...First Aid 4 The Soul...

funny quotes

"Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?"


"Why is the word 'abbreviation' so long?"


"Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?"


"Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?"


"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."


"Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its students."


"Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?"


"Every day above ground is a good day."


"Schizophrenia beats being alone."


"Whose cruel idea was it to put the 's' in the word 'lisp'?"


"What the heck is a near miss? If you nearly miss something, don't you hit it?"


"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."


"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence."


"When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water."