It was too surreal.  Have you ever seen those movies where there is this huge action scene going on and the main character just stands there transfixed as everything happens in slow motion.  You know what I mean?  The whole there is background music, everyone is moving SO slow that even if you left the room and came back ten minutes later the scene wouldn’t be half way over.  The character just stays perfectly still.  They don’t move.  They don’t speak.  They just watch.  If you know what I’m talking about then you’ll know EXACTLY how I felt in what felt like eternity in what in actuality probably just spanned five minutes long.  My heart just slowed down and I almost stopped breathing.  Okay.  Maybe it wasn’t THAT drastic!  But it sure was close!  Of all the random things to have happen, that would have to be the most random.  I don’t think I’ve ever encountered anything stranger in all my life.  YUP.  That is going into my books as the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.  I swear to you at this moment I feel like I’m just a pawn in the grander scheme of things. 

*****MUAH MUAH  “YOU ARE!  YOU HAVE NO CONTROL!” **** , the VOICE said. There goes that stupid voice again.  Okay.  I put up with it before but this time I am going to have to complain!  If it is going to constantly interrupt my thoughts you could at least have it be a sexy voice!   ***WENCH!”***, the VOICE echoed.  Well Blah to you VOICE.  ***”Don’t Blah me I am the VOICE!  MUAH MUAH MUAH!!***  I’m scared here.  Really I am.  I am SO scared.  NOT.  Anyways what was I saying?  Ah yes...before the STUPID VOICE interrupted me...***WATCH IT!  I HAVE THE POWER!!***, the VOICE shouted.  Yeah.  Whatever.  AS I WAS SAYING. 
     This whole thing is right out of a really bad dubbed movie.  Thought #1:  What in the hell just happened here?  Thought #2:  Did Grace just save us all from who knows what because the guys we’re with couldn’t win a fight if their life depended on it?  (Aren’t guys supposed to protect us?  I know this is a politically correct world and I’m all for self-empowerment but DUDE Grace just saved Five guys from a GIRL!)  and Thought #3: Where in the hell did Grace learn to fight like that? I’ve got to remember to never get on her bad side ever!  She would kick my butt big time...I don’t even think that crane move I saw on Karate Kid would save my behind.  I glanced around me and noticed I wasn’t the only one in contemplation, shock, or disbelief.  We all were.  Well Grace wasn’t.  She was just dusting off her hands like it was no big deal.   I’ve got to hand it to her, she is calm and collected in drastic situations.  Then like the bad dubbed movie our lives had become it happened...Ritchie started clapping, then J, then Shelbs, then Laura...well you get the picture.  All that was needed to complete this moving picturesque moment was that cheesy Rocky music or something to play.

"Go Grace, go Grace!", Abs shouted hopping up and down as we all approached Grace to congratulate her on her victory.

“Wicked!  Absolutely Wicked!”, Scott joined in singing her praises.

“Where did you learn how to do that?”, J asked as we headed towards the apartment door.

“Picked it up”, Grace shrugged.  Jen jabbed me in the side and rolled her eyes at me.  It was all I could do to stifle a laugh.  That’s right Jen...these boys were just too easily amazed, I thought in my head as I smiled at her.  This could be a good thing.  Grace being a wannabe Jackie Chan could have fixed things a little.  For the first time in the span of hours it seemed like Jen was back in good spirits.  Hopefully the feeling would last a little longer, we still had plenty of time left with the guys.  I briefly paused at our door and pushed it open wider and waltzed into our place.  It was good to be home.

“Don’t mind the mess!”, I called out behind me as I made my way down the hall.  Everyone quickly made their way inside, and I nodded to Sean to close the door behind him. 

“Just make yourselves at home”, Shelbs smirked in a polite-I’m being sarcastic-only joking with you tone as Abs plopped himself down on the sofa and propped his feet on the coffee table.

“Grace you’ve GOT to teach me that move you did!  POW!  BAM!  Good!  Good! Good!”, he exclaimed as he nodded his head up at her to acknowledge the comment.

