When the Lights Go Out (UK)

CAR:  Ok, maybe not so bitter.  This is a version I’m glad they tweaked.  What’s with the background?  It sounds like they’re in a freakin circus!!  The US version is so much better.  Did I mention that?  Did I also mention that Sean is so…yummy?  And the video is…OK.  Futuristic.  Very creative.  Eh…well, us Americans still got the better version of the song, even if we’ve been screwed every other way!

D: SOMEBODY named CAR is a groupie!  She’s throwing herself people! 
Don’t you agree...she’s just as bad as Bea and her J fetish (Bea: HEY!).  For the
hundredth time CAR is going to rant and rave about the greatness of Sean...well you
know what Scott and Ritchie are the best part of this song.  It’s about the BRIDGE.  And you know what else they actually try to blend at the end of this unlike the US version and the J sing-rap is a green light with moi! 

Bea: AND ME!!  You make my hips want to dip J!

CAR:  ...But that background...Too slow!

Human (The Five Remix) 

CAR:  Ahhh…you guessed it!  It’s one of my favorite songs for one single soulful reason!  Why do I think it’s a Sean song even if he only sings one verse? 
“Come baby dry your eyes….”  This is a part that I always playback!  *Shiver*Shiver*  Why oh why?  This is a GREAT song!  Why leave it out of our album?  Why? 

D: *COUGH* Groupie *COUGH* CAR *COUGH*...this is one sweet song!  And I’m not saying sweet as in the opposite of sour!  I’m utilizing that California ghetto talk here as in SWEET baby...SWEET...even with that whole rhyming If Five boys in the house say it loud...If Five boys in the house check it out thing...ummm another plug of the name here.  It reminds me of that whole rapping EAST/WEST coast thing that rappers  always have to throw in there....WE KNOW THE NAME OF THE GROUP IS FIVE!

Don’t You Want It 

CAR: Thanks, but no thanks.  No, I don’t really want it.  And here Abs
actually counts down all the way to Four!  Soon Abs, soon you will be able to count like the rest of the lads.  Put your tapes on fast-forward, and use the track skip on your cd’s, this is not a good song.  I guess them Brits didn’t want to poison our ears, so they withheld this song.  Thanks!

D: DISAGREE TOTALLY!  You know why CAR hates this song...hardly any Sean THAT’S WHY!  The only reason!  I for one LOVE this song.  The J rap kicks all and totally leaves the Abs rap in the dust...When I first heard it I thought to myself THIS BOY REALLY CAN RAP!!  PLUS nice Scott verses on the side.  He can make the sun shine forever people!  That has to count for something!
 

Shake 

CAR:  “Ladies and gentlemen…here is Five trying to get this party started RIGHT!”   Uh…well…they tried.  It’s fast paced, it’s ok.  But if I wanted a good party song, I’d turn to “If Ya Gettin’ Down”.  Ok, I kinda like this song, but I usually skip it and bring it back to “Human”.  Why oh why?  I still ask why?

D: Another disagreement with CAR on this one!  I LIKE THIS SONG!  I don’t like that whole nursery rhyme rap in the middle about Little Bo Peep or Little Jack Horner or WHATEVER though!.  Who is that guy that raps?!  He’s not in Five!  Why is he on this track!  He can’t write a rap!  Get him away! I didn’t pay my $16.99 to hear some guy telling nursery rhymes.  I could have bought one of those learning how to read books on my own time!  The song is good in my book MINUS that whole thing.  You know interestingly enough I had no idea that the chorus was about getting nasty in the gutter...I seriously at first thought they were saying getting down its so good and fantastic...REALLY I DID.  It was the accents I tell you!  But I like it!  Again I just want to remind people that CAR probably doesn’t like this song because it is SEAN less....
 

Cold Sweat 

CAR:  What can I say?  They’re guys?  And they, you said it, have only one thing
on their mind!  OK, I’m not being fair, there ARE exceptions!  But these guys definitely are not one of them.  “I ache when you shake it.”  Come on!  Think about it!  What would they do with a girl like you?  Hmmm…lemme think.  Take a walk in the park?  Uh, no!   But in any case, we still like the song.  And I agree with D, that Sean part after Abs says “Break it down”:  “Oooo what I would do….” is quite sexy!  Go Sean, once again! 

D: I think this should have been put on the US album...this and Human.  This song rocks.  It does...dude J SINGS!  He sings!  We actually hear him belting out some notes!  That is a celebration in itself!  You never hear the lad SING!

Bea: I agree.  J is the bomb diggy!

Straight Up Funk 

CAR: “Straight Up Funk in your ear”, sounds like someone needs to get a
Q-tip to the affected spot!  If this song was in my ear, I’m sure as hell gonna take it out.   And thank you for letting me know it’s over there, but I don’t really want it.  This song is down there with “Don’t You Want It”.  Come on, let’s rewind it back to “Human”.   AHHHH! 

