DISCOURSE ON PUBLIC PROPERTY, PROTECTION THEREOF

As is the case with regards to all governmental institutions, good stewardship of taxpayer dollars must be first and foremost in the minds of all those who participate in activities sponsored by said institutions. Not to be ignored amongst these is the marching band; a recreational and educational activity for those students so engaged, but primarily an organization designed to entertain, and in so doing serve those from whom monies are taken to finance said organization. Annually, the abodes and various properties of each lord of his own domain that fall within the dominion of Fayette County, Georgia are assessed, and denoted with a certain numerical value; the monies hereby taken are then distributed to the local organ of learning to be dispersed as this body sees fit to subsidiaries across its jurisdiction. These monies, so taken and dispersed, and still further allocated to smaller bodies within each camp of indoctrination, are used for the purchase of those items deemed necessary for the service of the children of above taxpayers. Therefore, as these monies have been forcibly removed from the wallets of those who people the county, and as these monies are applied to the purchase of items as diverse as the peoples of the Earth, it is these taxpayers themselves, who through the fruits of their labors, the sweat of their brows, and the extraction of their incomes from their respective paychecks, have purchased these items. All those who make use of the harvests brought forth by the toils of their middle class benefactors have a solemn responsibility to treat them with respect, for to ding a tuba, to crunch a baritone, to mar the perfection of tonality of the pit's xylophone is to rip, tear, devour the skin of the back upon which said instruments were purchased.

-William S. Welch, April 22, 2002