(Limerick)

 

I once met a young maiden from Cork

Who dined daily on mutton and pork

She pursued me in haste

Like a pig I was chased

From her board to her bed with a fork!

 

New York, ca. 1968

 

 

(Bastard Limerick)

 

I once met an old dyke from Dijon

Who hadn’t had head in an eon

Her sex life was rotten

Because she’d forgotten

The Grey Poupon to go down on!

 

 

IF I VAZ …

 

From a late 16th century Greek Sephardic nursery rhyme, later becoming Ashkenazi by way of the Turkish conquests in Eastern Europe and adapted subsequently to the late 20th century Hungarian-Jewish hip New York dating scène.  It is to be sung to the tune of Grieg's In the Hall of the Mountain King (kind of).

 

If I vaz a rhetor ║ viz za gift of gab

I betchya I could ghet her ║ in za taxi cab

I betchya I could stupf her ║ zo's her zocks cum off

Before vee ghet to ZoHo ║ and my cock falls off