A new Newsletter Mom has been found! Let the joy be unconfined! The future editor of AutismNews (this being my last issue) is Amy Hebel. At this time let me start the process of informing folks that when you subscribe/renew this newsletter, from now on please make your checks out to Autism News, and mail them (also any items you have for the newsletter) to the new P.O. Box listed below. I will be keeping the on-line list a-going, and keeping the website up at the same old www address. I have enjoyed (in my own warped way) compiling and mailing this snailmail newsletter each month for the past five years, but as my 8 year old just reminded me "You are getting old Mom, and need to rest." Everyone gives three cheers for Amy!!!

Bear with us both for the next few months as I try to remember everything I need to pass on to Amy, and she plays with getting this newsletter into a format that pleases her.

Thanks to all of this month's contributing Newsletter Moms and Dads! Anybody with news to share, deadline is more or less the third Monday, monthly, for the next issue.

New! Autism News
P.O. Box 1255
Crystal Lake, IL 60039-1255

Contents for December 2001

• Multiple Meetings
• Conferences - Workshops
• E-group for Dads Only
• Relationships for People with Special Needs
• Advocacy Conferences
• Homeschooling Support
• Illinois State Board of Education Parent Meetings
• Visual Recipes Cookbook
• Commission on Special Education --Fame and Shame from the Mothers from Hell2
• Cure Autism Now-  traders benefit and Chicago Auto Show
• Holiday letter for your relatives

Back to www.autismnews.net

All are opportunities to network/vent/commiserate with your fellow parents unless a speaker is mentioned. All data current as of 11/23
 

December 1, O'Fallon, 10:00am - noon

Autism Society of Southern Illinois meets the first Saturday of each month (second Saturday if a holiday weekends) at the O'Fallon Public Library, 120 Civic Plaza. Call 618/682-3783 or email [email protected] for info.
 

December 3, Park Ridge 7:00pm

Parent-2-Parent for Special Students meets at the Maine Twp. Admin. Bldg. , 1700 Ballard Road, Park Ridge.Eva:(847) 699-1223, email: [email protected]
 

December 4, Skokie 7:00pm

Our December 4, 2001 meeting will feature guest speaker Linda Preston, consultant in relationships for people with special needs. North Suburban ASI chapter meets at Skokie Village Hall ,5127 W. Oakton , Lower Level - Community Room. Michael: 847/541-9969, email [email protected] (see bigger blurb on this meeting elsewhere in the newsletter!)
 

December 7, Romeoville 6:30pm (also Dec. 27th)

Parent support group meets once again at R.C. Hill Elementary School, 616 Dalhart Ave. This group will also be meeting December 27 for a holiday party at the Enchanted Castle in Lombard from 5-8:00p.m.!!! Miki:815/886-0080
 

December 8 , Rockford 9:30 - 11:30am

The Northwest Illinois Autism Support Group this month meets to both network and to plan next year's meetings. Bring your ideas to Children's Development Center, 650 N. Main.. Note that from now on you need to register at least a few days in advance to attend this meeting and to reserve free on-site kidkare. Call Patty Hobbs: 815/965-6745
 

December 10, Chicago 6:00pm

Parent support group of Illinois Masonic meets at The Pediatric Development Center, 3040 N. Wilton, 2nd fl. Kidkare is available IF you RSVP ASAP. Val: 773/296-5854.
 

December 11, Galena 6:30pm

Galena Parent Advocates meets monthly; locations vary but this month should be at the Galena ARC, 413 S. Bench St. Come network, and bring ideas to share on "How to Help Our Children Tolerate the Madness of the Holiday Season". See www.galenaparentadvocates.com for more info.
 

December 11, Villa Park 7:00pm

Parent support group meets at DuPage Easter Seals. Limited on-site free kidkare if you rsvp in ADVANCE - please call Sharon Pike at 630/620-4433.
 

December 11, Peoria 6:30-8:00pm

Parent support group will meet at Faith Missionary Church, 1825 S. Airport Rd. in Bartonville (near Peoria) for a holiday party! Please RSVP to Lauri at 309/697-3300 or [email protected]. (bet she asks you to bring some cookies!)
 

December 11, Marengo 12:30-2:30pm (yes, mid-day!!)

