So Weird

Owwwwwwwww-yeah!

I see spots of colors
on me,
they see spots
of insanity.
They look at my body
and want it so much,
I say, "hell, come over
and touch."

Yeah . . ..

Thinking that maybe
a kiss can mean
I can let the real me
be seen.
But then they show how they feel,
they cut me apart,
they do what they want
they carve in my heart.

But I'm standing here wishing
I wasn't so weird,
I'm standing here lying to myself.
I know how I feel inside,
I know what I'm faking,
I know I'm not normal,
I'm so wasted, so weird.

Wanting attention,
all of the time,
I guess laughter
is my crime.
I want them to stare,
I want them to turn,
I try anything to show
I don't care.

If I can get them
to like me,
I can relax
momentarily,
but as soon as I forget
that they don't believe
I can be sad,
I know they'll leave.

But I'm standing here wishing
I wasn't so weird,
I'm standing here lying to myself.
I know how I feel inside,
I know what I'm faking,
I know I'm not normal,
I'm so wasted, so weird.

Wearing the smiles
to cover my cries,
they don't know
when I socialize
I don't know who I am,
I just gleam all sure,
and I act so happy,
so immature.

(No, it's not
who I am.)

Dead words with laughter
soften the blow,
I can let it all out
and still not show
that I am unstable,
you can kill me now,
I can't stand up for me,
I don't know how.

And I'm standing here wishing
I wasn't so weird,
I'm standing here lying to myself.
I know how I feel inside,
I know what I'm faking,
I know I'm not normal,
I'm so wasted, so weird.

I could cry every night
and still not know
that what I am doing
is putting on a show.

I like to make them happy,
I want them to smile.
I like to make them laugh,
I want them to smile.

And so I'm standing here wishing
I wasn't so weird,
I'm standing here lying to myself.
I know how I feel inside,
I know what I'm faking,
I know I'm not normal,
I'm so wasted, so weird.

I'm so wasted, wasted, so weird.

But I'm standing here wishing
I wasn't so weird,
I'm standing here lying to myself.
I know how I feel inside,
I know what I'm faking,
I know I'm not normal,
I'm so wasted, so weird
Back home!
Songs of Me
Out There
...
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