My Testimony
    I was blessed when I was growing up.  I had a godly mother who didn�t just send me to church; she took me with her.  I was 10 years old when the Holy Spirit convicted me of my need for salvation.  We were in church on a spring Sunday morning, in 1974, and for the life of me, I can�t remember the preacher�s name or even what the sermon was about that particular Sunday.  After all, that was 30 years ago.  All I know is that when the invitation was given for sinners to accept Jesus Christ as their Saviour, I knew he was talking directly to me.  I started singing �Just As I Am�, and feeling something inside me, urging me to take that first step into the aisle.  I knew that if I could just talk to that man of God, he would know what I needed to do.  That very first step was hard to take, but I took it.  I don�t remember how I got down to the front of the church; I could have been flying, because I don�t remember taking the rest of the steps to reach that preacher.  I told him that I was a sinner and I believed that Jesus died and rose again for me.  I asked Jesus to forgive me and I believed on Him to save me.  From that moment on I knew, that now, I belonged to Jesus and that He had saved me.
     There have been times in my life that I have tried my best to get away from the Lord, and neglect my time with Him.  But in His mercy and through His grace, He always chastened me, and brought me back to Him.
     Several years ago, I asked the Lord to use me in a special way.  In prayer, I told the Lord that I was willing to do whatever it took, even die, to see my Dad get his heart right with God.  Be very sure you are prepared for the answer to what you pray for, because I believe that the Lord takes our prayers literally.  I told Him, whatever it took, to prepare me for it, and use me to see His will done in my Dad�s life.  I didn�t ask the Lord to give my Dad cancer, but He did answer my prayer in His own way. 
     The Lord broke me then.  I had no strength of my own, and I wondered where my faith was.  The Lord showed me that I needed only Him, and He would supply everything I truly needed.  He put me through the fire to refine me then, and I believe that as I go through each day, that He is still refining me, though the fire isn�t always as hot.
     There are many things that my heart and my flesh desire.  Wants that I can�t fully describe to anyone on earth.  The Lord knows about each and every one of them.  I rely on God to supply my every need, and let Him direct my wants and bring them in line with His will for my life.  The wants and desires I spoke of, they are there in my heart and mind every day.  They are of my flesh.  The Holy Spirit inside me urges me to follow God�s will and let Him guide me.
     There is no good in me.  I�m flesh and bone.  The only good you may see in me is Jesus.  I want to yell and be selfish and childish and critical and pout and throw temper tantrums.  Most days, the Lord helps me to keep my mouth shut, at least until I�m alone with Him.  I have struggles that no one but God knows about, and I�m sure that it�s the same for you.
     I still need to grow and to be used of God for His glory.  That is my every need, and He will supply it.  I pray that the Lord will daily give me what measure of His grace and mercy that I need to serve Him.
     You see my humanness, but I hope and pray that you also see Jesus in my life.

     - For a wonderful update to this, see My Father's Gift To Me.
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