Parents of kids with special needs note that there is a support group meeting in Marengo every other Tuesday while the kids are still in school ( so no need to find a sitter!!). Take a long lunch break and come network - you deserve it! When you call to RSVP Linda will tell you where the meeting is to be held so ring her up at: 815/568-8364.
 

December 11, Chicago 6:00pm

The ASI Metropolitan Chicago Chapter meets at the Easter Seal Therapeutic Day School, ITT campus, 3424 S. State St. Grace: 773-233-4716.
 

December 13, Plainfield 6:30pm

Support group to meet at Lakewood Falls Elementary School, 14050 S. Budler Rd. (yes, on a Thursday this month). Lupe: [email protected] or call 815/293-0529.
 

December 13, Gurnee 7:00pm

Come to the Warren Township Center (Southwest Corner of Washington and Almond Rds.) for an evening of networking with your fellow harried parents. Look for signs - we are meeting in the Board Room there this month, in a different building of the complex. Eric: 847/543-4502.
 

December 13, Freeport 6:00pm

Networking For Families has found a new home at the Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center, NICAA Head Start Program, 511 S. Liberty Ave. A pizza supper will always be provided, too! This month parents will have Mike Komisky from the ARC of Illinois giving a Lifespan Project presentation (this is a formation of a comprehensive compilation of disability services in Illinois). Cathy Varner of Communication Matters, Inc. will teach the Sib Group (ages 8 and up) some basic sign language. As always, child care is provided, separately, for younger kids and kids with special needs. Beth: 815/362-2410.

December 16, North Riverside 2-4:00pm

Asperger/High-Functioning Autism Support Group meets at the North Riverside Public Library, 2400 S. Des Plaines. Looks like this month there is a AS/HFA Film Festival being planned! Debbie: 708/383-1209
 

December 27, Oak Lawn 7:00pm

Parent support group that meets at Hope Children Hospital, sw corner 93rd & Kostner, will be meeting elsewhere this month for a holiday celebration. Come to the Old Barn at State Rd. and Central Ave. in Burbank. Call Jean for more info about the event at 708/229-0653.
 
 

Elmhurst

Center for Speech and Language Disorders Parent Support Group that meets at 195 W. Spangler, Suite B. For more information e-mail CSLD at [email protected]. or call Evelyn Miko at (630) 530-8551 ext. 104

Bolingbrook
The Far West Suburban ASI Chapter. Call 630/969-1094 for support group info.

Chicago
Chicago South Side ASI chapter . Wanda: 815/469-5870

Flossmoor
Chicago South Suburban ASI Chapter. Penney: 815 /462-4551

Geneva
Parent support group that meets at the Chronicle Building, 1000 Randall Road. Shelley Swanson: 630/208-8880

Schaumburg
Northwest Suburban ASI Chapter. Randee : 847/884-9194.

Wheaton
Advocacy 200. Brian:630/462-1980
 

Contents for December

NOTE - StarNet workshops give priority to parents living within their region. If there is a workshop you wish to attend but it is not in your region - let your local StarNet folks know you'd like them to replicate it in your region. StarNet folks are waiting to hear from you. Don't make 'em guess what you want or need to learn about.
 

December 1, Chicago

"School Discipline: IDEA and Illinois Rules"

Special Education Attorney Matt Cohen will provide all the info you need (or hope you won't need) to deal with school discipline of your special kid. This all-day event is sponsored by the Family Resource Center on Disabilities so contact them at 312/939-3513 to see if there is still space available.
 

December 4-5, Carol Stream

"Discrete Trial for Games/Recreation/Leisure"

One of the Illinois Autism/PDD Training and Technical Assistance Project Parent Trainings. For more info about this training contact Kathy Gould, Project Director, at 708/354-5730, email [email protected], or visit www.illinoisautismproject.org
 

****December 5, Highland Park

"Adapting Curriculum and Implementing Visual Strategies for Students with Autism Spectrum Disorders"

Staff of The Classroom Connection will discuss strategies and provide examples in the first of an 8-part series of school-oriented workshops. Participants are encouraged to bring their own ideas and/or samples to share. Also, using an available Boardmaker, laminator (etc) attendees can make materials to use in their educational setting. There is no charge to attend this workshop, but you MUST RSVP in advance to Chris at 847/681-0324.
 

