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Razorskin
[7/23/02]
Cast: Meg Tilly, Ione Skye, Roddy McDowall, Roy Dotrice
Director: Gabrielle Beaumont
Carmilla is loosely (the kind of loose that makes Pamela
Anderson look like a nun) based on the classic horror short story
of the same name. In this version, a gentleman and his daughter
live on their own on what I would guess is a Civil War era plantation.
One night, while on a walk, they witness a horse-driven carriage
turn over, killing everyone inside except a young woman, who they
take back to their home. While taking care of the young woman,
the daughter and the girl become close friends, but when people
start turning up dead, it becomes clear that the girl, Carmilla,
is a vampire.
First and foremost, the acting in the movie is, well, mediocre.
Maybe it's the script or maybe it's the low-dollar cast, but for
the most part, everyone acts like they're wooden puppets. I get
the feeling that this is a high school production that unfortunately
made it to VHS. The only time someone seems like they're actually
acting is when Roddy McDowall comes in, but even then, it's just
a caricature of every other role he's played. And the supposedly
Louisiana accent he has is insulting to anyone with a hint of
Creole in their blood.
Outside of the so-called story and acting, most everything else
about the film is rather frightening. It's sad when production
values are more frightening than the actual feature. Special effects
consist of Carmilla fading in and out (an effect that was mastered
in the 30s, but seems to be the only thing the producers can do
consistently), rubber bats molesting one victim and Roddy McDowall
getting stabbed through the head with a bedpost length wooden
stake. The set was most likely shot on a Civil War National Park
and the costuming consists of two prom dresses and some clothes
borrowed from Civil War reinactors. The person behind the soundtrack
should have his John Tesh collection taken away from him.
So, what's good about this film? It's around an hour long. Apparently,
that was the crap quota they had to fill. To be honest, it's not
the worst film I've ever seen, but this one could surely sneak
attack unsuspecting viewers if they happen upon it. Not even a
plot twist near the end of the movie is done well enough to be
a shinning point for this travesty.
Fans of the story, or even people who have the short story somewhere
in their county, will be pissed about Carmilla, the movie.
Avoid like the plague.
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