"Gothos Revisited"
by T'Thrill

Series - TOS
Codes - K/Trelane
Rating - NC-17

Disclaimer - This is a work of fiction derived from the TREK universe owned by Paramount/Viacom.  It is a transformative work and I make fair use of this venue. I make no money from this story and intend no infringement on their copyright.  My copyright only extends to any original characters and in the story itself.

Once again my most sincere 'Thanks!' go out to Cait, beta extraordinaire, who served as my beta for this story.  She has advised me that a hanky warning should be attached. I'll let you be the judge.

Sak gave me this pairing; it's all her fault!

Summary - After many years, Trelane enters Jim Kirk's life once more.

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A lone figure surveyed the outer shell of the shuttlecraft.  Ten hours earlier Jim had piloted the small craft from the Enterprise to the planet's surface, and the entry had been a difficult one.  Beaming down to the planet had proved impossible.  The heavy magnetic interference from the large content of cladium that lay beneath the surface of the planet, a mineral that had proven so important in the engineering of warp core conduits, played havoc with the transporter beam.  However, the planet was also surrounded by a strong band of undetectable currents that made even the most experienced shuttle pilot sit up and take notice.  It had been a difficult flight, followed by a long day.

The meeting with the Council Chief, Barange, had gone well, but the man had insisted on discussing every detail of the treaty, even those issues that were usually left to the hands of the diplomatic corp.; the ones who would have been handling this if urgency were not such an issue.  Jim Kirk could discuss mineral rights and disarmament till the cows came home, but when it got down to questions about commodity exchanges and communication agreements, he was out of his element.  And, in actuality, he didn't really give a shit how many CU's of grain would be traded for twenty-five thousand KG's of liquid caladium.  He was here to assure the Shindowan government would side with the Federation should the Klingons decide to make a run at this sector. Yeah, he knew there was a strong front forming to make peace with the Klingon Empire.  He had even heard Spock speak of the logical attributes of such an alliance. But he also knew it would never happen in his lifetime, and certainly not if he had anything to say about it.

He had spent his adult life fending off their encroachment into this side of the Neutral Zone, and in the process, had lost his son.  He decided the day there was a peace treaty formed between the Federation and the Klingon Empire was the day they could paint his butt yellow and call him a taxi.  Not that they weren't about to do that anyway.  In just eight months the Enterprise-A crew was scheduled to stand down.  Sure, there had been noise about him serving in the capacity of a consultant, but he had rejected that idea.  It was time for him and Spock to settle back and enjoy their time together.  The two of them had been chasing through the galaxy for almost thirty years and Jim was looking forward to the time when a klaxton wouldn't interrupt them when they were grabbing a few intimate moments together.  Not that that happened all that often any more.  Between the constant arguments over the state of the Federation, their opinions regarding this were in direct opposition to one other, and the new demands on Spock, both the Federation and the Vulcan government were putting pressure on him to step into his father's shoes, intimate times together had been few and far between.

Spock had been his lover since the encounter with Voyager 6, and Jim knew he was on the ship awaiting his arrival. Whatever else had happened between them, he knew how much he was loved by the man who had stood beside him for all these years.  They spent seven and a half years before the V'ger encounter trying to deny what they really meant to one another.  Another six months were lost after Spock's death and refusion.  But the rest of their time together had been wonderful; that is until just recently.

While Jim was tied up for the day in negotiations, Spock had returned to the Enterprise from another of the many emergencies that had arisen lately and drawn him away. This time he'd been gone for almost two weeks and Jim had missed him, badly.  The last evening they'd been together, tempers had flared and things that should never be said between those who love each other were shouted in anger. But tonight Jim was going to do all he could to see that they would have a reunion to beat all reunions.  He wanted Spock to know that no matter how much they disagreed on some issues, he was most important to him.  Jim wished he could call for a beam-up so he could be in the warm, Vulcan arms and making amends in a matter of seconds.  But, breathing a sigh of acceptance, he knew that was impossible.

Assuring himself that there were no breaches in the outer covering, he stepped into the shuttlecraft, palmed the plate which retracted the step and slid the door into place, ran a systems check, and fired the engines in preparation for the twenty minute flight back to the Enterprise.  The small shuttle lifted off and sped toward the sky.  Jim had just set his trajectory toward the ship, secured the harness and grasped the steering mechanism in preparation for the heavy belt of currents he had passed through this morning, when the first jolt hit him.

