D&D Villainfied
By Lindsey C
       "Welcome to Rockfort Island!"
        Shade gave an evil laugh.
        "Hey, yeah I heard about this place, is the virus still active?" Sludge said worriedly.
        Alarmingly, one of the many bodies that were scattered among the ground gave a hungry moan and started pulling its upper half towards them.
        "No..." She took out a magnum. "But some of the victims are."

        "Realm," Shade yelled throughout the corridor once they arrived at the Residence, "I got them. Do you have the characters ready?"
        No answer.
        "REALM!" she screamed.
        As if in answer, one of the doors upstairs opened then slammed followed by light running footsteps then another opening and closing of a door.
        "Shade!" A young woman jumped from the balcony. "Get him away, stop him, he's evil I tell you, EVIL!"
        "Don't rely on her, lady love, she can't stop me." Another person jumped right behind his victim. "AH-HA!"
        The young woman gave a cry of alarm and landed a backward kick into the man's stomach sending him against a marble pillar.
        "Ouch," the red-haired man groaned, "that was uncalled for, baby, unnecessary roughness."
        "You started it, you and those fangs of yours. Look what they did to my neck. You left bite marks." She lifted her brown curly hair away from her slender neck.
        "Can you make the Interview With the Vampire Sequel later?" Shade held back the girl as she prepared to attack the man again. "Did you finish the characters?"
        Realm stopped struggling and nodded.
        "Shall we, then?"

        "So I am a half ogre," Nukum read his character sheet. "Hey, neat, I have an axe. Cool!"
        "What the hell is a Paladin?" Blight demanded.
        "A healer," Tasuki explained.
        "Oh, no, that is not my style," she shook her head.
        "Fine." Shade took her sheet and stole Riggers. "Have the drow!"
        "But-" Rigger protested.
        "There is no such thing as a Paladinless campaign, and you are going to heal people," Shade hissed. "K?"
        "Does this mean I can cast spells?" Skumm raised his hand.
        "Unless wizards passed a new law about spell celibacy, then yes," Shade informed.
        "I'm a Barbarian," Sludge said disgustedly. "Isn't that like a caveman?"
        "Costume wise, yes, intelligence, no. You just like to fight a lot, and check out your weapon."
        "No way, a double-edged, two-handed sword! This guy rocks."
        "I can steal stuff," Greedily said as he crammed a handful of chips down his throat.
        "Yes," Shade nodded, "that's what thieves do."
        "What does a bard do?" Plunder waved his paper around.
        "You're an entertainer," Realm answered him. "You tell stories or you play a little guitar thing for money."
        "I'm a beggar?" he was shocked.
        "No, as a bard you have a lot of different skills, like thievery, wizardry, and other tricks."
        "Do you like yours, Captain Pollution?" Shade dared him to say anything.
        "What's there to like?" he scowled. "I'm a dwarf, a smelly dwarf."
        "You people suck." Shade snatched his character sheet. "There, you're a Minotaur."
        "Alright!" he whooped.
        "Why don't I like the sound of a Ranger?" Zarm spat.
        "Because a Ranger is someone like Captain Planet, spending time in the woods and tending to lost, frightened and hurt little creatures." Shade leaned over and looked at him with a wry smile.
        "You're dead!" he grabbed for her.
        "Come on Zarm, be a sport, we have to have a Ranger," she gripped his wrist. "Face it, you shouldn't have pushed me down. Besides the only time you have to act all nature-like is if you see someone hurting a tree or something."
        "This is going to be fun," Blight whispered to Plunder.
        "What are those two?" he referred to Realm and Tasuki.
        "She's a swanmay, and he's a monk."
        "I'm afraid to ask what you are!"
        "I-" She sat back in her chair. "-Am God!"


To be continued...
Home
Captain Planet Page
CP Fanfics
D&D index
Part 3
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1