~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FFFFFFFFFF IIIIIIIIIII SSSSSSSS TTTTTTTTTTTTT FFFFFFFFFF UUU UUU LLL FFFFFFFFFF IIIIIIIIIII SSSSSSSSSS TTTTTTTTTTTTT FFFFFFFFFF UUU UUU LLL FFF III SSSS SSS TTT FFF UUU UUU LLL FFF III SSSS SS TTT FFF UUU UUU LLL FFFFFF III SSSS TTT FFFFFF UUU UUU LLL FFFFFF III SSSS TTT FFFFFF UUU UUU LLL FFF III SSSS TTT FFF UUU UUU LLL FFF III SSSS TTT FFF UUU UUU LLL FFF III SS SSSS TTT FFF UUU UUU LLL FFF III SSS SSSS TTT FFF UUU UUU LLL FFF IIIIIIIII SSSSSSSSSSS TTT FFF UUUUUUUUUUUU LLLLLLLLLLL FFF IIIIIIIII SSSSSSSSS TTT FFF UUUUUUUU LLLLLLLLLLL OOOOOOOO FFFFFFFFFF BBBBBBBBB EEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE SSSSSSSS OOOOOOOOOOOO FFFFFFFFFF BBBBBBBBBB EEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE SSSSSSSSSS OOO OOO FFF BBB BBB EEE EEE SSSS SSS OOO OOO FFF BBB BBB EEE EEE SSSS SS OOO OOO FFFFFF BBB BBB EEEEEEE EEEEEE SSSS OOO OOO FFFFFF BBBBBBBBBB EEEEEEE EEEEEE SSSS OOO OOO FFF BBBBBBBBBB EEE EEE SSSS OOO OOO FFF BBB BBB EEE EEE SSSS OOO OOO FFF BBB BBB EEE EEE SS SSSS OOO OOO FFF BBB BBB EEE EEE SSS SSSS OOOOOOOOOOOO FFF BBBBBBBBBB EEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE SSSSSSSSSSS OOOOOOOO FFF BBBBBBBBB EEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE SSSSSSSSS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ISSUE #1 APRIL 2004 ***THE SEX ISSUE*** 1. Editor's notes 2. "Junk Sex" by Sarah Jaffe 3. "Snakes Slitherin' Through the Streets of Sodom" by Mr. d. Scrud 4. "A True Story" by Alexis 5. "Interview with a Suicide Girl" by Mary 6. About Fistful of Bees ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Editor's Notes: Welcome to issue #1 of Fistful of Bees. Most of what it contains is content I've had sitting around for a year or more, intended for a print zine which never materialized for various reasons. Laziness, mostly. I decided that the easiest way to distribute it was to merge everything into one txt document, and send it out via email and usenet, so here you have it. In the future, I hope to put out an issue of FoB around the first of every month... or however frequently I feel like... based on this assertion, FoB #2 should be ready to go around May 1. If you're interested in submitting something for that particular issue, the theme is going to be "religion", and you should try to have it to me by the last week of April. See the "About FoB" section at the bottom for submission guidelines. One more thing: if you received this via email, feel free to forward it to anyone you think might be interested in reading it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Junk Sex" By Sarah Jaffe ------------- Sex sex sex sex. You wouldn't think sex would be so hard to write about, would you? I mean, everywhere you look, you trip over it. It oozes from your television set, magazine covers whisper it at you as you walk past, billboards advertise it along with beer, movies, low-carb diets. But most of that seems to be what Annie Sprinkle would call "junk sex." It's not anything fulfilling or helpful, just the promise of a fast, hard, temporary good time. Sex is a commodity these days just like anything else, and everybody wants it, and then wonders why when they're done they just want more. Junk sex. Like Janet Jackson's breast revealed for half a second during the Super Bowl before the cameras cut away, no one really gets enough to make them happy, and heaped on top of that they get guilt for wanting it. We toss around words like "slut," but how many of those same people downloaded Paris Hilton's video? Emma Forrest, one of my favourite novelists, wrote, "Life for him must be like one long game of Alien Invaders. Every time he blows up, another one comes along," of a character who has to fuck a new girl every night. You wonder: if certain people couldn't TALK about sex, would they bother doing it? Why do people need to videotape themselves having sex? I'm sure everyone knows at least one person who seems much more interested in the bragging rights than the actual process. While I'm on the subject of bragging rights, let's talk about groupies. People who want to fuck someone famous--why? So they can tell everyone later, "Hey, I slept with Axl Rose!"? Brody Dalle (formerly Armstrong) of the Distillers, in an interview, talked about women being uncomfortable with fame and power because they're taught to look for a man more powerful than they are, and when they're on top, there is no 'alpha male.' So fucking what? Who cares what goes on in your bedroom anyway? In the U.S. right now people want to amend the Constitution to make gay marriage officially illegal. I still don't get it. Why are people so concerned with who other people are fucking or not fucking? Does it really make a difference to you if the couple next door are Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve? Most of the time, you don't even know. My neighbours wouldn't know if my roommate and I were lovers or just roommates, and I'm sure they don't spend any time thinking about it, unless perhaps we became famous and they could sell the pictures of us screwing to US Weekly. Again--saleable commodities. When Emma Goldman argued for free love in the early part of the 20th century, she didn't argue for people's rights to plaster images of sex all over the evening newspaper. She simply wanted people to be able to have sex however and with