Until I Met Chris
Kimberly D. Priesing
ENGL 1100.46

I don’t remember learning how to read. Since the beginning of my memory, my sisters and I could read. I always preferred to be read to or to read out loud, but nonetheless, I could read. It seemed like "something of the past" to grow up without knowing how to read. Sure, my paternal grandfather never graduated from high school, but he knows how to read. He doesn’t read novels or anything now, but he does read the newspaper. He reads just enough to know what’s going on in the world around him. I can’t imagine not being informed about the news because literacy has always been a constant in my life. I can’t imagine driving on the interstate and not being able to read the signs or having to ask for help to read a menu in a restaurant. Even though my dad had a limited education as well, he knew how to read by the time he was five and could write better than he spoke. He eventually went back to school for a degree and learned how to write better than he imagined possible. My dad now has had articles published in magazines and newsletters across the country. He writes about work he has done while inspecting and repairing homes and what he’s learned from each experience. He shares his experiences with others through words on a page. A man of such little education has been able to reach people nationally. After all that my father has accomplished, I could not believe that people didn’t at least know the correct form of a verb when completing a sentence. That is, until I met Chris.

Growing up in the Deep South, I had always heard words like "ain’t" and people using "they was" in a sentence. I even joked around and used them with a thick accent from time to time. I always assumed that everyone else knew the right way to say things, but, like me, chose not to. One night I went into work waiting tables at Outback Steakhouse, just like usual, I waited on several tables before I waited on one I would never forget. It was a table of three guys who looked to be about my age. I knew the haircuts well — Marines. I’ve been around Marines my whole life. My dad was a Marine, and I went to a school right by a military base, so I am used to being around various people from different backgrounds. I didn’t really think anything of it, except that I actually remember hoping they weren’t jerks like most Marines turn out to be. I wasn’t surprised when two of the three guys had thick country accents. Most of the people in the area spoke with a Southern accent. They were very polite, of course, but their grammar was awful. Waiting on that table reminded me that my intended English Education major was just the thing for me. Anyways, by the end of the meal, I had made plans to meet up with the guys at a party later that week.

I’m now dating one of those country guys, Chris. We’ve been dating for almost eight months, and I’ve never been so happy with anyone, but we are so different! We like to drive around and talk about random stuff. One time, a few months into our relationship, Chris was telling me a story about something that happened earlier in the week and said "they was." I corrected him without thinking because that’s what my parents always did to me. He looked over at me, and I immediately felt bad. Guys hate being corrected! I know, like all boys, he doesn’t like when I make him feel stupid. Instead of getting mad, he just said, "Ok. They were," and finished his story. I was shocked that he didn’t get offended, or if he did, he didn’t show it. I took the opportunity to ask him why he didn’t say it the right way the first time. It wasn’t the first time I heard him say something like that. He told me he didn’t know the "right way."

What did he mean he didn’t know the right way? I couldn’t believe it! I asked him if he even knew why it was wrong, and he told me he had no idea. In his school, it was never an issue. Everyone spoke like that, and everyone wrote like that. I couldn’t believe he could get through thirteen years of school without knowing which verb to use with which subject. In my high school, that was unheard of! Chris and I ended up having a mini grammar lesson in the car. Chris still says "they was," but at least now he knows it’s not the "correct way."

Chris gets mad when I use big words. "Mad" isn’t a good word to use. It’s more like he’s irritated, especially if he doesn’t know what the word means. I think that I learned those words from reading and from using a thesaurus when I write papers for school. I remember when I was in third grade, I was assigned to do "encyclopedia quizzes." For a little extra credit, I would look up answers to questions in encyclopedias. The teacher made them up so that we would learn how to use encyclopedias and learn a little about random subjects on the side. I’m not sure she realized that the extra reading improved my vocabulary as well.