“Yeah.  I was very impressed on how you handled the situation out there”, Ritchie added as he sat himself down by Abs. 

“Thanks”, Grace replied still in her state of indifference.  WOMAN!  You just saved these guys from the wrath of the teenies.  Give yourself props!  Stop playing modest!  You know you are liking the attention!!!  Other than embellishing the situation further or adding any insight, Grace just gave a little smile before moving towards a seat in the room and ending anymore conversation on her bravery.  Silence quickly followed.  Who could blame anyone?  What else could we talk about?  We certainly hadn’t been talking to each other since the incidence on the bus.  The uncomfortable tension in the air quickly prompted me to find a seat next to Ritchie on the other side of the room from both Abs and Scott.  I was not about to sit near either of them.  I still remembered (unfortunately) what had taken place the previous hour and was in no hurry to start something else.  We didn’t need any drama and personally I was a bit tired.  I wasn’t the only one with those same sentiments.  We all sat in neutral positions. 

“So..umm...does anyone want anything to drink”, Laura asked breaking the silence.  Suddenly people spoke again.   Blessed be Laura for being the polite girl she is!  The lads began commenting on the decoration of the apartment, although they had hardly seen it all.  We hadn’t even moved from the living room.  I wasn’t going to state that however...conversation was flowing and the uncomfortable air was subsiding.

“Hey Julie that’s a funny picture of you girls!”, Scott suddenly exclaimed walking towards me picking up a framed picture of us five.  WHOA.  Was that random or was that random?  I swallowed nervously, taken aback by the fact that not only was he was speaking to me again, but he was standing right near me.  I licked my lips nervously as I tried to regain some composure and looked over to the point of his interest. 

“Uh-Yeah Grace decided that since nobody could take a picture of the five of us that she was going to hold the camera at arms length and she snapped it...”, I said before my mouth quickly shut as my eyes locked behind Scott’s figure.  OH MY LORD I FORGOT THAT...ACK!  THE WALL!   The FREAKING MAN WALL!  THE GUYS WERE ON THE MAN WALL!  They were going to know we were OBSESSED.  I began to slowly hyperventilate as I realized the extremity of the situation.  NOT ONLY WAS THE MANWALL there but our PARTYGURLS promo pictures were sitting (oh about give or take twenty feet away) right by it on the stand. COULD WE NOT BE SO SUBTLE!  I couldn’t believe that I had forgotten, that WE had forgotten.  How could I alert the other girls without causing a scene.    And as if someone heard my silent pleas for help, a miracle occurred!  Laura appeared in my line of vision carrying some beverages. 

“Ummm Scott maybe you should help Laura with the drinks!”, I quickly suggested as I promptly took the frame out of his hand and practically shoved him towards my friend.  I grabbed onto Jen...well clutched would be a better description...who was idly standing by attempting to not be engrossed in watching J across the room. KNEW IT.  She still dug him. 

“ANMAY ALLWAY OTGAY AKETAY OWNDAY OWNAY!!”, I hissed in pig latin at her as I smiled at Sean who happened to be fiddling with some magazines at her side.  I prayed that the British knew nothing of Pig Latin, hoping against hope that my belief that it was just an “american” thing was right.  Sean continued fiddling with the magazines.  Jen’s eyes widened.  I nodded.  We both got up.

“Umm Jules...Ummm Yeah...Could you umm go with me to ummm...just come with me to make sure the rest of the place is tidy...ummm yeah right that’s it...have to make sure the place is clean”, Jen said trying to pretend nothing was up and at the same time give us an excuse to disappear for a moment.  She didn’t so that good of a job. 

“You girls don’t have to clean anything up.  We’re used to a mess.  Ladband and all.”, Ritchie argued overhearing. 

“Yeah Ritchie is the posterboy of filth”, J cut-in smirking.