whomever they wanted, without being treated like possessions. Now, instead, the sex itself is a possession. Have we really made any progress??? ------------- Sarah Jaffe is a writer who lives in Denver, Colorado against her better judgment. She divides her time between getting a better and cheaper education from books than she did from college, and stalking Colorado Avalanche hockey players. She's saving money to move to Canada, but it would make the move easier if you'd marry her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Snakes Slitherin' Through the Streets of Sodom" By Mr. d. Scrud ------------- I heard a story about a snake once. It was climbing up a tree telling people to eat apples and such. He told some woman, she listened, egged on her man and thus evil was born. Evil? What is evil you ask of me? Well, according to these scribblin' jive talkin' self-appointed kahunas, evil was when those two jerks figured out they were naked. See, they got real scared and hid in the bushes. The scribblers took notes. Now, we got the snake and girl doin' the man wrong. Right from the start. So they say, but what did they know. Nothing really, they were just a bunch of goof balls writing nonsense in an attempt to strip the human race of sexuality. They got all sorts of rules for the snakes. Don't jerk it! Put it away! Use only for reproduction! Don't share it with the neighbours! Don't look at my daughter naked! And so on and so forth. They told the girls to clam up tight. They told them all sorts of things about how they shouldn't learn to swallow snake spit and such. Told them to stay home and watch the aftermath of what happens when they open up for a little deep space snake exploration. Around the same time, in city of Sodom a bunch of rockers were rockin' out with their cocks out. Everybody was takin' it. Every hole plugged. In the bedrooms, in the bath houses, on the streets, dirty love bloomed everywhere. These sexed up Sodomites were a real problem for the scribblers. It was simple; these scribblers just couldn't get any slithering snake sodomy for themselves. The scribblers spent too much time writing bullshit stories and not enough time brewing and consuming the finest of the first fermented drinks. Nature's gold, beer. "So what do we got?" asked one blue-balled scribbler to the next. "Sex and Drugs in the city of Sodom." said the homosexually repressed one. They were shakin' in their snake skin boots let me tell ya. So they finished their overrated coffee table book by saying that if anything else real nasty came along everyone was gonna be screwed, and not in the good way. Yep, these jerks called it "The Apocalypse." They waited and waited for some longhaired weakling to rise up from the dead. He didn't, but they kept on waitin'. They had been basing their lives around a little thingee they dubbed the Holy Trinity. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. What a bunch of losers. They got pissed the Unholy Trinity got completed first. That's right Rock and Roll rose up and kicked everyone's ass. Those scribblers are still waitin'. Well, baby doll. The Apocalypse is here. Only it ain't a bad thing. Just like snakes, they're real good to us. Tell us things which are good to know. So listen up when I say this to you. Snakes ain't never done no man wrong. Long live Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll. ------------- Mr. d. Scrud is a professional rock and roller and man-whore. He lives in Fredericton, New Brunswick. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "A True Story" By Alexis ------------- As usual, I was thumbing through the back pages of the Philadelphia Citypaper, looking at listings for services of sexual deviancy... and I come across: -------------------------------------------------------- THE ROYAL CASTLE - Elegant Melodrama - mistresses/submissives ready to serve your every need. Call xxx-xxx-xxxx. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com HIRING -------------------------------------------------------- And half-joking, half-serious, and mostly curious, I sent them an email with choice photos. The next day I get a call from a 'Princess Paulina' asking me to come in for an interview. She didn't give me an exact address of where to meet her that night... she just said to call when I was at the corner of X and Y in Philly. Oh how secretive... When I called, she directed me a hidden entrance, and up a freight elevator I went. I tingled at my new shady discovery. As I got closer, I felt ill prepared for my interview... what do you bring to a dominatrix interview? My resume? A reference? Do I give her a lap dance? She asked if I had 'previous experience' to which I had none, but I'm sure my bushy tailed optimism convinced her to hire me. She went into job details - Clients are by appointment only, usual busy shifts are the most explainable absence times (ie. lunch breaks and after work happy hour), more money is made doing both submissive/dominant roles, it's up to me how far I 'go', but ultimately I have to let em...err... release themselves. Then she said: 1 hour = $100. Bling! With dollar bill signs in my eyes, I headed to the local stripper outlet (Ezone in Philly) to get sex business basics - yes honey, there is a dress code: 6" stilettos, mini skirt, thigh his, wig, corset, and a drag equivalent of makeup. On my first day, I am greeting by