He had flown through worse bands than this in his career, but that didn't mean he enjoyed it.  The second hit him with a force that, even with the harness secured tightly, impacted his back against the seat so sharply it nearly knocked the breath out of him.

"Enterprise, this is Captain Kirk.  Scotty, do you have a reading on this disturbance yet?"

"Ca..ain," the garbled reply came, "...storm...nae showing...monitors...heading...should be..." The transmission stopped.

"Scotty, repeat heading."

No response.

"Enterprise, repeat the last transmission."

"Jim..." It was Spock's voice trying to get through to him as the third wave hit.  He felt as if every joint had been stretched then quickly slammed back together.  "...back. Dan...ous conditions for next..."

Spock was evidently trying to tell him to turn back, but if this morning was any indication, he should be through the worst of it.  He checked the screen and just as it had been earlier in the day, nothing showed up to indicate when the next burst would hit.  That was soon answered as the small craft was violently rocked with the next wave.  Jim felt a sharp pain in the side of his head and knew he had landed a blow against the bulkhead.  Warm fluid ran down his left cheek, but he didn't dare release his hands from the grips of the steering wand long enough to wipe the blood away.  "Say again. Enterprise, say again."

"Abort...attempt!  ...Kirk...Ent...ise...breaking up...return to..."

Fear gripped him.  What the hell was going on?  He looked at the instrument panel.  Were they trying to warn him that it was his shuttle that was breaking up, or had something happened to the Enterprise?  He did a rapid check of his instrument panel.  His ship was in distress, but certainly not breaking up.  It must be the Enterprise that was in danger!

"Spock, say again!  Get the Enterprise out of danger! Repeat. Get the Enterprise out of danger.  I will take refuge on the planet.  Spock!  Come in Enterprise!"

Jim began to reset the directional heading when another wave hit.  The restraint across his chest snapped tightly against him and he felt the ribs underneath give way.  A blinding pain hit him as he tried to gasp for a breath of air.  Another attempt and he knew the ribs had, at the least, impaled his lung.  It was as if his body had forgotten how to breathe.  Every cell in his body screamed for oxygen, and there was none.  He was alone, and dying. He always knew he would be alone when this time came, but as the blackness began to overtake him, his last thoughts were of the Enterprise and the man who was sitting in the command seat.  There was so much to say, so much to do... The fog of pain and realization descended on him.

"Captain Kirk," the voice reached for him in the darkness.

Jim gasped a long, deep, life-giving breath.  He reached for his chest and felt for the injuries, but there was no pain, no tenderness.  His hand went up to his head, expecting to find blood, but where he expected wetness, there was only the feel of his own flesh, whole and uninjured.  He opened his eyes to find himself within a thick, gray fog.  It was as if he was floating in a sea of nothingness.  He flailed against the emptiness surrounding him.  He didn't know if he was floating or falling.

"Captain, relax, you are safe," the voice called to him again.  Bones?  No, this was a voice that seemed familiar, but not from any time recently. Certainly not that of his oldest friend and CMO.  Where was he?  On the ship? No. That much was obvious.  Certainly not on the planet he had just left. What was the last thing he remembered?  He was on the shuttle...dying.  The Enterprise was in danger!  He tried to rise, but there was no indication around him as to which way he should go to stand up.  Was he standing?  Was he lying down?  Was he alive?

"Who's there?" he called into the fog.

"It is I, Captain Kirk."

He looked toward the voice and saw a dark figure through the dense fog, but couldn't make out a form.  But that voice!  No!  It couldn't be!  "Trelane!?" he called into the mist.

"Ahh...I see you have not forgotten me."

"Trelane!  Where the hell am I?  Did you do this?  Where's my ship?!"

"Captain...captain...so many questions.  Here, let me make you more comfortable."

Quickly, the gray fog began to congeal into a shapes and colors, and in just moments, Jim found himself standing in the middle of the house he had grown up in.  A house in Iowa that had been replaced many years before.  Standing with him was a face he remembered well.  Although this time clad in just a white shirt and dark trousers instead of the gaudy, Napoleonic-era outfit from many years before, the identity was unmistakable.

"There.  I hope you find this a more conducive atmosphere for communicating, Captain Kirk."

"Trelane, what the hell are we doing here?  What the hell are *you* doing here?  Are you responsible for this?"

"Responsible?  No, my dear Captain.  As for why we are here, this is a place that I see brings you comfort.  If there is another setting you prefer, then that can be arranged as well."

"Trelane, I don't care where we are, I just want to know about my ship and crew.  Are they out of danger?"