“Well...ummm we’re not used to it...and ummm its embarrassing well because you know that umm Jules is a neat freak...and”, Jen continued on trying to get away as she nudged me towards the hallway.  That was when the sirens went off to all the GURLS.  Alert mode happened.  Since when was I a neat freak?  Shelbs shot up.  Gracie rushed forward.  Laura put down her coffee.  I adverted my eyes to the hallway.  Forget subtlety.  We had to get rid of some evidence.  I dashed like a madwoman down the hall to salvage some of our pride. 

“Wicked!  Absolutely Wicked!”, Scott looked at me amazed, and that was his obsession with the word “wicked".

“Where did you learn how to do that?”, J chimed in.  He actually looked a bit miffed that he wasn’t the one saving everyone else’s asses!

“Picked it up,” I said non-chalantly.  Yes Grace, yes.  They think you’re cool—like some kind of James Bondish secret agent.  If they only knew the truth!  How could I tell everyone that it was just that I watched too much Jet Li movies!
Eventually we found ourselves in the apartment, and Jules said something about the mess.  Dude, as if!  I know Laura and Shelbs make enough mess for all of us, but there IS Jen and me here to clean up after them!  I don’t think I could sleep at night if a cushion was out of place!

“Grace you’ve GOT to teach me that move you did!  POW!  BAM!  Good!  Good! Good!”, Abs jumped around.  All I knew was that I had to get away from him—he was REALLY starting to annoy me!

“Yeah.  I was very impressed on how you handled the situation out there”, Ritchie seemed regretful that he couldn’t have been my knight in shining armor, instead of the other way around. 

“Thanks”, I said.  I sat down somewhere, and I looked towards Sean.  He was the only one who didn’t seemed impressed.  He sat down on the other side of the circle we all made as we sat down.  It was as far away as you could get in our small living room.  Was it me or was he trying to avoid me?  Man!  Why was this happening?  Why was the cute asian-looking boy ignoring me?  Laura said something about drinks, and I suddenly felt a hand on my knee.  It was none other than Ritchie.  I didn’t realize he moved from his place by Abs to sit by me.  He smiled at me, and all I could think of was how much better he looked without all the make-up they put on him.  Wait—why were my thoughts so easily transferred from Sean to Ritchie?  **Heh-heh….**

All of a sudden Jules screeched, “ANMAY ALLWAY OTGAY AKETAY OWNDAY OWNAY!!” 

What the heck man?  How does Jules suddenly know Yiddish?  Or was that Portugese?  Well whatever!  I don’t know either language!  Is she trying to show off?  Trying to take away from the spotlight that was mine alone!  No, it can’t be that.  She was saying it with too much urgency, directing it at everyone but the guys.  But what?  I have to figure out what would make Jules mutter in Czech!
Only it wasn’t the foremost concern in my mind.  Ritchie’s knee was touching mine all to familiarly.  I stared at it, trying to figure out if I should push it away or leave it there.  While puzzling over that dillema, he then he put his arm up on the couch head.  It wasn’t quite around my shoulders—anyone looking would think he was just relaxing—but I knew better.  What, was Ritchie trying to do—lay claim on me now?  Then I heard Jen, who seemed to understand Jules babblings, “Umm Jules...Ummm Yeah...Could you umm go with me to ummm...just come with me to make sure the rest of the place is tidy...ummm yeah right that’s it...have to make sure the place is clean.”

“You girls don’t have to clean anything up.  We’re used to a mess.  Ladband and all.”, Ritchie said, arm still perched on the couch head. 

“Yeah Ritchie is the posterboy of filth”, J made eye contact with the other guys in mutual agreement.  Not that the others were Mr. Clean themselves.  No, that was all J—or so we all heard from the interviews.  (But we’re not supposed to know that!)

“Well...ummm we’re not used to it...and ummm its embarrassing well because you know that umm Jules is a neat freak...and”, Jen babbled as she and Jules inched closer to the hallway and the man wall.  Wait—MANWALL!?  SHIT SHIT SHIT!  I bounded up, and saw Shelbs do the same.

“We’ll help,” Laura said, almost choking on her coffee in realization.

“Yeah, just stay here, and everything will be taken care of,” Shelbs said mysteriously.