amazonian women... one strikingly intimidating tall world weary mistress came up and shook my hand, and says "I just took a shit, and didn't wash hands".... I laughed nervously "Hahahaha... ha?" Then she took me on a tour... Alexis's big eyes widened to the size of Bat Boy's at the array of belts, paddles, clamps, handcuffs, strap on's, dildo's - sized small, medium, large, with or w/o balls... torture rooms, medical rooms, and code words such as DT (dildo training) and the meaning of a Full Toilet. I decided right then that I was going to be a lazy dominatrix. Torturing and spanking, that was too much work. I'd like to be worshiped, they can kiss my toes and lick my stockings, and I'll even pee on them. No problem, easiest hundred bucks I've ever made. So now I was supposed to walk into the middle of a session and 'join in'. I heard noises behind the door - smacking and popping and moans of 'yes mistress' ... I was afraid to walk in, but my then trainer opened the door and shoved me in despite my resistance. Fire. The dom was holding up fire and was tracing it along his genitals, singing the hair and the burning smell was tickling my nose. His weenie endured 100 wacks with a paddle, hot wax, clawing, all while having a huge black cock being inserted into his... when his weenie started to turn a shade of purple, I was about to scream 'Let the man go you sadists!', but the guy loved every minute of it. To top it off... he came into his own mouth. Damn. The next session featured a short squat man w/ a moustache and farmers tan, definitely someone's DAD, which weirded me out, and he had a bellybutton obsession and spanking fetish. He dropped his pants (kids, I did NOT want to see this, but it's one of those situations I always get stuck in and don't know how to get out of), and the mistress attempts to put a vibrating cock ring around his green eggs and ham. It fell off, and the mistress smirks "Hah! You're too small to hold it up!" Ouch dude. He bent over the spanking horse and requested that I should spank his flat, flabby bum, and wiggled it in front of me... I could see his hairy hole opening and wanting more, squeezing and opening his ass cheeks in anticipation. What the hell did I get myself into??? I was going to be sick. Then the Mistress grabbed me and threw me over her lap so the old man could watch, and she lifted up my knickers and started to spank me until my bum was a shade of mottled crimson and was 20 degrees hotter than the rest of my body. To 'finish off', the old man wanted to lick our bellybuttons... As my belly button was getting raped by the old man's tongue, I realized that this amount of body contact would eventually lead to sexual trauma, and that's the last thing we all want, and that this was it for Alexis... yep, this thought came right as the old man did, narrowly missing spunking all over my leg. ------------- Alexis is a 22-year-old writer and occasional sex worker who lives in Philadelphia. She is not on fire. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Interview with a Suicide Girl" By Mary ------------- For the uninitiated, suicidegirls.com is an adult website/online community featuring pin-up style photographs of punk rock, goth and emo girls ("It's not porn, it's punk-rotica!"). Both members and models create a profile page on the site with a journal, pics and a list of friends on the site (think Friendster). SG has been around since early 2002, and receives around half a million unique hits a week. Along with all the nudity and standard message board bickering, SG also features exclusive interviews (which you can read for free without buying a membership) with interesting people like Annie Sprinkle, David Cross, Merle Allin, Eric Idle and Lemmy. I interviewed Synnove Suicide [rhymes with 'sin clove fluid ride'] via email in the summer of 2003. Here's what she had to say about empowerment, sexual politics, and being naked on the internet: ------------- Mary: Other than Suicide Girl, what is your occupation? Synnove: I was a full time student, but I've just recently graduated from university this spring. So now I'm delving into the working world, looking for a job and what not. I'm thinking about going back to school once I can afford it. M: How did you first hear about the site? S: One of my friends sent me the url last year in January I believe. He said "You should apply to model for this site!" and I just laughed thinking it was some hardcore porn site and didn't really think about it. M: I know you were a member of the site for a while before you turned pink [when a member of SG applies and is accepted as a model, all their posts on the message boards etc. turn pink -- hence referring to becoming a model as "turning pink"]. Did you join the site with the intention of becoming an SG? S: Yeah another friend of mine bought me a month's membership as a gift, he wanted me to check it out. I had no intention in joining because I didn't really know what SG was all about. But once I started exploring the site I thought it was just incredible. I realized that a lot of the photos were on the artistic/pin-up side, and the overall atmosphere was just... comfortable. That might sound cheesy, but I instantly felt comfortable around all the people there. M: A lot of the girls see their decision to be an SG as a political statement, while others see it as something that's just fun and