Rangers Vs Wynnum Manly
October 24th 2008
State Shield
REPORTS
PAGE
King Wally Otto (in the Soundproof Booth):
Hello World, PANTS OFF AUSTRALIA, the whips are cracking, the surf�s up, the doctor is in. It�s just another afternoon where too much sport is barely enough, and here�s the team that can open the batting and take the new ball up the hill into the wind, who can turn defence into attack in the twinkling of an eye, who�ve enjoyed the highs and learnt from the lows, who are all the better for recent racing and in the wash up at the end of the day win a lot more than they lose, the team of HG Nelson and rampaging Roy Slaven and the dominant backline of This Sporting Life, HG?
HG Nelson:
Yes thanks very much King Wally Otto in the soundproof booth and to Zan for the last fourteen hours of blistering super sounds on the station that strangles the nation TripleJ. Yes welcome ladies and gentlemen boys and girls shareholders and schoolies on another Sunday afternoon where too much sporting is barely enough.
And what a week what an incredible week, SHAREHOLDERS, is it time to contemplate finally stepping off the ledge as the downwards spiral continues since that wonderful day in New York where our very own Neighbours starlet Deltra Goodrem dropped the hammer in New York to open the stock exchange and the market dropped four hundred in less than an hour as nearly as I can tell.
Yes good afternoon and welcome to this INDY SPECIAL edition of This Sporting Life and as always housekeeping gets us underway at the card table of knowledge, sadly not much in the hand at the moment, no StinkFist news nothing on Captain Feathers and nothing on the Yaminah Bunnies.
However we do have news that the DNF Specialist Mark Webber has finished 12th in the Singapore Grand Prix, that�s right 12th! the last of the cars to finish on the same lap as the leaders and doesn�t he find new ways to shower himself in glory once he�s shaken the DNF monkey off his back. Sure he wasn�t within cooee of the leaders but he�s wiley in avoiding all that tricky traffic and other cars which would have made the elusive DNF all that much easier to find.
And as always we remember the forgotten man of Australian golf Mark Hensby who has rocketed up the rankings this week, moving from 276 to 275th � but not forgotten by any means here�
Finally the era of SIDDLE continues in Mohali as the spark and glamour of the Siddle Watson and White tilt result in a near record defeat to possibly the oldest cricket side the world has ever seen. Reverse swing merchant Zaheer Khan was also fined 80% of his match fee for gobbing off at the horribly out of form Queensland opener, the man they call Hay-dose in the first innings. Makes you wonder why Zaheer bothered showing up really. But in the moment of panic and calls for �Bring Back Roy� which I can only assume is a common sense approach to recruit my colleague in crime Rampaging Roy Slaven, the game�s greatest thinker Shane Warne and the voice of reason has called for common sense saying �Don�t Panic.� Wise words indeed Warney.
And with those few thought starters plucked from the week that was its time to turn to my colleague in crime rampaging Roy Slaven and ask � is there anything you want to throw on the bonfire, Roy?
Rampaging Roy Slaven:
Yes thanks very much HG and is there any sign of some trainers for the wobbly wheels that are plaguing Australian cricket at the moment? Ponting�s Powderers look dull, disorganised and utterly bereft of ideas or form. When I was playing in the Rangers Cricket Club for many, many years we always had the philosophy that innovation and good nicknames were the key to success! Just this morning I headed down to the rangers and saw one of the most unusual and innovative warm-ups I�ve ever seen. It basically involved having all of the players standing in a circle, and nearly as I can tell a million balls thrown around the circle to each player, before the first ball thrown returned to the man throwing the first ball. It certainly seemed to fire up the boys and if it�s that popular in the world�s most innovative cricket club hopefully its only a matter of time before its adopted by Nielsen�s Nevilles and Punter�s Powderers!
HG Nelson:
I see what you mean Roy, I managed to catch up with Shandy Harris who as we all know isn�t afraid to turn to the log and the bucket of balls in a more carrot, less stick approach to training and he certainly isn�t afraid of looking to the works of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance in search of an edge and he told me that this exercise has been run with much success in all kinds of environments and to get ten balls in the air with only nine players its one of the finest spectacles he�s ever seen in a warm up. I mean to see ten grown men bobbing like the Wiggles and celebrate with high-fives, whooping and laughter after completing a drill tells me that they�re all ready to step straight in to the Australian side. Sure, the opposition were wondering what drugs they were on and if they could get some for themselves but that�s the price of progress as nearly as I can see.