     I’m sure it was the way Shelbs said that last line, or the way Jen was actually babbling, or just the sight of all of us trying to be slick as we tiptoed towards the hallway.  But J gave us a suspicious look, and ever perceptive Sean was asking, 

“What’s going on, what are you hiding there?”

“Nothing,” said I, at the tail end of our entourage.  I already heard the telltale sounds of paper being ripped off a wall as Scott, then Ritchie got up to see what we were up to.

“QUICK!  THEY’RE COMING!”  I yelled as I ran and grabbed a rather sexy picture of J in a wife-beater off the wall.

“Don’t forget our doors!” Jules yelled, as she grabbed several saucy Abs and Scott pictures off her door.

     Our man wall didn’t have just Five posted.  We had all kinds of eye candy up there—hence the “man wall” and not the “Five wall”.  But all our doors, and even the bathroom door had our favorite pictures of the Five bad boys exclusively.
In the nick of time, all the Five related pictures were off the walls and doors.  I mean, just in time too, because as soon as we turned around, there were the subjects of our pictures, looking at us rather oddly.  We all looked back like we had nothing to hide, even though our hands were behind us filled with tasty Sean pictures, drool-worthy Ritchie pictures and such.

“What tha?” Scott said, looking past us.  Oh no!  Busted!  I’m sure there was a picture of him up there some smart person left!  Embarrassment of the century!  I can see them all leaving us now, or something.  Or—no they wouldn’t—would they?
“Nothing, nothing!  You can’t look, you’re not allowed!” Shelbs said, trying to muster up an amount of command in her voice, but it sounded more like a whine.

“I know!” J said shocked, as we all blushed.  Did he see the tons of his pictures that Jen had on her door, I wonder?

“I can’t believe it!” Ritchie looked at me, betrayal in his eyes.  Shit!  Must’ve been that picture of Ritchie labeled “GAY RITCHIE” I had somewhere.
Sean just looked at the wall, and gave us his heartiest laugh.  Maybe he was laughing at the screenshots I posted of him from the WTLGO video.  Hey, if I was him, I’d laugh too!

“You know the truth now,” Laura said, dejectedly.

“We tried,” I looked at the rest of the girls, but everyone looked down shame-faced.

“Yeah, the truth!” Abs said making a move for a picture.  He pulled it off and showed it to us.  “I can’t believe you like WESTLIFE!  I mean do you really think that these blokes could perform like we could?!”  Our eyes shot up to the picture Abs held, and arched over to the wall.  SUCCESS!  There weren’t any pictures of them, just all of the other saucy pics we had of other men! We smiled at each other, letting Abs muttering about how Shane couldn’t rap if he tried. 

“What’s this now, love?” Ritchie pointed to my door.  Yes, someone left that picture of David Duchovony with nothing but a teacup on—if you catch my drift!  No wonder the look of betrayal—he probably thought I went for that sort of thing.  But it was better than the truth!  Embarrassing, but not that much so.  I mean, I know for a fact that they have posters of half-naked women on their walls!  Sean was laughing at the picture we had of Antonio Sabato Jr. clad in nothing but CK briefs.

“Hey, he IS one hott piece of man!” Jules said.

“Yeah, makes you want to jump his bones, eh Jules,” Jen teased.

“And that guy has enticing, come hither eyes, does he not?” I commented about the Jason Behr picture.  Jen didn’t agree.  We all had a good laugh about our man wall, us girls commenting why a certain guy was on our wall, and them guys laughing at our responses.  It really seemed that we had gotten away scott-free—when it happened.

“Hey, what’s that?” Scott said, pointing to the ground.  As luck would have it, one of the pictures Shelbs was holding escaped from her hands.  **You should thank me for that, my pretties!**

“Nothing!” Shelbs said as she tried to kneel and pick it up without anyone noticing.  It wasn’t successful I might add.

“Wait—she’s hiding something behind her back!  They’re all hiding something behind their backs!” Abs accused.

“Give it up now!” J threatened.

Ah…ha ha ha!  Not so slick, are we?

The girls are screwed...CLICK HERE for Chapter 24
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