"I'm sorry, Captain.  Your ship has been destroyed.  I was, however, able to save you.  I pulled you from your small craft just before it was demolished."

"The Enterprise...destroyed?" Jim took a step backwards to keep from falling over.  Five hundred and twenty seven people, dead.  The ship gone. Spock...Bones...Pavel...Uhura...all dead.  "Why...how?" he gasped as he fumbled backwards for someplace to sit. Finding the chair that had always been beside the fireplace, he sat down hard.

"A storm descended on your ship.  The events happened quickly.  There was little suffering."

"Spock?  Everyone onboard?"

"Yes, Captain.  I offer my sincerest sympathy at your loss."

Jim looked up at the man standing in the middle of his boyhood home. "Trelane, I swear to you, if I find out you had anything to do with this, I will kill you with my bare hands."

"Captain Kirk, what reason would I have to kill your brave crew?"

"What reason did you have to hijack us before?  Is this just another form of entertainment for you?"

"It is for that reason I am here today.  I wish to make amends for my behavior of the past.  I was but a child then.  I saved your life to make up for that which I caused so long ago."

"Excuse me if I don't believe in either your sincerity or your maturity. After all, you look the same."

"Perhaps I should have come to you in a different form. However, this being the form I took at that time, it seemed only right that this is the form I should use to present myself to you again.  But, Captain Kirk, I can assure you that I am no longer the mischievous child who captured your ship once before."

"Why now?  Why save me?  If what you're telling me is the truth, then you did me no favors.  You should've let me die with the rest of my crew."

"Now, Captain, you don't mean that."

"Stop calling me 'Captain'!  My ship is gone!  My crew is dead!  I'm the captain of nothing!"

"Then I shall call you James.  You don't mind if I call you by your name, do you?"

"I don't give a goddamned what you call me, just put me back on the shuttle and let nature take it's course.  Just leave me alone!"

"I'm afraid there is no longer any shuttle to put you on. That primitive form of conveyance burned up in the planet's atmosphere.  Nor will I do anything to facilitate your death.  No, James, we only need to decide where we will go from here."

"Go?  You can go straight to hell!  Why you?  Why now?"

"I have watched you for many years and have waited for an opportunity to assist you.  This seemed to be the best time for my reappearance into your life."

"I see your timing still sucks.  Why would you think I would want to be saved when my crew, when the one who means more to me than anyone else, is dead? Obviously you have learned little about humans in these years."

"Oh, but you are mistaken.  My fascination with your species has afforded me a great deal of insight into humans, especially you my dear James, and this powerful predilection toward survival.  The sadness you feel is great, and understandable.  I, too, find myself mourning those who are lost.  But I am equally aware of the strength within you.  You have had losses before and yet have continued on.  This too, in time, shall serve to make you stronger."

"What do you know about me?  About the losses I've had?"

"I know of the Vulcan, Mr. Spock, and his death and what you went through to reclaim him.  I know of the death or your parents, your brother, and your son.  I know that your Vulcan friend was your lover.  You see, James, I know everything about you."

Jim watched the man standing before him.  It would have been easy to dismiss all of this as an oxygen-starved, hallucinogenic phenomena had he not encountered this being once before.  But something told him that this was no mirage.  Didn't the seat beneath him feel real, even down to the splinters on the arm?  He stood up.  The floor underneath his feet felt real.  He walked the length of the room and heard the squeak as the floorboard that had always been loose, gave slightly under his weight. A hallucination would have been easier to accept.  If this were a pre-death delusion, it would mean the Enterprise, and all aboard, were safe.  It would mean that Spock was safe. He walked to the mantle over the fireplace, placed his folded arms on it, and let his head fall onto his sleeve.  "If you think I'll ever be able to get over this, then you still have a lot to learn," he mumbled.

How long they stood there in silence, Jim didn't know. Long enough for Jim to remember every moment that he had spent on the bridge of that ship, and the one that had come before.  Long enough to remember every second that he and Spock had spent together.  Long enough to remember every conversation he had ever had with Bones McCoy, some difficult, all important, and the laughing, gentle blue eyes that had held him grounded for all of those years. Long enough to grieve for each one, and the others who had taken this phenomenal journey with him.

