Well I'm glad I survived that. No I'm not talking about a hunting trip with our beloved Vice President Dick Cheney. What I'm talking about is another long, hard, cold, cruel Wisconsin winter. And with the end of winter and the arrival of warmer temperatures comes the Flambeau Freewheelers Bicycle Club season. And so with no further ado, here is the season opening schedule:

Wednesday, April 5 Last Chance Bar, Rib Lake.

Wednesday April 12 Phillips, meeting place to be announced.

Wednesday April 19 Medford, Bryan's house. (Sorry this won't be The Pie Ride. But we will have one this year again.)

At this time permit me to mention the usual disclaimers, general information, and other legalese. The first three rides of the year are small chain ring rides. If you show up at a ride with a mountain bike I guess we'd let you use the big ring as long as you don't go all the way down on the rear cluster. Tearing off your small ring and leaving just the big ring would be considered unsportsmanlike conduct. Your punishment would be to watch reruns of the Rolling Stones Super Bowl Half time show.

The half way rule is still in effect. We won't drop anyone before the half way point unless they wave us off and tell us to ride on without them.

The Pie Ride will be the last Medford ride in June. This seems to be the time when a number of berries are available. The date for this ride used to jump around and now I'm trying to come up with a more predictable date.

Finally, and I hate to think about this, but the season finale ride will start at 6:00 PM instead of 6:30.

In spite of the generous donation we made to the Harry Whittington Medical Recovery Fund, we still have $52.97 in the Club treasury.

A number of people have asked me how does a person engineer a great Club ride. I think the answer is easy. Through a methodical and detailed study of the Club, the solution to this question is close at hand.

First, you must perform a finite analysis of the ride route to ensure that an interesting and challenging course has been selected.

Here are three things that I'd like to see happen in 2006.

First, I'd like to see us get back to doing the Highway C cleanup out of Prentice. We used to make this a combination cleanup and ride. I believe our name is still on the signs. I'd say consider this the equivalent to trail maintenance if you were a mountain biker.

The second thing that will happen is 2006 is that we will order new Club jerseys. I've already been in contact with the Pyro man.. Shayne and Vicki should find the sign up sheet in their spring newsletter mailing. I'll ask them to start circulating that among the Phillips membership. If everything falls into place I'd like to send the order off by May 1.

The last thing that I'd like to see is the return of the 50 mile Rib Lake Ride. As I'll expand on later, the day with the latest sunset is Wednesday, June 23. The sun will set on this date at 8:53 PM. With a little planning I think we could readily do this ride in 2006.

Bicycling magazine had good old "Tex" Armstrong on the cover of a back issue with the caption Thanks Lance.

Thanks for what I'm not entirely sure. So in the interest of saying, "Don't let the screen door hit you in the ass on the way out" let's take a look at what I'll be forever thankful for.

First there is you habit of racing the Tour De France only and using everything else as a training ride. After the Tour you'd disappear to who knows where. You weren't at Dick Cheney's "undisclosed location" by chance were you? All of the greats raced from Milan San Remo through the Tour of Lombardy. But since you were punching Chris Carmichael's meal ticket, I'm sure he didn't want to burn you out or risk a less than stellar performance in another race.

How about the deal with the Skidstrong organization? Lance thought that the people who were using that name were getting a little too close to the Livestrong thing and went to court to stop their use of that name.

Lance is now a team director for Discovery Channel and has a financial interest in the team. How'd you like to be pedaling up an Hors De Category climb just about ready to forcibly eject your morning breakfast when Lance, reeking of Shiner Bock, is learning out the window exhorting you to pedal harder? If it was me, I'd stop, climb off of the bike, and be the first person to wrap a Trek Madone around Lance's fat head thereby laying to rest the question of the pliability of carbon fiber.

However, perhaps we should thank Lance for at least one or two things. Now that he's gone OLN will no longer be the Only Lance Network. And we will have a new group of riders battling it our for the Tour victory. Best of all Cheryl Crowe can go back to the entertainment business and leave us cyclists alone. When Cheryl and Lance split it was pretty funny that they were asking people to respect their privacy during this difficult time. Ha, what a crock! When there was some publicity to be had the media was more than welcome. As someone commenting in a on-line forum said only dates women who look like his mother.

chattin' with chaney

FFBC News: Thank you for meeting with us Mr. Vice president.

DC: You weren't followed here today, were you? In this day of global terrorism one cannot be too careful.

FFBC News: Gee I don't think so. Your security staff blindfolded us before we got in the car to be delivered her today.

DC: OK, good. Did I mention I'm holding a Al-Quida shoot later this month? Now what is it that you wanted to ask me.

FFBC News: Since we are a bicycle club we were wondering on how you felt about certain bicycle related issues.

DC: I can tell you back when I worked at Haliburton, faithfully executing no-bid government contracts, that we didn't have any commie pinko bike racks there, if that is what you are asking. We were trust worthy, loyal Americans and burned oil to get to work.

My brother mentioned this as we were sitting around at a family gathering. I never gave it much thought until I researched it a bit. The so called longest and shortest days of the year (days with the most and least amount of daylight) don't work as you would think.

If you go to the US Navel Observatory web site you will find a link to look up the time of day for sunrise and sun set. You can get sun rise and sun set for an entire year if you like. In 2005 the sun rose later and later until you reached December 28, 2005. At that point the sun rose at 7:40 AM. The sun continued to rise at 7:40 AM until January 8, 2006 at which point it rose at 7:39 AM and then headed in that earlier and earlier direction. each day.

For 2006 the sun will set earlier and earlier each day from the end of June until December 6, 2006. On December 6, the sun will set at 4:19 PM. It will continue to set at 4:19 PM until December 14 where it sets a minute later and then sets a minute later each day.

For our season opener, which is April 5 the sun will set at 7:34 PM. For the season finale which is August 30, the sun will set at 7:39 PM.