"This is IT!" Nik suddenly yelled with more anger than I'd heard in his voice to that point. He was running to catch up to the rest of us, where we'd stopped. "How could you do this? Torrey, how, how could you?"

Torrey turned calmly. "Sorry, Nik. I guess this week hasn't worked out to your advantage."

"Hasn't worked out..." Nik sputtered.

"What's the problem?" I asked, not comprehending.

Nik looked at me. "We're right back where we started!"

"None of us knew where we were going, Nik. I didn't mean to lead us in a circle. But you don't know how to get back any more than the rest of us do. You can't blame this on Cat or Furball, or me."

Frustrated because he was unable to argue, Nik turned to Cat and said rudely, "I'll bet you're thrilled."

"Well...uh..." Cat stammered.

"Of course he's thrilled, and so am I," Furball said menacingly. "What are you gonna do about it?"

A frightening realization struck me, and without meaning to at all I interrupted in a timely fashion. "You mean you all met up here?" I asked dumbly. "You mean this spot is just across the river from the battle?"

Torrey nodded bleakly.

"You mean the Barons have gotten a huge force this deep into Col territory?" My voice begged for a negative response that I knew I wouldn't get.

Torrey nodded again and sat down on a fallen log. "This is as good a place to camp as any. It was fine last time, after all," he said ruefully, to Nik's annoyed snort. "We were unprepared," he sighed. "We weren't expecting a fight. They had the advantage of surprise as well as the numbers. Our group was supposed to meet up with three others farther out west. Since the Barons developed their explosive powder, we can't travel in large groups anymore. We have to join forces only just before the attack. And it's a good thing that's what we were doing!"

"Did they have explosive powder with them?" I asked, imagining the damage they could do with it, the horrifying possibilities.

"No," Nik scoffed, at the same time as Torrey said, "I'm willing to bet they did."

Everyone looked at Torrey. "I hear they always do, nowadays." He looked at the ground. "I saw some suspicious crates and barrels. I don't imagine they were carrying wine into battle. Doubtless they'd have lit up the powder had our group put up a fight!" I hadn't heard Torrey's voice so bitter.

"We were out in the open," Nik argued. "Hardly the place to set off a bomb."

"On the contrary, imagine what would've happened to those fields. The fire would've spread like lightning. By the time it reached civilization it would have been impossible to control."

Nik still looked rebellious, but had to stop denying the unavoidable truth and nodded.

It was, surprisingly, Cat who disagreed. "No it wouldn't," he said meekly. "It rained our first day out here, remember?"

Everyone, even Nik and Furball, had to laugh for that observation. My laughter, unfortunately, was short-lived.

"It might have been better if they had used the explosives, fires notwithstanding," I had to remark. "Imagine what they can do with those weapons in the thick of Col civilization. Isn't there any way we can warn them?" I recognized a desperate note in my voice.

They all shook their heads. "It was over a week ago, remember, Bryt?" Torrey said helplessly.

"At first we tried," Nik added defensively. "That's how we got so lost in the first place. At least I think it is," he couldn't resist muttering, and we were right back where we'd started.

"What do you want from us, Nik?" Furball asked heatedly. "You think if Cat and I were missioneers like you you'd be in any different a position?"

"Maybe we would, maybe wouldn't," Nik answered haughtily.

"We wouldn't!" Furball roared. "I'm glad we're still out here and still alive, but if I wanted to be back there, we'd still be here!"

"You know, I bet that's why we're losing the war." Nik's voice dropped maliciously. "Our own soldiers don't even want to fight! You're a bunch of cowards!"

"Nik!" Torrey warned at the same time as Furball responded in a dangerously low tone, "You crossed that river, same as the rest of us."

"But I'm not trying to stay here! Why can't you just let me go?"

Furball laughed. "You don't know how to get out of here any more than we do."

"Then why won't you let me try and find it?" Nik whispered fiercely. "Why won't you let me look for help? Why are you so afraid to let me out of your sight?"

"Oh, spare me � "

"It would be so much easier for you if you could just kill me," Nik went on as if Furball hadn't spoken. "Wouldn't it Furball? Then you could hide as long as you want. You could hide forever. Doesn't that sound perfect?"

"That's enough, Nik � " Torrey quickly stepped in.

"In fact, the only problem you would have out here," Nik raised his voice to be heard, "is the lack of women. There's nothing out here except" he spread his arms, "trees, and...animals. Maybe you could keep Cat with you."

Furball, prepared this time for the opportunity, dove at Nik. Torrey moved to intercept him way too slowly, and the next second Furball was on top of Nik, pounding his face and screaming obscenities.

Nik was screaming, too, not for Furball to get off him, but rather still hurling insults as his face got bloodier and bloodier. Torrey was soon on top of Furball, also yelling though I couldn't tell what or at whom. "You guys are on the same team!" I shouted, appalled, but of course no one heard. Cat stood bewildered.

Suddenly, Furball pushed himself back, knocking Torrey to the ground. He rolled over, clutching his left arm and swearing in pain As he spun away I saw the light from the setting sun glinting off the knife in Nik's hand.