The young Russian who he had had the pleasure of watching grow into a confident, reliable officer.  The woman whose trusting eyes were always ready with a quick smile and an answer, almost before he could ask the question. She, unlike the rest of them, had not grown older, but only more beautiful with each passing year and had been the only one who could tame the spirited Scotsman who cared only for his engines, until she claimed his heart. Scotty.  How many miracles had he demanded from him?  He knew how many, and only once had he failed him.  "Sir, he's dead already," Scotty had told him on that one occasion.  The engineer's strong arms kept him from breaching the containment chamber.  So few survived.  Sulu, who had been given his own command, and Janice Rand, along with several of the technicians who had once served with him, had escaped this tragedy.  So very few of the many who had traveled this journey with him, still survived.  The rest were gone.

He grieved for each until he felt his soul had become empty.  He raised his head and looked at his reflection in the mirror.  The face was the same one he saw every morning, but now there was an emptiness to the eyes that looked back at him.  Then he looked at the man still standing behind him.  There was no laughter; no taunting in those eyes as there had been on that distant planet so many years before.  He saw only concern and caring in that face.

"You are tired.  You should rest," Trelane said with a softness that Jim almost didn't recognize.  Not from him. This could not be the same being who had held his ship hostage.

"Rest?  I can't rest.  I've got to get back."

"Back to what, James?  All that you have known is gone. What is there to get back to?"

Jim shook his head.  What, indeed?  "Where are we?  And don't tell me my family's home.  This place hasn't existed for many years."

"In terms as close as your understanding will allow, another dimension."

"Am I dead?"

"No, you are quite alive."

"This is crazy!  If all that you're telling me is the truth, how do you explain my lack of injuries?"

"I have taken care to make sure your body is as it was. This shell is in the same robust health you were in prior to the accident.  Actually, I started to place you in the body in which I first saw you, but I do like you ever so much better now.  There is a richness that these years have added to you, my dear James.  I believe I was not the only child at our first encounter.  You, too, were most young and innocent."

"Innocent?  Hardly!"

"I mean no offense.  I speak not of unimportant things of the flesh.  At that time, you still had the soul of a child.  I find you are more interesting now.  However, it may be that I saw you as a child sees.  Now, I see you through the eyes of an adult."

Jim turned around and propped his back against the edge of the mantle.  How long had it been since he had been brought here?  Did it really matter?  For the first time since his awakening, he smiled.  "Oh, I don't know, maybe you're right.  Looking back, it seems I was so young during that time.  I've learned a lot in these last twenty-nine years. That's how long it's been, you know.  Twenty-nine years since our last encounter."

"James, do not concern yourself with such inconsequential measurements." Trelane stepped closer and laid a hand gently on his shoulder.

To Jim, it felt good.  To feel the touch of another, to know this was really happening, to know he wasn't alone, felt good.  "Trelane, what you call inconsequential is the sum of my lifetime.  All of it that was meaningful, anyway. What I wouldn't give to have just one day of it back.  Time to tell those who were important to me how much they really meant.  Time to tell Spock that the arguments didn't mean anything.  What wouldn't I give to be able to let him know how much I loved him?"  He wanted to fight against this. All of the sorrow he had released seemed to be filling him again.

"He knew, James.  As certain as you were of his feelings for you, he too, knew that he was loved."

Jim looked up, his composure almost gone.  His voice cracked as he asked, "Are you sure of that?"

"Yes, I speak only of those thing of which I'm certain. Of this, I'm certain."

Jim felt his body begin to shake.  How could he stand this loss again?  There was only so much a man could take in one lifetime.  If Trelane was right, Spock knew he loved him. Knowing that, somehow, made it both harder and easier to accept what had happened.  That didn't make sense, but what about this day did?  Trelane's arms wrapped around him and he allowed himself to be pulled to the man.  Burying his head in the shoulder, he mourned once more.

He found himself lying down.  Had it been a dream?  No, this was still the home he had grown up in, the bed where he had slept for most of his first sixteen years.  And Trelane was still with him, seated at the end of the bed, watching him.  "How long have I been asleep?"

"Long?  As measured in those increments that you are familiar with, nine hours.  You needed rest."

Jim propped up on one elbow.  "Trelane, why all this?  Why my boyhood home? And why the change in you?"

"This is the place you knew before.  This setting holds no memories of that which you have recently lost.  Had I created your ship, or your cabin, you would have grieved for he who is no longer there.  Had I created your current dwelling on your home planet, the result would have been the same.  This gives you time to feel what you must, without expecting all to be as it was.

"As for my demeanor, this is who I have become.  What you saw in me in our first encounter was a precocious child with very little self-control.  Yet, what I learned from you on that day was something which has shaped me into he who appears before you now.  You were willing to sacrifice yourself for the sake of your crew.  You were a fierce opponent with a gentle spirit.  Your emotions were strong and your control even stronger.  These are the things I have sought to incorporate into my own being."