December 5, Rockford

"Behavioral Support in the Classroom: Design to Implementation"

Victor Morris, L.C.S.W. will include a model for understanding student behavioral needs as part of this presentation. This is one of a series of workshops sponsored by The Northwestern Illinois Association. Registration is by mail only, so call NIA 815/226-3302, ext. 14 and ask to be sent a registration form today if interested. Preference given to folks living in Rockford and surrounding counties.

December 7, Collinsville

"Trials, Tribulations and Triumphs"

Liane Holliday Willey, adult with Aspergers and author of Pretending to be Normal, will lead this full-day workshop. Call 681/397-2131 for registration information.

****December 10 - 11, Springfield

February 25-26, Glen Ellyn

"Educating and Supporting Students with Asperger Syndrome"

Nan Negri, Ph.D. , Jenny Potanos, M.A. CCC/SLP, & Kate McGinnity, M.S. present this 2-day training offered by the Illinois Autism/PDD Training and Technical Assistance Project. Priority in attending either of these extensive workshops will be given folks (combinations of parents and professionals) registering as a team of 3 - 4 professionals and a parent. Gather up your kid's teacher and grab the inclusion facilitator, etc. and contact Kathy Gould or Alyson Beytien at 708/354-5730 to request a registration application. For more info also check out www.illinoisautismproject.org

December 10, Lake Zurich

"Do's & Don'ts for Serving Children with Autism: Mistakes Along the Way"

Karen Simon-Leff , using videos that demonstrates integrated therapy & services, explores the benefits of this model, practices that work, and what happens when interventions backfire. Strategies for shaping a child's progress over time will also be discusses. Contact StarNet Region II for registration info at 847/305-3565.
 

December 14, Chicago

"Activity Schedules"

Mary Crissman leads this workshop on how to create and use activity schedules for kids with autism, including how to troubleshoot common problems. Contact StarNet Region V for registration info at: 773/553-3413
 

January 16, Schaumburg

"Building an Effective IEP: 8 Steps of Negotiation"

Jennifer Bollero & Pat Kluzik Stauch

Parent and Attorney Jennifer Bollero has developed an 8-step negotiation process that can help parents and professions collaborate effectively to create IEPs that can truly benefit a child. An overview of IDEA is included. If you haven't yet had a change to absorb Jenny's knowledge, now's your chance. Contact StarNet Region II for registration material at 847/803-3565
 

January 17 & 18, Rosemont

"PECS - Picture Exchange Communication System Workshop"

Mindy Glassberg and Jo-Anne Matteo, M.S. CCC/SLP from Pyramid Educational Consultants will present this two-day workshop (rescheduled from November) at the O'Hare Holiday Inn in Rosemont. Cost is $235/parent (more for professionals) as this will be a substantial PECS training from the PECS folks themselves! Cost includes a PECS manual, detailed handouts, and meals. For more information about either this workshop or PECS please contact:
 

Erin DiMaio, Conference Coordinator
Pyramid Educational Consultants, Inc.
226 West Park Place, Suite 1
Newark, DE 19711
Phone: (302) 368-2515
Toll free: (888) 732-7462
Fax: (302) 368-2516
www.pecs.com
[email protected]

January 18, Tinley Park

"Autism - A Parent's Perspective"

Susan Merano is listed as the presenter for this StarNet Region VI offering. For more info about registering for this presentation call 708/342-5370
 

****January 25, Lansing, IL

"Legal and Future Care Planning for Your Relative with a Developmental Disability"

Theresa M. Varnet, M.S.W., J.D., parent and experienced advocate, also specialist in probate and estate planning for folks with disabilities, periodically gives this useful presentation on a topic we all most likely need to think about and deal with. This presentation will be hosted by LARC. Please call 708/474-1540 for more details. (see also 3/15 for a repeat presentation in Arlington Heights).
 

****January 25, Downers Grove

"I Want to Live...& A Career In..."

Staff from Everyone is Welcome will present this workshop on innovative residential and employment supports for adults (and our kids do grow up) with disabilities. Also discussed will be Medicaid and the Medicaid Waiver. For more info contact the folks at Everyone is Welcome: 630/584-0970, [email protected].
 

