Ramjets Vs Ned Flanders XI
October 26th 2008
State Shield
REPORTS
PAGE
By Dallan Pitman
9:00 am i�m awoken by an unknown number. There were no pleasantries, no introductions; simply : �you got the game ball?�. Our narrator, orator and fearless leader, Captain Gaz, had rang to tell me I had to pick up a game ball for the day. Right. I boot my girlfriend outta bed and tell her the breakfast I promised to take her to would be put off til next Saturday. She is not amused. I tell her its for the greater good and the good of the rangers. We argue and come to the compromise of going to breakfast. So I take Kate to breakfast (some compromise), enjoying service from a silver platter similar to what I imaging OP has Stephanie serve him his breakfast on, before I drag her to Amart to pick up the shiny red. However, some genius who works there decided to plaster the price tag smack bang over the �Red King� side of the ball. I peel off a few carefully to assess the damage and im not impressed with what I see. $30 for a ball missing its covering and the famous �Red King� that strikes fear among so many players. I take the ball to the counter after seeing the pretty girls serving, and ask for assistance. The only ball they DON'T put the sticker on is a kookaburra PVC ball� now, I don't know who works at that particular amart all sports, but someone needs to be fired, or given a stern talking to. The one ball that it WONT matter if a sticker is on its surface, is the one ball without the sticker on its surface. Not good enough for the pending demolition of Flanders.
Back in the car. Rebel sport will have one�surely�. I go in through the front door basking in the air conditioning and make a beeline for the cricket section� while having a quick scope of the bats on offer for no particular reason considering I now have two bats� I find the red king section and am relieved to see someone at rebels has a brain. There is no sticker on the ball. Only on the packet. I pick it up and hold it to the light, music starts playing from the heavens and images of broken stumps flash past my eyes. Im basking in my glory and success, imaging the damage soon to be done. 142 grams. Not amused. I throw the ball in anger and search through the rest of the balls and there is not one Red King of 156g weight. I go to ask at the counter, only this time a burly fella with tattoos on his neck, muscles like Dale �Biceps� Stevenson, a chest like Gihan, and a devilish look in his eyes similar to Clintoff�s awaiting my impending question�. No worries, ill just find myself another ball. I don't need to hassle this nice man. I decide on a ball and leave. I do not meet the man�s eyes as he serves me, instead finding interest in a body massager on display at the counter.
I get home, its 11:00 � the team are already meant to be assembled. I skip the toilet which I yearned for since I woke up, put on my whites and raced off to Yeronga. Not one Ramjet is visible. And in my anger I had a moment of awakening: I forgot to pick up Peters kit bag which held the stumps and other items essential for the day�s cricket. Back in my fuel hungry car to Pete�s house. I knock and one very grumpy individual who I hope to never meet again peers out through sleepy eyes at me. �Im here to get Peters Cricket Bag��. His reply: �what does it look like?�� This may be the guy working at Amart all sports.
Finally Pete�s bag is found�. In the living room where he was�.no idea how he didn't make the connection right up� however, this is Pete�s personal bag, not the kit bag as I discovered when I arrived back at Yeronga. No stumps, no markers�. Already we are missing vital elements for a game of cricket. However, the absence of stumps and markers were incomparable to the absence of a full team. At 12:25, with 7 players and only one set of stumps, Gary lost his third straight toss to be sent in to bowl. Way to go Gaz.
The field was scarce of fielders. With only 7 players for the first hour, with the notable absence of Clintoff, Jaime, Joshy and Peter, the opening bowlers, Biceps and Gaz, did some damage dismissing 3 batsmen in 5 overs. The left hand right hand combination Flanders had going did little to deter the bowling attack. After Gaz and Biceps did their part, Cody stepped to the plate with Aaron to take on the first change bowler duties. Unfortunately, the new batsmen seemed to find their swing and from here on the lightning quick outfield did its part. Any ball that made it past a fielder was not stopping till it either went into the bush that so many Ramjets will vote to have cut down or the fence separating the field form the train tracks. Some top fielding efforts from Amilla on the boundary demonstrated to the rest of the boys what was required to stop the flow of runs. Unfortunately, with so little fielders, the gaps were too wide and the Flander�s batsmen were hitting all of them.
Then the pride of the Rangers arrives. Clintoff had finished at his prior arrangements and had come to fish us out of our troubles with the Flanders. And that he did. Having carefully analysed the opening batsmen who had crafted his way through our bowlers for a respectable 81, clintoff had him in his second over. An easy catch. Quote of the Day: �I figured him out you see�.� Clinton Davies.