"Amazing."

"What is it that you find amazing, James?"

"You.  You really aren't the child we encountered long ago, are you?

"No, I am not."

Jim laid his head back on the pillow.  He began to drift off when he felt Trelane rise from the corner of the bed where he had been seated.  Jim opened his eyes and said, "Don't leave.  I don't want to be alone, not yet."

"Then I shall stay as long as you need me."

"Lay down with me?" Jim held up the edge of the blanket that had been placed across him.

"Yes," Trelane nodded and slid under the cover.  Jim turned on his side and Trelane shaped his body to him and placed one arm around his waist and the other under his neck, and held him close.

There was no concept of time.  It could have been hours, it could have been days, but for that time, Trelane held him and let him cry when necessary, and sleep when needed. Gentle fingers wiped away the tears, and soft caresses comforted him.  Lips pressed against his hair and arms tightened around him when he felt he would come apart. There were even times when Jim thought he heard soft sobs and felt tears fall against his scalp, but of this he couldn't be certain.

Jim turned in the arms and looked at Trelane.  Now he needed more. Tentatively, he moved his head closer to the man lying next to him and brushed his lips against the full mouth.  There was no resistance.  Again he pressed his lips to Trelane's and felt a gentle response.  Jim pulled his head back and looked into the last face he would have ever have thought he'd feel desire for.  But this was wrong.  He could not ask this, even of this man.  "I'm sorry," Jim whispered.

"For what, James?  I'm here for you, to comfort you in any way that I can." A hand stroked against his face as Trelane continued, "I know you.  I know your needs.  I feel the burning that was felt between the two of you.  And if you wish to lay with me as he who you have lost, then that too, I will give you."

"It's true, I miss him and always will. A part of me will never stop wanting him.  But it's not as a surrogate for Spock that I want to feel you against me.  It's you, Trelane, the man who's held me and allowed me this time I've needed.  It's you who I desire."

"Captain.  My dear, dear, Captain.  I know you wish I not call you that, but that's who you will always be to me.  I may have power over matter and energy; however, you have always wielded a strange power over me.  As a child I admired you.  And as a man I have longed for you."

Jim pulled him close and felt the warm, inviting lips brushing against him. Yes, he needed this.  He needed to feel alive again.  Hands went to his shirt and began to unbutton it.  When it was fully open, fingers began to softly caress him, gently, tentatively.  He found a closure at the side of Trelane's shirt and separated it, causing the material to slide away.  Placing his hand against the flesh, he found a muscular, warm being.  His own heart was pounding within him with anticipation, and he could feel the beating of Trelane's heart inside the furred chest.

Jim rolled his body so that Trelane could feel his need. A hand caressed the length of him.  Responding hardness pressed against him.  As certain as Jim was that the man could just make their obstructive clothing disappear, time was taken to remove each article and admire and learn the newly exposed flesh that lay beneath.

The last of their clothing removed, Trelane pulled him close and, beginning over each eye, bathed his body in slow, melting, sucking kisses.  The weigh of the body was on top of him and Jim opened his thighs to offer him access. As the organ painlessly invaded him, lips grazed against his temple, a meld point, and Jim felt the loss of the one he would never again see.  Fighting against the memories, his breath caught and a tear escaped and ran down the side of his face into his hair.

As the length of the organ slid into him, a soothing voice whispered in his ear, "Do not fight against your memories of him.  Feel him with you.  Feel him with us.  That part of you he claimed will never die.  And know that this love I feel for you is equally eternal."

How had he deserved, in only one lifetime, to find not one but two such caring, gentle beings who also cared for him, he would never understand. Wrapping his legs around the narrow hips and pulling him close, Jim pressed his lips against the damp neck and thrust against the invasion within him. He felt the swell of his impending eruption. "Trelane..." he breathed as a rush of warmth flooded him from deep within and his own orgasm spread between them.

The fullness was pulled from him, and Trelane lay down beside him and pulled Jim's head onto his chest, stroking his back.

Jim felt comfortable lying against the warm, furred chest. He felt sated and content.  Although the memories of those lost still burned hot, deep within him, he knew Trelane had been right; he would survive.  Maybe not in this dimension, maybe not with the man who lay beneath him, but he would go on. He must, if only for those who could not.

"I must try," Trelane whispered to him.

"Try?"