I’ve noticed that it bothers Chris that his vocabulary is limited. When I describe things to him, it comes easily to me. He has trouble putting his thoughts into words. He tries to tell me things that he really enjoys or how awesome something was, but it sounds like any other story because he doesn’t know special words that he can use to describe special emotions or experiences. When we get into arguments, he has trouble explaining why he’s mad and why he feels a certain way because I can come up with reasons that he’s wrong quicker than he can find words to form an argument. It works in my favor, but at the same time, I feel bad. If he had gotten my education and was on my level as far as vocabulary and reading, the argument would be more of an even-handed fight. The worst part is, compared to other people my age, my vocabulary isn’t too extensive. I just keep in mind that "all is fair in love and war!"

I also learned that spelling was never a big deal in Chris’s life. My parents always made me and my siblings look up a word if we couldn’t spell it. It frustrated me as a kid because I was lazy and just wanted the answer right then and there. I’m so thankful now because I can spell without having to use a dictionary. Chris can’t. When he has to write papers for work, he has someone else write while he talks. All of the country boys have to have some sort of translator or recorder. I noticed that spelling was an issue when we began to text message each other. He would spell things incorrectly, and when I noticed, I would put that word in the back of my mind. Later, I would make it a point to use the word in one of my messages so that he would see the correct spelling without feeling like he was being corrected. Over time, I’ve noticed that his spelling has improved. Now I’m working on getting him to go back to school when he gets out of the Marine Corps next year.

Chris was one of those kids who went to school because he had to and never felt like he was smart enough to go on to college. He didn’t want to work in a factory or settle down and have kids right out of high school like the other kids in the area. When he graduated from high school, he wanted to "do something different with his life," so he enlisted. I was one of those kids who knew from the beginning that I was going to college. To me, that was the only option. I hope that he starts to feel like he can make it in college. I think it’s horrible that just because someone didn’t have a high quality education when they were growing up that they can’t continue to get an education even if they want to.

Chris is so smart, but doesn’t know it. He just can’t write very well. I told him a quote from Grace Paley that I heard in English class this semester: "If you say what's on your mind in the language that comes to you from your parents and your street and friends, you'll probably say something beautiful." I just wish he would try! After seeing all the things that my dad has accomplished in his life, I’m sure Chris can do even greater things! When I told him about my dad, he told me that writing essays just to get into college "stopped him in his tracks." It makes me remember how many people told me their parents wrote their application essays for college and scholarships. I know he can do it, without help from his mom or dad.

Chris has untapped potential, and it makes me wonder how many other people are out there with the same potential. I thought about this one day when I was looking around online about my future career as a teacher and found a quote from Ghanaian diplomat and President of the United Nations Kofi Annan:

Literacy is a bridge from misery to hope. It is a tool for daily life in modern society. It is a bulwark against poverty, and a building block for development… Literacy is a platform for democratization, and a vehicle for the promotion of cultural and national identity… It is an agent of family health and nutrition. For everyone, everywhere, literacy is, along with education in general, a basic human right… Literacy is, finally, the road to human progress and the means through which every man, woman, and child can realize his or her full potential.

This quote reinforced my desire to become a teacher, and to help people like Chris realize that they can do whatever they want to do in life. I think it’s so important to teach them this lesson before they are put out into the world to start their lives as adults.

I am positive now that being a high school English teacher is what I want to do. My experiences with Chris have assured me that I can teach. I’ve had doubts about being able to get through to people who don’t want to learn or to people who have trouble understanding concepts. I know now that if I can teach Chris, I can teach anyone. He’s shown me that being right, and making sure everyone knows it, isn’t what’s important. Teaching people in a way that makes it fun is a great way to teach. I’ve learned, though, that teaching people sometimes means doing it without them realizing what you’re doing. The reason why some people don’t like to learn isn’t because they have a lot of trouble grasping a concept. It could be because they are embarrassed that they didn’t get it on the first try and are too frustrated to learn. At the risk of sounding like an awful person, I must say that Chris’s lack of literacy has helped me in a lot of ways. I hope that one day he will realize how much he has helped me and I hope that he will be able to help someone in his situation. I hope that he practices writing and starts to read more because, as Charles W. Eliot has said, "Books are the quietest and most constant friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers." I think I’ll buy Chris a book for Christmas.