****January 28-30, Glen Ellyn

March 12-14, Peoria

Autism - Middle/High School Team Training

Nan Negri, Ph.D. , Jenny Potanos, M.A. CCC/SLP, Kate McGinnity, M.S., Victor Morris, L.C.S.W. & Michael Shoultz, Ph.D. present this 3-day training offered by the Illinois Autism/PDD Training and Technical Assistance Project. Priority in attending either of these extensive workshops will be given folks (combinations of parents and professionals) registering as a team of 3 - 4 professionals and a parent. Gather up your kid's teacher and grab the inclusion facilitator, etc. and contact Kathy Gould or Alyson Beytien at 708/354-5730 to request a registration application. For more info also check out www.illinoisautismproject.org
 

February 7, Chicago

"Understanding Aspergers Disorder"

Marrea Winnega, Ph.D. presents this overview of what is (and isn't) Aspergers Disorder. Theory of Mind will also be discussed. Contact StarNet Region V for registration information at: 773/553-3413
 

February 15, Chicago

"Functional Behavior Assessments: Tools for Designing Behavior Intervention Plans for Young Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders"

Sue Epich & Lorrain Altamirano will cover the above topic - for more info or to register contact StarNet Region V at 773/553-3413
 

February 19, Elk Grove Village

"PECS: Picture Exchange Communication System"

Teri Louer will run this workshop focusing on understanding and using PECS in place of using communication in "maladaptive" ways (kid, don't throw a sippy cup at me to get juice - hand me the symbol card for juice!). For registration info contact StarNet Region II at 847/803-3565
 

****February 22, Downers Grove

"Transition Planning - Why Is It So Important?"

Staff from Everyone is Welcome will present this workshop that will help explain what transition planning is, and why it is so important. Learn how to develop an effective plan for your child - there is life after high school. For more info contact the folks at Everyone is Welcome: 630/584-0970, [email protected].
 

February 23, 2002, Skokie

Day-long Special Education Law Seminar with Peter and Pam Wright

Yes, the folks from Wrightslaw are coming to Illinois! Peter Wright, the nationally known special education attorney and advocate along with his wife, psychotherapist Pam Wright, will present a day long seminar for parents, teachers, administrators and other related professionals. Register early, as this event will certainly be sold out. Limited seating available. [email protected] or call Special Connections at 312/914-0591.
 
 

****February 25-26, Glen Ellyn

"Educating and Supporting Students with Asperger Syndrome"

see December 10-11 for more information or call 708/354-5730.
 

February 26, 2002, Rockford

"PECS, Social Stories and Social Skills"

Peg Mazeika will lead a hands-on day exploring all of the above. Yes, another from the NIA series - figured I'd best include them all, since they do fill up fast. Registration is by mail only, so call NIA 815/226-3302, ext. 14 and ask to be sent a registration form today if interested. Preference given to folks living in Rockford and surrounding counties.
 

February 26, 2002, Carol Stream

"Introduction to Autism and Visual Strategies for Children with Autism and other Communication Disorders"

One of the Illinois Autism/PDD Training and Technical Assistance Project Parent Trainings. For more info about this training contact Kathy Gould, Project Director, at 708/354-5730, email [email protected], or visit www.illinoisautismproject.org
 

****March 12-14, Peoria

Autism - Middle/High School Team Training

See under January 28-30 or call 708-354-5730 for more info.
 

****March 15, Arlington Heights

"Legal and Future Care Planning for Your Relative with a Developmental Disability"

Theresa M. Varnet, M.S.W., J.D., parent and experienced advocate, also specialist in probate and estate planning for folks with disabilities, periodically gives this useful presentation on a topic we all most likely need to think about and deal with. This presentation will be hosted by Glenkirk. Please call 847/504-2732 for more details. (This is a repeat of the 1/25 presentation in Lansing.)
 

****March 21, Chicago

"Habits, Rituals and Aggression and Methods to Modify"

Alice Belgrade presents this workshop on how to understand the function of, and then work to modify and/or eliminate undesirable habits, etc. of the person with autism. For more info contact StarNet Region V at 773/553-3413
 

****March 22, Downers Grove

"How Parents Can Effect Positive Change in Our Schools"

Staff from Everyone is Welcome will teach strategies for effectively collaborating with schools on behalf of one's child. Also learn how to join with other parents to be voices for all children, and how to start a parent group. Collective voices get more attention than single voices. For more info contact the folks at Everyone is Welcome: 630/584-0970, [email protected].
 

