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| Pet Peeve |
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[9/24/02]
Yep, when it comes to games, I can forgive a lot of things. Weak
graphics aren't really an issue as long as they're not so bad
as to be insulting. A certain level of quality is expected in
this generation, but certain flaws, in small doses, can be ignored.
Poor voice acting? I'll live with it. I watch enough anime and
have seen enough schlock horror B-movies that bad acting doesn't
really phase me. Tedious gameplay? I work a 40 hour desk job.
I can do tedious standing on my head. What really annoys me?
The in-game camera.
So, really, how hard is it to make an in-game camera that doesn't
suck? I've seen it happen before in Buffy
and The
Thing. But, in all fairness, The Thing's camera is
rooted to your character's body, so it's basically a FPS camera
attached to a third person action/shooter. My current offenders
(as I'm still playing both games) to this issue: Mario
Sunshine and Kingdom
Hearts.
In neither game is it so bad that it actually hampers gameplay
(like it did with EOE,
Men
in Black 2 and Hidden
Invasion), but all the same, it's like having to control two
separate entities during the length of a game. In Mario,
the camera was okay until it maliciously decides to spin around
behind a wall or in a location that's next to useless for you.
The number of times I made leaps of faith just because the camera
was in a place that made me unable to see where I was. In Kingdom
Hearts, though, the camera was good at following, but in the
heat of battle, it always seemed to be too close in. And, God
Forbid if you locked onto an enemy that bounced around. There
were times where it was just best to blindly hammer at the controller
buttons and hope for the best.
Both Dead
to Rights and Prisoner
of War had issues where the camera tended to place itself
in bad spots, even though you could move it on yourself for the
most part. In fact, in Dead To Rights, the camera loved
to spin around to the worst location possible after every cutscene.
And there were spots where the camera wouldn't turn at all. Of
course, in these spots, it would be nice for a little flexibility.
With this being said, is the in-game camera one of those features
that companies just try to get right enough to make the game playable?
Some developers have managed to get it right, but a lot haven't
and don't even seem to try. I mean, didn't Nintendo have camera
issues with the last Mario game they put out? You'd think
6 years would be enough time to fix it.
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| 8.0 |
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[8/27/02]
The uproar and fallout has begun. Gamespot gave Super
Mario Sunshine a 8.0. Yep, a measely 8.0. Which means the
title is only great, not "the bestest game to EVAR BE MAYDE!!!!!".
Which, of course, leaves the Nintendo Fanboys gathering up pitchforks
and torches so they can charge the offices of Gamespot and burn
Jeff Gerstmann in effigy. But, before you start a riot in your
local city, take the time to actually read the review. Yes, read.
That thing that most of you don't do. "It got a 7.5? Must be crap,
then." Here's a few choice lines from the review:
- "Occasional technical issues also make for quite a bit
of frustration, such as clipping problems that cause you to fall
through objects or get you stuck inside walls or fences. While
a few level goals truly stand out and will remind you of why you
love the Mario series in the first place, many of the game's goals--particularly
the red coin challenges--are simply tedious, and completing them
feels more like a relief than a reward."
- "You'll also eventually get to ride on Mario's dinosaurlike
sidekick, Yoshi, but unfortunately he seems like he was thrown
in as an afterthought. Yoshi is only useful for his strange ability
to spit fruit juice all over the place, which in turn is used
for only one required puzzle and a handful of optional ones."
- "But you'll also have to spend time controlling the game's
camera. Actually, much of the game's difficulty comes from having
to keep the camera in check while performing Mario's otherwise
simple tasks. The game is slow to auto-correct the camera angle
when you change direction, and as a result, you really have to
stay on top of the C stick to make sure you can see what you need
to see."
- "Super Mario Sunshine's FMV also houses some of the lousiest
voice-over work to be found on the GameCube. None of the voices
fit particularly well. Princess Peach sounds too ditzy, Mario
is limited to grunts and other nonverbal communications, and the
game's bad guys are completely miscast and downright disappointing."