Rampaging Roy Slaven:
And they certainly did dominate HG even it would seem with only 17 working legs between ten men. Cameron �Skippy� Orth is certainly a man to replace Shane Watson in the current line-up, not only did he score a very fine 76 off only 59 balls on one leg but he managed to play on through injury something Watson has never managed to do. He did manage a number of sixes but not near the record last week set by Chad Hart of eight.
HG Nelson:
And it looks like we have found an answer to the retirement of Gilly with the wicketkeeper putting a fine display with the gloves as well as 35 runs to pull them out of a tight spot. I mean to put on 94 when both batsmen were playing with one leg each is a pretty mean feat, neither were able to walk let alone run between wickets but they still managed to get the team to 205 interrupted by heavy rain.
Rampaging Roy Slaven:
It certainly was some of the heaviest rain I�ve ever seen, in fact they had to squeegee the pitch just to get play back underway at one point. And isn�t it marvellous to see young Billy �CU� Slater run in opening the bowling and still have time to duck off after the game, have a few beers for his 17th birthday and then turn out for the Aussies in RLWC08 against the pride of the boys from Aotearoa last night. Sure he kicked one poor kiwi in the head as he was about to score but for mine that�s a piece of the round ball game that�s been missing from rugby league all these years! And I tell you what HG for a FACT HG he was desperately not to get his hat trick � I�ve never seen in twenty years of watching cricket all over the world and playing with the Rangers and later the Lithgow Shamrocks to see a man not offer a shot to a hat trick ball. I mean, that man should buy a lottery ticket really. And then to see a team on three hat trick in an innings was really a special sight, I was almost pointing North at one stage. Sure there was confusion over how many overs were left after the rain in the Ranger�s innings and Gihan threw his wicket away thinking there were only two overs left and then came off the field to find out the match was back to 35 overs again but it made the game INTERESTING HG. But all of the lower order made runs and posted a very respectable total and I was thinking that perhaps they should swap the order for the next week so we can see just how RUBBISH their right-handed opening batsman is who made the first duck of the year for the team.
HG Nelson:
And wasn�t it refreshing Roy to see so much sledging from the one team against their own players. Everyone was involved and you could see that, possibly aside from the wicketkeeper, who was limbering up too I might add, everyone was getting a bowl before their leg spinner. I mean, when that Baldwin bowled the last over you could see why he has never bowled before and probably why he�ll never bowl again. Sure he got a wicket but for mine it was the worst piece of leg spin bowling since the �Mystery Spinner� Ted Johnson played for Australia back in the seventies. One spectator likened it to a cup of hot fat with a hair in it. The was no flight, and no turn either nearly as I can tell. I must say in fact it was the most rubbish spell of bowling from any man since Mick Lewis took 0-113 off ten overs a couple of years ago. Dead set as ugly as a chicken in water. And it was just lucky the batsman were laughing so hard they managed to completely mis-time his shot and get caught otherwise they�d still be chasing the ball around. But wasn�t it nice to see so many nations represented in the side with Sri Lanka�s own Gihan Ratanayke, New Zealand�s Dan Vettori, South Africa�s Gavin Bricknell and Australia�s Andy (Murray) Sweet all taking wickets. The only man not to take a wicket was former Bronco mentor and the man due to take over from the Brown Polish at Kogarah, Wayne Bennet. Although he did have a stumping chance turned down that replays showed a very nice piece of work left the batsman with his foot in the air. I mean, when three different nations all take two wickets each and make a contribution with the bat you could just about bypass the Australian side altogether and add a �World XI� to replace the hapless Zimbabwe team!
Rampaging Roy Slaven:
I think the best aspect of the match HG was the spirit of cricket that was played. Rangers outclassed Wynnum sure they scored well over 200 and bowled them out for 82 but everyone had fun! Well, everyone except those who faced the South African Express, Gavin Bricknell. But it was nice to see that two sides can play hard cricket and not have a slanging match at the end of the day was entirely unusual and I don�t think I�ve seen such camaraderie between two teams for many many years. For mine the highlight HG was the presentation of the Ranger match ball, a long held tradition, to an opposition player for an outstanding performance. Perhaps �Bhaji� and Punter could take some of the tapes from the game and play them to the boys before the next match.
HG Nelson:
Might be time for a fat