Contents for December

"We have formed a Dad's e-group, for fathers who have children with autism. The group is an extension of the ASA conference presentation, "For Dads Only". We hope this will be a valuable asset to the autism community, and offer ideas, support and information to all the Dads out there. To subscribe, go to:

Thanks - Artie Kempner (President of the Delaware ASA)

Contents for December

"Our December 4th meeting will feature guest speaker Linda Preston, consultant in relationships for people with special needs, including those with autism spectrum disorders and its related disorders. Ms. Preston has a B.A. degree in Education and Sociology along with a Bachelor's in Judaic Studies. She is currently a graduate student in her last semester at DePaul University, where her focus area of study is "facilitating relationships and sexuality for people with developmental disabilities." Ms. Preston has taught adults at varying levels of ability and disability subjects relating to sexuality, relationships skills and person-centered planning. Ms. Preston has a 21-year-old son who has Down syndrome and it is he who led her into this academic and professional focus. She realized that her son obviously needed help and saw there were so few people who knew what to do with regard to teach him about relationships and his own sexuality. Ms. Preston will discuss issues that adolescent's with autism spectrum disorder face in terms of emerging sexuality, both internally and in their external environments. What support we can give them in terms of environmental adaptations and in terms of teaching and coaching. Ms. Preston is particularly concerned about the young children. She thinks that we can do a lot while the children are still young that will prevent problems later on and make it easier for them to be comfortable as their bodies go though the natural changes of life. Ms. Preston believes that parents are the main educators in the area of sex education and will discuss their fears and attitudes towards sexuality. Plan to attend this meeting and learn more about your child's special needs in regards to his / her sexuality and relationship to others. Linda will allow ample time for questions and discussion. Mark your calendars now, as you will not want to miss this most informative speaker. This is a must attend meeting!"
 

This meeting will be held Tuesday, December 4, 2001, at the Skokie Village Hall, 5127 W. Oakton, Lower Level - Community Room from 7:00 - 9:00 P.M.
 

For more information contact Michael: 847/541-9969, email [email protected]
 

Contents for December

Are you homeschooling a child with special learning needs? You may be interested in applying to the Homeschool Foundation Scholarship Fund. The Special Needs Children Fund is designed to assist home schooling families with the financial challenges of privately meeting the academic needs of their special needs child. Applications for scholarships will be accepted beginning January 2002. The application can be seen and printed out from this website:

http://www.homeschoolfoundation.org/SpecialNeedsApp.pdf

Initially, the Fund will limit scholarships to families struggling financially whose children suffer from severe learning disabilities. Provided that sufficient funds become available, we will begin taking other applications in June 2002. Funds will be disbursed based on financial considerations and severity of disability. Families will be asked to demonstrate financial need and provide a detailed explanation of the challenges faced by their child. Funds will be made available to families with children who have learning disabilities, mental retardation, hearing or visual impairments, and severe disorders or syndromes.

Scholarships will range from $50-$1000 per family each year. Though the scholarship will not automatically be extended to the next year, families may reapply in each succeeding year. If you have any questions on this fund, please call us at 540-338-5600.
 

Contents for December

ISBE has scheduled meetings to receive public comment on the delivery of special education services, IEPs, Extended school year, and the state process of review and delivery of services.

TENTATIVE DATES FOR PARENT MEETINGS:

• December 3, 2001 Southwest Cook County Cooperative
• January 22, 2002 Valley View School District U365

Contents for December

It is with great excitement and delight that I bring you news that my book, Visual Recipes, is now in stock and available to order. Visual Recipes has been endorsed by some of the top professionals in the field of autism today among them, Temple Grandin, Gary Mesibov, Ph.D., and Elizabeth King Gerlach. This unique book was written for people with autism and other developmental disabilities. You do not have to read to follow the directions and achieve independence. Each recipe is presented using visual directions that contain highly broken down step by step instruction. Vibrant photographs and color coding teaches to the student's learning strengths while the detailed directions support their deficits. Independence is either immediate or quickly acquired.

• 7 are for Breakfast
• 11 for lunch
• 5 side orders
• 4 snacks
• 5 desserts and
• 3 drinks

Tabitha Orth
8420 SW Parkview Loop
Beaverton, OR 97008

You can e-mail me at: [email protected]
Or call me at: (503) 641-8666

Orders of 10 copies or more are handled through my publisher:

DRL Books, Inc.
12 West 18th Street
New York, NY 10011
Phone: 1-800-853-1057
Fax: 1-800-317-9146

Find out more about Visual Recipes at the publisher's web site and/or order on line: www.difflearn.com

Contents for December

FAME to President Bush for issuing an Executive order creating a commission on special education which is charged with preparing a report by April, 2002 with findings and recommendations. The President intends to appoint sixteen individuals to serve as Members of the newly-created President's Commission on Excellence in Special Education, including Terry Edward Branstad of Iowa* who will serve as Chairman, and a Katie Wright of Illinois. (Can anyone from the St. Louis area  send us some information about her?) Hey, the state of special education certainly needs a looking into... please start with Illinois!

