Cinderella - A New Take
(originally appeared as a LiveJournal entry on 9/28/2004)

What if Cinderella was actually an Obsessive Compulsive? For instance...

Her mother left them at an early age, not able to cope with the mental disorder that her husband and eventually daughter suffered from. Because of his disorder Cinderella's father grew quite wealthy - always being at the top of his game and always a step ahead of the rest. His next wife was attracted to him for his money and for what it could buy for her two daughters, and was also glad that they would have another sister to grow up with. Not much is known of what happened next, but under the stress of having again a wife and now two more daughters to raise, Cinderella's father disappeared - either he died or was put quietly away by his new wife to spare him and their family the disgrace.

Cinderella, not capable of dealing with the loss of her father threw herself into what she knew best - doing chores. She modeled her life after her father's but without any aim to it she went spinning wildly out of control. After many years she had to come do so many chores so often that her step sisters and step mother gave up trying to do anything themselves. This did not change their love or concern for Cinderella, but they were powerless to control her disorder. It had progressed to the point that Cinderella was not only talking to but holding conversations with the animals in the house while doing her chores.

Despite all of her work, Cinderella kept abreast of the happenings in the kingdom and was the first to notice when the Prince announced he would be holding a royal ball, to which every eligible maiden in the kingdom must attend. Cinderella, power hungry like her father, immediately sought to meet and woo the prince on this occasion. Her step mother, ever caring but concerned with the welfare of her family, knew that the prince upon meeting the deranged girl would order her locked away and her two daughters and herself would bear the shame of it all. She decided that if asked about her other daughter she would claim that she was now an indentured servant in a far away kingdom - because the best lies are those based on the truth, and her step-daughter had long ago "left" her mind. So, in a desperate attempt to keep Cinderella from the ball the three of them invented outrageous chores for the poor girl to perform. So many that they hoped she would not even realize that she had missed the ball. They failed to realize however than an obsessive compulsive cannot manage their disease if they are not organized and Cinderella had prepared for the ball months in advance without their knowledge. When the night came, the mother and sisters left well in advance so as not to make the girl suspicious, and Cinderella - ever punctual - left at exactly the right time so as to enter the palace at the same exact moment as the prince.

Now comes the one truly happy part of our tale. Cinderella, so concerned with making a good impression, had changed almost her entire appearance - wore only the grandest outfit made from the finest materials, and for one night was able to hide her disorder so well that the prince did in fact take a liking to her. However, she had set her internal schedule so that she MUST be home by midnight in order to complete the next day's chores and so was torn between leaving and insulting the prince when the clock chimed midnight. Eventually, her disorder won out and she ran maniacally from the ball room, losing one of her glass slippers in the process.

She was home well in advance of the rest of her family so that it appeared to them by the time they returned (the commotion had made the ball run much longer) that she had done just as they had expected - stayed at home and finished the chores. The next day however Cinderella became visibly obsessed with finding her lost glass slipper and tore the house apart. Her step mother and step sisters immediately realized what had happened and when the prince eventually made his way to their house looking for the maiden who had lost her slipper the step mother locked Cinderella in the attic while the girl was looking through the boxes kept there.

Now comes the mind twisting part of the story. The three women had lived with the delusional girl for so long that they themselves became obsessed with hiding her disorder from the public. They knew that once Cinderella realized what was going on that she would find her way to the prince and their cover would be blown. So the mother and daughters did everything in their power to make the prince stop his search right here and now. The daughters knew they were not pretty, not nearly as pretty as Cinderella had looked the night of the ball, but insanely hoped that if they could make their feet fit into the glass slipper they could pretend they we're Cinderella and save their family from total disgrace. As this took place, Cinderella - in one of the more intuitive moments of her disorder - had hidden a spare key under the floor boards of every door in the house with a lock, so that when she finished her search in the attic (and cleaned up of course) and found the door locked, she fluidly retrieved the key from under the floorboard and hurried downstairs to continue her search.

What total irony occurred then when Cinderella came downstairs and fit the missing slipper that the prince held out. The prince was no fool and had quickly realized that the girls had mutilated their feet in order to get it to fit the slipper and declared everyone in the household to be locked away for madness with the exception of Cinderella who he took as his bride.

And what of their marriage and Cinderella's disorder? Well, it turns out that most of royalty are mad anyway and the prince himself was also an obsessive compulsive, and so they lived happily ever after.

Now watch Disney's Cinderella again and tell me I'm not right...

-By Jim Albert, 2004

Note: I originally had Cinderella's mother die due to stress, but I figured I'd have her leave them instead. It's more realistic and I figured that there should be at least one sane person in this story.

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