Following Clinton�s success, we hoped that another surprising change in the bowling would snare a much needed wicket. Chris Bailey: the choice of the Captain to snare that wicket. Unfortunately, Mr Bailey was silenced despite a �second wind� with an unforgiving 0/43�off two overs. This is a possible Ranger record that is hard earned and not given out to just any one. Awaiting official confirmation. The great thing about those glorious stats is this: those two overs were the first (and probably last) for young Chris. Thus, his best bowling figures on the stats sheet reads something along the lines of 0/43 off 2. What stats to finish a season with. Well done mate, top effort. Seriously but, good on Chris, Cody and all the other bowlers given a chance this week that bowled top spells that weren�t rewarded. They bowled tight lines to a left and right hand combination. On the day however the Flander�s batsmen had it in them and our bowlers simply couldn�t force their way through. That shouldn't and didn't deter the bowlers and for that boys congratulations and well done.
With Flanders batting out their 35 overs and hitting a very respectable 311, we trundled from the field. A top effort from the boys in the field not letting the flow of runs dampen their spirits. Morale was high and motivation was oozing out the boys. Unfortunately we just weren�t able to get that lucky break and keep Ned Flanders to a lesser total.
10 minutes later, Aaron and Dallan took to the field fresh from their sleepover together during which they played many bonding games such as pillow fights, eating jelly and sleeping in a spooning position until the morning. With little consideration to the whopping 8.9 runs an over required for 35 overs to achieve victory ,what we wanted to take away from this game was some valuable time in the middle, valuing our wicket, and learning what it takes to dig deep and bat the overs.
Some lucky edges later form a certain Mr Pitman, and some nice shots through the field from Aaron, the 0/50 partnership was up and the opening bowlers were off. First ball form the new bowler was well wide and Dallan and Aaron thought they were going on to hit their centuries today and achieve the 0/200 partnership they dreamt of together during their sleepover together the night before. Unfortunately, Aaron drove a well timed shot right to the fielder and was dismissed for 21. Gary strode out nodding along and seemingly listening to my bleatings for him to take his time, the runs would come, lets have some time in the middle. Facing his first ball that wasn't a wide (just), we swung his axe faster than an axe should be swung and missed the leg side ball which reflected off his pad and took out his stumps. For me, this was bitter sweet as, while I was sad to see Gary be dismissed for 0, it meant that no longer would I be the brunt of ALL the duck jokes in the ramjets side. Michael came out and had a field day with the bowling attack. Hitting over the field, Michael was unphased as short ball and full lengthed balls were put to all ends of the park. Next to go was Dallan Pitman: caught behind from his 100th attempt at cutting a short ball which passed right by his nipples. Too close to cut. To short to let go. The darker side of me took over and I paid the price. Caught behind for 35. Chris followed behind me and took to the bowlers with his array of delicate positions from which to play the perfectly time cut shot. At drinks we were just shy of one hundred runs and our batters had spent some valuable time in the middle. After drinks, Mikey was caught off guard, and was bowled after his display of fireworks for 21. Cody�s turn to bat could not have been more hilarious (sorry mate but you had it coming!). Boasting of how neither of the 2 ramjet ducks this season had been to his name, he strode out to the pitch before striding right on back after trying to send his first ball, almost a Yorker, to the moon. He claims it wasn't the duck or being clean bowled that hurt the most; it was our shrills of laughter as he walked back to join us. Karma had her revenge. Amilla, off the back of his success in the field, came to the pitch and provided excellent support for Chris as he cruised through the bowlers and the runs, coming up to 40. Amilla was dismissed for 17 and Clintoff, the last batter of the day strode out with his $600 blade and played his infamous inside out strokes over the field before unluckily not quite hitting the ball out of the middle and being caught on the boundary for 17 and ending our time at the crease in the 35th over.
Chris was left standing with 43 not out. For those who remember from the earlier pages of this novel, Chris had been hit for 43 runs. For this reason, he was not awarded any post game votes form the team as in our eyes, he only broke even and therefore contributed nothing! How coincidental. �I�m square now boys � no hard feelings�. On a serious note but, well done Chris, on your way to notching up the second ramjet half century for the season. It was a well played knock and you deserved the fifty. Some nice shots were played and you had us boys singing your praises on the sideline. Even Clintoff stopped his sledging for a moment to observe your strokeplay.
So bowled out in the 35th over for 186 runs, striking at 5.3 an over, despite losing the match, the Ramjets had a great day of cricket taking up the challenge with so few players and putting in their best efforts. Whilst we didn't win, we came together as a team to show the Flanders they wouldn't just walk all over us and we would put up a fight. For a while there im sure they were thinking that while they were 2 � 8 in he 4th over. Bring on Flanders in the two dayers when we have a full strength side and ill put my money and the Jets any day.
Again congratulations to all the Jets for a top effort in field and ball. It was excellent that everyone played their part in the side and stepped up to the challenge that faced us.