Torrey saw it, too. Outraged, he swiped the knife away. I thought for a second that he was about to hit Nik, too, but controlled himself and jammed the knife into a free case in his own weapon band.

Furball got up then and would have attacked again, this time with knife bared, but Torrey blocked his way. Torrey snatched that weapon, too, Furball yielding to his authority even in the heat of battle. I looked at them with new disgust. Was this Nik's attempt to force Furball back to the base? If so, it would never work. Furball wouldn't yield this way, simply out of spite if for no other reason. And if Furball were trying to kill Nik to get him out of the way, that was just as dumb. Torrey would never continue to side with Furball if he succeeded in killing his antagonistic battlemate.

Torrey looked like he wanted to kill them both at the moment. "Nik," he said in a cold monotone, "go wash your face. Furball, get that shirt off. Let's have a look at this." Both obeyed immediately, Furball wincing as he released the pressure on his shoulder and blood gushed out; Nik moaning quietly as he pushed himself to his feet.

"Which way is it?" Nik muttered, brushing blood from his eyes. Torrey grabbed him by the shoulders and angrily spun him around to the direction of the river, giving him a rough push forward. I instinctively moved to help him when he staggered, but the look on Torrey's face arrested me.

Torrey turned to Furball and muttered, "You two are more trouble than you're worth." Then he turned to me. "You have any medical skills, Bryt?" I shook my head. He sighed. "All right. Go." He nodded in Nik's direction. So I followed Nik off on his way while Torrey bent to see what he could do about Furball's wound, Cat timidly joining him.

I slipped my arm under Nik's across his back, and though he tried not to lean on me I doubt he could have made it alone. His face was a bloody mess. Once again I silently cursed them for their stupidity. They were so obviously both worse off now that they'd had their long-anticipated fight.

We reached the river in under ten minutes (proximity to the river being one of the few benefits of reaching the group's original starting point). After checking to make sure there were no Barons in sight, I eased Nik down in front of the river so he could reach the sandy shallow water. He moved himself a step closer, actually in the river, to reach the moving, cleaner water. As he splashed his face I saw that it wasn't as bad as it looked. A bloody nose and lip appeared to account for most of the damage, though a few deep scratches marred his forehead, too. At one point Nik spat something into the water, and I as it floated away I saw that it was a tooth.

I looked at him sadly. "What were you thinking?" I asked.

He shrugged. I sighed. Nik was young, I realized, hardly older than me. I wondered if he'd ever been on a real mission at all. He had a lot to learn about teamwork.

"You do realize that you and Furball are on the same side," I pointed out.

"Depends on the issue," Nik said with a halfhearted smile.

"You're both Cols," I ignored him. "Cols don't draw knives on each other. Cols don't fight each other. Cols fight Barons. You think you're making up for running from that battle by fighting your own teammate now?"

"He's not my teammate..."

"You all voted Torrey 'Captain,' right? Only mission teams have Captains. So that makes you guys a team."

"They're not even missioneers," Nik complained.

"So you can't be on the same team with them? Because Cat and Furball aren't missioneers, and you are, and you're so much better than the two of them, you can't work together with them? Well, that's a great attitude, Nik. Very honorable."

Nik looked at me for a long time, blood welling back up in his cuts. "They want to stay here," he finally said, not exactly arguing with me. "They don't want to fight."

"So you'll injure the arm that Furball has to fight with? And you know you could have done much worse than that! Face it Nik, you aren't doing anybody any good. All you do is cause trouble among your fellow Cols. Why?"

"If I could get them to come back � "

"Is that really what you're trying to do, Nik?" I asked softly. "Because I don't think that's what it's about anymore."

Nik looked at me with such mixed sentiments apparent that I couldn't read him. "I know," he unexpectedly conceded, and rose abruptly to end the conversation.

Though he swayed on his feet a little upon rising so quickly, I didn't touch him, letting him make the walk back to the camp by himself. I'd already wounded his pride enough.

* * *

All of us were shocked when Nik's first words upon reentering the camp were a mumbled, "Sorry, Furball."

Furball, instantly on his guard against such an unexpected statement, said defensively, "What do you mean you're sorry? I'm the one who pounded you good."

Nik's only response was to lie down on the ground, curl up into a ball, and immediately fall asleep.

Torrey, looking extremely concerned, turned to me. I shrugged, smiling. "He'll be all right; don't worry. I think his pride was hurt worse than his head. Though I didn't expect him to apologize."

"I don't think Nik has ever apologized to anyone in his life." Torrey still looked dumbfounded.

"That explains why he's not much good at it," I grinned, rolling my eyes at the sleeping figure. Torrey laughed wholeheartedly. "How's the arm, Furball?" I continued.

"It's fine," Furball said gruffly, then relented from his tough manner and actually grinned. "Cat managed to stitch it up with a pin from your pack and thread from my shirt."

"That's great," I looked respectfully at Cat, who blushed but was obviously bursting with pride. "A pin is a very useful item," I muttered in an added remembrance to myself.

"It's nice to have an empath around," Torrey commented, almost jealously.

"You can say that again."

"Shut up, Furball," I responded good-naturedly to his lewd tone.

