“Hey, you sure you wanna do this, Rae?”

“Yes Nina, I’m sure. I need a new atmosphere and wanna get on with my life once and for all,” Rae answered sadly. Yeah right! Tell yourself that you’re okay. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” She smiled at her best friend.

“I’m going to miss you, you know.” Nina started getting teary-eyed.

“Oh no! Don’t you start getting emotional on me right now! I’ve been in this bad weepy state already, so you better stop crying.” She then gave Nina a hug. Trying to change the mood. “You look horrible when you cry!”

“You’re crazy, you know that! You have very nice timing to spoil a touching moment,” Nina teasingly retorted as she wiped her tears away.

“Sorry. But seriously, I’m going to miss you too. Nobody else will be as crazy as you are to knock me back to my senses.”

“Well, if you need my in-demand consultations, I’m just a phone call away, dear. Unless you’re rich enough and have me fly with you to New Zealand.” Nina was worried about Marae leaving and staying all alone in a new country, especially right now. She knew all to well that what happened to her friend was very painful. But she had faith in her that she’ll be fine, she’ll overcome it all.

“Oh stop that, Nina! We better continue packing now.”

“So, who’s driving you to the airport tomorrow morning?”

“Kuya John will be driving me to the airport.” John was Marae’s older brother.

After packing her things, Marae spent the whole day with Nina and her family. She needed to be surrounded by the people she loved. These are the people who helped her get through the toughest time of her life.

That evening, upon arriving home, Marae went to her room, which had always been her comfort zone. She sat on her bed quietly and curled to a fetal position, her knees tucked up to her chin. She slowly closed her eyes and a few seconds’ later, tears started flowing down her cheeks. Marae, you can do this! You don’t have to be afraid of this. You need to be strong now and forget about him. She thought to herself. She got up from her bed and placed a tape inside the cassette player…

“It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you who made the tears fall down.
It was you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you, it was you who made my blue eyes blue.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.”

All the concealed emotions she had kept bottled up were finally released. She cried until she drifted off to sleep.

“I thought that I'd be all you need.
In your eyes I thought I saw my heaven.
And now my heaven's gone away
And I'm out in the cold.
'Cause you had me believing,
You had me believing in a lie.
Guess I couldn't see it,
I guess I couldn't see it till I saw goodbye”

Marae got up early the next day to wander around her house for what could be her last time. Good thing everyone is still asleep. She’s going to miss this place. Marae ended up in their garden. It was her favorite place in the house. She always came here to think and calm herself. Marae positioned herself near the small pond and closed her eyes, feeling the stillness of the place. She didn’t notice that her mom was already awake and coming towards her.

“Good morning, dear.”

Marae opened her eyes and looked up to her mom. “’Morning, Mom.” Her Mom sat beside her.

“Why are you up so early?”

“I couldn’t sleep. And I just want to enjoy the time I have here now.”

“Listen dear. I know you still have doubts about leaving but I believe that going there may do you some good. Who knows? Something better might be out there, waiting for you.”

Marae just stared at her mom for a moment. And somehow she understood what she was trying to tell her. She smiled at her mom and gave her a hug. “Thank you, Mom!”

Marae finally got all of her baggage down the house. Her older brother was carrying it to their van.

“Hey, this bag weighs a ton! What do you have in here, little sis?”

“Just some stuff I need for work there.”

“Seems to me you’re bringing all of your possessions in here.”

“Oh, quit complaining, you big lug!”

“That’s easy for you to say.” John loaded the last suitcase into the van.

“Well, it’s time for me to go. I’ll call you once I arrive in New Zealand.”

“You take care of yourself, okay? And don’t forget to call.”

“I will Mom. Bye.” She gave her a hug and headed off to the van.

She finally arrived in the Ninoy Aquino International Airport. She gave her big brother a big hug.

“Take care of Mom, okay? And you better behave,” giving her brother a sarcastic look.

“I will, don’t you worry. Take care little sis! Bye!”

Marae walked towards the entrance door.

“Hey! Don’t forget my truckload of sheep when you get back!” shouted her brother. Marae just smiled back and said, “I will!”

Marae was now seated comfortably in her seat by the window. It was just 15 minutes into her flight to New Zealand. As she gazed out the tiny window on her right, a feeling of sadness came over her. Certain thoughts came through her mind…

At first, she wasn’t really planning on accepting the job in New Zealand because she was always afraid of any slightest change, but then, she needed to … she needed to forget someone. With the persuasion and blessings of her family and friends, she is finally going to New Zealand. A place that, hopefully, will help her find herself again … to start a new chapter in her life.