Rangers Vs Ned Flanders XI
October 11th 2008
State Shield
REPORTS
PAGE
OP on the other hand is to be found at his study desk, combing over the many drugs and chemicals like a good UQ/Churchies Pharmarcy student should be doing. He is found sipping leasurely at fine imported english tea and nibbling at warm, tasty buttered scones. Occasionally, Butler Jeeves would knock at the study, with a ivory plated phone on a silver tray, with Stephanie Rice on the other line requesting another follow up date.
Captain Cameron Orth�s morning antics reveal the success of the man as he quietly sneaks into bed after a hard night of watching cricket on the big screen, with the headphones in.
Rhys falls in a similiar boat, but hes seen stumbling onto the cricket ground, jeans no shirt, straight from a night of partying in bars posing as Billy Slater, getting the girls and all the drinks
Chad on the other hand is found happily sleeping, wrapped warmly in his covers, like a KFC Chicken twister, quietly giggling as he dreams of the attacks hes decimated in the past and discovering ways to claim back his beloved Tonker of the Year trophy off Gary.
But what all had in common on this particular morning, was the groans and moans emitted into the morning skies as they peered out of their bedroom/bar/study/gutter windows to reveal a bleak, gray, miserable morning. Their moods falling as the cold, gentle rain before them.
Shandy, whos morning consists of finding the inner geek through the medium of painting Warhammer miniatures was busy ringing ground coordinators and captains organising games and pitch reports. Soon the call to Cameron was sent, the Neddys are keen as Bundy devouring a Family Feast, to play the ones they call the Rangers
The Rangers have found a new way to save up for Cameron�s trophy bonanza later in the season; tell the umpires theyre not required. Each $80 saved is two trophies we can afford and an extra two for Cameron�s trophy room. However the consequences of this charitable act is having Shandy, whos out with an injury, standing on that injury for 70 overs behind the stumps.
After camo called incorrectly, into the fray runs Mickey Baldwin. Into battle stumbles Doc as he calls for drinks half way to the pitch. Unfortunately for Mickey he couldnt reproduce the stroke play from last weeks game as he fell caught behind from a ball the umpire was about to call wide on.
In came Camo and out he went to a corker of a ball that cut in and kept low, bowled middle stump. OP looked comfortable until a similiar ball cut back to have the stumps pegged back, the Rangers looking as depressing as the gathering clouds overhead
In came the most annoying middle order batsman to grace a ranger batting line up �Jihad Rananooyaoka [or whatever Elliot said at the Awards Night] Gihan is a contradiction in batting terms. After hitting 25 off the last over last game, and the ability to hit a six as his mood dictates, he loves that short little glide down to 3rd man. However it was proving to be masterful as he caressed his way to an effortless 50. To show the class of the man, when he was bowled off a slower ball, he even stayed behind to hit the stumps back in. What a guy!
In the meantime, Elliot was to be found hunched over gasping for breath after walking back from mid pitch conversations with Jihad. However, on a wet pitch, against a wickedly moving ball, on a ground hedged up with soaked, long grass, against a good attack, Doc was carving the attack and his name into a memorable Club innings. After thoughtfully calculating the pull shot would be perilous today, Elliot let rank with his famed short arm jab and wildy flaying head high pull shots. Unbeknown to a lot of us, Elliot still wakes up screaming Jeff Spaldings name, laquered in a cold sweat, from that moment he tried to hook him, with two men back, and having his grill rearranged by a lightning bolt. Today he tried to exorcise Jeff�s demons by hooking and ended up with another off season of midnight screams as he tried hooking again to have the red crash into his bike helmet. With jeers from the Neddys, they cried for another, to which the bowler smartly replied, to which Elliot smartly despatched to the boundry ropes for four. Duece.
However the shot of the day was a mouth drooling-smaking straight drive down the ground for four that had the purists brimming with jealousy at the sweetly timed shot.
Walking onto the ground after drinks, Gihan brought up their plan of attack for their running between the wickets. �Let me see your eyes�, he said, and I will run. This made a lot of sense to Shandy who was walking close by and asked how many run outs the Blues had last year. Unfortunately for Doc, these words marked his doom as his Ranger White instincts of �four or nothing� clashed with the Blues �run on everything� and ended up mid pitch run out for a glorious 37-short of a Century innings. What everyone doenst know is that Doc actually ran out of breath 5 steps into the easy placed single.
In the end, the Rangers racked up a competitive 175 in conditions that proved difficult, yet would push the Neddys to the end.
Things started off well with Undies drawing a false shot that had six, then four then a possible catch written all over it. It turned into a certain catch when the fielder below was found to be one Michael McDonald, Fielder of the Year for the Blues last season. And what a catch it was to fire up the boys. Next ball Undies drew an edge from Churches Austalian Representative, Brendon Dillion and Neo look alike to have the boys punching the air for joy. Poor Elliot down in Fine Leg had to catch the Kianawah curtousy bus to make the journey up to the party.
Soon it was three down as Camo claimed a LBW on an inside edge from Andrew McMutrie [sorry Chook! My bad, mate] However Chad took the catch behind to ease the umpires decision.
The Rangers were on a roll. Everyone was talking and firing each other up. Rhys was a one man team with his constant shouting and encouragment. Elliot was soaked in mud after trying another infamous Andrew Symonds flick on the boundry line while OP was taking us through the themes and complexities of the Friday Night movie- Shawshank Redemption. Another wicket would seal the fate of the long standing dominant Neddys, but Steve �Derka� Derkesen played a watchful innings to guide the Neddys back onto track. Another batter playing the Neddys into form were the wides. The umpire was so sick of signalling them, he ordered a scarecrow to take his place for the diving magpies to take roost on its outstretched arms
Meanwhile, Camo looked like he had a devilish secret he was promised not to tell but couldnt hold it any longer. And that secret was Gavin Bricknell, former Colts player from Seeth Afreeka. And after his first ball, Camo couldnt contain his joy as he was gleefully rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Indeed during Gavin�s first spell, and after a ferocious bounder, Undies exclaimed �this is the best day of my life!�
Unfortunately for the Rangers, this would turn out to be one of the most haunting. Just as the bowlers footing on the wet pitch, the game quickly slipped out from underneath them as wide after wide had the poor Chad desprately diving after forlorn balls. When the wides werent coming, boundaries were being found with ease as Sean Mead laid into the attack. With 3 wickets remaining and 30 runs left, the Neddys looked home and hosed until Mickey Baldwin stunned everyone, including himself as he ran from long on to his right, to dive, get massively airborne, and take a stunner as if he was saving a goal in a penalty shootout at the Champions League. Whoops and shouts echoed of the stadium walls as the boys crowded around the Ranger Motivator as he claimed early stakes on catch of the season.
However the joy was short lived as the Neddys, dare say, didnt steal victory, but just as OP�s lunch is served every day, was handed it on a platter as the sundries column paved the way to a shattering victory. Top scores were Meade with 40, Derka with 27 and Wides, well this will make it into the Ranger Trivia Night. Wides with 47, just missing out on that elusive half century.
Bring on the 2 day format!