| Silly Things Said (by me and other people) |
| "I am my sunshine." "I didn't realize I was the one who was so brilliant!" "You mean the window has to be open for a window fan to work?" "The sky provides a nice atmosphere for us." "People don't get you until an hour after you're done." |
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| "I like clouds." "I'm a big fan of the sky." "Don't you ever fall off the bed?" "How do they get the peanut butter in the pretzels?" "I like cubicles!" "I said, 'do you love me?' and she said 'no, but that's a real nice ski mask!'" |
| "Usually at this time of year when you see a firetruck, there is a Santa Claus on top!" "Well, it's not like Canada has any real claim to the Rockies, therefore, Germany has no real claim to the Alps!" |
| "'I should change my major to stalking!' 'I don't think they have that major, maybe in Independent Study?'" |
| "What makes a rhino angry, I mean, come on, that's funny!" |
| "Toe-socks are flirtatious." |
| "that's quite the away message. i found it enlightening that i learned the german for "washing myself." You have created an away message that is both educational and informative, for not only did i learn where you were, i also learned a language . . . oh, you're away. oh, yeah . . . that's kind of a multicultural away message isn't it? heh, heh. . . . and a little suggestive too, i might add . . . can you tell who i am imitating?" |
| "Most people are not like most people." |
| "this is a breakthrough, I thought of a musical instrument when you said keyboard. I'm not just a computer nerd! hehe" |
| "'so you're a math major now?' 'just a wannabe'" |
| "so it's the limit of brown as brown approaches infinity, since there can be no black hair" |
| "apparently I had sex with someone" |
| "sandbox sells my email out like it's a two-bit whore" |
| "so you want me to type something important enough to publish on your page?" |
| "They're so much fun, because you can just go bam!" |
| "It's certainly tongue in something!" |
| "Zero is the sound of one hand clapping. Zero is what happens when a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it. Zero is why the chicken crossed the road. Zero is where your socks disappear when you wash them. Zero is." |
| "Zero mathematically is the center point of infinity. The exact middle of eternity. The page marker in a book that has no beginning and no end. Zero is very, very important and is the only integer that is unmistakable at a dinner party. While other numbers are no more nearer the end or beginning of whatever boring story it may be telling than the next or the preceding number, zero is distinguishable on that slide rule. It is the fulcrum of the greatest lever that can exist. Zero is my hero." |
| To read more about zero from this guy, go here. |
| "[You can] save the world with your crime fighting integrals!" |
| "The math building feels like home . . . it's all mine!" |
| "If you get a trumpet, you'll become a sex machine!" |
| "'They're all the same.' 'Oh no! It's a communist!'" |
| "I miss footie pajamas--don't you just love footie pajamas? I wish it was respectable for someone who is 18 to wear footie pajamas." |
| "Eight?" |
| "They're as dumb as a bed, because it is a common fact that beds are dumb." |
| "Little bit . . . little bit . . . little bit!" |
| "I know I don't deserve it, but can I have the world please?" |
| "Rain!" |
| "'Eh.' 'Eh yourself' 'Is that even possible? How does one "eh," anyway?'" |
| "'You know what would be really funny?' 'A ferret in a jar of Ragu?'" |
| "I'm Satan, but you can call me Bubba." |
| "I can't! You're [Alyssa's] the man!" |
| "Man, I'm dead, that sucks." |
| "It is a special clock--it tells the time when you look at it." |
| "It looks like a teepee . . . oooo it's a ham!" |
| "He's a sexy bitch, whoosh!" |
| "Hippo attack---aaaaaaah!" |
| "I'm not wearing any pants!" |
| "Sexiness is the attraction females feel for males." |
| "'What [did he say]?' 'Migration . . . like birds . . . like birds of prey!'" |
| "Oh, look! There's my underwear!" |
| "You should hire your head out." |
| "In high school. I didn't go like like this at all! <strikes a pose>" |
| "It's fun being a plane! <maniacal laughter>" |
| "This is really chewy . . .ahh!!! . . .it makes you look like a cow." |
| "'My ponytail is falling--' 'Just like your love!'" |
| "When the bra and the shirt combine, you will have boobs of STEEL!" |
| "rawr!" |
| "Don't want to talk to a puppet!" |
| "I would prefer someone who doesn't fly or blow to smithereens." |
| "I get thrills out of my own breasts!" |
| "'I've got some powerful hips!' 'Ugh! you could bear a child with those!'" |
| "She's got that come-hither-boobs look." |
| "The only good man out there is Fred Astaire, and he's dead." |
| "It's like Kenny G on Xtasy!" |
| "I wore this coat for him!" |
| "What was that thing you just said, or I just said that was funny?" |
| "Eep!" |
| "I wish I could go to an island and have an enlargement of my body size: Giant Alyssa, rawr." |
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| "I should close the page and do work but the bouncing rhinos are addicting to watch - AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!!!" |
| "The rhinos triple-team, but the blob keeps bouncing back!" |
| "'Did you think the blob was female?' 'Umm, I didn't know.' 'I'm not really sure, I probably need to see another . . . one of the opposite gender, and then I could differentiate'" |
| "These rhinos look pissed at me . . . oh, they're not fully loaded. They must want their horns . . . ack, now they're mad AND have big horns!" |
| "You know, "tool" is a slang word." |
| "It was like really weird, because you see, my mirror works in the dark!" |
| "Woah, I'm more dead than I am Italian!" |
| "'When is a good time to get pregnant?' 'Tomorrow.'" |
| "You will probably want to be married and have 50 kids before having sex." |
| "You were hooting at my booty------hooty booty!" |
| "I was looking at all these quotes from me, and I thought, 'man, I'm kind of dumb.'" |
| "'But we're going to kill them!' 'And there will be dancing, dancing in the streets!'" |
| Bush in his speech, "We refuse to live in fear!" Alyssa, "I do! I have GAD!" Sarah, to Bush, "So fight that!" |
| "The mindset of a squirrel is funny--you can see them just thinking, 'Uh oh, people, I am going to run away from the people, but there is something over by the people that I want--what do I do? Oooo! Run away!'" |
| "Sometimes you see a tree without a bag, and you wonder where the bag went, and if somebody stole the bag, and if so, is someone walking around with a tree bag somewhere . . . and then you feel sorry for the tree, and wonder if it misses the bag, and then you stop thinking about it, because you have other stuff to do . . . like homework." |
| "You're turning our room into a House of Lies!" |
| "That's because the walk from here to the bathroom is a walk of glee!" |
| "Come on, wouldn't you want a guy inside your shirt, too?" |
| "'Ah, it mooed at me!' 'Eek!' 'Did yours moo at you?' |
| "It was like birth all over again!" |
| "Before you climb a tree you must start a battle." (A Buji Proverb a la Sarah) |
| "China can suck its egg noodles." |
| "He had these stress balls. He didn't seem to have a problem with me having my hand on his . . . um, I'm going to stop myself there." |
| ... |