Wishing

In my pool of wanting,
I wonder how I seem to show
a single sign of caring
for another.
I wonder how anyone can see me as
independent
when I seem to
dwell
on everything they say,
everything they do.

Wishes for cues about me
from them
are hopeless,
because they won't.
They won't tell me
what they see,
not truthfully,
not at all.

I wish for too much from others.
I wish for them to know
everything,
or nothing,
without any insight from me--
impossible, I know.

Sighs all around at my
silly nature,
laughs passed from mouth to mouth
as you see me blush with my
insecurities.

Everyone has them . . .
so?
Isn't it possible that mine are worse?
Or am I really as happy as I show?
Why do I analyze this,
when I know it will do nothing,
just as everything will do nothing.

Thoughts of this wish,
thoughts of this desire
for that one person
to come along,
bestow a hug,
bestow a new mind,
bestow trust in me.
Back home!
Songs of Me
...
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