If my thoughts are but equal to those that I seek to consider equals, I will attain greatness unlooked for.  For greatness encompasses those of exceptional attributes, whether they seek it or not.  Maybe greatness is the wrong word.  Greatness is often perceived in that I would be causing great good, but my actions take no claim to either side of this often unseen, yet often described war.  I think I want to be noticed for my talents.  I want all those that gaze upon my visage of crude material life and see the mechanics of my mind.  Stare in awe at its vast workings.  But this contradicts my other statement.  How am I to attain greatness unlooked for If I wish to be noticed?  Maybe cause I look for greatness, to be noticed, I can never achieve it.
    My fault may be that I expect I should not have to work to achieve this stature.  I must see myself upon a pedestal and therefore am greater than most, if not all.  Such thoughts I know are foolish and are nothing but illusions of grandeur.  But my psyche can not be bound by my voice of reason.  Its weak bonds frail against my over whelming personality.
    Why should it matter so if I achieve so much in my life.  I don't want money or fortune.  I think I want to be the best.  If I am not, I am nothing.  Or is the game I wish to play.
    When I play any game, I take it very serious.  I follow every  rule to the t and I play to win.  Not that I freak if I lose, it is more that the game is meant to be played in such a manner.  Only when the players are all trying to win, does the game have any meaning.  People who say, "I wasn't playing to win, or I wasn't taking the game seriously,"  disturb me.  These comments make me think, did I really win? Was I competing against a true opponent?  These comments insult me.
    Another one of my problems, are those who cheat.  Rules are meant to guide you, to show you the way.  They create proper competition.  If you're breaking the rules, you're not really playing the game are you?  Rule breakers often receive hard words from mine tongue.
    So this is me in all games.  So I must take these concepts in life, the greatest game of them all.  These concepts create balance.  There is something honorable and truthful about this blunt version of competition.  That is what life is, competition.  Competition creates a struggle.  A struggle against time. A struggle against morality.  A struggle against the bonds of society.  A struggle against those who suffer as I do.  Struggle against life.
    Is it this struggle that I love?  Or is it the idea that I will overcome the struggle and in overcoming it, achieving greatness?