Hey peoples.  So here is what I think of each of the members of Five.  Five as a whole is great (I guess), but I’d like to tell you about each individual, and how they either make the entity that is Five great, or in some cases, not so great…

Ritchie – I’m sorry, but I’m officially the president of Ritchie bashing.  What I first
thought when I first got into FIVE?  They should get rid of this lad and call themselves FOUR!  I’d buy it!  I’d support it!  Ritchie is useless, in other words.  I mean, he kills the look, man.  Why is it that when they take a hard core picture, he’s the only one who smiles?  And it’s not a cute half smile, but a cheesy “Look at me, mum, I’m famous” smile.   He can’t dance!!  Oh yeah, he can get enthusiastic, but any more pelvic thrusts, and I swear he’ll throw his hip!  That’ll be a fan souvenir!  “Look at me!  I got Ritchie’s hip!”   And during the first album at least, he only sings to back up Scott.  USELESS!  The only high voice they need is Scott!  And the producers know this, or why else is he contributing more to the second album, and we hear Sean much less?  They figured, “We know Sean has the most talent, so we have to tone down on his part, and promote Ritchie more.”   Well that’s just me, but it makes you think, right?

Abs – Here’s another USELESS FIVE member.  What would be better than FOUR?  Well, if they get rid of this dude and call themselves THREE, I’d support it!  I’d go to every concert, and I’d throw myself at them, and throw my best friends at them because I know that it’s the best lad band on the market (not that I don’t already think this).  Abs is useless…  He tries to grab the limelight, but we all know (and so does he) that Sean and Scott sing much better than him, and J raps circles around him.  So that’s why he tries too hard to be visible.  He wears the weird crap on the concerts and music videos, and tries to have this ghetto image.  And his raps suck compared to J’s.  J’s raps seem original, but Abs just reiterates all the “ghetto” terminology (I’m getting JIGGY-Will Smith, Wiggity Wack-Kris Kross), and it doesn’t sound right.  Enough said!   Please support my cause! 
FIVE – (Abs + Ritchie) = THREE!!!

Scott – All I can say is that there is a reason why he is D’s favorite member.  (D hits Car on the shoulder and exclaims “He is not!”)  Don’t believe what she tells you people, this is D’s fav Fiver.  I mean they both like CHEESY 80’S LOVE BALLADS, they both are PICKY EATERS.  And I don’t know, he does that dark hair, blue eyes thing very well for her.  He’s also a musician and has an accent, what more could D want in a guy?  (For those of you who don’t know, these are criteria for D’s ideal guy.  So send in your applications guys!)  Back to Scott, obviously I like him better than Ritchie.  He can do the pained nice guy thing, who needs Ritchie?  It’s the acting experience I suppose...although, I’ve seen him act, and he’s not really good at it.  So it’s a good thing he has this FIVE thing, or where else would he be?  Eastenders?  Puh-whatever!

J – J stands for “Just too sexy” in my book!  Sorry Bea, but he’s been looking too good to me.  After you gobble him up, I’d like to have some leftovers!  (See “Take It Off” Section)  Besides his recent tastiness, I just love this guy in terms of the music!  The Sing/Rap thing just sends shivers!  He should do that more often!  //I know what you wanna do and that I feel the same way too//  And I don’t care what D says, I just love his laugh.  It cracks me up!  I like a guy who doesn’t laugh politely, and just gets into it and laughs his freakin head off.  But that’s just me, ok, next!

Sean – Sean...oooo...I saved the best for last.  If J stands for “Just too sexy”, then Sean stands for “Stay hEre Another Night”.  Ok, I’m bad, parental guidance please man!  What can I say (other than marry me Sean baby?), but that this guy has FIVE on his shoulders!  He has a sexy voice, and writes a lot of the songs, and plays the piano, and HE'S JUST SO DAMNED TALENTED!  Enough said!  (Except, Sean, we’ll have beautiful children together!”)
 

You Want To Listen To D and Bea!  Richelle Take You There!