Greg oink oink holiday time
by:7k
Greg was a useless piece of shit and no one liked. He often wondered why he was still alive when everyone and there mother wanted him to die.
Today was like any other day. He got out of bed he brushed his teeht soked some weed, ate some tyempuri , watched all the anime in the world (figuratively, theres not enough time in the universe to absorb all the meaningless garbage) and watched some Zalgaloo videos . But in his daily rutine he picked up a magizine . Every Wallis in the district already bought one as allway. That's the Wallis people do in this post apocaliptic society. We need the wallises to steal our magizines other wise how else are we supposed escape the materialistic overlords that bought up the industry. Luckilly for greg he knew Wallis #137 who was a dark Wallis who sold Magizines he steals. So then he bought a magizine from him and went home.
He bought beach bodyt monthly, the premnier work out magizine for summer time fun. He hated the magizine for how it made him feel insecure about his own blubber sack of shit that is his bodyt (bob [the writer of this story] spells bodyt with a t in the future by the way) but wat the hell atleast it's a good fap, he thought to himself (bob doesn't us quotations either deal with it). As he flipped through the pages looking for some nice anime-sexual-like boobs to make a good fap to he found a panflet for a competition. It was a who can build the best milk shake contest! He decided typing up a good informational paper to give to his dad so he could build him a nice milkshake. His Dad built him the best milkshake in the galaxy so they one the competition and both got tickets to beach place (home of the worlds best beach) . Dad told Greg only to bring eww not not esential stuff, so by that I mean only essentials okay son. Greg said fuck you dad and brought his body pillow vape pin and his copy Macontosh plus with him.
So them went to Beach and got a beach towel and put it and on the sand (bob hates himself and wants to die) He the begins to lay down on his anime towel and starts to vape as he normally does. He had a very relaxing time laying towards the ocean drinking a nicely built milkshake and smoleing a nice thc vape. All was well all was perfect but then something bad happened . Nuclear winter. So many nukes happened in the past but no one thought that the winter would ever come. The watter froze the weomen dies and dad pciked up Greg and brought him to the heat store where it is always hot evern when at the bneach.
This is not the worst part though as they were there they met bob who was really wett from the swet tgif he said as he aproached them. Oh no thought greg this gut is smothering me to death. He is even more fat and more ugly than I am. He is making the room to hot with his intense body heat. HE told dad that if he was still there the heat would make them all melt just like freezey the ice man. Dad agreed. So he told dad to distract bob. As dad distracted bob Greg snuck to the back of the store and atached one of the heating devices to his vape pin. Hey bob, said Greg, do you want a hit of some vape. Sure said bob. The super hot water vapor burned his lungs then he did die so painfully. As time went on dad and greg and dead bob had to live together in the heat store to avoid being frozen. With the bounbty that was bobs giant corpes they were able then , so able to live with out cable, and able to eat sleep drin k and live, oh so hapilly. (also bob is dead so the story can't be written any further.)
the brother murder
by:Rain
my prompt: write as anyone some character is on vay-cay w/ fam to island. something weird about island.
It was a sunday when we arrived courtesy of virigin airlines. The airport was incredibly shitty; mostly due to the staff. All of them were seemingly drained of , I suppose, their humanity. My mother was her typical self, sunshiney. The way she treated the staff, as though they didn't seem like automatons programmed by a being that only had a vague idea baout what a human was, and how they acted, creeped me the fuck out. She always did. It was as thoug her emotions had all been erased aside from ahppiness. My brother lit a cigarette even though there was a no smoking sign. I hate Greg. He's too.Edgy. My dad resembled the staff, though that is to be expected. He wroks 14 hour days, and gets yelled at by my mother constantly. He provides everything for us, and gets nothing in return, soclding aside. Upon our arrival to them there hotel. We were greated by what appeared to be a gnome. He wouldn't've been taller tahn around about 2 feet tall. He resembled santa clause, if santa wore a jean cjaket and cowboy boots. Garden gnomes always perplexed me; why spend money on tiny santas in different outfits? THe weorld is truly fucked up, specially round these parts. My mother requested my dad acrry all of our luggage, despite his 5 pbroken hands. Why did she marry her? Everyone i've ever met has nhad nothing but horrible things to say about my mother. She isn't talented, or beautiful, or nice. SHe's likely a troll from the Targo Mountains, adopted by our humble five handed species. Greg killed the gnome. Ceramic ornaments , he had always hated. There was a man in my room. He opened his mouth and flew out my window. It was closed. How did he fly with his tounge. And teeth? That was sunday. Today is Saturday.
I bought this journal because of a happening that occoured lastnight. Greg was murdered. I like turkey sandwhiches. I wanted his. He left it to me in his will.
I loved gredg.
He was my favourite brother.
I will find the murdered. Poor child. The kille r took his body. Blood trail from the room indicates the general store across the steet.
I interogated the owner of tyhe store. He spoke only rin rhymes, he claimed he was never taught prose. I know not what information I could've garnered. His english was archaic as fuck. My name is Jacob.
The sandwich was good. Today is also Sunday. We've been here for a week. I've stayed with my family in thei hrll whole for a bloody week. Al. My dad. Has yet to stop crying from the murder of my brother Greg. My mother couldn't've been happier at the news. I think she did the murder.
Blood.
Monday.
I me t a beautiful himan girl. Not human. Himan. It was only in my dreams, however. Her touch gave me life, and she told me how tof idn the brother greg. I climbed to the top of hte mountain a few short moments ago (oh yeah the island has a mountain) i am currently staring into the volcano (oh yeah the mountain is also a volcano) i see the greg bones on the ridd i mean lesdge inside. i will burry me anbd his bones in flame