Fic Title: Bluff
Author: Firesword
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and
its characters belong to JK Rowling and so on. I just own the fluffy,
little muse.
Summary: It's not what you
think is happening.
Rating: Red Flame.
Warnings: Slash. HP/LM. OOC.
Fluff. Silliness. It's not angst.
Author's Notes: I was in the
middle of writing page 6 of Chapter 22 of PHU ... and listening to
Secret Garden when this arose. It just seems too funny (at least for
me) to ignore.
Ready?
Bluff
By Firesword
"I am so glad."
"You shouldn't speak."
"If I don't, you'll forever be haunted about the things I have never
said."
"..."
"Promise me something."
"What?"
"That you will never forget me."
"I won't, Draco."
"..."
"..."
"I am so glad that it's finally over."
"Draco."
"And Harry. I don't want you to cry when I'm gone, all right?"
"..."
"Hey."
"You should–"
"– Smile for me."
"Draco..."
"And take care of him for me, okay? My father ... my father needs you
more than I do."
"... damn you..."
"Don't say that, Harry. Don't cry – smile."
"..."
"I'm glad it's over. I'm so tired. I'm happy."
"Draco..."
Several moments of silence followed. A tear dropped down the witch's
eye to the sheaf of notes in her hands.
"Oh my god," Hermione Granger muttered to herself and stared at the
wizards on the stage in disbelief. "Oh my god." She turned and looked
at her friend, Hannah Abbot.
"That was so ... bloody icky and believable," her friend whispered, her
eyes looking slightly wild.
"Hey, Draco. Draco! You git! Snap out of it!" Harry shouted suddenly.
The commotion on stage jerked her back to the present and she stared as
Harry shook Draco quite violently. Her raven-haired friend muttered a
few curses and placed his wand directly on Draco's chest. He fired a
spell and Draco stirred.
"Huh?"
"What in the hell do you mean by 'huh'?" Harry screamed. "You weren't
breathing, you idiot!"
"Oh ... I stopped breathing?" Draco blinked. "I was just trying to get
into character."
"You didn't have to do something that drastic, you ferret! You nearly
made my heart stop!"
"My, what a fascinating thing," Draco drawled.
"You..." Harry swore a bit and stormed off the stage.
Hermione blinked and gulped. Then she turned to Hannah. "So ... should
we keep that scene?"
Hannah shrugged. "Well, Professor Ivanna did challenge us to do
something audacious. We'll keep it."
"All right. You heard that, people? We're keeping this one and the
others as well."
"If the people acting doesn't have a problem with it, it's fine with
us. It's revenge after all, for making us bow to the lousy
Beauxbatons," Ginny said with a slight toss of her head.
Several days passed, and the group from Hogwarts returned to the
theater to practice. Severus Snape did not look too pleased being there.
"Please, Professor," Hermione sighed.
"Why me?" the Potions Master growled.
"Because you're the only one who dresses like a priest," a silky voice
said helpfully.
"Shut up, Lucius," Snape lashed out at the silver-haired wizard. "You
don't want me to accidentally bind you to Potter for real, do you?"
"You wouldn't dare," Lucius said dismissively and disappeared backstage.
Hermione shook her head at the older wizards. "Please, Professor?"
"Where is my damned script?"
The bushy-haired witch sighed in relief and gave the wizard the booklet
she had with her.
An hour later, she and the others took their seats and waited
impatiently for the curtains to part. Ron and Draco slipped into their
places in front of her.
"Don't spill your popcorn, all right?" she warned her boyfriend.
"How many times must you remind me, Hermione?" Ron sighed.
"As many times as is required," she answered waspishly.
"Shhhh! They're about to begin!"
Hermione looked anxiously at Snape, Harry and Lucius, and then she
started to groan at Snape's monotonous lines.
"I can't believe it ... but Harry's eye is ticking," Susan whispered
into her ear.
"If I'm the one getting married, I'll be mad too," Zabini muttered. "If
that's the priest ... oh, I would kill him."
"I pronounce you mates for life," Snape said, sounding quite bored.
Harry and Lucius glared at the black-robed wizard.
"Well? Aren't you supposed to kiss?"
Hermione could almost hear her friend on stage growling.
Harry and Lucius turned to look at each other and came closer. They
looked somewhat hesitant.
"Er ... is kissing in their scripts?" Draco had straightened in his
seat.
Hermione paled and quickly flipped through her notes. "I don't think
... no, it can't ... no way!"
"But Hermione ... they're ... they're..."
"Absolutely no fucking way!" Ron had jumped to his feet.
Hermione stopped looking at her scraps of parchment and lifted her
eyes. She dropped her file and stared.
They were kissing on stage. Harry Potter and Lucius Malfoy were
kissing. Hermione could see their tongues twining around each other. An
abstracted part of her could also see Severus Snape backing away in
surprise.
Her friend was kissing Draco's father. It looked as though they were no
strangers to doing that with each other. The kiss grew serious –
Hermione saw Lucius' hand disappearing under Harry's waistband. Someone
behind her shrieked. Hermione blinked and watched in horror as Harry
arched into the touch.
"Lucius! What in Slytherin's name do you think you are doing?" Snape
shouted.
The fair-haired wizard fired a silent spell at the Potions master and
Snape fell unconscious. Lucius had then pinned Harry against the podium.
"Lucius ... Lucius..."
Was that Harry's voice? Hermione could not tell. It sounded different.
She did not want to analyze it, however.
"Lucius, take me home. Now."
The older wizard was holding her friend so tightly she thought he was
going to have bruises all over his sides. Several seconds later, Lucius
had Apparated off with Harry.
Hermione blinked. Somewhat bewilderedly, her eyes looked at Ron. Her
boyfriend was clutching hard at his shoulder-length hair.
"Practicing lines, was he..."
Draco's mumbled words penetrated her hearing.
"I don't believe it," Draco continued to mumble. After a while, he
turned and stared piercingly into her eyes. "This is all your fault,
Granger."
"Mine?" Hermione asked in a dazed voice.
"You're the one who had given my father that part to play," Draco said
in a flat sort of tone.
"But your father..."
"Harry was the one who had said it was all right, hadn't he?" Luna
Lovegood reminded them all.
"Does that mean...?" Ginny Weasley asked, looking shocked.
"Lucius did play his part well ... but ... but..."
"Hermione."
Hannah Abbot was tugging at her sleeve.
"What?"
"Write those scenes down. Including Lucius Malfoy hexing Snape. That
was marvelous. This should be the grand finale."
"I think the audience will run."
"That's the whole idea, isn't it? The Beauxbaton girls are going down."
The End