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| The Bourbon Biscuit Dimension |
| Things are very different there. Horses wear cardigans. |
| Earth isn't called Earth. It's called Chocolate Starfish. It was renamed in 1991 by Liberal Democrat extremist MC Hammer, after a whimsical hour on the seafront. Dogs are yellow. And green. But never brown. Oh no, never brown. Les Dennis is not a popular family entertainer - he has a very quiet life selling plastic moulds for pen lids. He's very good at it. Funnily enough, he sold a good few to a family who once appeared on Family Fortunes - which in the Bourbon Biscuit Dimension is hosted by Robin Cook, who has no eyelids. There are no Gods - only pastry. And boy is it good pastry. All Gods were banned by Timmy Mallett on grounds of he didn't think they wore silly enough glasses. Orgasms are a slightly queezy sensation in the stomach and upper thighs - not something people strive to achieve - being sick is the most sensuous experience in this dimesion. There are no children, just stupid hairless adults. Cats know Latin. Light Entertainment is illegal. |
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| 'Take me back to where I came from, before I throw my computer out of the window and allow naked dogs to watch me use pen and paper for the rest of the day'. |