"To undo the events that brought you to me.  It is not as it should be. Humans do not realize that much is left to chance.  There is more than one path possible for each.  I must attempt to change this one."  He slid from beneath Jim and leaned over him.  "James, what I'm going to do is against all that I am, and I cannot guarantee success.  You see, my friend, our people also have a prime directive.  To interfere into those matters which do not concern us is seen as unwise.  However, I find that you do concern me, even more than I had known.  And although the recent events are one possibility, there are other contingencies in your timeline which are equally meritorious. I must attempt to set you upon one of these."

"Will you come back with me?"

"No, if successful, there is another who awaits you.  And I must attend to that which my life consists of."

Jim stroked down the kind face with his fingertips.  "What is your life? Trelane, you know everything about me, and I haven't a clue about you.  Are you happy?"

"Yes, I have found happiness.  As a child, I'm afraid my parents indulged me, as I have found myself doing with my own son.  Although he brings me extreme pleasure, it seems he is determined to test the bounds of my patience."

"You have a son?  And he's precocious?"  Jim laughed. "As the saying goes, payback is hell!"
 

"Even with my people, the sentiment is the same."  The man leaning over him smiled.  It was not the taunting laugh that Jim remembered, but a sincere smile from the man who had rescued and protected him.

"Thank you, Trelane.  Whatever happens from here, I'll remember that you helped me get through this."

"If successful, you will not remember this.  However, I believe our paths may cross again one day."

"I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I hope so."

"So do I, my dear Captain, so do I."  Trelane bent down and pressed his lips against Jim's.

The pain dug deep into his side.  He tried to breath, and couldn't.  Just as he felt the darkness overtake him, he felt a familiar tingle of the transport beam.

Waking, the bright lights hurt his eyes and there was pain, searing hot pain with each breath.  The Enterprise, destroyed!  But he briefly opened his eyes against the blinding light and knew he was on his ship, in sickbay, and by the sound of the beeps and hums around him, he was a patient there.  He was cold, so very cold.  No, his hand was warm.  He turned his head toward that warmth and saw the face of the one he had longed for.  "Spock..." he tried to whisper.

"Yes, Jim, I am here," came the reply as another warm hand, that wonderful delicious warmth, soothed his brow.

"What...?" he tried to ask what had happened, why was he here, but the words would not leave his lips.  It was only a whisper.

"Shhh...  Dr McCoy tells me you are not to speak.  I will tell you all that we know.  We are currently enroute to Starbase 11.  You have been unconscious for three days. Leonard wasn't certain of your survival until this morning. Shortly after you departed the planet, we were hit by a storm of unknown origin that has yet to be fully analyzed. Damages to the ship were significant.  But Mr. Scott assures me that a few days in a repair station is all that is needed.  As quickly as it hit, it was over.  It evidently threw us into a time-warp continuum because our chronometers show that we lost six point three seconds. Mr. Scott was able to lock onto your coordinates and you were pulled through the time anomaly with us.  When he beamed you onboard, you were severely injured with damage to internal organs and a life-threatening head wound."

"Spock," he managed, "I'm sorry..."

"Jim, you have nothing to be sorry for.  That which occurred was not within your control."

"No..." he struggled.  He tried to shake his head, but it felt as if a phaser blast had gone off inside his skull. He had to make him understand.  "I'm sorry about the arguments.  I love you.  I need you to know how much."

"Jim, I know.  All else is unimportant.  I, too, have felt remorse over the events preceding my last departure. However, whatever our differences, this," he brought Jim's hand to his mouth and brushed the back of it against his lips, "above all else, will never change."

The warmth of that kiss spread throughout him.  Why had he been so afraid? Why had the fear that he had lost him been so powerful?  Whatever the reason, it had been terribly frightening.  But the first day that Bones allowed him freedom from the confines of the sickbay, he had set out to show Spock all he meant to him.  It was the same as it had been when they had first found each other.

Jim didn't remember the events that had taken place during that time, but for several weeks was awakened by unusual dreams involving a noncorporeal being they had encountered long ago.  Shrugging off the nocturnal images as a result of the head wound he had suffered, he would roll over and pull the warm Vulcan tightly against him.

One day, almost a hundred years in the future, he remembered the time he had spent with Trelane.  On Veridian III, he once again was feeling the darkness of death descend upon him.  Just as the last breath was leaving his body, he felt a soft hand slip into his and pull him into the thick, gray fog.  "My dear Captain," the voice soothed. "I told you we would meet again someday. You didn't think I'd let you be alone, now did you?"

<Finis>

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