�t wait to get back!
September 4-9, 2007