While I am not saying that I agree with this review (as I just
picked my copy up), the reviewer does seem to make some good reasons
why the game got a lower score. He even mentioned that the game
is basically an upgrade to Super Mario 64. And with all
that's said, I'm actually surprised the game got such a good grade.
If this were anything besides Mario, I would guess that it got
a lower score.
But, let's be honest, if you're getting your panties in a wad
over this, give up videogaming. Seriously. And think about killing
yourself. It would do the gene pool a favor. It's one review.
If it makes you feel better, remind yourself that Nintendo Power
gave Mario a perfect score. Just don't waste my time complaining
about it. And, make sure to never mention another Gamespot score
ever again. When they give the new Zelda a 10, don't open your
hypocrital mouth to say how Gamespot got it right.
And in the end, the last laugh is Jeff Gerstmann's. He get's
paid to play games and write his opinion. You don't. HA!
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| I'm lazy |
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[8/14/02]
Yeah, I'm a lazy bum. I haven't made the effort to make any new
updates to the site recently. This'll have to do. Don't like it?
Tough. Learn to cope.
Found a copy of Timesplitters for $20 at WalMart. I don't
usually make game purchases at Wally World, as I'm too busy trying
not to go off on the bottom of the evolutionary ladder, but for
$20, I'll swallow my pride and plunk down the greenbacks. Of course,
this wasn't without the sales clerk, who apparently thinks he's
a video game expert, even at the greasy skinned age of 18, arguing
with me about the aspects of the game. He was so damn certain
that it had a story mode. When I say story mode, I mean that there's
an actual story with characters potentially interacting, not a
series of missions that take you from point A to point B to pick
up and item and then back to point A to finish the level and unlock
more crap. And then he spewed off some other crap, but by that
time, I figured he was too stupid to waste my attention.
Got the game home, and as I said before, the "story mode" is
not really a story mode. It's just an excuse to unlock shit for
the arcade mode, which is, as God as my witness, some of the most
fun I've had in a while. Timesplitters includes three things that
I think all FPS in general should have:
1) Customizable controls - Fully. If I want to shoot the gun
by turning the right analog stick, then I should be able to (not
that I've tried). And since I've grown more in favor with FPS,
this is a good thing. Nothing like getting a game with ass controls
and then forcing myself to remember what button does what.
2) Bots in multiplayer - For those of us who either don't have
friends or don't have many friends or don't want friends because
that might dirty up our hermit cave. Not like having ass loads
of people to kill or be killed by in a game. Kind of like playing
online, except without the assholes. Or lag. Or cheaters.
3) Map maker - I adore being able to make my own maps for deathmatch.
I love making long halls packed with weapons that force enemies
to run into your lazy gunfire at the end. And since the map maker
is easy to pick up and fairly forgiving if you don't get it at
first, just about anyone can use it. Hell, after using Adobe Illustrator
and Macromedia Flash, this is like building something in Notepad.
Or with Legos.
Unfortunately, the online aspect seems to have been removed
from the upcoming sequel, but considering that playing online
seems less and less attractive by the day, this really doesn't
make me too sad. To be honest, with every new article or preview
about online gaming, I grow more and more unconcerned about it.
I talk to these gamers on the internet on a daily basis and considering
the amount of feces most of them choose to post, I have no doubt
that a large percentage of gamers will do nothing but ass up my
enjoyment of online gaming. I guess if it wasn't for Resident
Evil Online (love killing them zombies), I'd have no real
reason to plug my consoles into a phone line.
Yes, phone line. I also think broadband is hugely over rated.
George Bush tells me I need it. Microsoft tells me I need it.
My local ISP tells me it'll be $40 MORE a month to get.
I'm waiting for George or Bill Gates to actually foot the bill
so I can be on the Internet faster. Until then, I'll have no problems
waiting the few extra seconds for my favorite websites to load.
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