sexy. What made you wanna get nakkey on the internet? S: I was instantly enamoured by all the models, going through their journals and their profiles. They were all so witty and intelligent. They were just REAL. It was just really refreshing. Once I saw that the site wasn't full of the stereo-typical "blonde bombshells" that just smiled pretty for the camera and weren't allowed to speak for themselves, I just thought, right on I want to be a part of this. And you don't have to be a 5'10 weighing in at only 99 lbs. They welcome so much diversity on the site. The models can keep journals and take part in discussions on the boards and in the groups ranging from politics, music, graphic design, philosophy, and cyberpunk. The list just goes on. Through the online community people are able to meet others that share the likes and dislikes that they probably wouldn't be able meet otherwise. There are always SG related gatherings and events going on through out the world! It's amazing. SGSanFran[cisco] had their own prom, SGOhio spent a weekend at an amusement park, other members get together once a week to either go out for curry or just hang out at someone's place and watch movies. It's amazing to see the people come together on the site. M: What has been the best part of being an SG so far? S: All the amazing people I've met. I've made so many awesome friends through the site, the community is just rad. The other SGs are some of the most amazing women I've ever gotten to know, they're all so talented, intelligent, and gorgeous. But the staff is probably the best part of SG. They work so hard, and are always working away at adding new features for the members and the girls. They're always around to talk to everyone and sometimes I forget that they're even staff. They're just really good friends to everyone as well, but at the same time they keep things on a very professional level. They're always there when you need them. M: Have you had any negative experiences because of the site you want to talk about? Have you ever had to ask that someone be zotted [members get "zotted" or kicked off the site routinely for any number of reasons, ranging from harassment to promoting hate speech]? S: I've had a few negative experiences, but the positive ones outweigh the negative by far. No matter what you get yourself into you're going to have some negative experiences but you just have to ignore them and move along. For every negative experience there are 100 positive ones so I can't really complain. And yes, I did have to ask for some zott action. And I can't lie... that part is always fun. But it's great how there is a zero tolerance for bullshit. It makes the online community that much safer and enjoyable for everyone. M: Have you told a lot of people in "real life" about the site? What has the reaction been from people who know you outside of SG? S: Quite a bit of people know, and they've all been really great and supportive. M: Do you worry that your SG pics might come back to haunt you someday if you try to run for President or something? S: Not in the least, I live with no regrets. And if a certain job does not want me to be a part of their team because of some photos, I don't want to be associated with them anyway. M: If you were a superhero, who would you be, and what would be your super power? S: Well I already am a superhero you see... I'm Super Synnove, and I have the power to get people zotted. ------------- Synnove Suicide lives in an undisclosed location but will soon be moving to Wisconsin to be near her long distance love-ah. According to her profile on the site, brownies and armpits make her hot. Seriously. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ABOUT FISTFUL OF BEES SUBSCRIPTIONS: Fistful of Bees comes out at the beginning of every month, or whenever I get around to it. You can subscribe via email by sending a message to fistfulofbees@hotmail.com with "subscribe" as the subject. Similarly, if you want to be removed from the subscribers list, send an email to the same address with "remove" as the subject. You can also view individual issues of FoB at this address: http://www.geocities.com/fistfulofbees/zine.html SUBMISSIONS: I'll put just about anything in FoB -- except poetry. Save it for your English teacher. Send your submission to fistfulofbees@hotmail.com either embedded in the message or as a .txt file. Also include a little bit about yourself with your submission. You don't have to give me your name, but your a/s/l and a name or pseudonym you want me to use would be good. Just make everything up if you want, I don't care. Although each issue has a "theme", don't worry about whether or not your stuff will fit in with it. That's my job. And besides, for the most part, I take whatever content I have laying around construct a theme based on that, rather than coming up with the theme first. So if you send me something and I like it, I'll work it in one way or another. CONTACT: As you may have figured out, you can send any comments or suggestions to fistfulofbees@hotmail.com. However, be aware that any mail you send me may end up in a future issue of FoB. Especially if you're a dumbass and I want to ridicule you publicly. Dig it. Oh, and you can find me on MSN sometimes too, although the same rule applies. You guessed it: fistfulofbees@hotmail.com. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~