That night was probably the first time the four of them went to sleep more or less at peace. And it only took a few head injuries and a knife wound, I thought with satisfaction. I should have been happy for the role I'd played in bringing about this new peace among teammates. But the day had unsettled me more than anything else. I couldn't seem to put the thought of Baron soldiers deep in Col territory out of my mind. Images flashed behind my eyes of the terror they could wreak with their explosive weapons. Of course, we had defense forces stationed well ahead of our main settlement area, but with explosives involved, who could tell? Shivering with more than cold, I imagined what would happen to us if the Barons won the war. Would they enslave us all and take our land? More likely they'd just kill us. I pictured them blowing up our buildings with us inside, like the soldiers in that valley to the west of the Great Dome Battlefield. Or would they prefer to kill us one by one, humiliating us and laughing, as they had Seile?

Unable to sleep, I retraced the path Nik and I had taken earlier to the river, the moonlight guiding my way. I sat down on a large boulder facing the water. Why was I thinking such negative thoughts, I asked myself? It wasn't a healthy attitude. But the answer was obvious: because we seemed plainly to be losing the war. I sighed, staring out at the rushing river, a beautiful blue in the moonlight. And I thought of other times alongside it, when I'd followed it into Baron territory instead of out. I'd really thought I could make a difference, one little missioneer. And why? Because I'd graduated at the top of my class? I laughed bitterly at my own romantic fantasies, as I looked out across a river so broad it seemed an ocean, and yet was only a thin line on the surface of the planet. I was comprehending how big the world really was, and how little my existence mattered to it. Disturbed as I was by my depressing line of thought despite my determination to keep a positive attitude regardless of the setbacks, I couldn't bring myself to leave the moonlit scene just yet. I was shocked almost to falling off the boulder when someone appeared right beside me, his approach blended perfectly with all the other noises of the night. It was Torrey.

"You scared me," I accused lightly, making room for him on the rock.

"Sorry," he apologized, climbing up. "What are you doing out here?"

"I couldn't sleep," I told him. "You?"

"The same. Guess it's just too weird to sleep without worrying a fight will break out in the middle of the night."

I smiled.

"I'm really glad you came along with us, Bryt," he said honestly. "In some ways I think you'd probably be a better Captain for this team than I can."

I snorted at the prospect.

"Just in some ways," Torrey smiled amiably. "But I don't think you really belong with this group."

I digested his words as he sat on the rock next to me. He wasn't saying this to get me out of his hair and let him Captain this team on his own, though he was the calculating type, a trait that I'd recognized soon upon meeting him. It was due to this trait, in fact, that, for all the obvious flaws of the other three, Torrey was the darkest one. He remained secretive, hidden, while his companions radiated their emotions in youthful innocence. But that wasn't just a result of youth, I reminded myself, for Tuck was barely older than these three and had no such aura of innocence about him. Nor did Arilla, who was even younger. What is it that makes one lose one's innocence? I asked myself. Had I yet lost mine?

"Bryt?" Torrey asked, smiling and looking at me strangely. I'd been staring at him.

"Sorry." I shook my head, clearing my mind of pointless questions. "Just tired. What did you say?"

Torrey sighed. "I said I think you should leave us, Bryt," he said earnestly. "You've got better things to do than wander around with a group of lost soldiers. You've actually got a mission."

"I don't know where my team is..." I began.

"Then why don't you find them? Look," he said irritably, and I realized that for his own sake he didn't like what he was telling me. "You can follow the river north from here and we'll follow it south until it bends away. Even if you can't find your team, you've got a mission to accomplish."

"A mission which, knowing my team, hasn't been touched," I remarked sardonically.

"I'd send Nik with you but I can't send a kid with a head injury into Baron land," Torrey said in such an off-hand tone that I almost missed reading what it was that was troubling him.

"And you'd go with me if it weren't for the three of them," I jerked my head back in the direction of the camp. I was filled with compassion as the missioneer nodded sadly, head down.

"When a group elects you their chosen leader you feel a kind of loyalty to them." He managed to smile. "I couldn't leave them if I wanted to. Can't leave them..." he amended, and couldn't continue.

I patted his shoulder awkwardly. "There'll be other missions..." I tried to sound reassuring.

"Of course. I'm not that old yet." Torrey's tone changed abruptly.

I scoffed at the idea, thinking of the resolute strength, vigor, the man had about him.

"You should get your gear together and leave now, if you're not too tired," Torrey said briskly, sliding off the rock. "Spare the scene tomorrow when Nik refuses to stay with us so therefore Furball refuses to let you go. Undo all the progress we made tonight."

I nodded, seeing the wisdom in his words. But as I stood I in the camp circle a few minutes later I couldn't help wishing I didn't have to once again leave without saying goodbye. So I bent to gently kiss Nik on his swollen, bruised forehead. He would have some headache tomorrow. Then, because he'd wanted it so badly, I kissed Furball on the cheek. He stirred in his sleep and I wondered what he was dreaming. Just to be fair, I kissed Cat, too, and was off.

I'd gone only a few paces when I turned back.

"Torrey?" I called. "Good luck finding the Col base."

"We'll be there," was his confident reply, so I smiled, turned, and left.