D: CAR! CAR! CAR!  Do we never have anything good to say?  I like this song.  The Abs rap is coolio.  It’s a little slow for my tastes but hey Sean sings in it so why don’t you like it????  Bea likes it.  That whole J thing...go figure!)
 

Switch 

CAR: For most of the song they’re not singing, but it’s fun to yell out “SWITCH!” and have the music change!  But this is a good song *SWITCH* and the weather today *SWITCH* did you see that *SWITCH* hey baby, what’s happening *SWITCH* and I really liked it. 

D:  I want to see the boys rocking all their moves!  This song is so much fun!  You can really yell out.  It reminds me of Battlestar when you can go REWIND!  ONE TIME!   You can say SWITCH!  In the middle of converstaing you can say “Excuse me for a second...SWITCH!!”.  My only complaint is that there is hardly any singing.  Not enough verses!  It was good!  I liked the singing!  They don’t have to keep switching away!
 

And here are some more songs that never made it to the US!  If only they’d wise up and start promoting here!  Hello!

Can You Jam

CAR:  No I don’t really want to jam with all you freaks tonight.  I’m actually
going to stay home this time.  OK, so it’s not a good song, and that’s the reason why they don’t let us hear it.  But dude!  Let us decide for ourselves!  We know that Five are “Human” (*Sigh*) and that they also make mistakes! 

D:  If we’re going to talk about the guys and their counting fetish let’s also talk about their use of “old school words”...umm what is with the whole “freaky”, “freaks”, the “wickity wack”...somebody *cough ABS* listens to Sugar Hill Gang or something 

CAR: Don’t bash the Sugar Hilll Gang!

Bea: Yeah!  I liked Rapper’s Delight!

D: Yes girls we did but that was because it was BACK IN THE DAY.  We’re talking late 90’s here for the Fivers...and boys please... “FREAKY???”  NO.
 

Coming Back for More 

CAR: “Yes, they’re coming back for more, get ready.  And they’re not
getting any more, so they’re leaving.  Good bye.”  Hey, that’s why it’s a B-side, people! 

D: This song would be good but it can’t make up it’s mind.  Is it slow?  Is it fast?  I hate the pounding beat in the background...HEADACHE...that’s what it reminds me of....HEADACHE....and what is with the eternal reference to FIVE in this song.  We know your name is FIVE guys!  You don’t have to mention it in EVERY SINGLE FREAKING SONG...oh look I’m using the word “freaking”...sadly a result of listening to too much Five....Somebody get me out of this old school terminology...I need to kick it with my homies!

Stop Pushing Me 

CAR:  Ok!  I’ll stop pushing you, and I’ll flip this single over to the A side
while I’m at it.  Ahh!  “Until the Time is Through”!  Did I mention that this was a good song? 

D: Again TOTAL disagreement with CAR!  Okay so maybe Abs’ little intro is a bit weak but SEAN saves it! 

CAR:  Sean sings?  What?  Did someone say Sean?

D: Yeah Yeah...My question is what happened to the other boys?  Where are they...again another track with some of the members lost in the background....where did they go?...and I am not tallking about that great Boyzone Song “Where Did You Go” either...It’s about Scott, Ritchie, and J lost in the background....

Reminiscing 

CAR:  Weird!  This is a weird R&B-ish, weird song.  It’s ok.  It’s pretty good. 
Just weird. It’s good but weird. Did I mention that it was weird?

D:  Okay are Abs and J trying to tell us that people have been talking  schmack about them?  Are they trying to tell us that people “bagged on them” *you like the use of my ghetto terminology here* and they don’t deserve it?  We see that.  We get that.  You are not a “typical” boyband.  BLAH BLAH BLAH.  But an entire song on it!  It’s like Two Sides To Every Story, and Don’t Want To Let You Go, and other songs like it with the whole you don’t know us reference....OKAY WE FEAKING GET IT!!  Again  just want to point out that J uses the word “freaky” on this track...Don’t get me wrong this song is mellow...it has a good bass beat...but lost members again!!  What happened to Scott and Ritchie?
 

You and I 

CAR:  Ahh!  Now THIS is a good song!  And not just because of Sean!  (OK,
maybe because of Sean.)  But besides that, I like it!  It’s “When I Remember When”-ish.  Scott!  This is such a Scott song!  Ahh, once again!

D: This HAS to be my FAVORITE Five song.  I am SO bitter that it wasn’t included in the US album.  Why not?  It has everything a good song needs to have...Lovey Dovey lyrics and lots of EMOTION.  They even show off their blending skills...NICE TOUCH.  Why were we deprived of this stuff?  Everyone in Australia that had the privilege of having this song- YOU ROCK!  What about the rest of us?  Why can’t we have it???  I WANT IT!!! 

Bea:  D remember what the doctor said about getting worked up...

CAR: YEAH YEAH BEA.  I can still be bitter and I AM!!!...I just think it’s a good song!

More of CAR, D, and Bea?  You're just a click away!