SHAME, however, Mr. President, for allowing the chair of this commission to be former Iowa governor Terry Branstad, who has stated:
 
 

Gee, anyone wonder what will be the recommendations of the commission chaired by Branstand ? Somehow the Mothers doubt, too, that he would support the federal government living up to its promise to 40% fund IDEA. Is there no one with an open mind and with the interests of ALL children at heart available to chair this commission???
 

Since Amy is taking over this AutismNews, this is my last change here to plug the Brimstone Bulletin.... so I will!!! Everybody - if you haven't yet read our complimentary initial issue (June 2000) contact us and we will send it! If you have already seen it, or checked out our website, (www.mothersfromhell2.org) don't forget to send in your check for $10 to subscribe or renew, as the case may be (I am too egotistical to imagine ANYONE being able to resist the wit and witticism of the Mothers From Hell 2) . While you have that checkbook out, why not get your favorite teacher or therapist or frazzled friend a gift subscription? Just send their names and addresses, along with $10 per subscription, to:

Contents for December

Cure Autism Nowhas been nominated by one of CIBC's (formerly Oppenheimer) clients as a selected charity that will benefit from a program that involves CIBC donating all trading fees and commissions one day each year to children's charities. We are asking that you call any contacts that you have in the financial world to request that they place their trades on December 5th with CIBC. Their participating does not affect their cost in placing trades.

CURE AUTISM NOW is pleased to announce its participation in the 2002 Chicago Auto Show "First Look for Charity" inaugural black-tie fundraiser. The event will be held on February 7, 2002, the evening before the show opens to the public.

Thanks to the efforts of Cure Autism Now member Dan Wolf, of Wolf Lexus, Naperville and his family, CAN is fortunate to be among 17 distinguished Chicago charities included in this affair.

100 percent of the proceeds from ticket sales will directly benefit the charities. The competition to sell the allotted number of tickets to retain standing in the event is intense. WE NEED YOUR HELP!!

Please contact the Illinois Chapter of CAN at (630) 462-3250, if you would like to join us for our first planning meeting on December 5th or if you would like information on purchasing tickets. You can also e-mail us at [email protected] for further details. Also.....
 
 

We are gathering a group of supporters who can help us sell our share of tickets to this event. Your time commitment will be limited to attendance at no more than two committee meetings. The first planning meeting is scheduled for:

CAN appeals to you to attend the December 5th meeting. On that day event invitations and corporate and event brochures will be disseminated. There will also be discussion of strategies for meeting our goals. Your participation is critical if we are to get the job done! Family members and friends are also welcome. The more volunteer support CAN have, the more successful this fundraiser will be. Please RSVP to Patty Matteo at 773-281-7896 or email [email protected] if you can attend on the 5th,as soon as possible so that she may plan our luncheon accordingly.

www.autismnews.net
 

"Dear Family and Friends:"

     [This article appeared in the holiday 1999 issue of ASAP News! (Volume 3.5), the Autism Support and Advocacy Project and Potential Unlimited Publishing. It was originally reprinted by permission of editor/author, Viki Gayhardt, in the FEAT Daily Newsletter November 28, 1999.  I have now borrowed it from FEAT in the hopes may be of use to some of us as a hand-out to relatives over the holidays.]

    "Dear Family and Friends:" was written for the purpose of it being sent to relatives and hosts of holiday gatherings who might need a crash course in what to expect from their guest with autism.

     I understand that we will be visiting each other for the holidays this year!  Sometimes these visits can be very hard for me, but here is some information that might help our visit to be more successful.     As you probably know, I am challenged by a hidden disability called autism or what some people refer to as a pervasive developmental disorder (PDD).   Autism/PDD is a neurodevelopmental disorder which makes it hard for me to understand the environment around me.  I have barriers in my brain that you can't see but which make it difficult for me to adapt to my surroundings.
     Sometimes I may seem rude and abrupt, but it is only because I have to try so hard to understand people and at the same time, make myself understood. people with autism have different abilities: some may not speak, some write beautiful poetry,  others are whizzes in math (Albert Einstein was thought to be autistic), or have difficulty making friends. we are all different and need various degrees of support.
     Sometimes when I am touched unexpectedly, it might feel painful and make me want to run away.  I get easily frustrated, too.  Being with lots of other people is like standing next to a moving freight train and trying to decide how and when to jump aboard.  I feel frightened and confused a lot of the time, like you would if you landed on an alien planet and didn't understand how the inhabitants communicated. This is why I need to have things the same as much as possible.  Once I learn how things happen, I can get by ok.  But if something, anything changes, then I have to relearn the situation all over again!  It is very hard.
     When you try to talk to me, I often can't understand what you say because there is a lot of distraction around.  I have to concentrate very hard to hear and understand one thing at a time.
     You might think I am ignoring you--I am not.  Rather, I am hearing everything and not knowing what is most important to respond to.  Holidays are exceptionally hard because there are so many different people, places and things going on that are out of my ordinary realm.  This may be fun and adventurous for most people, but for me, it's very hard work and can be extremely stressful.
     I often have to get away from all the commotion to calm down.  It would be great if you had a private place set up to where I could retreat.    If I can not sit at the meal table, do not think I am misbehaved or that my parents have no control over me. Sitting in one place for even 5 minutes is often impossible for me.  I feel so antsy and overwhelmed by all the smells, sounds, and people--I just have to get up and move about. Please don't hold up your meal for me--go on without me and my parent's will handle the situation the best way they know.
     Eating in general is hard for me.  If you understand that autism is a sensory processing disorder, it's no wonder eating is a problem!  Think of all the senses involved with eating: sight, smell, taste, touch AND all the complicated mechanics that are involved with chewing and swallowing that a lot of people with autism have trouble with.  I am not being picky--I literally cannot eat certain foods as my sensory system and/or oral motor coordination are impaired.
     Don't be disappointed If mommy hasn't dressed me in starch and bows. it's because she knows how much stiff and frilly clothes can drive me buggy! I have to feel comfortable in my clothes or I will just be miserable! Temple Grandin, a very smart adult with autism, has taught people that when she had to wear stiff petticoats as a child, she felt like her skin was being rubbed with sandpaper.  I often feel the same way in dressy clothes.
     When I go to someone else's house, I may appear bossy and controlling. In a sense, I am being controlling because that is how I try to fit into the world around me (which is so hard to figure out!) Things have to be done in a way I am familiar with or else I might get confused and frustrated.  It doesn't mean you have to change the way you are doing things--just please be patient with me and understanding of how I have to cope...mom and dad have no control over how my autism makes me feel inside.
     People with autism often have little things that they do to help themselves feel more comfortable. The grown ups call it "Self regulation," or "stimming'.  I might rock, hum, flick my fingers in my face, flap my arms or any number of different things.  I am not trying to be disruptive or weird.  Again, I am doing what I have to do for my brain to adapt to your world.
                 Sometimes I cannot stop myself from talking, singing, or partaking in an activity.  The grown ups call this "perseverating" which is kinda like self regulation or stimming. I do this only because I have found something to occupy myself that makes me feel comfortable, and I don't want to come out of that comfortable place and join your hard-to-figure-out-world. Perseverative behaviors are good to a certain degree because they help me calm down.  Please be respectful to my mom and dad if they let me "stim" for awhile as they know me best and what helps to calm me.
     Remember that my mom and dad have to watch me much more closely than the average child.  This is for my own safety, preservation of your possessions, and to facilitate my integration with you tippies (what we autistics fondly call you neurotypical folk!)  It hurts My parents' feelings to be criticized for being over protective or condemned for not watching me close enough.  They are human and have been given an assignment intended for saints.  My parents are good people and need your support.
     Holidays are filled with sights, Sounds, and smells.  The average household is turned into a busy, frantic, festive place.  Remember that this may be fun for you tippies but it's very hard work for me to conform.  If I fall apart or act out in a way that you consider socially inappropriate, please remember that I don't possess the neurological system that is required to follow tippy rules.
     I am a unique person--an interesting person.  I will find my place at this celebration that is comfortable for us all as long as you'll try to view the world through my eyes!

Contents for December

www.autismnews.net

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